


Behind the Armor

by MissMeggo



Series: Behind the Armor [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Resolved Sexual Tension, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-27 12:51:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 57
Words: 91,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMeggo/pseuds/MissMeggo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What the hell are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“Looking for you little one.”</p>
<p>Her eyes rolled and she twisted to look at him.  “I’m not your little one.  Never was and never will be.  So, if you’re here to repeat your offer from last year, you can shove it.”</p>
<p>“Ahh, you’re a smart one little Ella.  You’re positive I can’t…persuade you?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Her response was flat and she returned to her drink.  “I’m not going back.”</p>
<p>“Have you really left?  All you’ve done is trade one gang for another.  The alliance is no better than we are.  They just have pretty uniforms and shiny toys.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Spans from before ME1 through all three games.  Zaeed/Female Shepard pairing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is all Pixelatrix and EpsilonBeta's fault. Blame them.

Ella hadn’t meant to get separated from the group.  She was _finally_ old enough to celebrate her birthday with the older kids outside of the orphanage instead of some silly party with the little kids.  All she really wanted to do was get some ice cream, but no one would listen to her.  So Ella slipped away when the case worker had her back turned and headed to the store they passed earlier.

It would have been fine, except she didn’t have any credits.  By the time she remembered that and went back to find the group, they were gone.  They had taken a transport into the city’s center, so she couldn’t even walk back to the home. _“No crying.  Almost twelve year olds don’t cry,”_ she told herself repeatedly.  Ella hopped onto a stool, close enough to the door she could dart out at moments notice and away from the sight of the employees.  Early on she learned people don’t like street kids and tried to make herself look as unassuming as possible. 

Time passed in a blur as Ella watched people of all shapes and sizes come in and out of the small ice cream shop.  The ones in uniforms scared her a bit and chose not to look at them too long.  Eventually another kid came and sat at her table.  He looked a lot like boys that waited outside of the orphanage for the kids who got too old to stay. 

“Hey kid.”  His voice was rough, like the director’s voice after he yelled. “Whatcha doin’ sitting around this place?”

Ella contemplated him for a minute.  If she didn’t answer, he’d probably just get mad and start yelling.  So she went with a half-truth.  “I’m waiting,” she replied.

His eyes seemed to sharpen as he stared at the little girl.  “Waiting for what?”

“A friend,” she lied smoothly, flashing innocent looking blue eyes at him.  “We’re gonna get ice cream together.”  Ella recoiled slightly when his smile sharpened and turned predatory.  She was young, but not stupid.  Living in the orphanage had exposed her to a lot at a very young age.

“Well then,” he began.  “Guess I’ll wait with ya huh?”

A large hand settled against the boy’s shoulder and pulled him around roughly.  “Bugger off kid,” the man nearly growled.  Ella watched the teen scurry for the door, obviously wanting as much space between him and the other, taller man.  He didn’t look much older than the scary boy, but something about him made her shiver.   He wasn’t wearing a uniform she recognized, but it was one all the same.

She started to hop off the chair and escape before he noticed, until green eyes seemed to pin her to the chair.  “Where ya going sweetheart?”  The angry voice had mellowed to a questioning rumble.  “And don’t goddamn lie.”

He was surprised at the depth of the sigh the little girl let out.  “Gotta figure out how to get back to the orphanage.  My group left me behind.”  He watched her kick at the table leg.  “All I wanted was ice cream for my birthday.” 

He stared at the red-headed slip of a girl before cursing under his breath.  “Don’t move,” he ordered before stepping away to vidcall someone.  Ella watched him argue with someone for a moment before his gaze settled on her once again.  He motioned for her to join him and dropped a credit chit into her hand, nodding towards the counter.

Her young eyes narrow in suspicion.  Even at twelve she knew nothing came without a price.  His free hand nudged her towards the line before his attention was drawn back to the screen.  Ella scampered off, waiting impatiently in line.  The man joined her right before she placed her order.

He carried her lemon gelato back to the table by the door and sat across from her.  Before taking a bite, Ella looked at him, slightly bashfully.  “Thank you,” she nearly whispered.

His arms crossed against his chest.  “What’s your name kid?”

“Ella,” she responded between bites.  “Ella Shepard.  Who’re you?”

“Name’s Zaeed.”  He scowled a bit when she giggled.  “Problem with my name kid?”

She shrugged.  “Never heard a name like that before.  I like it.”

“Well Ella Shepard, I can’t take you back to the orphanage.  My type isn't bloody welcome there.  I got a friend coming to get you.  He’ll get you home.”  He watched the apprehension cross her face.

“No police,” she muttered, angry eyes meeting his.

He laughed.  “Cops don’t much like me either kid.  He’s alliance.”

Her little shoulders straightened a bit.  “That’s not much better.  Do I have to go back?  They’re gonna be so mad I snuck away.  I’m never gonna get to leave again.”

“Quit whining and eat your goddamn ice cream.” 

She scowled at him, but continued to eat.  Ella had just finished the bowl when a second man in alliance fatigues approached the table.   Zaeed scowled.  “Took your bloody time Steven.”

“Shut it Massani.  I got here when I could.”  He turned towards Ella and crouched beside her.  She shrunk back in her chair, but met his gaze.  He smiled at her and held his hand out.  “My name’s Steven. And who would you be?”  She glanced at Zaeed for approval before accepting the handshake and answered him in a whisper.  “Well then Ella Shepard, let’s get you home.”

She nodded once and sighed as she slid off the chair.  Steven stood and motioned towards the door.  Ella hesitated beside Zaeed.  Her arms wrapped as far as they could around him in a brief, impulsive hug before scampering towards the door.  “Hey kid,” he called from his spot at the table.  Ella turned at the door to face him.  “Happy Birthday.”

 

**3 years later**

Time passed weird when you lived on the streets.  Sometimes weeks passed in an instant and sometimes they took months.  If she hadn’t stumbled into that exact part of town, Ella would have forgotten she turned fifteen a few days before.  She stepped into the small ice cream shop she remembered from a few years before.  The décor hadn’t changed much; maybe a little older, a little more worn.  The crowds she remembered weren’t there anymore.  The neighborhood had slowly been sucked into The Red’s territory and people were going out less at night.

She ordered a dish of lemon gelato for old times sake and sat down near the table she had when she was twelve.  Nothing and everything had changed for her since that afternoon. Ella was still a street kid, still an orphan.  Except now she didn’t live in an orphanage, but a crumbling abandoned building with the other younger kids The Reds kept around.  Still rules she needed to follow, still harsh consequences if she didn’t.  Now the gang leaders dealt them instead of a center director.  Her mind flashed to the night she ran away for the final time.

_She hadn’t meant to throw Jordan against the wall.  One moment his hands were coming down to hit her, the next her own were bathed in blue and the boy was against the far wall, dazed with blood dripping from a gash along his forehead._

_The center director had locked her in his office.  Stupid fucker hadn’t realized she could hear him from behind the door.  He called her dangerous, a liability.  The police needed to be called, the alliance.  The director heard they paid a stipend for biotic kids that were referred._

_The window locks were ridiculously easy for Ella to pick.  A matter of moments passed and she was out the window and across the street.  She watched from the window of an apartment that had been evicted the week before.   The alliance and police showed at the same time.  If she didn’t know better, the one man looked eerily like the officer who took her home all those years ago.  Not that someone in the alliance would care about a random street kid._

_Ella slept in the apartment that night.  Before daylight broke, she was out the door.  The landlord hadn’t cleaned the place yet and a quick rifle through the place found a bag and clothes that would sort of fit.  A pang of guilt shot through her when she pocketed a few stray credit chits she found lying around, but she would need to eat eventually._

_It wasn’t long after that night when The Reds took her in.  They made sure she was fed and had a place to sleep.  There were no strings at first, but Ella was smart enough to know they would come and they had.  One of the older girls eventually pulled her aside and taught her how to dress.  Jeans and pants a bit too snug, and tops that dipped a little too low.  Low heeled boots that were cute, but she could run in.  Makeup and hair that was a hint too adult for a fourteen year old.  It was the first time she had been given clothes that were brand new and just for her._

_The leaders said she was a beauty.  Her hair had deepened from a brassy red to a burnished copper.  Paired with innocent looking blue eyes and Ella proved a welcome distraction.  They sent her into businesses or up to marks as a distraction.  She looked, and could act, like a lost teen better than most.  They even let her keep the chits the marks sometimes gave her.  Tips, they called it._

Ella pushed the empty dish away from her.  This wasn’t the life she had pictured for herself, but she didn’t have much of a choice.  A chime from her secondhand omni-tool reminded her she was supposed to be meeting Alec about another mark.  Reluctantly she left the store when her attention was drawn to the alley a few steps down.  Six men and two batarians were arguing.  All but one wore armor.  Ella planned to give the arguing men wide berth until a name caught her attention. _“Zaeed.”_

She ducked into a nearby doorway, hidden from the group.  Even after three years it was easy for her to distinguish which one was the man from her memories.  It made her uneasy when she realized he was the one without armor.  A scuffle broke out and the men converged on each other.  Ella couldn’t tell them apart until a shot rang out. Zaeed was on the ground, the others around him.  Without thinking, her biotics flared and four of the men went flying. 

A chorus of “holy shit!” and “we gotta get out of here” rang through the alley as they dispersed.  Ella edged her way forward, concerned one of them stayed behind.  Finding him alone, she dropped to her knees beside him.

“Please be alive,” she muttered quietly, hands brushing against his neck.  A faint pulse beat in his neck.  Ella rummaged around her bag and pulled out a pack of medi-gel.  She doctored the wound the best she could.  “stay alive,” she pleaded to the unconscious man before running back into the ice cream store.

The boy behind the counter stared wide-eyed at her and she realized her green shirt was smattered with blood.  “Please,” she begged, not sure if she was acting or truly upset.  “Please, they shot him.  In the alley.  Call someone.  Please.”  Her eyes welled up with tears as the boy vid-called the police.

Ella startled as a customer slid an arm around her.  “Where is he dear?  I’ll go wait for the police with you.”  The other woman seemed calm and she led Ella towards the alley.  She waited until the cops showed before slipping away from the scene.  Ella watched from across the street, hidden in shadows, as Zaeed was loaded into a shuttle and flown off into the night.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Weekend

**3 years later**

Ella glanced around the nearly empty streets.  The chance of anyone from The Reds being out at dawn was slim, but instinct told her to double check.  Things had changed over the past few months.  Skycar jackings and protection extortions had quickly become a thing of the past.  Marcus had the gang participating in increasingly violent jobs and Ella was pretty sure some had started dealing Red Sand.

Marcus had brought in a new member a few months previous.  “Consulting” he had called it.  Ella was pretty sure he wanted to merge The Reds with whatever group the new guy was from.  Something about him put her on edge.  The other women flocked around him, trying to gain favor, but she was wary.  She didn’t like the way his eyes followed her, the gleam they got when he found out she was a biotic. 

So Ella found herself outside the Alliance recruitment office.  It was really her only way off the streets.  She hid in the doorway across from the building until lights popped on and her omnitool chirped the hour.  She slunk into the offices after giving the streets one last suspicious look. 

The woman behind the receptionist desk gave her a rather disdainful once-over as Ella approached. She met the gaze, a disarming smile on her face.  The grey shirt exposed one shoulder a bit more than it should and her jeans rode a bit low, but it was the only outfit Ella owned outright.  From the silver bracelets around her wrist to the black studded boots, it was hers, not something provided by The Reds.

“Can I help you?”  The woman was curt.

“Who do I speak to about enlisting?”

“Do you have an appointment?” 

“No ma’am.”

The older woman sighed.  “Tuesday’s we only take appointments.  But, I guess you could wait and see if anyone doesn’t show, though I doubt that’ll happen.”

Ella gave her a bland smile and took a seat on an uncomfortable bench.  Hours passed as she sat watching bright eyed hopefuls disappear into offices.   Most came out with a look of excitement, others dejected and, in one case, in tears.  They passed Ella without a second glance, not that it bothered her much.  Being invisible to most people was how she had survived the past four years.

Eventually the waiting room emptied.  Her stomach churned a reminder that she hadn’t eaten in hours, and she was glad she remembered to pack a few ration bars with her.  Even working with The Reds, food wasn’t always plentiful.  Combined that with her biotics, she learned quickly that some of her spare credits had to go towards protein and ration bars.  She had begun to unwrap one when a pair of uniformed clad legs stopped in front her.  Ella glanced up at the recruiter.

“You’ve been sitting here the last four hours young lady.  What exactly are you waiting for?”

“I’d like to enlist, but didn’t realize I needed an appointment.”  She watched his eyes narrow and trail across her face.

“What’s your name?” he asked, suspicion colored his words.

 “Ella.  Ella Shepard.”   

At her response, a grin split across his face. “Well then Ella Shepard, follow me into my office.”  She stood and followed him quickly, ignoring the shocked look on the receptionist’s face.  He motioned towards a chair and she took a seat across from him.  A few moments passed before he spoke.  “You don’t remember me, do you?”

Ella panicked internally as she tried to place the man in front of her.  She was screwed if he had been a previous mark.  “Am I supposed to?”  She tried to buy herself time.

“You were a lot younger the last time I met you in an ice cream shop.  I believe it was your twelfth birthday.”

Ella started at him as she tried to recall the day.  “The alliance soldier.  Steven, right?”

He nodded once in agreement.  “Commander Steven Hackett.  Didn’t think I’d ever see you again after you ran from the orphanage kid.”

“How do you know about that?”

“I was the Alliance contact that showed up the night you threw that boy against the wall.”

“So you already know?”

“Yeah kid, I know.  What I don’t know is where you’ve been the past four years.”

“Would you accept ‘just around’?”  The frown he gave her was answer enough.  “In town.  I did some work for The Reds.”  She waited for the look of disgust, but it didn’t show.

“So why are you here now?”

“Turn 18 next week.  I’m done with the gangs.  Figured the Alliance was the best way out for a biotic.”

He leaned back in the chair.  “I’ll be honest Shepard, it’s not going to be easy.  You’ll need to pass entrance exams since you didn’t go through school.  Not to mention the physical and biotics assessment.  Think you can handle all that?”

“I’ll do what it takes.”

They stared at each other a moment, Hackett looking for some sign.  “Well then, welcome to the Alliance, Shepard.  You’ll begin testing tomorrow.”  His hand extended towards hers.  She shook it and his hand tightened around hers slightly.  “Do you have a place to stay?  A place away from The Reds?”

For the first time, her shoulders slumped as she pulled her hand away.  “Not really.  I’ll find a place.”

He shook his head no.  “We have temporary housing.  I’ll get you set up with something away from their territory.  You can’t go back Ella.  Be sure about this.”

She nudged the leather bag towards him.  “I’m not sure you understand.  All I own is in this bag.  I never fully joined The Reds and have no intentions of going back.  Ever.”

“Relax Shepard.  I don’t doubt your desires to get away, but even without being a full member, they’ll be hard pressed to let you go.  They’ve spent the last, what, three years grooming you?  It’ll be a major loss for them.”

She sighed.  “I know and I’m sorry I snapped.  The temporary housing would be great.

He handed her a datapad.  “No apologies needed.  This has all the information you’ll need for the next few days and an address for housing.  You’re scores will be sent to me once you’re done with assessments.”

She slipped the pad into her bag and stood.  “Thank you, sir.  I won’t disappoint you.”

“You have potential Shepard.  Let them see that.”

“I will sir.”  She headed towards the lobby, but paused at the threshold and looked back. “Do you ever hear from him?”

“Who?”

“Zaeed.  I wonder about him sometimes.”

“Occasionally.  Less in the past few years.”

“Next time you hear from him, tell him I say ‘hi’, would you?”

“I’ll pass the message on.”

“Thank you sir.” 

Hackett watched her leave the building before he shut the door and messaged his bounty hunter friend.


	3. Chapter 3

She was officially an alliance marine.  Three intense days of tests, physicals, and biotic assessments had taken their toll, but she had done it.  Hackett had sent over a box containing two pairs of fatigues, a pair of dress blues, and an alliance-issued credit chit pre-loaded with her signing and biotic bonuses.  The abnormally high amount in her account had Ella pulling up a message to the Lieutenant.

_E.S.- The new gear arrived this morning.  My account seems to be a bit credit heavy though.  Know anything about that?_

_S.H.- I assure you it’s standard signing and biotic bonuses._

_E.S.- Standard my ass.  I know this is at least double that.  Where did it come from?_

_S.H.- Get your shopping done today Ella.  You’ve been scheduled for amp implant surgery in the morning._

_E.S.- You can’t distract me with shiny things Lieutenant._

_S.H.- Let it go Shepard._

_E.S.- Is that an order?_

_S.H.- I can make it one._

_E.S.- Everything comes with strings.  People don’t do things out of the goodness of their heart._

_S.H.- There’s no strings Ella.  Enjoy it.  You need supplies and now you can get them._

_E.S.- . . . .fine._

_E.S.- Will I see you before I ship out?_

_S.H.- You have 72 hours post-op recovery time before you ship out.  I’m sure I can find some time to stop by._

_E.S.- Okay.  Guess I need to go spend some credits huh?_

_S.H.- Good luck tomorrow._

_E.S.- Will do. . .and thanks Steven._

She logged out of the chat and signed herself out of temporary housing.  If she only had four more days before boot-camp, there was no way Ella wanted to spend it in bland temporary housing.  The extra credits were enough to get her checked into a decent hotel with a view of something more enjoyable than another building. 

For the first time Ella could remember, she went shopping with her own finances, not with the “tips” she earned working as a distraction for The Reds.  A new omnitool was her first purchase.  It was easy to wipe the outdated model and drop it unceremoniously into the nearest waste bin.  A few sets of jeans, tops, and boots for shore leave.  She pined over a gorgeous caramel colored leather jacket, but years of scraping by had her deciding against it.  Instead, she settled on a white fedora with black piping.  It was frivolous and unpractical and Ella absolutely adored it.

Dusk had nearly settled before she began the walk to her hotel.  Lost in her own thoughts, Ella didn’t realize she was being followed until she was yanked into an alley.  Her head rapped against the side of the building as a hand settled across her throat. 

“Did you really think we’d let you go that easily little one?”  Marcus shifted, crowding her against the wall.  “The Reds took care of you for four years and you up and disappear?”

Ella’s biotics flared and sent The Red’s leader flying.  “Don’t ever fucking touch me again,” she hissed as he staggered to his feet.  “I don’t belong to the Reds and made damn sure of that.”

“The new leaders, we got plans for you girl.  Plans you’ll want to hear.  You can even stay with The Alliance.”  Marcus took a limping step towards her, attempting to cut off her escape route.

“I have no desire to listen to your plans.”  She held her ground, refusing to back away from The Reds leader.

“You’ll go nowhere.  Street kids like you are cannon fodder, even with your biotics.  Let us help you stay alive in there.  All you need to do feed us information; drops, patrol routes, things like that.”  Marcus slowly stepped towards her as he spoke. 

A figured stepped behind the gang leader and a rifle butt slammed against his head.  Marcus crumpled to the ground a second time.  “I believe the lady told you to piss off.”  Mismatched eyes connected with Ella’s.  “Been a damn long time sweetheart.”

“Zaeed.”  She couldn’t stop the relief, and happiness, that colored her voice.  Ella stepped around Marcus, who smartly had not risen from the second attack.  She leaned over the prostrate man.  “I don’t care who the new leaders are, or what they want.  You can tell the damn consultant I’m done with The Reds.” 

The two exited the alleyway and walked together in silence.  His hand settled on the small of her back as he directed Ella into a dimly bar and a booth at the back.  Moments later a bottle of whiskey and two glasses sat on the table.  Zaeed filled the glasses and placed one in front of her.  Ella pushed it back towards him. “Not a drinker sweetheart?”

She shrugged.  “Don’t mind it, but I can’t.  Not tonight at least.”

“And why’s that?”

Her hand flicked up towards where the jack would be placed and rubbed lightly.  “Medical procedure before I ship out.  Can’t drink beforehand.”

“Make bloody sure you get an L3.  Goddamn L2s make people crazy.”  He watched her jaw clench and relax a few times as she stared at him.  “Well, spit it out.”

“How did you know?”

“Besides seeing the goddamn blue lights coming from the alley?  Steven told me why you ran from the bloody orphanage.”

“Steven apparently doesn’t know how to mind his own business,” she grumbled under her breath. 

Zaeed let out a sharp bark of laughter before downing his drink.  “I’ve known the bastard nearly twelve years.  He’s a damn busy body.”

Shepard answered with a grin.  He pulled her into a conversation, aware the Ella only gave the most basic and superficial of answers.  She deflected and redirected him whenever he got too serious.  He’d finished half the bottle before her eyes began drifting shut.  “Am I boring you sweetheart?”

Her eyes widened a bit.  “No, just a long week with lots of early mornings.  Plus adrenaline spikes are a bitch.”

“Better get used to them.  They’ll happen a lot in basic.  Let’s call it a night.”

Ella found herself pleasantly surprised when he followed her back to the hotel.  She hesitated at the door and Zaeed’s hands pressed against her lightly until she turned to face him.  His thumb traced the line of her jaw before carding through her hair softly.  Zaeed leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “Good luck sweetheart.”

He’s disappeared into the crowd before Ella could respond to the casual affection.  With an exasperated sigh, she headed back to her room to pack one last time.  The new clothes were carefully packed into a crate for shipping to Vancouver and her omnitool was stashed beside the bed, but an unexpected package sat unopened.

Curious, she opened the box and pulled out the soft leather jacket she had admired earlier.  Ella frowned as she noticed a slip of paper pinned to the collar. 

_I was disappointed to hear you turned down our offer._

_You were admiring this.  Take the jacket as a gesture of goodwill._

_We’ll be here when the Alliance fails to support you the way we do._

_~V_

Ella let out a very unlady like snort. She didn’t know who “V” was, but she had a good idea.  She tossed the jacket onto the desk with a pang of sadness before she crawled into bed.  It was gorgeous, but the gang couldn’t buy her loyalty.  Anticipation over boot camp and a new life pushed aside past regrets as Ella drifted to sleep.

The shrill ring from the bedside terminal woke her before the alarm.  A harried sounding desk clerk apologized for waking her, but a package had just been delivered and needed immediate delivery.  Resigned to staring her day earlier than expected, Ella had it delivered. 

A second unexpected package set her on edge.  This one was smaller, but heavy.  A few quick movements unsealed the small container.  Inside was a mid-range Pinnacle pistol.  Recruits were allowed to supply their own weapons, as long as they fell within SOP of the Alliance.  Ella had planned on using alliance issue until she saved enough for a decent weapon.  The Pinnacle was top of the line for recruits.

Ella lifted the pistol hesitantly.  Her gaze settled on the folded piece of paper still sitting in the box.  A quick read had her smiling. 

_Ella,_

_This will last longer than a goddamn bowl of ice cream._

_Happy Birthday sweetheart._

_Z.M._

 

This gift, she would take with her.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Six months of boot camp, three months of biotic training, and an additional three months of Vanguard training, Ella finally got a shore leave that lasted longer than 48 hours.  She had spent the past two weeks enjoying the sights and drinking her way through Irish pubs with her biotic training squad.  She watched from the bar as her friends began pairing off with each other or other patrons.

It wasn’t that she lacked for company herself, but she had rules.  Most civilians were wary of her biotics and she wasn’t stupid enough to get involved with someone in her own squad.  She’d watched a few of those relationships blow up spectacularly in the past year and had no desire to be part of that.  Her shore leave was often spent in the company of other biotics, from different squads.  Both parties left mutually satisfied with no expectations.  Ella finished off her beer, slipped her newly purchased black fedora on, and said her goodbyes to the group before heading to a little hole in the wall they had found the second night there.

The bar was half empty when she arrived.  Taking a seat at the bar she ignored the rippling conversation and pointed looks, and ordered herself a bottle of scotch and a glass.  Biotics were great, but they made getting a buzz twice as hard.  She pulled up her omni tool, glancing through the messages.  Again.  She had messaged Zaeed at the beginning of her leave, hoping he might be in system.  He hadn’t responded and Ella had to finally admit to herself she was disappointed she wouldn’t get to see him. 

They had messaged each other on and off through her training.  Hackett had reluctantly handed over Zaeed’s contact information after months of Ella hounding him.  Her simple thank you message morphed into him checking in on her every few weeks and care packages.  They arrived un-named, but she figured it out when he sent a mod for the Pinnacle and a bottle of whiskey.  His packages, along with Hackett’s, had made training seem a little less lonely.

She glanced up, irritated when someone took the seat directly to her left.  The man was bulky, his skin a dark brown and hair a bit unruly.  Ella recognized him immediately.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Looking for you little one.”

Her eyes rolled and she twisted to look at him.  “I’m not your little one.  Never was and never will be.  So, if you’re here to repeat your offer from last year, you can shove it _V._ ”

“Ahh, you’re a smart one little Ella.  You’re positive I can’t. . .persuade you?”

“Yes.” Her response was flat and she returned to her drink.  “I’m not going back.”

“Have you really left?  All you’ve done is trade one gang for another.  The alliance is no better than we are.  They just have pretty uniforms and shiny toys.

At least we don’t hide behind smoke and mirrors.”

“Says the man who only refers to himself as ‘The consultant” or ‘V’. 

“Who I am is not a secret little one.  My friend’s call me Vido.  I hope you will as well.”

She sighed and pushed away from the bar.  “I won’t be calling you anything.  We’re done here.”  He moved as if to follow her.  “I wouldn’t,” she warned.  “I doubt you want to walk into a bar full of marines.”  His eyes narrowed, but he sat back down.  “Good call _V_.”

Ella left the bar, hand pressed against the pistol tucked under her leather coat.  She hoped he wasn’t stupid enough to follow as she tracked down a sky car to take her back towards the hotel.  Drinking alone in her room was not how she planned to spend her last night of shore leave, so she made her way to a bar Hackett had suggested in his last message.

A few pints and numerous shots later, Ella pondered Vido’s words.  Had she traded one gang for another?  Wasn’t her job in the alliance to take orders without questioning?  To kill and maim for some unknown “greater good”?  Was she destined to follow orders blindly for the rest of her life?

Her omnitool sounded an incoming message.  Ella gave it a brief glanced before typing a response and ordering another bottle.  She ignored the bartender’s protests she had enough and poured two fingers into a glass, setting it across from her.  The abrupt change in the bar’s atmosphere let her know Zaeed had arrived.

He was an imposing picture.  Apparently fresh off the transport, he hadn’t changed from his armor.  His eyes racked across her and for the first time she realized how much the last year had changed her.  Ella had never been soft exactly, but her figured had tightened and trimmed.  The long purple tank and black jeans clung to her skin.  Paired with the black leather jacket and knee high riding boots, she was theoretically covered up to her neck, yet she felt oddly exposed to his gaze.

With a nod to the bartender, he sat across from her and threw back the whiskey.  “Been awhile sweetheart.  You miss me?”

“Everyday Massani.  Don’t know how I survived without seeing you.”  Her overly sarcastic delivery drew a grin from him. 

“Good to know.”  He poured both of them another drink and cocked his head when she threw it back without a second thought.  “Trying to forget something?”

“And what would give you that idea?”  He motioned to the empty bottles on the table.  Ella sighed and settled deeper in the chair, her hat tipping forward, so it covered her eyes.  She didn’t answer until he shifted impatiently in his seat.  “Did I trade one gang for another?  Am I destined to always be a cog in someone else’s battle?”

“Where the bloody hell did you get that idea?”

She leaned forward and pushed the hat back.  “On the street I followed orders and did what they asked.  In return, they fed and clothed me.  Am I doing anything different now?”  She didn’t want to admit to herself that Vido’s words preyed on thoughts she already had.

“Look sweetheart, I can’t tell you what to do, but I know what you’re doing now is a hellva lot better than being a merc or in a street gang.”

Ella sighed and threw back another shot.  He pulled the bottle away and took a drink from it.  “You’re so bloody drunk you probably won’t remember this conversation in the morning.”

She shot him a sloppy grin.  “I don’t know about that.  I usually remember conversations with you long after they’re done.” 

Zaeed muttered something that sounded like “bloody tease,” under his breath as he stood and pulled Ella to her feet.  “You need to sleep this off, seeing as you ship out tomorrow sweetheart.”  He went to wrap an arm around her waist when she pulled away.

“I’m not that drunk Massani.  I can walk by myself.  Besides, you smell like sweat and blood.  It reminds me. . .”  She trailed off.  Ella was almost certain Zaeed didn’t know she had been there the night he was shot in the alley and planned to keep it that way.

“Reminds you of what?” 

“Nights I want to forget.”  She headed towards the door, effectively cutting off his next question.  Zaeed kept pace with her, their arms occasionally bumping as he told her about his last bounty; a turian smuggler who pissed off the wrong asari.  He followed her up to the room Ella had called home the past two weeks.  Her bags were already packed.

Ella flopped down on the bed and pulled at her boots.  She pulled one knee towards her chest to unzip a boot and toss it towards her bag.  Zaeed muttered something under his breath as she finished the second one and scooted up the bed.  “Sweetheart, you can’t sleep in that.”

“Says who?”

Not answering, he covered the distance between them and pulled her upper body off the bed.  He pulled the leather jacket off and threw it behind him.  Without thinking, Ella wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him closer.  Her lips met his in a surprisingly gentle motion.  Zaeed’s arms slid around her back, anchoring her to him.  Ella’s lips parted under his, a silent invitation to continue.  Tongues dueled, tasted, and explored until they were both breathless.

Ella moaned in disappointment when he pulled away.  His forehead dropped to hers as he lowered her back on the bed.  “I am not doing this when you’re bloody drunk Ella.”  His hands tightened around her once before letting go.

“Okay.  Yeah.  I get that.”  He began to move away from the bed when she caught his hand.  “Stay.” Ella cut him off before he could argue.  “I mean to sleep.  Go shower and come sleep next to me.”  Her eyes pleaded with him and she knew the moment he caved.

“Fine you bloody manipulative woman.  Now go to sleep.” 

Ella curled up on her side and listened to him rummage around in the bathroom.  The running water lulled her towards sleep, but it wasn’t until he settled in next to her that she fully relaxed. 

Zaeed woke the next morning to an empty bed.  Ella’s bags were gone and so was she.  A check of the time confirmed that her transport had probably already left.  He cursed under his breath.  His plan had been to see her off since she had no one else with Hackett stationed on Arcturus. 

He found a note tacked to the bathroom mirror.

_Zaeed,_

_You looked, and sounded, like you needed the sleep._

_Thanks for staying last night.  Maybe we can do it again next_

_time I’m on leave.  I’ll be in touch._

_~Ella_


	5. Chapter 5

It was supposed to be an easy goddamn bounty on some backwater colony.  The bounty having information on Vido was an added bonus.  His employers forgot to mention that the damn Alliance was after the same guy; and that the mercs had a base on said backwater colony.   After nearly a week of surveillance, he had the mark’s routine mapped out and the Alliance’s.  Just as he went in to capture the bastard, a bloody shuttle dropped a team of soldiers off.  So Zaeed found himself in an odd, three-way battle, trying to dodge bullets from both sides.

He watched his bounty go down in a hail of bullets and, since it was no longer his fight, decided to retreat from the battle.  A well placed sniper shot would have ended his retreat permanently if a biotic push hadn’t sent him flying to the ground.  He sent a silent thank you to the soldier who obviously didn’t listen to order as he began a low retreat.  Zaeed could hear the aggravated yells of a squad leader, even over the din of the fight as he crawled away. 

Showered and dressed in civvies, he watched the military shuttles land outside the small colony from the room he had rented.  None of the captured men were Vido unfortunately.  It would’ve made his life a lot bloody easier.  He was halfway through a meal when his ‘tool beeped.

_E.S.- I need to fucking talk to you._

_Z.M.- Ella?  What’s wrong sweetheart?_

_E.S.- Don’t you dare sweetheart me._

_Z.M.- What did I do?_

_E.S.-Oh, you’ve done plenty.  Now where are you?_

_Z.M.- I’m goddamn eating a meal on a backwater colony .  It’s been a fucking long day for me sweetheart._

“Oh, it could’ve been a helluva lot worse Massani.  Let me tell you.”

He turned in the chair and found a very pissed off Ella standing behind him.  Zaeed opened his mouth to respond, but her glare cut him off. 

“Not here.  I’m giving you fair warning a platoon of pissed off soldiers is about five minutes away.  Seeing as I have a double shift now thanks to what happened earlier, I won’t be staying.”

“When’s the shift bloody done?”

“0100. I’ll send you coordinates where you can meet me.”  She grabbed a bag of take out from the bartender and disappeared out the back before the rest of her squad arrived.  Zaeed finished his meal and a few beers, listening to the murmur of the marines.  A thread of . . . something shot through him when he overheard one of the men discuss his chances with Private Shepard.  His first instinct was to bash the man’s face in, but that would lead to questions he didn’t want to answer along with troubles for Ella.   He reined his temper in and allowed himself to be pulled into an impromptu game of poker with the locals until right before meeting with Ella.

The prefab was so covered in overgrowth, he almost missed it.  Inside the air was fresh, instead of the expected staleness.  A few blankets spread out in a corner and low watt floodlights were the only signs Ella had been residing there.  Zaeed didn’t have to wait long for her to show. 

The door slid open and she walked in, her face carefully blank.  She stepped up towards him and shoved.  “What the hell are you doing here?  And in a fucking Blue Sun’s camp?”

“What the fuck do you think I do for a goddamn living?”

“Not with the mercs you don’t!”

“I wasn’t working with the goddamn Blue Suns.  I didn’t know there was a base here.  Your squad gunned down my bounty.”

“You should have left the minute you saw us Zaeed!”

“Why?  Because I can predict where the bloody alliance is going to show up now?”

She stalked away from him, pacing along the edge of the prefab, grumbling under her breath.  She whirled on him, poking him in the chest.  “You nearly got killed you stupid fucker.  If I hadn’t realized it was you, you’d be dead.”

He grabbed her wrist.  “Don’t fucking poke me.  I’m not bloody apologizing for doing my job.  You know what it is I do and if you don’t like it, you can fuck off sweetheart.”

Her biotics flared momentarily before Ella calmed and poked at him with her free hand.  “I know what you do.  I don’t want you to be stupid about it you idiot.”

Zaeed crowded her against the prefab’s wall and grabbed her other hand, trapping them between their bodies.  “I’m not a bloody idiot Ella.  I’ve been doing this a long goddamn time.  I can watch out for myself.”

“Apparently not all the time.  I’ve got double rotations while we’re planet side after my stunt to save your ass.”

The offhanded comment of the marine back at the hotel drifted through his head.  “That a problem?  Seems you made yourself a cozy little nest in here.  Bet it gets lonesome by yourself.”

Ella leaned back to grin at him.  “What?  Think this is my love nest where I sneak off for an illicit rendezvous with another marine?”

“You said it, not me.”  He took a risk and switched her two hands into his one.  The free hand settled on her collarbone and he felt her pulse jump.

“This is a place I don’t have to share.  At least for a few days.  Don’t get really have that on a ship.  The requisitions officer worked with my recruit class.  He’s a good guy.”

“You have a thing for good guy’s Shepard?”  Zaeed’s head lowered towards her, pausing just before their lips met. “Or do you prefer something else?”

Ella tilted her head slightly and initiated contact.  Frustration and fear morphed into lust faster than either expected.  Zaeed’s tongue traced the seam of her lips and they parted under him.  His hand released her wrists to pull her closer while the other cupped her neck.  Hers curled around his shoulders, pressing them together from hip to chest.  The kiss deepened, only breaking apart for Zaeed to place small biting kisses down her neck.  She arched below him, her hips coming in contact with the obvious bulge beneath his pants.  A whimper escaped her, drawing a dark chuckle from him.

“Come back to the hotel with me,” he demanded between kisses, his hand abandoning her hip to rake up her body and settled on her chest.

“I can’t,” she nearly whimpered.  “I have maybe half an hour before they realize I’m gone.  Here?”

He groaned against her neck.  “I’m not bloody fucking you on a pile of blankets on the floor the first time.  I’m going to take my goddamn time with you Ella.”

His words were like fire through her.  Her hands tightened against him.  “Please,” she nearly begged.

Zaeed cursed under his breath before he pulled his hands away from her.  He tore at the zipper of her fatigue pants, pushing them down her legs.  They let out matching groans as his fingers slid between skin and fabric to dip into her folds, thumb settled against her clit as he slipped first one, then a second finger inside of her.  “Goddamn Ella.  So fucking ready for me.”

Her hips arched towards him, urging him on.  Ella ground down as his fingers curled in her.  With a final swipe of his thumb, he pulled his hand away to tug her pants and panties down her legs and over her boots.  Zaeed dropped to his knees in front of her and pulled her thigh to rest on his shoulder.  He wrapped an arm around her leg and with a cocky smile directed at her; he lowered his head.  

Ella wasn’t loud necessarily, but she was vocal.  He enjoyed pulling gasps, strangled moans, and the occasional murmured “yes” and “fucks” from her as his tongue and fingers explored.  A nearly feral bolt of satisfaction shot through him when she shuddered and moaned while her body tightened and fluttered around his fingers.  Zaeed waited for her to relax before placing a small kiss to the inside of her thigh as he removed his fingers and stood.

He couldn’t contain his own groan when she grabbed his hand and licked her juices from his fingers.  A sated smile graced her face as she sucked his fingers and then he was her turn to go after his zipper.  Ella pushed his pants and briefs aside, encircling him in her grip.  She slipped her hand up and down his cock a few times and then pulled away.  He growled, but watched her hands slide down her body and dip in between her legs. 

Zaeed’s head dropped against her neck as Ella’s slick hand pumped up and down his cock.  Her thumb circled the head before it scrapped lightly down his length.  He groaned and thrust into her hand.  His head dropped to her neck as she searched out his sensitive spots.  His teeth nipped against her skin as he spurted into her hand. 

The two stood together while their breathing slowed.  Ella pushed him away lightly so she could clean herself up before righting her clothes.  Her clothes were barely on before Zaeed wrapped her arms around her, pulling her in for a brief, but intense kiss.  His hand squeezed her upper arms gently.  “Let me know the next time you have a goddamn shore leave sweetheart.”

“Probably won’t be awhile.  I think we’re only halfway through our deployment.”

“Don’t fucking care.  Let me know.”

“I will.”  She sighed.  “I need to go before they decide I’ve gone AWOL.”  Her hand rested on his scarred cheek momentarily.  “Be safe Zaeed, for me.  I nearly lost you once, I can’t do it again.”  Her eyes widened at the impulsive words, and she fled the prefab before he could respond.


	6. Chapter 6

Ella had been radio silent for nearly four months after their run in on the colony.  A hastily written message sent in the dead of night assured him she was fine, but had a classified mission thrown at her.  They hadn’t discussed her near confession that night, but Zaeed planned on chatting about it on her next shore leave. 

When ANN broke the news that a small group of marines had infiltrated and neutralized a company of soldiers’ station in the colony of Lixia that were suspected of going rogue, Zaeed knew exactly where Ella had been.  The group was selling prototype weapons and armors to merc groups and black market dealers.  While the marine’s identities were being kept classified, the group was led by a Lieutenant Anderson.

His messages to Ella continued to go unanswered.  Eventually, Hackett took pity on him and forwarded the time that Ella’s transport would be landing with a suggestion Zaeed meet her.  She was nearly past him before he realized it was her.  A forest green pea coat covered her from knee to neck while a cream colored hat kept the perpetual London drizzle from her head.  Her standard boots were a tan with a ridiculous heel.  It was a look he hadn’t seen in her before he thought, as he called out her name.

Her head whipped around and for the first time he saw the bloodshot eyes and exhaustion etched on her face.   “Zaeed.  What are you doing here?”

He pushed away from the wall.  “Figured if you wouldn’t answer my goddamn messages, I’d have to find you in person.  What hotel are you in sweetheart?”

“I’m not.  Hac- Steven has a spare bedroom I crash if I’m ever in town.”  She frowned as he followed her to the skycars.  “Are you coming with?”

“Finished my bounties early.  Figured I’d keep you company.”

Ella gave a hint of a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.  “I’m not on shore leave yet Massani.”

“Didn’t say you were.”  He spent the short ride to Hackett’s apartment distracting Ella with anecdotes about Jessie.  She had yet to see his infamous rifle, but most of his stories seemed to involve her.  The elevator ride up to the apartment was blessedly short.  Zaeed keyed his own code into the door, eliciting a raised eye from Ella.  He refused to answer and motioned her into the apartment. 

She peeled off her jacket and boots before disappearing down a hall.  A few minutes later Ella emerged in jeans and an alliance hoodie that was too big to be her own.  She grabbed a package sitting on counter and tossed it at him.  “Since you’re here, make yourself useful.”

He opened the box and pulled out the amp.  “Ella, why the hell do you need a new bloody amp?”

She shrugged.  “I may have pushed it a bit too far during my last battle.  I’ve had a helluva headache since they removed the last amp.”  She stepped in front of him, pulling her hair away from the exposed jack at the base of her skull.

Zaeed examined the small piece of metal and plastic in his hands.  “This isn’t alliance issue.”

“How do you know so much about amps?”

“Ella.”

“Zaeed.” 

“Talk to me sweetheart.”  He slid the amp into place and watched the tension in her shoulders ease.  His hands trailed down her neck to settle on her shoulders and began kneading the muscles.

She leaned back against his hands.  “This is my job right?  And my biotics are a weapon I use.  So why not use the best I can?  Maybe I won’t burn through this one.”  She pulled away from him and turned.  Her gaze was still guarded.  “As much as I’d love for you to seduce me, what I really need is to sleep off the headache and the painkillers.”

“I’m not that much of a bastard sweetheart.  Besides, Hackett’s apartment doesn’t bloody inspire me.”

She managed her first real smile since landing.  “Then I guess we’ll have to find something that does.” 

His hands tangled in her hair as he pulled her close.  “Sleep first sweetheart.”

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his scarred cheek.  “Will you stay?” she murmured against his skin.  “At least until Steven gets back?”

“Of course.”  Ella pulled him onto the couch with her, and she curled up next to him.  His fingers ran across her scalp, lulling her into relaxing.  “Sweetheart?”

“Mmmmm?”

“Why are you afraid to lose me ‘again’?  I don’t bloody remember you losing me in the first place.”  The question had been eating at him for months.

 “Chalk it up to poor word choice after watching you nearly get gunned down.”

“You sure that’s all?”  His voice was laced with doubt. 

“Positive.  Now shut up so I can sleep.”  Ella had no intention of discussing the night she found him in the alley.  At least, not anytime soon.

Zaeed found a vid to watch as she drifted off to sleep.  She stretched and twisted in her sleep until her head rested in his lap.  He shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

Hackett found them in the same position a few hours later, Zaeed working on his omni tool instead of watching the vid on screen.  “Massani.”

Zaeed twisted to face him.  “Steven.”

“When I suggested you meet Ella, I didn’t mean . . . this.”

“Not like we’re naked rolling around on your couch.”

Hackett flinched, and then glared at his friend.  “I didn’t need that visual.”

“Too bloody bad.”  The two men stared at each other a moment.  “Is there a reason you’re staring a hole in my goddamn head?”

“I’ve never thought I’d see you . . . cuddle.”

“We’re not bloody cuddling.  She was fucking exhausted.”

“I get it.  What I don’t get is what she means to you.”

Zaeed scowled.  “Are you goddamn asking my _intentions_ towards her?”

“Do I need to?”

“Bloody hell.  We’re not fucking teenagers.”

Ella’s eyes fluttered opened as she stretched, quieting both men.  Hackett knelt beside the couch as she sat up and stretched.  She eyed the two men suspiciously.  “Did I interrupt something?”

“No sweetheart.  We were just talking.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you’re naturally suspicious.”  He brushed a hand against her cheek.  “I need to take care of a few things.  When does your shore leave start?”

“Two days.  _Someone_ volunteered me to escort him to some gala after tomorrow’s speeches and awards.”

“Well, he’s a bloody bastard.  Forget him.”

“I _am_ right here,” Hackett interjected as Ella began to laugh.  He frowned when Zaeed dropped a casual kiss to her forehead and plucked his jacket off her shoulders.   They called their goodbyes and Ella curled up under the oversized hoodie.  “Hungry?”

“I’m always hungry Steven.”

“I ordered noodles and there’s hot sauce in the fridge.”

“Beer?”

“It’s noon,” he pointed out.

“Yes.  And I’m going shopping for a dress at two.  I believe a beer is needed before that.”  She grinned and untangled herself from the hoodie.  The two set the table and chatted about everything not related to her last assignment.  She waited until food arrived and was dished before questioning him.

“So, isn’t having me attend tomorrow’s shindig a bit taboo?  Newly minted major escorting a newly minted service chief?”

Hackett colored slightly.  “That won’t be a problem anymore.”

His tone made her wary.  “Oh? And why is that Steven?”

“I was asked to reassess my alliance paperwork with this promotion.  Previous to this I had no next of kin listed so everything went back to the alliance.  I changed that.  You’re now listed as my beneficiary under ‘family, not otherwise specified.’”

Ella stared at him, then her plate, before taking a deep breath.  “Now I do need that beer,” she muttered to herself.  “Why would you do that?” she asked.

Food forgotten, he leaned towards her.  “Because if I had my way, you wouldn’t have stayed in that orphanage eight years ago.  I tried, in fact, to adopt you then, but I was a single, ranked, military officer who served on warships.  Your caseworker wouldn’t even consider it.”

“Why me?”

“Do you remember what we talked about on the ride back to the orphanage?”

“Not really.  I was more worried about getting in trouble.”

“First you told me you didn’t talk to uniforms and sat there in silence for about five minutes before asking what the stars were like since you had never seen one yourself.  When I asked why not, you told me the city lights were too bright, so you couldn’t see them from the home.”

“Then you suggested I join the alliance when I got old enough.”  Ella’s eyes were suspiciously damp.

“And you laughed at me and said kids like you don’t get that chance.”  He covered her wrist with his hand.  “I was that kid.  I was on my way to an orphanage at twelve.  I got that chance and wanted to pass it along to someone who obviously deserved it.  But I couldn’t, so I did what I could.  I tried to check in as unobtrusively as possible.  The night you ran away was one of the worst I can remember.”

Ella couldn’t meet his gaze.  She lightly tugged away from his grasp as she stood.  “I . . . I need to process this.  Give me some time?”

He leaned back in his chair and sighed. “Of course.  Tell Marshall I say hello.”

“I will.”  She paused at the door and turned back towards him.  “I’ll be back later.  You’ll be here?”

He smiled.  “If I’m not, I’ll let you know.”


	7. Chapter 7

Three hours of speeches and awards gave Ella too much time to think.  As an Admiral droned on about service to the alliance, she mulled over her conversation with Hackett, again.  By the time she had returned to the apartment last night, he had been called away for an emergency meeting.  This morning they had been too rushed to have an actual conversation.

So she sat and listened to speeches while Steven’s words echoed in her head and a note delivered while she was away burned in her pocket.  It was hand written and had been nestled between packages that couldn’t be delivered while she was on the mission.  The letter was short and Ella already had it memorized.

_Little One,_

_It was a surprise to see you on Lixia._

_You were so adamant you weren’t one of us._

_I hope you’ll be in contact soon._

_We’re willing to welcome you back with open arms._

_~V_

Vido’s letter warred with Steven’s words.  Ella had been fighting her past from the moment she entered Steven’s office nearly two years before.  Every time she thought she had escaped, something pulled her back towards the gangs of her past.  Even Anderson’s recruitment had happened because of her previous gang connections.

A light cuff on the shoulder brought her back to the present.  She scowled at the newly promoted 2nd Lieutenant Lincoln Marshall “What the hell was that for Linc?”  Her tone was only slightly irritated.

“Ceremony’s over doll and you’re sitting here scowling at empty chairs.  What’s going on?”

“Can’t a girl sit and scowl in peace?  Maybe I’m dreading pouring myself into that dress later today.”

“Later today?  Oh, no.  You’re getting ready now darling.”

“Oh, please never call me that again.”

“Yeah, it really doesn’t work.”  He pulled Ella to her feet and tucked her arm through his.  “Come on now, you have a gala to prepare for.”

“I really hate you Linc.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do.  Who’s going to quench my need for chocolate ration bars now that you've been promoted?”

“You’ll just have to woo the new requisitions officer like you did me.  Or go to the store.  I know you’re going to be stationed on Arcturus next.”

She waved a hand dismissively at him as the piled into a waiting transport.  “Details.” 

“Details are important doll.  Like where you plan on living.”

She shrugged.  “Temporary housing, like usual.”

“Not this time.  This time you will split the cost of an apartment with me.”

“Why would I sign up for such torture?  And isn’t it frowned upon seeing as you’re an officer?”

“I see your mouth moving, but hear nothing but agreements coming from it.”

“Asshole.”

“You love it.  I’ll send you the info before you get there.”

“I didn’t say yes!”

“But you will.”

Ella turned down his help getting ready and promised to meet him at 1800 hours since Hackett was busy with preparations.  Pushing her troubled thoughts aside, she bathed and wrestled her hair into a side swept curls.  It had been years since she had done anything other than a simple bun or ponytail, but Ella was pleased to see she still had the skills to accomplish it.  A careful swipe of makeup and she wiggled into the royal blue sheath and heels.  With a last glance in a mirror, she headed to the gala. 

A low whistle caught her attention as she approached the door.  Linc grinned at her wolfishly.  “God damn you look good.”

“You better think so, you picked it out.”

He captured her hand and kissed her knuckles.  “Well then I did a damn fine job.  I’m sure you’ll have plenty of company tonight.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.  Not that you’d want too.  And you know my feeling on dating in the ranks.”

“Who said anything about dating?  I’m talking about finding someone to warm the sheets with.”

She swatted his arm as they entered the ballroom.  “I don’t discuss my sex life with you.”

“Pity.”

She and Lincoln parted when Steven finally joined them.  As Ella let him guide her around the room, she watched and listened as conversed with other officials.  Warmth and pride seemed to radiate from him when he spoke to, and about, her.  After nearly an hour, she pulled him out onto a balcony for a moment of privacy. 

“So . . . what changes?” she asked.

“Excuse me?”

“With me listed as family, what changes?”

“Not much.  If I pass away, you receive my military benefits.  I can’t directly supervise you on missions and promotions can’t be initiated or approved by me.  You don’t have to hide the fact you sleep in the spare bedroom when you come to London.  ”

She bumped his shoulder with hers.  “I wish you would have asked first, but I get why.”

Steven wrapped an arm around her shoulders.  “So you’re okay with it?”

“Yeah I am.”  His hand squeezed her shoulder gently before letting go.  “I’m proud of you Ella.  You’ve done well these past two years.”

She smiled.  “Thank you Steven.”

Ella declined to return to the gala with him.  The balcony, while cool and a bit damp, was at least quiet. She, politely, refused the company of a few lower ranked officers who wandered out for fresh air.  Eventually the cold seeped through the thin material of her dress.  Ella was about to return to the ballroom when a rather well-cut suit jacket settled across her shoulders.  Only the faint scent of gun oil and cigars kept her from shrugging it off. 

“Why the hell are you standing out here freezing your ass off?”

Her response died on her tongue when she turned to face him.  Even without the jacket, the charcoal grey tux fit perfectly.  Ella fought the urge to run a hand down his chest.

“See something you like sweetheart?”    

Her smile was pure sin.  “And if I do?”

Zaeed crowded her against the railing, his fingers twisting a curl of her hair.  “Then come upstairs with me.”

“I need to let Steven know I’m leaving.”

“Make it goddamn quick sweetheart.  I’ve been waiting nearly a bloody year.”

“But who’s counting?  Right?”

“Mouthy woman.”

“Wait until you see what it can do.”  With a wink Ella shrugged his jacket off and handed it back to him.  Zaeed’s hand settled on her lower back as they reentered the ballroom.  The subtle claim kept most of the younger officers out of their way.  His scowl deterred the rest as they made their way through the ballroom.  Steven’s gaze settled on the hand resting on Ella’s back. The two men stared at each other until she cleared her throat.  “Are we planning on staring at each other all night?  Because I can think of better things we can all do with our time.”

Zaeed snorted and Hackett sighed.  They separated with a promise to meet for lunch and a warning glare from Steven.  Zaeed pointedly ignored his friend as he and Ella made their way to the elevators in the lobby.  Linc caught her eye and sent her an approving smirk that had her eyes rolling.

The elevator doors had hardly closed before Zaeed had her pressed against the elevator wall.  His hands trailed down the bodice of her dress before bunching the soft skirt in his hands.  Ella grasped the lapels of his jacket and pulled him towards her for a desperate kiss.  He nipped her lower lip, demanding entrance.  Hers parted on a moan as she slid her hands up his chest and settled behind his neck. 

The ding of the elevator pulled them from their daze.  Without speaking, Zaeed entwined his hands with hers and led her towards his rooms.  Ella gave the small suite a cursory glance as she kicked off her heels and headed towards the bedroom.  She barely crossed the threshold when he pulled her back against him.  “I’ve waited a long goddamn time for this sweetheart,” he growled against her neck, hands trailing along her sides. 

His fingers sought out the zipper of her dress.  Ella let out a breath as it pooled around her feet, leaving her clad only in a lacy set of underwear.  She leaned back against him as calloused palms drug across her abdomen, down towards the thin band of her panties.  She twisted in his arms so she faced him.  “Someone’s overdressed.  I didn’t get to see you last time.”  Clever fingers worked the buttons on his jacket and pushed it down his arms.

“Let’s remedy that sweetheart.”  They quickly divested each other of their remaining clothes.  Ella traced his tattoos while he urged her towards the bed.  She pulled away with a wink and grin as she dropped to her knees.  She palmed his cock, tracing her thumb from tip to base.  Her hand encircled him and he thrust up into her hand.  After a few firm strokes, she paused and lowered her lips, slipping the head into the warmth of her mouth.  Her tongue teased the slit, collecting the salty liquid before she sucked down on him.  Her tongue traced patterns along his length until he growled and grasped her hair, holding her still as he began thrusting into her mouth.  She trailed her nails up and down his thighs before she reached between them to tease his balls.  Zaeed’s thrusts became erratic before he pulled out her mouth completely.

He pulled Ella to her feet, both out of breath.  “Not this goddamn time sweetheart.”  He placed a bruising kiss on her lips and pushed her back onto the bed.  She couldn’t help but fidget as his gaze raked across her body.  “So goddamn beautiful Ella.  I can’t wait to make you scream my name.”

His words were like match to tinder.  Zaeed settled over her and began exploring.  Hands traveled along her body, lips and nipping kisses following after.  His stubble rubbed across a sensitive nipple, pulling a low moan from her.  He chuckled and repeated it on the other one.  So lost in sensation, she missed his hands sliding down her body.

He parted her wet folds, searching out the places that made her whimper.  A firm pinch to her clit had Ella arching off the bed.  Two fingers slid easily into her pussy, setting a hard, demanding pace.  Zaeed abandoned her breasts to whisper filthy words of encouragement into her ear.  A third digit slid into her as his thumb began circling her clit.

Her nails raked down his back as she came with a low moan, her body tight around his fingers.  He waited until her tremors settled before he pulled his hand away.  Zaeed swallowed her moans with his lips as he slid into her.  He paused as her body adjusted around him, then began moving in her with short, controlled thrusts.  Ella bucked her hips towards him, urging him to move faster.  Her teeth settled on the curve of his neck, dragging along his skin.  He growled into her hair and began fucking her harder.  Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper as she moaned against his skin.  Her body shuddered as she came a second time. His hips stuttered as she tightened around his cock.  He came with a muttered curse, dropping his head against her neck. 

Zaeed collapsed onto his back, pulling Ella to rest on top of him.  She sprawled against his chest, listening as his breathing evened out.  His hand rubbed nonsensical patterns over her skin as her eyes drifted shut.  “Stay with me?” she murmured, half asleep.

“Of course I’ll stay.  It’s my bloody hotel room.”  His grip tightened as she shifted to find a comfortable spot.  “Hey sweetheart?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re gonna have one helluva shore leave.”


	8. Chapter 8

When Zaeed received intel that Vido was sniffing around Arcturus, he wasn’t quite sure why it had him so concerned.  Ella was a marine could take care of herself.  Not to mention she was surrounded by other military personnel.  That didn’t stop him from handing a rather lucrative bounty over to an associate and taking the first available transport to the station.  He spent two days searching the seedier underbelly of the station before he was certain Vido hadn’t been near her.      

He was preparing to message her when a slightly ridiculous blue fedora perched on top of coppered colored hair caught his attention. She bought the hat on her last shore leave.   One he couldn’t spend with her.  Dark jeans and a black and white swirled shirt meant she was off duty.  He stuck to the shadows as he trailed behind Ella and the other man.  Her arm was intertwined with his.  A coil of jealousy wound through Zaeed when he thought of her spending it with the unnamed man.

It intensified when Zaeed realized he had seen the two together before.  The younger man had initially escorted Ella to the gala months before.  He had watched the two split almost immediately, but Zaeed noticed the way the man’s eyes followed her around the room.  The two moved through Arcturus swiftly, in and out of a few stores, both carrying bags.  He followed behind the two, impatiently waiting for them to separate.  When they arrived at an apartment and both entered, he had to stop himself from grabbing Ella and throwing her over his shoulder.  He figured neither of them would enjoy answering those questions. 

He was contemplating hacking the door when it opened and the other man strode out.  Zaeed watched him turn a corner before he approached and bypassed the rather flimsy security.  The apartment was small, decorated in dark woods and creams.  He scowled at the sight of Ella’s favorite boots sitting next to a man’s pair of dress shoes. 

“I know you’re good Lincoln, but you can’t make it back quite that fast.”  

Zaeed followed the sound of her voice into the kitchen.  She stood barefoot, back to him, chopping vegetables.  He admired the sight a moment before responding.  “Wrong godamn man sweetheart.”  The knife paused mid slice before it dropped to the board.  Ella spun to look at him.  His jealousy and frustration morphed quickly into lust.

“Much later, we’re going to discuss why you’re here and exactly how you got in.”  She was on him in moments.  His leather jacket pushed off his shoulders onto the floor and her legs wrapped around him.  His arms banded around her as she swooped down to a rough kiss.  She nipped along his jaw and neck as his hands found their way under her shirt.  Ella pulled away long enough for him to lift the shirt over her head.  “Second door on the right,” she whispered against his ear.  His hands slid to her ass as he carried her into the room. 

Zaeed spun them, her back pressed against the door.  His hands kneaded her ass, making her arch against him.  Ella pushed at his shoulders until he stepped back, giving her room to untangle her legs and stand.  She yanked his shirt off and went after the zipper of his jeans.  Zaeed pushed her hands away.  “Impatient sweet Ella?”

“Shut the hell up Massani and get naked.”

“Bossy bitch.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”  Ella flicked the clasp of her bra, letting it drop to the floor.  They both removed their jeans.  As Zaeed reached for her, her biotics flared and he found himself pushed backwards onto the bed.  She straddled him, pinning his arms above his head.  Ella placed small, biting kisses meant to mark him across his skin as she trailed down his body.  She slid her pussy against his cock, the head dragging across her clit repeatedly.  He groaned out her name, making her smile.

His hands tensed under hers as she finally slid down his length.  She began to roll her hips above him when a knock on the door broke the silence of the room.

“Go away Linc!”

“But-”

“I will castrate you if you don’t go the fuck away.”

“Okay, okay!”

Zaeed used her distraction to pull his hands away from hers.  One hand settled on her hips, the other anchored on her neck as he began thrusting up into her.  Lips and tongue mimicked the movements of his cock until she was writhing on top of him.  He pulled her down hard onto his cock until she came with a cry.

He rolled, pulling her under him.  This time his hands pinned hers to the bed.  Her ankles hooked behind his thighs as he picked up speed.  Ella’s hips arched up off the bed to meet him.  He reveled in the small hitches of breath and whimpers he pulled from her.  His forehead fell against hers.  “I don’t fucking share sweetheart,” he growled as her body tightened around him a second time, finally coaxing his own release from him.

He rolled them again, so they both lay on their sides facing each other.  His hands tangled in her hair as he pulled her close for another kiss.

“Zaeed?”

“Hmmm?”

“What do you mean ‘you don’t share’?”

He pulled away with a slight scowl, his earlier jealousy flaring.  “I saw you with that whelp from the gala.”

Ella sat up and stared at him.  “Saw me?  Were you following me?  How long have you been on the station?”

“Long enough to see you with another bloody man.”

Her hand slapped against his chest.  “Listen here Massani.  You don’t get to _tell_ me what I can and cannot do.  We’ve spent a few of my shore leaves together sharing some very mutually satisfying orgasms.  There was never discussion of commitment.  And even if there was, I wouldn’t stop spending time with the people I care about.  I don’t _belong_ to you.”

She hopped from the bed and headed towards the bathroom.  He stood to follow and found himself unable to move.  “Goddamnit Ella.  Where did you learn that?”

“None of your fucking business.”  She disappeared through the door.  The stasis field was weak and only held a few minutes.  He stormed into the bathroom and had her pinned against the shower wall. 

“You want goddamn words?  I haven’t been with another bloody person since that night on the colony.  It’s you I think about at the end of a long goddamn day and you who I keep coming back to.  Just because I want you to be mine doesn’t mean I want to goddamn own you.”

She pushed the damp hair off her face.  “Explain why you didn’t tell me you were here.” 

He saw the hurt in her eyes and sighed.  His hands gentled on her.  “I got intel that the bastard who shot me was somewhere on the station.  I couldn’t risk letting him know about you.  I wasn’t going to make you a target.”

“I’m not helpless Zaeed.  You could have told me.”

“I’m not bloody risking you Ella.”

“You are a hard headed bastard.  And for the record, there hasn’t been anyone except you since that night in Ireland.”

“Is that right?”

“Don’t let it go to your head.  Are we done fighting now?”

“I bloody well am.  And Ella?  I don’t plan for there to be anyone with me but you.”

“The feelings mutual Massani.”

“Good to know sweetheart.  Can we move on to the part where we make up?”   His hands slid down her body.

“I believe we can.”

The two stayed in the shower apologizing to each other until the water ran cold.  They dried each other off and got dressed.  Zaeed frowned at the oversized alliance hoodie she was wearing.  They had just wandered into the kitchen when an irritated voice called out from behind them.

“What did I tell you about stealing my clothes doll?”  Zaeed turned to find the still unnamed man standing in the doorway.  The two eyed each other before the stranger let out a low whistle.  “Is he why you keep refusing to let me set you up with a nice officer?  Because if he is, I completely approve.”

Ella let out a snort.  “You have horrid taste in men.”

“I wouldn’t say that.  Strong and silent over there definitely seems my type.”

“I saw him first Linc.”  She popped open three beers.

“But I can be so persuasive.”

“What the bloody hell is going on?” Zaeed interjected. 

“Zaeed, meet Lieutenant Lincoln Marshall, general pain in the ass and my roommate. Linc, this is Zaeed Massani.”

“Don’t give the man the wrong idea doll.”  Linc grinned at confused man.  “I’m perfectly charming when given the right motivation.  Want to motivate me?”

Zaeed eyed Ella, then Linc, realization finally dawning.  “I was a bloody idiot wasn’t I sweetheart?”

She handed him a beer with a kiss and a laugh.  “Yes you were.  It’s okay though.  I forgive you.  And stop flirting with him Linc.”

“You never let me have any fun.  Why don’t you go order some food while strong and silent and I have a little talk.”

She eyed both men.  “If you two destroy my apartment, I will kill both of you.”  She brushed a kiss against Zaeed’s cheek before heading to the terminal in the living room.

With Ella distracted, Linc pointed at Zaeed with his beer bottle, eyes no longer bright with humor.  “You hurt her, I will come after you,” he promised.

Zaeed met his gaze.  “Not planning on it.”

“Good.  I’d hate to kill such a pretty man, but I’d do it for her.”

He watched Ella move around the living room.  “You’re not the only who would.”


	9. Chapter 9

Elysium was supposed to be a relaxing shore leave to celebrate her promotion to 2nd Lieutenant.  A few days with other biotics from her recruit class followed by two weeks alone with Zaeed in a hotel room.  Thirteen hours after the class arrived, the slavers and pirates landed.  Ella found herself in the position of directing not only the few marines they found on shore leave, but directing the civilians as well.

An emergency hail to Arcturus let her know the nearest fleet was nearly two days away.  She sent a quick warning to both Hackett and Zaeed before turning her attention towards the battle raging outside.  Within hours she had a rotation of marines, biotics, and civilians defending the colony’s main entry points and shuttle docks.  Others were tasked with finding ammunition and supplies that could be used as improvised weapons. 

For thirteen hours she gave orders, rallied flagging moral, and took her turn on lookouts.  As a vanguard she was used to close quarters combat and being pinned behind crates and blockades chafed.  Her long distance biotics were passable, but caused more strain on her concentration and amp.  Seventeen hours in she felt the familiar jolt and burn as the amp overheated. 

She was nearly a day into the siege when a set of black and yellow armor and blue eyes settled in front of her.  Ella spared him a passing glance before tossing a group of pirates back with her biotics.  “Did you not get my message about the roving band of pirates?”

“Did you bloody think I was going to leave you here alone?” he retorted.

“I’m a big girl Zaeed.  They gave me my own weapon and everything.”

“I’m sure they figured you’d put on your armor before going after pirates.”

She glanced at the once pristine white jeans and embroidered peasant top.  “Shore leave remember?  Not all of us wear armor like a fashion statement hotshot.”

“Goddamn mouthy bitch.  You need to take a break.”

“Sure.  Let me just ask the bad guys to hold off for a bit so we can get some sleep.”

Zaeed grabbed Ella’s shoulders and pulled her around to face him.  “Someone else can watch the wall for thirty minutes while you eat something and catch your goddamn breath Shepard.”

“I’m fine Massani.”

“Call in a bloody replacement before I throw you over a shoulder and cuff you to a post until this is goddamn over.  You’re no fucking help to any of us worn out.”

Ella knew he was right.  The marines she had been covering for kept trying to get her to take a break and she brushed them off.  She reluctantly radioed a replacement and stepped away from the barricade.  Zaeed followed her to the hastily constructed operations base.  He shoved a plate of food at her with a scowl and set to examining her armor and weapons.  Ella hissed as his hand brushed her jack.  He pushed her hair away.  “Did you burn out another goddamn amp?”

“Long range biotics aren’t my strength.  I put it under too much strain, it happens.”  She batted his hands away from her neck.  “How did you get here exactly?”

“Stole a shuttle and flew in low.  Dropped your name and Hackett’s and they let me land.  The stash of ammunition helped sweeten the deal a bit.”

“So the words ‘stay away’ actually mean fly in with a stolen shuttle and ammo?  Good to know for future reference.”  She pushed away the empty plate and leaned her head back, taking a moment to close her eyes.  “I’m not sure we can hold out one more day.  With more marines, maybe, but I’ve got a handful of those and luckily some asari with basic biotic training.”

“Fifth fleet will be here before nightfall sweetheart.  Did you really think that _Rear Admiral Hackett_ and Captain Anderson were going to leave you alone down here either?”

“I honestly didn’t know.  I barely got the messages off to you and Steven before they started jamming our signals.”  She pushed out of the chair with a groan.  “I need to get back on the wall.”

He sighed and fell in beside her.  “Sweetheart, when are you going to learn you’re not alone anymore?”

Her response was cut off by the wall beside her exploding.  Ella managed to throw up a barrier that protected her from most of the debris.  She flipped onto her back, ignoring the pain shooting through her head and tossed back the slavers attempting to enter the gaping hole.  Zaeed had hauled himself back to his feet, deadly determination evident on his face.  “Hey Massani!”  She waited until his attention was on her.  “Want some target practice?”  Ella used her biotics to lift, and then throw a fuel canister.  A single shot from his Avenger had the canister exploding in the faces of the oncoming forces. 

The two worked in tandem for nearly two hours, Ella using her biotics to throw a canister, while Zaeed shot them.  The tactic provided lethal ground coverage that had the enemy force falling back far enough the breach could be patched successfully.  With a groan, she collapsed against the wall and let a field medic coat her wound with medigel.  The asari had just finished treating the gash when a cheer sounded on the far side of the colony.  A voice over Ella’s radio announced that the Alliance had finally landed and the pirates and slavers were retreating off planet.

Her omnitool chimed as Zaeed sat next to her.

_S.H.- What’s your location Lieutenant?_

_E.S.- 100 yards or so away from the main landing pad, against the outer wall.  Near the giant patched hole.  You can’t miss it._

_S.H.- Giant patched hole?_

_E.S.- There might have been an explosion._

_S.H.- Do you need a medic?_

_E.S.- Asari field doc patched me up.  I’ll be fine._

_S.H.- Not good enough Shepard.  Meet me at the landing pad.  I have a medical shuttle en route._

“Don’t try to bloody argue sweetheart.  He’s using his Admiral’s voice.  I can hear it through the damn messages.”

“But the wall is so comfortable.  Do you think he’d come to me?”

Zaeed muttered something under his breath before hauling Ella to her feet.  He traced the gash that ran from mid forehead to temple.  “You’re gonna have one hullva scar Ella.”

“It’s not my first and it probably won’t be my last.”

His lips pressed against her forehead and pulled her into a gentle embrace, oblivious to anyone around them.  “C’mon sweetheart, you need to go let the brass know what a big goddamn hero you are.”

“You’re not going with?”

“The alliance and I have an agreement.  I stay out of their way, they stay out of mine.”

She nodded in understanding.  Having Zaeed’s name show up in official reports wouldn’t look good for either him or the alliance.   “I have a feeling my shore leave’s been canceled.  And I had such high hopes for the hotel room too.”

Zaeed laughed at her grumblings.  “There’ll be other hotel rooms sweetheart.  Next shore leave, there’ll more rolling around in bed, less shooting and explosions.”

“Holding you to that.”  She pushed away from him with a wince.  “I shouldn’t keep the admiral waiting.”  Ella gave his hand one last squeeze before stepping away.  He disappeared into the crowds as she made her way towards Hackett and Anderson.

The admiral was waiting outside the med shuttle when she finally limped her way to the landing bay.  With the battle and adrenaline crashing, her various aches and bruises from the explosion were setting in.  Ella managed a smart salute before Hackett waved her into the small shuttle.

He waited while the field doctor poked and prodded, eventually determining she had a mild concussion to go along with the shorted out amp.  A line of stitches and medigel closed up the gash on her forehead.  She handed Ella painkillers and a warning to take it easy until her port, and brain, healed.  The shuttle doors closed behind the doctor, leaving them in private.

“I’ll have my report to you within a few hours Admiral.”

“No I won’t Shepard.  You’re taking 18 hours to eat, sleep, and heal.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve already received preliminary reports from multiple marines on site.  I know you’ve barely eaten and haven’t slept since this started.  Which we will also discuss.”

“By multiple marines do you mean Zaeed?”

“I did also receive communications from civilians on site.”

“You two are the biggest damn gossips.”

“Ella.” He pulled her into an unexpected, but not unwelcome, hug.  “You scared me kid.”

Her good cheek rested against his shoulder.  “I’m a marine Steven.  I’m put in dangerous situations.”

His laugh rumbled through them.  “Usually you’re equipped with more than an off duty pistol and biotics.”

Steven rubbed her arms briskly.  “Eighteen hours Ella.  Go back to your hotel to eat and sleep.  You, David, and I will meet tomorrow to review reports and you can fill in holes.”

“Is that an order?”

“Do I need to make it one?”

She grinned at the familiar banter.  “No sir, but I do have one question.”

“How did the fleet managed to cut nearly thirteen hours off of their ETA?”

“Being a rear admiral does have its perks.  I may have reminded certain people that as a human run, alien friendly colony, our reaction time would be judged by others.  It may have . . . sped the process up.”

“Well, the timing couldn’t have been better.”

Steven tracked down a ground transport to take her back to the hotel, citing her concussion.  Ella made it into her room and managed to wipe most of the grime and dust off with a wash cloth.  Her clothes went straight into the garbage and she didn’t waste energy putting on clean ones.  A few power bars quelled her hunger pains before she fell asleep in the dark room.


	10. Chapter 10

Ella woke to a wall of naked muscle behind her and a tattooed arm wrapped around her stomach.  A quick glance told her she had slept about nine hours.  She tried to slide out from under Zaeed’s arm.  “Too bloody early sweetheart,” he grumbled, pulling her back against him.  “Go back to sleep.”

“You know, I distinctly remember my bed being bounty hunter free when I fell asleep.”  Ella traced her fingers lazily over his tattoos.

“Are you complaining?”

“No.  Just wondering if you’re going to make this a habit?  Let yourself into wherever I’m calling home for the moment.”

“Will you wait for me naked if I say yes?”

“There is a possibility that would happen.”

“Then yes.”

“At least next time I’ll be warned.”  She pinched his arm.  “Will you let me up?”

“Like I said before sweetheart, too damn early.”

“I realize that, but I’m under orders to eat, sleep, and heal.  I’ve done the sleeping part, now I need to eat.  And possibly shower.”

Zaeed groaned.  “I’ll order some goddamn room service while you shower.  Make it quick so we can go back to the sleep portion of your orders.”

Ella made her way into the bathroom, her sore muscles protesting the entire way.  The warm pulses of water had her body feeling somewhat normal.  Zaeed slipped under the spray with her, his hands settling on her waist as he tugged her gently back against him.

“I believe you promised me food.”

“And you promised to be quick.  It’s been nearly thirty minutes sweetheart.  Food’s been delivered.”

“Yes, well, I couldn’t resist the siren’s song, so I stayed in the water.”

His hands slid up her body, mindful of the bruises along her side.  “Rest your arms against the wall sweetheart.”  She shifted beneath his hands as he began working the kinks and knots out of her muscles.  Her head dropped to rest against the cool tile, his hands working their way from her neck to the small of her back.  He traced the curve of her hip, one hand splayed across her stomach while the other dipped between her legs. 

Ella shifted restlessly as he teased and tormented.  Clever fingers stroked, but never touched where she wanted.  The pleas rolled off her tongue before Zaeed finally circled her clit.  He alternated between feather light touches and firm strokes over the small bundle of nerves.  She let out a muffled sob when he settled a finger over her and stroked.  Ella arched back against him as she came, his rough stubble dragging across her shoulder.  She sagged against his hand and the wall.  Zaeed’s lips trailed across her skin, as he turned her in his arms.  “So damn gorgeous sweetheart.  I love it when you fall apart for me.”  He helped Ella wrap her legs around him, her back resting against the wall.  His lips found hers as he positioned himself against her.  He slid into her with a long, slow stroke. 

Zaeed kept the pace languid.  For once, there was no impatience, no rush to completion.  Soft kisses were given between whispered words.  Gentle hands trailed over skin, always wary of bruises.  Ella’s second orgasm took both of them by surprise.  The tight clench of her body had him following quickly after.  They stayed entwined until the water ran cool.  Zaeed cleaned both of them with efficient swipes.  Ella snagged his oversized shirt to wear as he slid jeans back on. 

They ate in bed, Ella finishing off her plate and most of Zaeed’s.  He coaxed her into taking another dose of pain meds and reapplied medigel to her gash and the slightly blistered skin around her jack.  She pulled him back to bed, her head tucked under his chin.  Ella’s hand trailed over his scarred cheek.  “We’re gonna match,” she murmured groggily.  “Guess it makes sense you’re here.”

“Why’s that sweetheart?”

She frowned at him through the haze of pain meds and tapped his scar.  “I was there.  Saw it.  You saw mine.  We match.”

“What do you mean you were there?”

“In the alley.  I was there.  Took care of you, just like you took care of me.  Stay with me?”  Her eyes fluttered shut as she drifted to sleep.

His arms tightened around her while he mentally went through the police records.  The police’s secured files didn’t take much for a person to hack and Zaeed didn’t want to leave a trail.  He memorized them before they were erased completely from the database. 

He was listed as a John Doe.  The police had no leads on who shot him and chalked it up to gang violence.  Reports said a young woman had found him and had the police called, but when they went to interview her, she had disappeared.  The medics stated someone had applied medigel to his wounds, most likely saving his life.  At that point he chalked it up to dumb fucking luck, but after Ella’s drug induced confession, along with verbal slip the night on the colony, he had to rethink that.

Zaeed kept her snug against his body until the alarm on her omnitool chimed.  Ella’s head burrowed into his chest as she slapped at the offending noise.  He couldn’t stop his laugh from escaping as he silenced the alarm for her. 

“Mmmm, still tired.”

“I know sweetheart, but you need to make your report.”

“Tell Steven to go away.”

“Not gonna work.  And we need to talk.”

“Fine.  You talk while I get dressed.”  She stripped off his shirt, momentarily distracting him.  Ella was halfway dressed when she turned to him.  “Are you going to talk, or just stare at me?”

“You were awfully chatty before you fell asleep.”  He threw his shirt back on, ignoring the way it now smelled faintly of Ella’s soap.

“Oh?  What exactly did I have to say?”

“Something about how we match and it makes sense since you were there when my goddamn face got blown off.”  He watched her freeze halfway through lacing up her boots.  Ella stared at him, wariness and a hint of fear crossing her face.  “Got something you’d like to say sweetheart?  Or can you only tell the truth when you’re fucking high.”

She recoiled like Zaeed slapped her and she fought to keep her biotics from flaring.  “I did what I thought was right.”

“By goddamn lying to me for the last four years?”

“By keeping myself safe!  I watched them carry you off just praying you weren’t dead.  I had your blood all over me.  Do you know what they would have done with me if I waited with you?  A runaway teenage biotic?  They would have labeled me a slut and you a John.  I would’ve been in jail, or worse yet shipped off to Jump Zero.”

“That doesn’t explain why you lied ever since then Ella.”

She tugged a jacket on over her fatigues and tried to control the tremor in her voice.  “I spent three years wondering if you were even alive.  When I finally saw you again, all I felt was relief and I just . . . couldn’t bring myself to tell you.  It wasn’t a moment I wanted to re-live.  Then I was at boot camp and when I saw you in Ireland things were different.  I was different and I knew you didn’t remember that night.  I was selfish and didn’t want things to change.” 

A knock on the door was all the warning they had before Hackett and Anderson entered.  Steven’s eyes narrowed as he took in Zaeed’s scowl and Ella’s watery eyes.  “Are we interrupting something?”

“No sir.”  Ella’s too quick response had both officers staring at her.

“Not a goddamn thing,” Zaeed echoed.  “I’ll be going now.”  He shot Ella one last, indistinguishable look, before leaving the hotel room.  Steven glanced between her and the now closed door. 

“I’ll have my report to you in two hours sir.  Which, I believe is when we were originally supposed to meet.”

“Change of plans Shepard.”  Captain Anderson handed her a data pad.  “You’re being transferred.”

“Transferred?”  She glanced over the information in her hand.  “Rio?  Wait, N school?”

“Orders came down last night.  Apparently you’ve been a contender for a while now.  Your actions over the past two days sped the process up.” 

Ella stared at the two men with slight suspicion.  “Who exactly put my name forward?”

Hackett quirked an eyebrow.  “I forgot how suspicious you are Shepard.  Captain Fulbright made the initial request after your stint with him.  Two subsequent squad leaders also put your name forward.”

“I . . . thank you sir.  I guess I’ll need to return to Arcturus to get my things.”

“You’re assigned the last transport out.  Twenty four hours Shepard.”  Anderson headed for the doors.  “I still expect your report before you leave.  You did good out there kid.”  She sent him a faint smile as he left.

“Well that was unexpected.”  Ella tried, and failed, at a passable smile.

“What happened Ella?”

“Nothing.  Can we please not talk about it?”

“Just answer one thing for me.  Do I need to have a talk with Massani?”

“Please don’t.  He’s your friend and, honestly, this is something I screwed up.”

“Okay.  I won’t pry for now.  But if he screws up . . .” he let the implied threat hang in the air.

She let out a groan and buried her face in her hands.  “Is this part of the ‘you’re family now’ package?  Because I don’t remember it being explicitly stated that you’d threaten the men in my life.”

“Consider it an added bonus Ella.  It’s too late to back out now.”

She paused and looked up at him.  “I wouldn’t change it Steven,” she admitted.

“Good, because you’re stuck with me kid.”


	11. Chapter 11

Her initial N test did not go well.  The entire team passed by failing spectacularly.  They were supposed to clear a suspected mercenary base and secure any documents they may find.  What they found on their way to the base was a temporary slaver’s base filled with teenagers and young adults.  The team lead, a Lieutenant Tyrik Moran, had demanded they ignore the base and continue to their target.

Ella and a handful of other recruits refused and stayed to clear the slaver base.  Her small strike team managed to take out nearly fifty slavers and saved the lives of thirty children.  After a local marine force arrived on scene, they commandeered a vehicle and headed towards the original base.  Tyrik and his group were under heavy fire and nearly lost their lives.  As it was, all the documentation they were after had been destroyed.

Both Ella and Tyrik were chewed out for failure to communicate, collaborate, and follow orders.  It was another thing he now held against her.  Since the program started, Tyrik had a grudge against the redhead.  He implied the only reason Ella made it into the N program was that she was sleeping with Hackett.  He didn’t like her biotics and he didn’t like that she was a woman. 

So now she sat with a disturbingly full bottle of whiskey in front of her trying to ignore the pissed off, slightly drunk man.  “We would’ve passed with flying fucking colors had it not been for Hackett’s whore.”  Tyrik eyed her as if daring Ella to attack him.

“Moran, shut the hell up.  We passed, that’s all that mattered.”  Nina was the other female recruit and one of the few people Ella actually considered a friend.

“Of course you’d say that.  You two are thick as fucking thieves.”  Tyrik had taken offense early in training that Nina had turned down his advances.  “You stayed with her instead of following orders.  What CO is going to want you now?”

Ella’s temper snapped as she rounded on the man.  It was one thing to attack her, but another to go after those she cared about.  “What CO is going to want _you?_   You were willing to leave children behind to follow through on a stupid test.  Civilians come first always.”

Tyrik straightened, attempting to cow her with his height.  “We had our orders Shepard.   You fucking ignored them because no one can touch Hackett’s precious whore.”

Ella’s biotics flared as she prepared to push the man back.

“That’s _enough_ ,” a gruff, familiar voice sounded from behind her.  She whipped around and saluted, hands still bathed in blue.  Linc raised an eyebrow at her.  “At ease Shepard.”  He eyed Moran before addressing him.  “Lieutenant Moran, it’s usually good form to salute your new commanding officer.”

Ella bit back her smile as Tyrik blanched and snapped a salute.  Linc moved in; close enough that only she and her fellow recruit could hear him.  “I don’t know how things ran on your other rotations Moran, but let me be very clear.  I do not tolerate disrespect and I have no qualms giving any member of my crew grunt jobs, regardless of the position their uncle maintains with the council.”

“Yes sir, but, what about N2 training?”

“Do you really think your drill instructors missed the blatant disregard you had for both them and your fellow recruits throughout training?  It’s been decided you need a few more rotations before you’re considered for N2 training.”

Tyrik looked as if he had been gut punched.  Ella had forgotten the terror Linc could instill with a cold look and cutting words.  She’d never been on the receiving side, but even being on the periphery made her flinch.  Linc dismissed the man and turned to Ella.  “Shepard, I’ve been asked to escort you to your next rotation.  _Now.”_

“Yes, sir.”  She hurried to gather the few things she had with and tucked her hair under a soft brown fedora.  She tossed the nearly full bottle of alcohol to Nina and promised to keep in touch.  Ella followed Linc out of the bar and stayed at a respectful, military approved distance until they were a few blocks away.  Unable to wait, she pulled him into a dive bar and wrapped him up in a hug.  “Are you okay?  I didn’t find out until yesterday.”

“I’m fine doll.”

“Linc, this is me.  I know when you’re lying.”

He nudged her over towards the bar and ordered two beers.  “The burns healed awhile ago.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”  She rested her head on his shoulder.  “I know you lost your team on Akuze.”

“I did.  And it sucks.”  Linc was quiet, lost in memory.  “You know the worst part?  We were lured there.  I can’t prove it, but I know we were.”

Ella knew there was nothing she could say, so she sat and listened as he reminisced about his squad, offering silent support and a full pint.  When it became too much, Linc’s attention returned to her.  “Now then doll, let’s talk about you. Why are you ignoring Hackett’s and Anderson’s messages?  And why exactly, didn’t you tell anyone what was going on during training?” 

She bristled under his gentle reprimand.  “When?  In between the cocktails and massages?”

“Don’t deflect.  You know what I mean.”

“I handled it Linc.  Maybe not the way you or Hackett would have, but it’s done.”

“When are you going to realize you don’t have to handle it alone?”

“I handled it alone most of my life.  You don’t rely on people.  It means debts and debts mean strings.”

“It’s not a debt.  It’s what people do when they care about each other.”   

“Could we please just drop it?  Where’s this rotation I was supposed to be at hours ago?”

“You can’t avoid the subject forever doll.  There’s no rotation.  I needed an excuse for you to leave with me.  You do, however, have a month of shore leave then N2 training based in Florence.”

“But, I failed.  Miserably.”

“You assessed a situation, took a commanding role, saved thirty kids, and still had time to save the sorry ass of a teammate who’d treated you like shit the entire training.  That’s more than a success.”  He jabbed his beer bottle at her.  “Give yourself some credit doll.”

Ella finished off her beer before answering.  “I do Linc.  Believe me.  But right now I have a very large, warm bed calling my name and can sleep more than four hours.  And I think you need some as well.”

Linc walked with her back to the hotel.  They avoided talk of Akuze and the N program, instead discussing Linc’s new boyfriend.  Ella avoided mentioning Zaeed.  It had been nine months since they had argued on Elysium.  She had sent him a message telling him about N training, but he never responded.  Linc gave her a final hug before parting.  Ella was nearly inside when he called her name.

“Yes?”

“Love the shirt doll.  Does wonders for your _assets_.”

The blue chiffon draped over her artfully, forming a low v across her front.  It gave the impression of being modest, yet seductive.  “Such an ass Marshall.  Go find your pretty young thing to keep you company tonight.”

He shot her a grin that had men and women alike melting at his feet before disappearing around a corner.  Ella made her way to her rented room, mentally debating whether she should finally give in and buy an apartment of her own.  Her hat found its way onto the table and she had just bent to undo her boots when a noise farther in had her straightening, a knife in hand.

“I wondered what happened to that goddamn knife.”  Zaeed flipped a light on near the couch he was stretched out on.

“Not my fault you left in on Elysium when you stormed out.”  She finished kicking off her boots and walked towards him hesitantly, knife outstretched towards him. 

“Keep it sweetheart.”

Ella dropped onto the chair across from him, placing the knife on a table beside her.  “What are you doing here?”

“It was brought to my attention you’ve been avoiding people.”

She groaned.  “Really?  I swear you men gossip more than women.  Linc’s already cornered me.  Tell Steven I’m fine.  I didn’t exactly have tons of time to be sending messages.”

“Enough time to cut your hair off.”

Ella toyed with the ends of her now chin length bob.  “It got in the way, even pulled back.  Nina and I took a knife to it four weeks into training.  It’s grown out some.”  She slouched into the chair.  “You didn’t come all this way to talk about my hair or the fact I’m not responding to Steven.  Why are you really here?”

He sat up and leaned towards her.  “I was goddamn pissed off at you sweetheart.  I don’t bloody trust many people and when I find out one of the ones I do has fucking lied for years, it’s hard.”

“It wasn’t my goal to hurt you Zaeed.  I meant to tell you, but it was never seemed right.  And after so much time, I was afraid. . .” she trailed off.

“Afraid of what Ella?”

“I was afraid it would be just another reason you _had_ to stick around.  I’m not a debt to be worked off.”

“Where in the bloody hell would you get that idea?”

“That’s the way life works Zaeed.  You owe people, or they owe you.  Once the debt is paid, you go your own ways.  And I just . . . I didn’t want to lose you.” 

Ella hadn’t realized he had moved until she was up and in his arms.  “You’re not going to lose me sweetheart.  You’re not a goddamn debt to be paid off.”  He walked them back to the couch, lying down with her sprawled on top of him.  He cradled her neck and back, keeping her tight against him. Zaeed felt her shudder against him as her head burrowed against his chest.  A knot of tension seemed to loosen in his chest as he inhaled the soft mixture of whiskey, eezo, and lilacs.  He missed her.

“I thought you left me,” she admitted.  “I don’t . . . let people in.  I only get hurt.”

“I’m not going anywhere.  Just, no more goddamn secrets, okay?”

“I’ll try.”  She covered his mouth with a hand before he could argue.  “I’ve been protecting myself for over twenty years Zaeed.  I won’t promise to change overnight.  But I’ll work on it.”

“Good.  Then tell me what the hell happened at the Vila?”

Ella poked him in the side.  “I see how it is.  Use my words against me.”  She sobered.  “They were kids Zaeed, some of them no older than I was when I first met you. When we argued to stay and free them, the team leader looked at me and said, ‘they’re just street kids.  No one gives a flying fuck about them.’  And . . . that was me.  No one but you and Steven gave a fuck about me.  I needed to do it for those kids.  So they know that someone cared.”  As she spoke, her biotics flared, encasing her form in a fine, blue light.

“It was the right goddamn thing to do Ella.”  He sat up, adjusting her so she straddled his lap, ignoring the charge of energy surrounding them.  “You make the right goddamn calls, even if you fucking forget there’s people there to help you.”

Her arms twined around his neck as she attempted to control the energy coursing through her.  As the light dissipated, Ella lowered her head to kiss him.  It began as a gentle meeting of lips.  The months apart melted away as they took their time while seeking the places that drove the other crazy.  Zaeed’s hands slipped easily under the wisp of fabric she called a shirt.  He muttered an apology against her lips as he ripped the fabric, pushing it down her shoulders.  His lips skimmed the curve of her throat, before settling to tease first one nipple, then the other.  He alternated between lips, tongue, and teeth. 

Ella refused to be complacent as she tugged at the buttons of his shirt until skin was bared.  She dragged her hands against his skin, cataloguing the new scars he earned over the past months.  His hands flexed on her waist as she pulled away to shimmy out of the faded jeans and panties she had been wearing.  Zaeed’s jeans followed suit as she rejoined him on the couch.    

He gripped her wrists, placing her hands on the back of the couch on either side of his head.  “Don’t move them sweetheart.  Just relax.” he murmured as his hands skimmed her body.  Zaeed sought out all the spots he knew drove her crazy, tormenting her until her hands flexed uselessly on the cushions.  Ella’s head dropped to his shoulder as he finally sheathed himself within her.

Ella willingly abandoned control to him.  His hands settled on the flare of her hips as he directed her movements.  Zaeed brought her to the edge with firm, quick strokes, and then slowed until he was nearly still before beginning again.  Her hands flexed on the back of the couch as she alternated between breathy encouragements and heartfelt pleas.  His hands tightened on her as he began driving up into her hard, as he pulled her down to meet him.  “Come for me sweetheart.  Let me hear you.” With a sobbing moan, Ella came apart.  The tenuous control over her biotics snapped, engulfing them in a wave of blue energy.  The added stimulation sent him over the edge and he called her name as he emptied inside her.

They lay together until the sweat began to cool on their skin.  Zaeed went to move and Ella tightened her legs around him.  “Don’t leave.  Stay here.”

“Just moving us to the bed sweetheart.”  He carried her into the adjacent room and situated them under the blankets.  His hands trailed through her short crop of hair while they both drifted between wakefulness and sleep.  “What are your plans before your next N training Ella?”

She smiled sleepily against his chest.  “Gossiping busybodies.  Nothing concrete.  Seeing Steven and Linc probably.”

“Ever been to the Citadel?”  He felt more than saw, her head shake no.  “You should.  I have an apartment in the wards.  Nothing bloody special about it, but it’s there.”

“Must be nice to have a place to call home.”

“Wouldn’t call it a few rooms in Zakera a goddamn home.  But it’s there and empty if you want to get away for a bit.”

“With a glowing recommendation like that, how can I resist?  I do have one question though.”

He sighed.  “What is it?”

 “Do I finally get to meet Jessie?”  Ella didn’t pretend to hide her grin when she felt him chuckle.

“Yeah, it’s about goddamn time you met the old girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella's outfit can be found here: http://missmeggo929.tumblr.com/post/63939076950/ella-in-rio


	12. Chapter 12

The colony Ella was training on, in theory, didn’t exist.  Her N4 testing had taken her not only off planet, but out of system and into the Traverse.  The facility was listed on all documentation as a privately owned mining facility and went so far as to actually export small amounts of palladium annually.  Inside the prefabs, however, was some of the most intense military training Ella had ever experienced.  After her first week, Ella knew why the location was kept secret; anyone who had ever trained there probably wanted to burn it to the ground once they left.

So when she exited a simulator to find the deck suspiciously void of people and both Linc and Anderson waiting for her, Ella was immediately on guard.  “I’m guessing you weren’t just in the neighborhood and decided you had to stop in for tea?”

“You may want to have a seat Lieutenant,” Anderson’s voice held a note of wary sadness.

“With all respect sirs, I’d rather stand.”

“Doll, sit down.”  Ella was taken aback by her nickname being delivered in Linc’s military-stern voice.  She warily backed towards the deck railing and leaned against it.

“Last night, Admiral Hackett was leading a small task force against a group of pirates attacking a colony at the edge of the Traverse.  His ship was involved in a firefight and was shot down.  All crew members made it into escape pods, but the Admiral was seriously injured during the attack.  He’s been taken to the hospital on Arcturus.”  Anderson had done his best to deliver the news gently, but without emotion.  He failed.

Ella stared at the two men, not quite comprehending what they were telling her.  She wasn’t aware that she had zoned both of them out until Linc’s hand settled behind her neck, forcing her to look at him.  “Breathe doll.  He’s alive.”

“I . . . What do I do?”  She was almost ashamed of how small her voice sounded.

“Staff Commander Marshall will escort you back to Arcturus.  As next of kin, you’ve been given leave to be with him.”  Anderson paused as his face settled into a cold mask.  “I’ll be leading a small group of ships to reclaim the colony and apprehend the pirates.”

Ella wasn’t quite sure how exactly she got herself out of her armor and into a transport with a fully packed bag.  Linc stopped trying to engage her in conversation when her biotics involuntarily flared at the mention of Steven’s name.  His hand on her knee was the closest he could thing he could offer towards comfort seeing as it was a military transport.

Ella felt numb and it terrified her.  It was different then when she was with The Reds.   She chose to stay emotionally unattached as a teen.  It kept her safe.  This feeling wasn’t safe.  She couldn’t contemplate him being injured or anywhere near death.  Something in her recoiled away from even thinking it. 

The transport docked as close to the hospital as possible.  Linc had her through the doors and up to Hackett’s room in record time.  Two military police officers and a doctor stood outside his door.  Ella barreled past them.  When one tried to stop her, her biotics flared in warning.  She heard Linc ask her to wait, but she couldn’t.

His room was silent except for the quiet beeps of the machines surrounding the bed.  Ella pulled a chair from against the wall towards Steven’s bed.  She settled down next to him, watching the easy rise and fall of his chest.  His face was bruised, but nothing that would scar.  She flipped through the chart sitting beside his bed, cataloguing his broken ribs, shattered left leg, and slight swelling around the brain.  

“Lieutenant Shepard?”  Linc stood in the door in front of a sedate looking woman.

“What is it Commander Marshall?”  Using his title grated on her nerves.  She wanted her friend, not the military persona.

“I’m checking to make sure you won’t throw the nice doctor through a wall when she checks on the admiral.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“No one said you had to.  Just don’t attack the medical professionals.”

Ella watched the doctor check Steven’s vitals and adjust settings on the machines.  She explained everything she was doing and how it would help Steven recover.  As the doctor entered the information onto a data pad, she turned towards Ella. “The admiral will recover Lieutenant.  Sitting here will not make him recover faster.”

“Are you suggesting I leave him Doctor. . .?”

“Chakwas, and of course not Lieutenant.  I’m suggesting you take a few moments to make use of the shower and sleep a few minutes.”

“I’ve been awake longer.”

“This isn’t a battlefield.”

“I . . . he’d do the same for me.”

“He mentioned you were stubborn.”

Her last statement caught Ella’s attention.  “You know him?”

“I’ve served with the Fifth Fleet for many years and I’ve known Steven most of them.  He speaks of you often.  He’ll be glad to see you when he wakes, but not if you’ve worn yourself out Shepard.”

“I’ll take it under consideration.”

Ella nodded towards the doctor as she exited the room.  She returned to her silent vigil, letting time escape her.  So lost in her own thoughts she almost missed the distinctive sounds of a door being hacked open.  Protective anger surged through her as she made her way towards the door, biotics swirling.  The familiar scent of cigars and ozone made her pull up short.  “Zaeed?”

“Hello beautiful.”  He barely had a chance to move before Ella launched herself into his arms as the blue aura faded.  One arm wrapped around her as he shut and locked the door behind him.  “Didn’t know if you’d be here yet sweetheart.”

He felt shudders work their way down her back.  With a concerned sigh he swept her up into his arms and carried her towards the chair she vacated.  He sat down with her curled up in his lap, head burrowed against his collar.  His hand ran along her back, soothing her until she stopped shaking.  Zaeed barely heard her mutter, “what if he doesn’t get better?”  The timid quality of her voice was unexpected. 

“Steven’s a tough bastard sweetheart.  I’ve seen him survive worse.”

“That’s not comforting Massani.”

“It’s the goddamn truth though.”

“If he’s going to be fine, then why are you here?”

Zaeed shrugged uncomfortably.  “Overheard some asari bitch on Omega bragging about how they were planning on taking out an injured admiral.  I put two and two together.”  He tugged her back into his lap when she tried to move.  “Already taken care of it Ella.”

She settled back down, head twisted to watch Steven.  Zaeed let her sit in silence, her hands idly toying with the fabric of his jacket.  When Ella would start to tense, he’d tell her about a bounty or job gone right or wrong until she had relaxed against him again.  She was half asleep against his chest when the doors flew open 

An influx of doctors and nurses had Zaeed growling and Ella glowing. Dr. Chakwas stormed into the room.  “I believe you were all told to wait until I arrived.  Out.”  She turned to Ella, seemingly nonplussed that an unauthorized man was with her.  “We’d like to perform another surgery to relieve the pressure around his brain.  Now, in theory, I can authorize the surgery immediately, but seeing as you’re listed as next of kin, I felt you should have a say.”

Ella felt her grudging respect for the doctor grow.  “Do it.  How long will he be in there?”

“Long enough for you to shower and eat something.  Go home for a few hours Shepard.  Get some rest.  I’ll have you messaged when he’s in recovery.”

She untangled herself from Zaeed’s grasp and went to lean over the bed.  “I’ll be back when you’re done.  You won’t wake up alone,” she whispered him, not caring who heard.  Zaeed wrapped an arm around her and guided her from the room.  She stood at the end of the hall while he and Linc had a hushed conversation.  Tired of waiting for the two men, she slipped out of the hospital and made her way to Hackett’s apartment.

Zaeed found her in Steven’s study, flipping through an old children’s book, tear streaks running down her face.  He wondered when she would crack.  Ella placed the book gently on the shelf.  “I never should have agreed to this.”

“To what sweetheart?”

She gestured around the room.  “This!  To someone wanting me as family.  I don’t know how to do this.  Strings and debts and emotions.  I should have talked him out of it.”

“Don’t be stupid sweetheart.  If you think the bloody bastard would have let you walk away, you’re wrong.  That goddamn piece of paper just made it legal.  And if you think you’re reaction to him getting hurt would be any different without it, you’re wrong.”

“I could have walked away.  I could’ve just been a soldier.”

“No goddamn way.  Neither of us would have let you leave again.”  His hand cupped her cheek.  “Steven chose you as his family thirteen years ago Ella.  The day you walked into that goddamn recruiting office was the happiest I’d see the bastard in four years.  Happiest I’d been too.  Those strings have been in place a long fucking time sweetheart, whether you knew it or not.  I’m not goddamn losing you again so you better get used to it.”

He kissed her softly, cutting off her response.  Zaeed waited until the tension began to leave her shoulders before pulling away.  He bribed and cajoled her into a shower and eating something, but Ella refused to sleep.  They returned to the hospital as Steven was being wheeled back from recovery.  She noticed the increase of both military police and actual soldiers throughout the hospital, but didn’t comment. 

Zaeed left her in Steven’s room with a kiss and a promise to return when the day cycle started over.  He wanted to check that no new threats against Steven had cropped up.  Ella took her place beside the bed again, this time leaning forward to rest her arms near his.  “I don’t remember this being part of our deal Steven.  I didn’t realize it would go both ways.  I know you worry about me.  I just didn’t plan on worrying about you.”  Ella took his hand in both of hers.  “You’re not supposed to get hurt, so, please. . .get better.  I’ll make it an order if I have to.”

Eventually exhaustion won out and fell asleep her head resting against the mattress edge.  The pleasant haze of sleep was interrupted by something dragging across her scalp. She brushed it away grumbling, still mostly asleep.  Familiar soft laughter had her eyes dragging open.  Hazy blue eyes met hers.  “Still not a morning person kid?”

She bit back a teary chuckle as she grabbed his hand.  “Well, I’ve been up worrying about a certain wayward admiral.”

“I’m glad you’re here kiddo.  I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else Steven.  I guess you’re stuck with me.”


	13. Chapter 13

An engine malfunction on her transport to Arcturus meant an impromptu stop at the galactic center.  Ella had declined the offer of a hotel and made her way through the maze of corridors that connected the wards.  Zaeed had received the apartment as payment for a bounty a few years previous.  It made a convenient, and anonymous, home base for the bounty hunter.

The Citadel apartment was disappointingly empty.  Her message to Zaeed had gone unanswered, so it wasn’t surprising.  Ella toed off her boots and made her way into the bathroom to wash off the grime of her trip.  She pulled on a pair of white jeans and high-necked purple sweater and debated whether to order take out or cook something.  Cooking won seeing as she was home and actually _could_ cook.

Ella froze halfway through putting her hair up and stared around the room.  Home.  The concept was foreign to her, yet her clothes were in the closet next to Zaeed’s, she had her own workbench for her collection of shotguns, and the set of cooking knives Linc gave her were stored in the kitchen.  The bedding wasn’t standard issue alliance and there were holo’s on the walls depicting scenery from shore leaves they had spent together. 

Unable to sit in the apartment any longer, she abandoned her hair, shrugged on a black blazer, and finished with a purple and black fedora, heading out towards the markets.  The anonymity of the wards had appealed to Ella since her first visit.  No one knew her as a former street rat, or the Hero of Elysium, or even the newest N7.  All anyone knew was she was a human who enjoyed the fresh food they could provide her.  She wove her way through the crowds, stopping to chat with her favorite shop owners, anything to keep from thinking about having a _home_.

Ella had just finished her shopping when a hand shot out from between two buildings, pulling her into the alley.  An armored forearm settled across her throat, pinning her to the wall. 

“You’ve made a fucking mess for me little one.”

Ella’s temper flared at the nickname.  Vido hadn’t changed much in the past nine years.  A little more grey in his hair and a few more lines on his face were the only noticeable changes.  “Take your hands off of me.  Now.” 

“I don’t think so little one.  I’ve been patient, letting you defy me, but your actions on New Canton have set me back months if not years.”

Ella mentally reviewed her final N7 test.  She had been sent on a solo mission to a remote colony with the goal of infiltrating a possible merc base and assessing the immediate danger.  What she found was a cooperative stronghold between the group and a slaver ring.  Ella made the decision to destroy the base with a few well-placed explosives.  Only one ship managed to make it off base before it blew.

“Letting me defy you?  I’m not a possession you own.”

“No little one, that’s where you’re wrong.  Do you think I ever stopped watching you?  I knew you’d serve a purpose one day.  Now that you’re an N7, you can help the group that raised you.”

“I thought all I was good for was cannon fodder?”  She regretted saying the words as they left her.

“Remember that do you?  I knew you hadn’t forgotten us.”  His forearm slid down so his hands could encircle her throat.

“I was hoping that after almost a decade you’d have something new.  You sound like a goddamn broken record.”

The hand across her throat tightened.  “Watch your mouth little Ella.”

Fed up with the mercenary, Ella let her biotics flare, sending him reeling into the wall.  She pinned the dazed man to the wall.  “Let’s get something straight Vido.  I will never work with you.  I made my choice years ago.  It doesn’t matter how long you follow me, I will never choose you.”

As she stepped away he went to grab her again.  Ella lifted him in the air before dropping him to the ground.  “Next time you put your hands on me, I kill you.”  She was out of the alley and lost in the crowds before he recovered.  Regardless, she took a twisting route back to the apartment.

Reassured Vido hadn’t followed her, Ella set the reinforced door locks Zaeed had installed and set about cooking.  The lessons Linc insisted on giving her years ago had morphed into a true love of the art.  Most of her meals weren’t fancy necessarily, but she enjoyed blending asari and human cuisines.  Tonight was simple though, since it was just her.  A roast and vegetables, with enough left over to freeze for Zaeed’s next visit.  Setting a timer, Ella peeled off top and jeans to settle in for a quick nap.

Ella wasn’t sure how long she slept when she felt the cushions below her shifting.  Cool air hit her skin and she burrowed towards the warmth pressed against her side.  A low chuckle sounded near her ear as she was set onto the bed.  Warm hands slid over her skin, raising goose bumps in their path.  Her eyes fluttered open at the light press of fingers against her panties.  A sleep tinged whimper escaped, pulling his eyes towards her face.

“About time you woke up sweetheart.”  Zaeed lowered his lips towards hers, brushing a light kiss against them.  His hand delved under the fabric covering her, stroking along the edges of her pussy.  Ella arched towards his hand and moaned when he pulled away.  His hands traced along her midriff as he dotted her face with gentle kisses.  She reached towards him and he batted her hands away.  “Relax Ella.  Just enjoy.”

She huffed out a sigh and let her arms drop.  He intertwined their hands and slowly pulled them above Ella’s head.  He shot her devious grin and twisted a length of soft rope between her wrists, binding them to the headboard.  Zaeed hovered over her just a moment.  “Alright sweetheart?”

She tugged lightly on her bindings.  They were tight enough to keep her arms from lower, but still gave her room to wiggle.  Ella smiled her agreement and a blindfold quickly covered her eyes.  She felt him move from the bed.  Anticipation had her wiggling restlessly.  A firm hand settled across her stomach, holding her still.  He pinched the inside of her thighs lightly until Ella spread her legs for him.  Zaeed whispered a warning to not close them in her ear.  The cool kiss of a blade settled against her skin as he cut the underwear away from her body. 

His hands worked nonsensical patterns against her skin.  They would skim and lift, only to settle farther along her body.  Tongue and teeth licked and nibbled, settling to tease one nipple, then the other, with barely there touches.  Ella moaned and tugged against the cords holding her arms.  When her hips arched off the bed, Zaeed removed his touch completely.  She whimpered out pleas for him to continue.

He settled near the edge of the bed, breath warm against the skin of her inner thigh.  His stubbled cheek drug across the sensitive skin before his tongue settled against her pussy.  Ella cried out as his tongue darted out to stroke and lick.  His clever movements never settled near her clit, even as she begged.  He brought her to the edge and wouldn’t let her tumble over, until she was pulling at the restraints.  With a muffled laugh, his fingers thrust into her as his tongue flattened against her clit.  Ella’s hips arched off the bed as she came with a cry.  Zaeed’s tongue and fingers gentled as she came down from her orgasm.

Ella felt the mattress dip as he shifted, his hands planted on either side of her body.  She felt the head of his cock nudging against her before he slid inside.  His lips, still damp with her release, trailed from one nipple to the other.  He moved agonizingly slow inside her.  Ella twined her legs against his back and clenched her body tight around his cock.  Zaeed bit down on a nipple in retaliation.  He continued to move slowly, letting the pleasure build again.  No amount of pleading convinced him to move faster.  “Next time,” he whispered against her ear, “I’m going to tie you down completely and goddamn gag you sweetheart.”  The idea of being completely tied down sent a second orgasm shuddering through her body with a cry.

Zaeed pulled out as the shudders subsided.  “If you can’t keep bloody quiet, I’ll help you.”  She felt the bed dip near her head.  His cock bumped against her lips and she opened them eagerly.  “That’s right sweetheart.”  His hands settled in her hair, holding her still as he pumped in and out of her mouth.  Her hands itched to touch him, but she settled for running her tongue along his cock.  He pulled out of her mouth right before he came, painting her chest with his release. 

The hands on her head gentled then pulled away to untie the rope.  Zaeed pulled off the blindfold and swung her back up into his arms.  “I can walk you know.”

“Indulge me sweetheart.”

The showered together and gently cleaned each other.  They wound up back in bed, her head pillowed against his chest.  “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Bounty got called off.  Goddamn turian bitch got off’d on Omega.  Pissed off the wrong person I guess.”

“Can you stay?  My transport leaves in the morning.”

“I’ll stay until my transport leaves.  I’m earth bound at 0800.”

“Really?  For what?”

“Pretty little redhead I know has an awards ceremony.  Friend of mine plans on sneaking me in.”

Ella stared up at him shocked.  “You’re coming?”

“Where else would I goddamn be?  Not every day my woman joins the elite in the galaxy.”

She stretched up and placed a kiss against his scarred cheek.  “I’m glad you’re staying tonight.  And that you’ll be at the ceremony.”

“It’s my goddamn apartment too Ella.  You don’t have to ask me to stay.”

She averted her eyes.  “I know that.”

“Yet you always do.  Care to share why?”

She sighed and twisted onto her stomach, her chin resting against his chest.  “I woke up alone a lot, you know?  Some nights I couldn’t go back to our hideouts, or they’d change locations without telling all of us.  If the cops were following us, we holed up where we could.  I hated it.  Waking up alone and cold in a place you don’t know, it gets to you after awhile.  When I know I’m not alone, it helps.”

He pulled her up his chest, settling her head under his chin.  “You’re not bloody alone anymore Ella.”

“I know.  It’s not so bad.  This place and Steven’s apartment are comfortable.  I know where I am when I wake up.  I know I’m safe, but having someone there, just makes it . . . easier somehow.”

“And I plan to do my goddamn best to keep making it easier.”

“I know.  It’s good to have a home, you know?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I know.”


	14. Chapter 14

_E.S.- Steven, why is there a Spectre shadowing me?_

_S.H.- Interspecies cooperation Shepard._

_E.S.- Really?  I didn’t question my assignment on the Normandy, **or** the fact that both Anderson and Chakwas are on board probably sending you messages on how I’m doing my first time out.  But Nihlus follows me everywhere.  I’m surprised he hasn’t walked into the ladies room to watch me shower._

_S.H.- I . . . Really Ella?_

_E.S.- It’s funny, I can hear your sighs over the message._

_S.H.- Just, do your job.  Enjoy your first command as XO._

_E.S.- I’d enjoy it more if I didn’t have a turian towering over me when I’m trying to win credits back from the guys in engineering._

_S.H.- Gambling on the ship again?  What did I tell you about that?_

_E.S.- Don’t get caught?_

_S.H.- You’ve been around Massani too long._

_E.S.- Sure, we can blame it on him.  Gotta go, my turian shadow is requesting my presence._

The excuse of a shakedown run was so flimsy, Ella saw through it immediately.  She went with it though, knowing Anderson would share the details when he could. Prothean artifacts and Nihlus’ admission he put her name forward for Spectre candidacy was not what she had expected when she boarded The Normandy six months previous.   

Given her luck, Ella wasn’t surprised when the mission on Eden Prime went FUBAR before she even landed.  The geth were a surprise.  Losing Jenkins hurt, but she didn’t have a chance to mourn as they rescued another marine, found Nilhus murdered, and her brain was scrambled by the damn artifact they had been sent to recover.

She waved off David’s and Karin’s concerned suggestions she rest, knowing they’d tattle to Steven either way.  Ella got Ashley settled and checked in with Kaidan as they made their way to the Citadel.  Excitement rippled through the crew; most had never been to the galactic center.  In theory, neither had she.  Up until now, Ella had managed to keep a pretty clear separation of work and leave, but she a nagging feeling that was going to change. 

The council was as unhelpful as she expected.  Ella spent nearly two days running around the Citadel trying to find proof Saren was behind the attacks on Eden Prime.  She managed to recruit not only a turian C-Sec operative, but a krogran mercenary while finding the evidence she needed.  A shootout in Chora’s Den sent a bullet through her shoulder, but they saved the young quarian and found the information they needed to incriminate Saren. 

She ignored the constant pings on her omni tool as they made their way to the Presidium.  Garrus and Kaidan stood behind her as Ella was sworn in as the first human Spectre.  A glance at the surrounding crowd had her picking out Steven’s perfect military stance, Lincoln’s artfully casual lean, and Zaeed’s shadow hugging skulk.  The last sent a shiver down her spine.  Ella had been so wrapped up in the investigation; she hadn’t realized he was on the Citadel. 

As the ceremony ended, Linc loped down from the balcony and wrapped her in a bear hug.  “I knew it’d be you doll.”

She winced and pushed him away.  “Easy there hot stuff.  Don’t scuff the armor.”

Ella ignored the suspicious glare he sent her way.  “What brings another up and coming Commander to the Citadel anyways?”

“An attractive man like usual.” He gestured behind her with a grin.  Steven was attempting to extract himself from Udina’s ranting.

“Should we rescue him?”

“Hackett’ll be fine.  Maybe he’ll remember it next time he corners a poor, lowly commander on his own ship to rant at them.”

Ella rolled her eyes.  “Poor, lowly commander?  Please Linc, I’ve served on ships with you before.”

“So you know I’m the best.”  His grin was unrepentant.  “See, here he comes now.”

Ella turned and got swept into another hug, again disguising a wince.  “I’m glad you were here.”

“Wouldn’t miss it Ella.  Now we just need to find you a ship.”

“I’m fine staying on with David.”

“Nonsense Shepard.  The first human Spectre needs a ship of her own.  He and I‘ll discuss it with Ambassador Udina and get you set up with something.  In the meantime, I expect you go get that shoulder looked at.”

“What shoulder?”  She sent him her best innocent expression. 

“The one that made you wince when Commander Marshall touched it.  I’ll make it an order if I have to Shepard.”

She sighed.  “Fine, I’ll let Karin patch me up.”

“See that you do.  I expect you back at The Normandy in eighteen hours Shepard.  I’ll have David release the crew on shore leave.”

Ella snapped a sharp salute at him.  “Yes sir, Admiral, sir.”

With a suffering sigh, he pulled her in for another hug.  “I’m proud of you Ella,” he murmured into her ear before letting her go.  She smiled against the soft material of his dress blues. 

Ella sent Kaidan and Garrus back to the ship and contemplated where to go next.  Zaeed was on station and she desperately wanted to see him.  But going to the apartment in her full N7 gear gave away her sense of anonymity.  Not that it would last much longer anyways.  Already she saw her image plastered on the news terminals spread out through the Citadel. 

A hand wrapped around her good arm and tugged lightly.  She spun and found herself face to face with Zaeed.  “Going somewhere sweetheart?”  His tone had a bite to it.

“Trying to.  I was trying to figure out how to make it to the apartment without drawing attention to myself.”  She watched his demeanor relax a bit.

“That goddamn doctor in the wards can look at your shoulder.  I’ll worry about the armor.” 

Ella let Zaeed usher her through The Citadel and tolerated his hovering while Dr. Michel patched up the wound.  True to his word, her armor disappeared into a crate bearing the emblem of a popular Zakera ward shop.  Ella gratefully changed into the wide legged jeans and knit golden brown sweater that Zaeed seemed to have on hand.  Zaeed settled a blue fedora on her head in an attempt to cover her distinctive red hair.  She shot a message off to both Steven and Karin letting them know she had been patched up and would report back to the ship in the morning.

Their apartment was blessedly quiet.  Her head still ached from whatever the Prothean beacon did.  Zaeed tugged her onto the oversized couch, covering them both with a blanket.  Ella’s head rested comfortably against his chest while his hands worked gently on the tense muscles of her shoulder and back.  “You scared the goddamn hell out of me Ella.”

“It wasn’t on purpose Zaeed.”

“I know that.  But when Steven told me you’d been out cold for twelve hours after some fucking beacon scrambled your head, I thought the goddamn worst.”

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t even know you knew.  I planned to tell you, but I barely got a chance to sleep, let alone check or send messages.”

Zaeed’s hands slid under her sweater as if he needed to feel she was alive and okay.  “I get that sweetheart.  It’s part of your bloody job.  Just try and goddamn stay safe for me?  I can’t bloody lose you.”

Ella propped her head up to look him in the eyes.  “I don’t know Massani.  It’s been what? Almost nine years?  You’re not tired of me yet?”

She felt his growl more than heard it.  “I’m not tired of you sweetheart, I goddamn love you Ella.  Haven’t you figured that out?”  Zaeed held his breath, not sure exactly how she’d react.

Ella’s eyes widened as she stared at him.  “What did you say?”

“You heard me the first time sweetheart.”

She lowered her head to touch his lips with hers.  “That’s a good thing since I’ve been in love with you for a very long time.”  She felt his lips curve against his curve into a smile. 

“That so sweetheart?”

“You heard me the first time,” she teased gently.  His hands threaded through her hair and pulled her in for another kiss.  They lay on the couch together, trading soft kisses and quiet words as the pain and tension in her head abated.  She was half asleep when Zaeed shifted out from under her.  “No sleeping yet sweet Ella.  I have something for you.”

She wrapped the blanket tight around her shoulder as she sat up and watched him walk into the bedroom.  He returned quickly, a small box in hand.  “I’m damn proud of you Ella,” he said, handing the box to her.

She opened it slowly and stared at the simple necklace inside.  Two rubies and a black tourmaline were bracketed by silver and hung from a chain.  Ella smiled at the colors.  Yes, they were the traditional N7 colors, but they also mimicked the red accents of her armor, and the black of his.  “It’s beautiful.”

“I know you can’t wear it with your armor, but I wanted you to have something to remember us by sweetheart.”  He gently lifted the necklace out of the box.  Ella pulled her hair to the side and let him attach the clasp behind her neck.  Zaeed placed a soft kiss against her collarbone before stepping away.  “Bloody beautiful.”

Ella pulled him down onto the couch with her.  “You’ve got a soft spot under that gruff, cranky ‘I’m a bastard,’ exterior.  It’s very sweet.”

“I’m not bloody sweet.”

“Yes you are, but don’t worry.  Your secret’s safe with me.”


	15. Chapter 15

Ella arrived at the Normandy the next morning to find command had been yanked from Anderson and given to her.  Despite her protests that it was his ship, she eventually conceded and accepted on the condition he spilled about his past with Saren.  The obvious distain the two males had for each other was evident, but hopefully not problematic.  Udina, for all his obnoxious yelling, managed to get leads on not only Saren’s possible whereabouts, but the Matriarch’s daughter as well.

Dr. T’Soni was easy to find once they made it into the dig site, but not easy to rescue.  Ella was impressed, yet slightly annoyed, that the awkward asari doctor had locked herself into a Prothean stasis field.  The krogan mercenary blocking their exit and the ancient ruins they wound up having to destroy, didn’t help her mood.

Ella had barely sent her reports to both Alliance Command and the council when Hackett sent a request that she recover a data disc from a downed probe.  Halfway through chasing space monkeys to find the data module, she swore vengeance on Steven in some form or another.

Joker’s planetary scans found an additional prothean ruin tucked between peaks of the planet.  She and the ground crew went to check the reports out, Dr. T’Soni babbling about it from the back of the mako.  The site was unremarkable at best.  Just a silver orb, hovering off the ground with a small slot.  On a whim, Ella inserted the trinket The Consort had given her.

An explosion of light led to another set of visions.  This time the memories of a long dead hunter flashed before her before Ashley roused her in a panic.  Ella placated the nervous marine and yanked the trinket from the orb.  When she, Ashley, and Tali eventually made it back to the ship, Ella had Joker set a course for Arcturus.  Safely behind the doors of her cabin, she sent a message to Zaeed.

_E.S.- I need a creative, yet non-lethal way to exact justice on Steven.  Oh, and I got another head fuck from a Prothean artifact._

_Z.M.- What in the bloody hell are you talking about?_

_E.S.- My last mission was . . . unique and absurd.  And I have a headache._

_Z.M.- Do I even want to know?_

_E.S.- I’m not reliving it.  Ever.  Sweet talk Steven into sharing the report with you if you must._

_Z.M.- But you’re okay?_

_E.S.- When aren’t I?  I’m on my way to Arcturus to drop some sensitive data off.  18 hour ETA.  Anywhere around there?_

_Z.M.-  I could find myself near that area.  You do remember the Alliance fundraiser will be happening then right sweetheart?_

_E.S.- Fuck._

_Z.M.- Find something gorgeous sweetheart.  I’ll pick you up._

_E.S.- Who says you’re coming with?_

_Z.M.- I’d just sneak in like last time.  Remember that night?  How I had you up against the wall in the elevator before the night’s end?  How your mouth was on my goddamn cock and my fingers in your pussy?_

_E.S.- I . . . have to go._

_Z.M.- Something on your mind sweet Ella?_

_E.S.- What do you think you obnoxious bastard?_

_Z.M.- See you soon sweetheart._

Ella silently cursed the two insufferable men in her life as she placed multiple extranet orders.  She spent the rest of the trip getting to know her crew.  She managed to rope Wrex, Garrus, Ashley, and Kaidan into a poker game.  A few hours before arriving, Ella escaped the table, glad to see the other four continued without her.  She needed her ground team to gel and those four seemed hesitant to work with each other.

Hackett’s apartment was empty when she arrived, multiple packages in tow.  Ella went straight to the room she had long ago claimed as her own.  She took a brief shower, indulging in the same lilac scented soaps she had so many years before.  Her hair went into a simple fishtail braided bun and she stepped into the lacy emerald green sheath.  The hem barely skimmed her knees and the long sleeves were nothing but delicate lace.  The neckline draped across the base of her throat, her front was completely covered, but left her back nearly completely exposed.  Simple black pearlescent drop earrings and a matching ring were the only accessories she wore.

An impatient knock sounded just as she slipped into the black heels that mimicked the lace of her dress.  Ella opened the door and bit back her smile at Zaeed’s slightly disappointed gaze.  She knew that, given the neckline, her dress seemed almost prudish at first glance.

“I forget how nicely you clean up Massani,” she commented quietly, slipping past him through the door.  His grey suit, sans tie, had a subtle pattern woven into the material.  A deep blue shirt contrasted against the tan of his skin.  Ella heard his smart mouthed retort die on his tongue.  She glanced at him from over her shoulder.  His gaze was firmly settled on the expanse of skin the back of her dress exposed.

“Something wrong?”  There was no disguising the humor in her voice.

“Might be cold there sweetheart.  You may need a coat.”

“Oh, I’ll be fine.”  She stopped near the elevator and turned to face him.  “Are you coming or do you plan to stay by the door all night long?”  He seemed to break free from his stupor and stalked towards here.

The doors opened and they were, to his chagrin, not alone.  Zaeed angled himself behind her, effectively blocking the back portion of her dress from the other men in the elevator.  His hand slid possessively against the bared skin on her back and he felt her shiver.  Zaeed kept himself placed strategically behind her the entire trip to the fundraiser’s location.  

It seemed a smart idea, until the subtle scent of her perfume hit him.  Ella only wore the lightly floral scent occasionally.  He had grown to associate it with . . . _pleasurable_ moments.  She couldn’t help but smirk at him occasionally over her shoulder.  Ella swore she heard him growl at another male passenger who stepped a bit too close.   

News of her arrival on Arcturus had apparently spread faster than she planned.  They were granted immediate access to the fundraiser, even without invitations.  Zaeed melted into the crowd when multiple reporters stepped forward to claim her attention.  She was alone for mere moments before Steven materialized at her side to shoo away the cameras.

“What exactly are you wearing Ella?”

She didn’t even attempt to hold back her laughter at the pained expression on his face.  “It’s called a dress Steven.  I don’t wear them often, but I know you’re aware of the clothing style.”

“Your last dress was a bit . . . longer.  And had a back.”

“The last dress I wore had no sleeves and was considerably shorter, but you didn’t see that one.”

Steven blanched.  “I can’t order you to go home and change anymore can I?”

“Nope.  Another plus for Spectre status.  I also won’t wear your suit coat over it so don’t even ask.”

He sighed.  “I need a drink.”

“Good.  I’m sure Zaeed’s there getting us one now.”  They walked over to the bar together, politely chatting until they were clear of prying ears.  Zaeed pushed a glass of scotch towards Hackett and nodded a hello before handing Ella a glass of wine, his hand settling possessively against the bared skin of her back.  Distracted, she missed the paternal scowl Hackett sent his friend.  “Not that I mind the visit, but what brings you to the station Shepard?”

She straightened and frowned at him.  “Did you not read my report?”

“I’ve been busy.  I skimmed it.”

“He skimmed it,” she muttered under her breath.  “Space monkeys, Steven.  I had to chase space monkeys to find your damn information.”  Ella poked him in the chest when he began to chuckle.   An echoing laugh reverberated against her back.  “Space monkeys,” she hissed.  “And then another Prothean beacon decided to take up residence in my head.”

Both men sobered quickly.  “Karin says I’m fine,” she responded before either could question.  Ella carefully placed her wine glass on the bar and then reached below the hem of her dress.  Steven’s faced turn into a stony mask while Zaeed swore and shifted so her body was shielded from prying eyes.  She fished the data chip out of the holster she had strapped against her thigh and placed it into Steven’s suit jacket pocket.

“I figured you’d want such sensitive data as quickly and securely as possible,” Ella told him, innocent blue eyes locked with his.  “Now I’m going to go dance with Lieutenant Michaels.  I haven’t seen him since Rio.”  Ella sent both of them a sharp look.  “Neither of you will be obnoxious bastards while I do so.”

She plucked the glass off the bar and wandered across the perimeter of the dance floor.  For the first time in years, she put her training from The Reds to practice.  She stood a step too close or held a hand a moment too long.  Steven and Zaeed watched the N5 soldier guide Ella through an intricate dance.

Steven let out a low, pained groan.  “She should _not_ be dancing like that.  And I thought watching her on a date when she was thirteen was bad.  Or when she decided to date your sorry ass.  I cannot shoot every person in the room looking at her.”

“Goddamn wench is doing it on purpose.”  He thought it wise not to mention to Steven that he did his own teasing the day before.

Steven shoved a pass card into Zaeed’s hand.  “I have to finish preparing for the speeches.  Please let the Commander know I’m perfectly contrite over my behaviors.  And do me a favor?   _Do not_ let her wander around Arcturus?  That card will get you access to my shuttle.  Take her home in that.”

Zaeed watched Steven stalk off, slightly entertained by the way eyes snapped away from Ella as he walked by.  Out on the dance floor, Michaels had been replaced by Captain Anderson.  Even from his position at the bar, he could tell the smile she gave the older man was genuine.  They moved together seamlessly; their battlefield camaraderie translating effortlessly to the dance floor.

The music faded and whether by design or chance, the pair came to a halt near Zaeed.  Anderson curled Ella’s hand around his forearm and escorted back to the waiting man.  The David’s eyes twinkled with barely contained mirth.  “Behave, Shepard,” he advised before stepping away.

Ella swiped the glass of whiskey from Zaeed’s hand, taking a sip.  “Where’d Steven go?”

“He decided assaulting a contingency of alliance representatives because they were looking at you was a bad idea.”

She hummed non-committedly.

“That was cruel sweetheart.”

“To who?  You or him?”

“Both.”

“You both deserved it.  For different reasons.”  She set the glass back down on the bar.  “The Normandy is set to leave in nine hours.  Have any plans?”

His smile was decidedly wicked.  “Plenty sweetheart.”

Zaeed directed her towards the shuttle pad, ignoring the questioning look Ella sent him.  His hand dipped underneath the material of her dress, settling on the swell of her hip as he guided her into a waiting shuttle.  The shuttle had barely slid into the traffic pattern when Ella pounced.

Her legs settled on either side of his on the seat, hands fisted in his hair as she yanked his head up for a better angle.  Her teeth pulled across his bottom lip before covering his lips with her own.  Zaeed’s hands tangled in her hair, pulling the pins free.  He let control the kiss as his hands slid against the bare skin of her back.  He traced the delicate lace covering her arms before slowly peeling it down and off.  The dress pooled at her waist as his hands covered both breasts.  He muffled her low moan with his lips.  “You need to be bloody quiet sweetheart.  Can you do that?”  

She grinned at him.  “Can you?”  Her hand slid between their bodies, tracing the outline of his cock through his pants.  

Zaeed barely bit down his own groan as she teased him through the fabric.  “Don’t start a game you don’t plan on finishing sweet Ella.”  His fingers flexed against her breasts.

“Who said I don’t plan on finishing?”  Quick fingers parted the fabric and made their way against his skin.  He tweaked a nipple in retaliation before dragging a hand down her stomach.  Zaeed bunched the fabric of her skirt up as he stroked a path up her thigh.  His hands stilled when he reached the curve of her hip; the place a pair of scrap of lace or silk _usually_ rested.  “Missing something sweetheart?”

“I was a bit rushed.  Someone was impatiently pounding on my door.”  She fisted his cock and pulled her tongue along his neck, nipping along the collar of his shirt.  Tired of being passive, he countered, his fingers parting her, sliding easily into her pussy.  He curled two fingers and thrust, setting a rough pace.  Her hand on him set the same pace, both determined to outlast the other.  Ella slid her thumb around the head of his cock and smiled in satisfaction as he muffled a groan against her collarbone, and thrust up into her hand, spilling into her palm.  

“Goddamn wench,” he ground out as he added a third finger.  Her hips arched forward, finally giving into sensation.  Ella rode his fingers until she shuddered on a muffled cry.  

Her head drifted onto his shoulder as they both recovered.  Ella pulled her hand away from their bodies and, with a satisfied smirk, licked her fingers clean.  

“Goddamn sweetheart. Give a man a chance to bloody recover.”  

“Unless you’ve taken to carrying a handkerchief, I can’t clean up any other way.”  

He helped her pull the dress back on before settling her against his side.  “No more goddamn Prothean beacons Ella.”

“No more teasing over messages Zaeed.  Unless you plan to help take care of it.”

“I think I’m up for the goddamn challenge."

  
“Never doubted it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella's dress: http://missmeggo929.tumblr.com/post/66201582645/ella-chapter-15


	16. Chapter 16

Ella was firmly embedded in missions for both the council and fifth fleet when the computer sent up a warning about an asteroid over Terra Nova.  She mentally shifted around her mission schedule and landed with Kaidan and Garrus.  A day of dead engineers, slavers, and a mess of batarians was enough to have her on edge.  Saving the hostages was the only thing that softened the blow of losing the group’s leader.

Feros proved to even more of a challenge.  The colonist’s deferral to Fai Dan about, well, everything had the ground team on edge.  No one seemed able to complete even the simplest of life sustaining tasks.  She understood the geth were attacking, but the placid nature of the survivors made her wary.

The fight to get to the Exo Geni headquarters seemed like child’s play in comparison to the crazed colonists they found on their return.  Ella instructed Wrex and Garrus to save as many of them as possible.  It might have slowed the ground team down, but she refused to sacrifice people who weren’t in control. 

After their encounter and destruction of the Thorian, Ella, along with the crew, needed some down time.  She ordered The Normandy to return to the Citadel for repairs.  The colonist hadn’t done much damage, but a few days in dry dock wouldn’t hurt.  On the way back to the Citadel, Liara offered to meld with Ella so she could understand the cipher.  The visions left her even more troubled.

The first night of dry dock, Ella locked herself in the cabin, finishing reports for both Hackett and the council.  The salarian councilor demanded a conference after reading her accounts of Feros.  She was still fuming at the turian councilor’s attitude when she arrived at the apartment later that day.

Zaeed was stretched out on the couch, beer in hand.  She snagged it from him, downing the rest before pulling him up for a kiss.  “Long day sweetheart?”

“I destroyed a . . . thing that puked out zombie asari.  Then I got to ‘embrace eternity’ with Liara and topped the mission off with a council meeting.  Long doesn’t fucking describe it.”

He tried tugging her down onto the couch with her, but Ella pulled away.  “Right now what I need is a long soak in the tub and another beer.  Preferably with company.”  She didn’t wait for a response, but headed into the oversized bathroom, Zaeed only moments behind with two fresh beers in hand.  They took their time, Zaeed insisting that Ella needed stress relief in the form of multiple orgasms brought on by lips and fingers.  He eventually wrapped them both in towels and herded her towards the bed.  Ella fell asleep almost immediately, forgetting to set an alarm.

The next morning she rolled over and slapped at the insistent beep of an incoming message on her omni tool.  She had barely burrowed her head back into the pillows when the beeping began again.  Groaning, she pried her eyes open and pulled up the urgent hail.

_S.H.- So, imagine my surprise when I boarded the Normandy to take it’s commanding officer to breakfast, only to find out she’s not on board.  And often disappears for at least a night when the ship is docked._

_E.S.- Lies.  Horrible, horrible lies._

_S.H.- Where are you?_

_E.S.- On the Citadel?_

_S.H.- Ella . . ._

_E.S.- It’s too damn early Steven._

_S.H.- It’s nearly 10:00 am.  Which means you’re sleeping somewhere not in a hotel._

_E.S.- You have my sleep schedules memorized?  That's creepy._

_S.H.- Lunch.  I’ll see you at the noodle stand in an hour._

_E.S.- I can sense the scowl from here._

_S.H.- And where is here?_

_E.S.- Oh look, bad connection.  See you in an hour._

_S.H.- Ella . . ._

Ella logged out and flopped back down.

“You never goddamn told him about this place did you?”  Zaeed’s voice was rough with sleep.

“Never saw the need.  Before now I only stayed here with you on shore leaves.  Which we had an unspoken agreement about that he never asked me what I did, since he knew I was usually with you.”

“Well, he’s about to goddamn find out.  Want me to come with?”

“Are you prepared for disapproving scowls and another possible ‘if you hurt her’ speech?”

“Steven doesn’t bloody scare me little Ella.”

“He should.”  Ella leaned over to brush a kiss against his scarred cheek.  “I’m going to shower and you’re not joining me.  This conversation will be awkward enough without being late.”  She hurried through a boot camp worthy shower and pulled her hair into a loose bun.  A worn pair of cargos and one of Zaeed’s dark blue button downs were paired with the necklace he had given her, and a dark grey hat.

“You’re wearing my shirt sweetheart.”  Zaeed tugged her up against his chest before she could lace up her boots.

“I know. It’s comfortable.”

Zaeed muttered under his breath as he shrugged on a leather coat.  They made their way through the wards, his hand resting on the small of her back.  As they neared the noodle stand, it slid lower, fingers sliding into the back pocket of her cargos.  Ella glared at his _attempt_ to look innocent. 

She made her way to a table near the back of the restaurant.  Steven’s face went from stony to scowling when he realized Zaeed was with her and _where_ his friend’s hand was placed.  He stood and pulled Ella into a hug.  “I ordered a bowl of spicy noodles and bread for you.  I didn’t realize we were having company.”

“I can order my own goddamn food,” Zaeed groused.

Ella sighed and picked a chair between the two men.  Hackett kept his eyes trained on her expectantly.  She found herself slumping in the chair and refusing to make eye contact with either man.  The silence lengthened as she was uncharacteristically quiet.  Steven bit back a smile.  This was the closest to be a sullen teenage her had ever seen her.  Eventually she sighed and muttered, “I may have forgotten to mention I have an apartment on the Citadel.”

“Is there a reason you ‘forgot’ about the apartment?”  He caught the furtive glance she sent towards Zaeed.  “I take it the apartment isn’t exactly _yours?”_

Ella glared at him. “Fine.  _We_ have an apartment on the Citadel.”  He couldn’t hear what Zaeed muttered under his breath, but he guessed it wasn’t favorable.

“How long has he owned the apartment?”  As if to answer his question, the waiter appeared with not two, but three bowls of noodles, informed Ella that cook had added the extra peppers she liked, and admonished her not to stay away for so long next time.  Steven stared at the table, then back at his dining companions.  “Awhile then I take it?”

He nearly laughed when she squirmed in her seat.  Zaeed did laugh.  “Couple years,” she admitted.

Steven wasn’t given a chance to ask anything else before her omni tool began beeping another urgent message.  Ella excused herself to answer the video hail.  The two friends stared at each other from across the table, neither touching their food.  It wasn’t Ella who stepped back, but Commander Shepard.

“Apparently things on Noveria have taken a slight turn for the worse.  I’m rescinding shore leave and we’re heading out in two hours.  I need to go change.”  She bent and kissed Zaeed.  By unspoken agreement, the two were rarely physical in front of Steven.  The open affection was new, and slightly unexpected.  Steven couldn’t hear the softly spoken words or Zaeed’s response.   

Even more surprising was when she leaned over and brushed a soft kiss against his cheek.  He couldn’t decipher the look on her face as she pulled back.  “I’ll message you, okay?”

“Stay safe Shepard.  That’s an order.”  He was glad to see her part with a gentle smile on her face. 

Steven leaned back in his chair and stared at his friend.  Zaeed’s eyes narrowed under the gaze.  “What in the bloody hell are you staring at me for?”  He shoveled a bite of dumplings into his mouth.

 “Any ideas why she didn’t tell me about this place?”  He toyed with the food on his plate.

Zaeed pushed the bowl away from him.  “I won’t speak for her.  But I’m guessing it has to do more with you than her.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you gave her the first goddamn home she’s ever had.  Do you think she’d bloody tell you she’s got a place of her own?”

Steven paused mid bite.  “I wouldn’t be mad.  I’m not mad.”

“I know that and you know that.  But little Ella’s so goddamn afraid to lose you, she’d rather not rock the boat.  Even if it means hiding an apartment where her pictures hang on the walls, fucking store keeps know her name and if anyone knows she’s a goddamn Spectre they hide it well.  She’s just Ella when she’s here, no one else.”

Steven stared at him for a moment.  “You love her.”

“Not like it’s a goddamn secret.”  It was Zaeed’s turn to fidget uncomfortably.

“You hurt her and I don’t care how many favors I owe you.  I will hunt you down and exact creative punishments.”

“If I goddamn hurt her, you’ll stand in a fucking line with Ella at the front of it.”

He considered the words.  “Fair enough.” 

The two men finished their meal, the topics moving to slightly safer ground.  After going separate ways, Hackett pulled up the message program and sent Ella one last hail.

_E.S.- Steven?_

_S.H.- It doesn’t bother me that you have another place you call home, even if you do share it with Massani.  When you’re ready, I’d love to see it._

_S.H.- Ella?_

_S.H.- I know you haven’t made the jump, so say something._

_E.S.- I . . . Thank you Steven.  Maybe next time we’re both on the Citadel together?_

_S.H.- I look forward to it._


	17. Chapter 17

Ella hated how cold Noveria was.  The perpetual chill was never quite chased away by the environmental controls of the station.  It reminded her of nights spent huddled with other members of The Reds in unheated buildings.  Corporate espionage, red tape, and undercover police made what should have been a relatively easy mission immensely complicated.

After fighting their way through Synthetic Oversights, Ella knew Anoleis would be out for blood.  She and the ground team returned to The Normandy after meeting with Parsini.  The undercover detective had the most logical resolution to the whole debacle.  The promise of nearly unlimited access to the station didn’t hurt either.  She sent Lorik a message, requesting he meet her for drinks and he agreed.

Forgoing her usual armor, Ella changed into a soft grey and black knitted sweater, black pants, and boots.  Her hair was quickly twisted into a braided bun and tucked under a hat.  She had splurged on a deep purple coat and mint green scarf when they landed on the snowy planet.  A brief, brisk walk found her at the hotel’s bar earlier than planned.  The bar served a variety of levo and dextro drinks and for the first time Ella found herself cursing the fact she had a rule about not drinking while on a mission.  So when a decanter of very expensive Irish whiskey was placed at her table, along with the sweetened coffee drink she ordered, Ella was suspicious. 

“Hello little one.”  Vido slid into the chair across from her.

“Didn’t I promise to kill you the next time you followed me?” she asked with false politeness.

“I believe, little one, you said you’d kill me if I touched you again.  As you can see, I’m safely on this side of the table.”  His smile was patronizingly indulgent as he poured himself a glass and splashed a generous helping over her coffee. 

“I guess next time I’ll need to be more vague with my threats.”

His laugh sounded through the bar.  “I do enjoy my conversations with you dear one, even if I don’t enjoy the threats.  Just think of the fun we could have together.”

“Threat makes it sound like I won’t follow through Vido.  And I most certainly will.” 

“Oh, I don’t think you will.  I have some . . . interesting information I’m sure you’d be willing to do most anything to keep under the radar.”  He extracted a small OSD and slid it across the table to her.  Ella raised an eyebrow at him.  “Look at it little one.”

Ella leaned forward.  “I’m not dumb enough to install an OSD into my omni tool.  Especially one from someone like you.  So instead of trying to install a virus, or spying software, why don’t you tell me why I shouldn’t just have you arrested . . . or better just kill you now?”

“So suspicious little one.”  Vido reached into his jacket and pulled out a handful of pictures.  He slid them across the table.  She shuffled through the collection.  One showed Hackett leading her away from the press at the fundraiser.  Another was of her and Steven on Arcturus from a few weeks previous.  They were both walking out of the apartment early in the day cycle.  A third showed them hugging outside of a military transport. 

Ella snagged a candid from the fundraiser and showed it to Vido.  “I haven’t seen this one yet,” she asked with a smile.  “Mind if I keep it?”

“I don’t think you understand your situation little one.”  Vido’s voice was decidedly unpleasant.  “How do you think the galactic community will react when they realize humanity’s first Spectre only gained her position because she was sleeping with an admiral?”

Ella couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that broke forth.  “Really?  This is what you’re using against me this time?”

“I will release the photos little one.  Unless you . . . do as I say.  When I say it.”  The heated look he sent her made her realize just exactly what he wanted.

“I hope you didn’t pay much for your intel Vido because it’s worthless.  In fact, do me a favor and release it.  I’m sure the alliance could use the positive press.”

“There’s no way you can twist this story where you don’t end up being a whore little one.”

“It is when the admiral you’re accusing me of sleeping with is, in fact, legally listed as my father and next of kin.”  She smiled viciously when he began to frown.  “So release it.  I’m sure the galaxy would love to hear the story of a selfless military man offering to adopt a young orphan and their eventual reunion years later.”

Ella leaned in closer, a bored smile on her face.  “Here’s what you’re going to do.  You will stand up and leave and I will let you.  You will leave me alone.  Forever.  Because the next time I so much as hear your voice, I will kill you.  And as a Spectre, I can and no one will question it.”  Ella slid the OSD back towards the gang leader and sprawled back in her chair.

Vido muttered under his breath before sweeping up the photos and disc.  “I can still find you little one.  One day you’ll need me and my help.  I won’t forget about this.”

“Neither will I,” she promised as he walked away.  Ella signaled to a waiter to clear the drinks from the table.  She paused a moment to compose herself before the turian joined her, drinks in hand.  Ella sent him a disarming smile and attempted to convince him to testify against the corrupt salarian.

* * *

When the information broker contacted with news on Vido, Zaeed wrapped up his bounty faster than he planned.  The package was delivered to a secured location on the Citadel.  He returned to the apartment, only briefly remembering to change out of his armor before returning. 

Zaeed had not been expecting photos.  More specifically he had not been expecting photos of Vido sitting at a bar with Ella.  She was smiling in a few; in others she looked downright bored.  One showed his ex-partner sliding a disc across the table to her. 

Betrayal shot through him.  Ella was one of the few people he trusted; probably the one he trusted most.  Zaeed paced the apartment floors, eventually pouring himself a glass of whiskey.  Betrayal was quickly being replaced by confusion.  Nine years was a goddamn long game if she was supposed to kill him.  How many times had he slept next to her, eaten the food she cooked, or drank from a glass that was handed to him?  It didn’t make sense.  His Ella was doggedly loyal to the Alliance and the family she had built around her.  Vido would never have tolerated such devotion, unless it was to him. 

So why had she been meeting with him?  A bolt of concern shot through him.  Was she protecting him?  Zaeed knew Ella still saw the world as a set of favors owed to various people, and protecting him from Vido would, in her mind, even some of the imaginary debt. 

He had never spoken about Vido by name though.  Zaeed had been adamant that portion of his life stay separate.  He didn’t want the taint of his revenge coloring their time together.  Vido had always been referred to in vague terms the few times they had actually discussed it.  Usually as “my goddamn ex-partner.”  Frustrated with his churning thoughts, he downed the rest of the whiskey.  He paced the floors of the apartment for what felt like hours.

The hiss of an opening door drew him back into their living room.  Ella stood in the entry, pulling her boots off.  Her smile brightened when she saw him.  “Noveria’s a shit hole in case you were wondering.  I don’t care how they dress it up.  I feel like I’ll never get warm.”  She placed a kiss on his cheek, and frowned when he didn’t respond.  “What’s the matter?”

“I need you to explain something to me sweetheart.”  Zaeed led her into the kitchen and pointed towards the pictures lying on the table.  He watched her face pale, and then go carefully blank as she looked at them.  “What the goddamn hell were you doing on Noveria Ella?”

“Where did you get these?”

“Don’t change the topic sweetheart.  What were you doing with him?”

“Nothing.  He just . . . approached me with an offer that I turned down.  Happened a lot on that planet, actually.”

Zaeed recognized her attempt to change the topic.  “Really?  One of the top fucking mercenary leaders approached a known Spectre with _just_ an offer?  I don’t buy it Ella.”

Her eyes narrowed.  “Why?  You think I’ve been in bed with mercs and gangs this whole time?  That this,” she gestured around the apartment, and herself, “is a front so I can feed them information?  An orphan from the street can’t earn this on her own, right?  Someone must have been greasing the wheels for her.  Am I right?”

The venom, and pain, in Ella’s voice had him pausing.  This wasn’t an attempt distract or dissuade.  This was a raw, emotional outburst. 

“I don’t care about your goddamn military career and how you achieved it.  All I want to know is why you were meeting with Vido fucking Santiago.”

She crowded into his personal space.  “Why do you care so much Zaeed?” 

“I want to know why the woman I goddamn love is sitting across a table smiling at the man who tried to shoot my bloody face off!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella's outfit: http://missmeggo929.tumblr.com/post/69514399024/ella-on-noveria


	18. Chapter 18

Ella pulled away from him, as if she had been physically struck.  “He did that to you?”  Her voice was low and harsh.

  
“The bastard you were dining with is the same who tried to blow a hole through my fucking head.  Why were you with him?”

  
“Son of a bitch,” she muttered so quietly, Zaeed almost didn’t hear it.  “I should’ve killed the bastard like I swore too, semantics be damned.”  Ella spun and stalked into the living room.  He followed behind, pausing when she grabbed the bottle of whiskey and disappeared into the bedroom.

  
She had settled into an overstuffed chair and was drinking straight from the bottle.  “You need to bloody talk to me sweetheart.”  

  
She took another swallow from the bottle before facing him.  “About a month before my 18th birthday, the leader of The Reds sat a group of us down.  I wasn’t quite sure why he included me, but he did.  He was bringing in an outsider.  A consultant.”  Zaeed could hear the contempt in her voice.  “The gang leaders wanted a bigger piece of the action and this man was supposed to help them.  The first time I met him, I knew something was . . . off.  He wouldn’t tell us his real name.  I didn’t like the way his eyes followed me.  The other girls hung off his every word, but he would track me as I moved around a room.  It was the last push I needed to leave the gang.  I went to the recruiting as soon as I could.”

  
Ella paused and took another swallow from the bottle.  Zaeed pulled it away from her to take a drink of his own.  He sat on the corner of the bed, bottle clasped loosely in his hands.    
“Do you remember the night I turned 18? You found me in the alley?”  Ella waited until he nodded his response.  “Vido sent that guy to . . . persuade me to remain a member.  You saw how well that turned out.  I thought it was done, but I went back to the hotel and there was a jacket.  One I’d been eyeing earlier in the day.  Vido attached a note.  I left it behind and tried to forget him.  But Vido found me on that first shore leave in Ireland.”

  
Ella saw Zaeed tense, but she continued.  “That’s when he finally told me his first name.  I refused his offer again, but it didn’t dissuade him.  He’s followed me on and off through my career.  First he tried tempting me and told me the Alliance didn’t care about street kids.  When that didn’t work, he tried threats and eventually blackmail.”

  
“Did he fucking hurt you?”  Zaeed managed to get the words out between clenched teeth.

  
“I never gave him the chance.  The last time he tried laying a hand on me, I sent him flying into a wall and promised to kill him if he ever tried it again.”

  
He couldn’t stop the small smile.  “That’s my girl.”  He handed the bottle back to her and watched as she took another swallow.  “One last question sweet Ella.  Why in the bloody hell were you smiling at him?”

  
“He was trying to blackmail me using my relationship with Steven, except he got it wrong.”  She smiled as Zaeed visibly shuddered.  “Exactly.  So I laughed and told him to go ahead.  I may have, in a way, referred to myself as a galactic little orphan Annie.”

  
The deep rumble of his laughter was soothing.  “Bloody brilliant sweetheart.”  

  
“Zaeed, I,” she floundered a moment.  “I had no idea he was the one who did that to you.  The alley was so dark that night, I only saw outlines.  I wouldn’t have even stopped if I hadn’t heard your name and then your voice.  I would’ve shot the bastard the first time I saw him with The Reds if I had known.”

  
Her words sent a chill through him.  Vido wasn’t known for his kindness.  The images of Ella lying dead next to him in the alley that played through his head were bad enough.   Picturing her strung out on sand, or standing next to Vido as they hunted him down had him moving.  

  
Zaeed bolted across the room and hauled her into his arms.  “Then I’m goddamn glad you didn’t know.  If he had seen you sweetheart, or known what you had done, he wouldn’t have been so indirect.  He would’ve bloody killed you.”  He backed them up until she rested against the wall. “Or goddamn worse.”

  
Zaeed’s hands settled on the wall, bracketing her head as he pressed towards her.  His kiss was warm and rough.  There was no gentle meeting or soft caress.  His tongue teased into her mouth, a growl sounding deep in his chest.  Ella’s hands fisted into the fabric of his shirt and yanked him even closer.  Her hands slid under the soft material of his t shirt, blunt nails dragging along his skin.   

  
They separated long enough for clothes to be pulled off.  Shirts were dropped in haphazard piles on the floor, quickly followed by jeans and underwear.  Zaeed’s hands slipped under her ass as Ella wrapped her arms around his neck.  She twined her legs behind his back as he shifted her back to rest against the wall.  His mouth settled against one breast to lick and tease.  He waited until Ella was whimpering before switching to the other.  Her short nails raked against his scalp and neck.

  
Zaeed shifted slightly so he could trail a finger along her pussy.  “I love how goddamn wet you get for me sweetheart.”  His fingers were quickly replaced as he positioned himself at her entrance.  He entered her in a quick, barely controlled thrust.  Ella’s back arched off the wall on a whimpered “fuck.”

  
“That’s the plan sweetheart.”  His teeth settled against her collarbone as he nipped and sucked with bruising force.  Ella’s legs tightened around him as he set a quick, hard pace.  Zaeed drank in each whimper and moan that escaped from her, and pushed for more.  Her pussy clenched tight around his cock as she came, his name on her lips.  
Zaeed stilled until her body relaxed.  One hand slid up to cradle her back as he pulled them away from the wall.  Ella body curled around him until her head rested against his shoulder.  Her tongue darted out to lick the salty sweat from his neck.  Ella found herself placed at the edge of their bed, her legs dangling from the edge.

  
His fingers intertwined with hers and he placed their arms above her head on the mattress.  He slid into her again, the quick impatient thrusts of his cock at odds with the slow kisses he place along her neck and jaw.  Ella whispered words of encouragement interspaced with sounds of pleasure.  Her hands tightened around his as she came a second time.  They rhythmic contractions of her pussy around him had him spilling inside of her.  

  
He arraigned them on the bed, her head

pillowed against his chest and a blanket tossed over them.  Neither spoke as their breathing evened.  Ella listened to the slowing beat of his heart as it lulled her towards sleep.    
“I’m not going to goddamn lose you.  Not because of him.”  Zaeed’s rumbled promise pulled her from her haze.

  
“You won’t,” she promised.  Ella sat up and twisted so they faced each other, the blanket slipping down.  “When I’m done searching for Saren, we’ll find him together, okay?  He’s done screwing with our lives.”

  
“I can’t ask you to do that sweetheart.”

  
“You didn’t ask.  I offered.  No one’s going to blink twice if a Spectre goes after a figurehead in the mercenary world.  Together we’d be able to find him faster.”

  
His hands carded through her hair.  “Vido wouldn’t know what bloody hit him.”  Zaeed pulled Ella down until her lips hovered above his.  “But I want you goddamn safe little Ella.”

“Why do you think I’m bringing along a big, bad, bounty hunter?”  She closed the distance between them, nipping his lower lip slightly.  Her expression sobered.  “I love you, but I know you won’t be able to move on until Vido’s taken care of.”  She saw the flash of regret in his eyes.  “We’ll get him.  Together.”

  
“Together,” he agreed.


	19. Chapter 19

Ella sent her report on Virmire to Steven in the middle of the day cycle when she knew he’d be busy.  She set a course for the Citadel, handed command duties over to Pressley, and locked her cabin door.  It had taken her hours to compose the report, along with a letter to Kaidan’s parents.  When both were finally finished, Ella fished out the bottles of whiskey Zaeed had hidden in her overnight bag on and off since she had become a Spectre. 

She had just finished the first bottle when the Normandy finally docked at the beginning of the station’s night cycle.  The chime for her door sounded, but Ella chose to ignore it, along with the flashing light on both her comm terminal and omni tool.  She dumped the now empty bottle into the garbage and pried the top off of a second.  The chiming became insistent as she slid down the wall beside her bed.  Whoever had been outside the door abandoned the chimes for pounding on the door.  Ella tuned out their voice as she took a swallow from the newly opened bottle.

The hiss of an opening door had her looking up.  A blurry pair of legs clad in dress blues stepped in her line of sight.  Steven let out an annoyed sigh as he sank to the floor next to her.  “I thought ships were supposed to be dry Shepard?”

Ella let out a decidedly un-lady like snort.  “Keep telling yourself that admiral.”  She scowled at him.  “What are you doing here?  And how’d you get in?”

“I’m here because I figured you might need someone to talk to.  And your door isn’t that hard to hack.”

She couldn’t stop the harsh bark of laughter.  “The wonderful Admiral Hackett hacked my door locks?  That’s . . . kind of awesome.”

“Ella. . .”

“Don’t start okay?  I’m fine.”

He frowned at the bottle.  “Handing command to Pressley and getting drunk doesn’t seem fine kid.”

“Not a kid anymore.  Haven’t been for a while Steven.”  She took a deep swallow from the bottle.  She swirled the liquor in the bottle, staring at it instead of Steven.  “Part of life right?  Soldiers fight and they die.  Not the first time it’s happened.”

“It is the first time you’ve lost a team member under your direct command though,” he pointed out gently.

Ella contemplated her hands before raising the bottle again.  He swiped it out of her hand.  “You’ve had enough.”

“I just opened it.”

“And I saw the empty one when I came in.  You’ve had enough.”  She huffed in irritation as he examined the bottle.  “I need to have a chat with Massani.”

“No.  You really don’t.”

“Really?  Because this is his brand of whiskey.”

“So?  It’s not like he put the bottle to my mouth and forced me to drink it.  Leave it alone.”

Steven set the bottle aside.  “I’m not here to argue with you.  I want to make sure you’re okay.”

Ella crossed her arms against her stomach.  “I told you.  I’m fine.  I doubt most commanders get a personal visit from an admiral when they lose someone.”

“I’m not here as an admiral and you know it.  Alenko was part of your hand picked ground team and had your back on over half the missions.  I know you Ella.  That means something.”  Steven watched her shoulders sag and head bow.

“What if I messed up?”  The whispered words were torn from her.  “I could’ve sent Wrex to Kaidan while I helped Ash.  I . . . I could’ve done something.”  She barely registered Steven’s arm as it settled over her shoulders.  “He’s gone and it’s my fault.”  Her head slumped against his arm as the tears began to fall. 

In the years he had known her, Steven had never seen Ella outright cry.  He had seen her tear up in frustration or hurt, but never like this.  Her body shook in his arms as quiet sobs escaped her.  He murmured quiet words of comfort and ignored the tears that soaked into his uniform.  Eventually the shudders subsided and her sobbing slowed to sniffles.  Steven brushed a gentle kiss against her hair before she pulled away.

“Nothing I say will make it better,” he began.  “But from a tactical standpoint, you did nothing wrong.  It was a no win situation Ella.  Alenko was a damn fine soldier and will be remembered as such.”  His arm tightened around her once before letting go.  Steven stood and offered a hand to her.  “Let’s get you out of here Shepard.”

Confusion colored her red-rimmed eyes.  “I’m . . . where are we going?”

“I’ve ordered the ship docked for maintenance.  We’ll get the work done before you speak to the Council.”

“If it’s all the same, I’ll stay here.”

“You’re not sitting alone on the ship Ella.  I have temporary housing in the Presidium.”

She shook her head almost violently.  “No.  I won’t let the crew see me like this and I’m not going to be ambushed by some nosey reporter with a vendetta.”

“I gave your crew a 24 hour shore leave and have a skycar parked in the shuttle bay.” 

Her jaw clenched.  “Take me home then.”

Steven paused.  “Home?”

“My apartment.  Take me home.  It’s either there or I stay here.”

Faced with a stubborn, still drunk Ella, Steven agreed to take her to the Citadel apartment.  She insisted he change out of uniform, claiming it was a “work free zone.”  Her own uniform was replaced with a pair of worn jeans and a shirt that was so oversized; it had to belong to Zaeed.  Ella was half asleep by the time the skycar joined the flow of traffic.

The apartment was a surprisingly nice part of Zakera ward.  Steven half carried Ella as she gave him directions.  A young woman stood near the elevator and glared at him suspiciously.

“Ella darlin’, you alright?” 

She sent the other woman a sad, inebriated smile from the safety of Steven’s side.  “Been a bad day Elise.”

“So I can tell.  Don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite this bad.  Maybe you should stay with me and sleep it off.  Don’t wanna burden your friend there and _your man_ would be unhappy if I didn’t at least offer.”

Ella’s nose scrunched at the implication.  She glared at Steven.  “Why does everyone think that?  It’s so gross.”  Her eyes returned to Elise.  “Steven’s my family,” she said simply.  “He takes care of me.”

“Okay then.”  Elise sent Hackett one last, hard stare before entering the elevator.

“Nice neighbors.”  Steven keyed in the code since Ella’s hands weren’t steady enough to.

“Elise is nice.  She bakes cookies.  Kaidan liked them.”  Ella unwrapped herself from Steven’s side and stumbled towards the bedroom, eyes downcast.  She paused outside the door.  “We only have one bed.  The couch is comfortable though.  If you want to stay.” Ella ducked into the room before he could respond.  Steven searched through her bathroom for painkillers and brought them in to her.  They both ignored the fact that she was crying again.  He coaxed her into swallowing the pills and drinking a glass of water before she passed out from a combination of exhaustion and alcohol.   

Steven took a moment to wander through the apartment.  Overstuffed furniture dominated the living room.  Each piece had its own blanket tossed across the back.  A well-stocked wet bar sat unobtrusively in a corner.  The kitchen was bright and oddly airy for an apartment.  A second smaller bedroom had been turned into a small armory.  He recognized Jessie sitting in case, with Ella’s Pinnacle next to it.  In all the rooms, pictures from various locations hung from the walls.  There were no people in them, but each had obvious significance.  With a drawn out sigh, he keyed up a message.

_S.H.- Where the hell are you Massani?  I sent you a message more than twelve hours ago._

_Z.M.- Don’t get your goddamn knickers in a twist Steven.  I’m on a bloody bounty.  Where do you think I am?_

_S.H.- Not where you should be._

_Z.M.- What do you mean by that?_

_S.H.- Ella lost a member of the ground crew on Virmire.  I found her drowning her sorrows in the cabin of the Normandy.  Oddly enough she was using your favorite brand of whiskey._

_Z.M.- Fuck._

_S.H.- Exactly.  She’s sleeping it off now.  Nice apartment by the way._

_Z.M.- Thanks.  I can be back on the Citadel in . . . 24 hours.  Can you stay with her?_

_S.H.- She meets with the Council in the morning, but I’ll do my best._

_Z.M.- I gotta go.  Time to wrap this goddamn bounty up.  Don’t let her do anything stupid, will you?_

_S.H.- I’ll try._

Steven awoke the next morning to multiple urgent messages chiming onto his omnitool simultaneously.  He knew at once Ella was gone.  A pillow was tucked under his head and a blanket draped over his shoulders.  Neither of which he remembered grabbing.  His jaw cracking yawn gave way to cursing when he read Udina’s scathing message, followed by Anderson’s admission of piracy.  He promised to meet both men at the embassy as soon as possible. 

Steven shot a single message off to Ella.  _“I hope you know what you’re doing.  Keep yourself safe.”_   He didn’t expect a response as he keyed up a second chat.

_S.H.- Remember how I promised to try and keep her from doing something stupid?_

_Z.M.- What the goddamn hell did she do?_

_S.H.- The Normandy and crew are now officially mutineers._

_Z.M.- Goddamn bloody hell._

_S.H.- Get your ass here.  She’s going to need all the support she can get once the council finds out._

_Z.M.- I’ll shoot the bloody bastards._

_S.H.- How about diplomacy first, shooting later?_

_Z.M.- Shootings always a good first idea.  But that’s why you’re the admiral, not me._

_S.H.-Zaeed. . ._

_Z.M.- Bugger off Steven.  You know you’re impressed with your daughter.  Even if you won’t admit it._

_S.H.- Yeah.  I really am._


	20. Chapter 20

Ella paced the length of her cabin on The Normandy, reviewing the events of the day.  Only a few hours had passed since they had liberated the frigate. Once they were safely away from the Citadel, she ordered radio silence, including outgoing chats and extranet searches. That, paired with the stealth drives meant they were nearly invisible in the depths of space.  She had Joker head towards the coordinates they had for Ilos before conferring with her ground team.

Garrus and Wrex would be accompanying her once they made it planet side.  The three had prepared the best they could with the little information they had.  Ash and Tali had both requested to accompany her, but Ella was wary they were still emotionally compromised.  She was too, if Ella was completely honest with herself.  Losing Kaidan had been a blow to the entire team. 

Her fingers twisted around the necklace she wore. It had been an impulse to put it on underneath her armor that morning.  She was grateful for the impulse as her thumb now played across the red and black stones.  Ignoring her own directive, Ella pulled up a chat, only to find a message waiting for her.

_Z.M.- If you were going to go rogue sweetheart, I would’ve suggested bounty hunting._

_E.S.- Gossiping busybodies._

_Z.M.- Intelligence gathering sweet Ella._

_E.S.- Sure.  If that’s what you want to call it._

_Z.M.- I’m guessing that’s not what you wanted to talk about._

_E.S.- I . . . Look I don’t know what we’re gonna find on this mission.  And I needed to say goodbye.  Just in case._

_Z.M.- Nothing’s going to bloody happen to you._

_E.S.- We don’t know that.  It can happen at any time._

_Z.M.- This is about your crew member isn’t it?_

_Z.M.- Ella?_

_E.S.- Yes.  Kaidan didn’t get a chance to say goodbye and . . . I didn’t want that to happen to me._

_Z.M.- Goddamn it.  Don’t make it sound like you’re bloody giving up.  You’ll stop the bastard and be a big goddamn hero.  That’s what you fucking do._

_E.S.- I don’t know whether I want to punch you or kiss you right now._

_Z.M.- I don’t give pep talks.  You know that._

_S.H.- I know._

_S.H.- We’re about to make the jump.  I love you._

_Z.M.- Love you too sweetheart.  See you soon._

The fighting on Ilos, and then on the Citadel, reminded Ella of Elysium.  The bad guys were bigger, but after the same thing; enslaving and eliminating life.  But this time patching a hole in the wall was going to take a bit more than a few shipping crates, and if she failed, there was no backup on their way.  She watched as Saren shot himself and then rose from the ground, a puppet for Sovereign.  It wasn’t until Joker and the fifth fleet shot the reaper ship from the sky that life snapped back into focus.  Ella was barely able to warn Wrex and Garrus before pieces began raining down on them.

As she tried to dart under a ledge, a piece of debris slammed into her back.  A wrenching pain shot through her left arm, but Ella managed to take cover without another injury.  Silence settled over the former council hall and she feared the worst.  Eventually, the low hum of voices began to fill the room.  Ella began the tedious task of unearthing herself from the debris surrounding her.

Relief flooded through her system as she crested a large piece of ship hull.  Wrex and Garrus stood next to Captain Anderson.  The deep timbre of Wrex’s relieved laughter had her smiling.  Ella picked her way across the room, cradling her left arm.

“Forgive me if I don’t salute Captain.”

“I’ll forgive it this time Commander.”  He looked over Ella’s shoulder at the smoldering rubble.  “What the hell happened Shepard?”

“You won’t believe it David.”

“I’m looking forward to the explanation, but right now we need to get you to Huerta.”

Ella rolled her eyes, but complied.  She knew there was no way to talk her way out of getting the shoulder looked at.  Garrus announced that he and Wrex would accompany her to the hospital before commandeering a nearby skycar.  Halfway to Huerta, Wrex turned towards the wards.  He pulled out of traffic near Zakera and opened the door.  Ella stared at him from the passenger seat.

“Get out Shepard,” he commanded gruffly.  “We both know you won’t let the pyjaks at Huerta take care of you.  That wards doctor fixes you up as much as Chakwas.”

Ella smiled at him gratefully.  “Next bottle of ryncol is on me.”

“I’ll hold you to that Shepard.”

She waved at the retreating car before limping her way to Dr. Michel’s clinic.  The wards doctor whisked her into a private room.  Ella fumbled through a message to Zaeed, who promised to contact Steven before meeting her at the clinic.  The doctor was swift in her treatment.  Ella’s shoulder was popped back into place and her ribs wrapped.  She waved the assistant away and treated her own cuts and burns with medi gel.  Zaeed stepped through the door as she was finishing up. 

He dropped a bag of clean clothes next to her before tracing a thumb over her cheek.  Neither said a word as Ella wrapped her good arm around his waist and rested her forehead on his chest.  “Can we go home?”

“In a minute sweetheart.”  His hands worked their way over her back, softly.  “You’re going to give me a bloody heart attack of these days Ella.”

“When did you get back?”

“Just in time to start taking pot shots at the fucking geth when they landed.  I saw the bloody mako come through the monument.  Couldn’t fucking believe it when you tumbled out.”

“Not a monument.  The Protheans reverse engineered a one-way relay from Ilos to the Citadel.  It was our only chance.”

He brushed a kiss across her hair and inhaled the unique scent of sweat, ozone, and lilacs.  “I’m glad you goddamn made it sweetheart.”

“I love you too, you grumpy bastard.”

They reluctantly separated and he helped her into a set of clean fatigues before she strapped a sling around her arm.  Dr. Michel agreed to send her treatment records to Karin and ushered them out the back door.  The clinic had filled quickly with people injured during the attack and Ella wanted to avoid the crowds. 

The trip back to the citadel apartment was uneventful and quiet.  Ella didn’t offer up any more information on what happened and Zaeed didn’t ask.  She had just gotten settled on the oversized chair when someone began pounding on the door.  With a scowl, Zaeed opened it to find a very pissed off Steven waiting on the other side.   He ignored the younger man and headed straight towards Ella.

“What in the hell were you thinking Ella?”

She was taken aback by the anger in his voice.  “I wasn’t going to sacrifice the council Steven.  It’d be a galaxy wide shit storm.”

He frowned.  “I don’t care about the Council.  You _disappeared_.  I got a frantic message from David saying you never made it to Huerta.  I’ve spent the past two hours searching and thinking the worst.”

“I sent you a bloody message telling you where she was Steven.” Zaeed’s voice was uncharacteristically calm.

“You think I was checking messages?  I’ve been a bit preoccupied.”

“Don’t get angry at him.  It was my choice not to go to Huerta.  Zaeed just came to pick me up.”  Ella tugged Hackett’s coat sleeve to make him face her.  “I didn’t want to go to the hospital.”

“Care to tell me why?”

“Because I wanted a few hours to regroup without being a Spectre or Commander Shepard.  Is that okay with you, Dad?”  Both Ella and Steven froze at the name.

Zaeed swore quietly and walked towards the door.  “I think you two need to bloody talk.”  The two stared at each other as the bounty hunter walked out of the room.  Steven eventually settled on an ottoman near her feet. 

“Dad huh?”  His voice was oddly rough.

Ella picked at a loose thread on the chair.  “Well . . . yeah, I guess.  It makes sense doesn’t it?”  She glanced up at him.  “I uhh, I won’t say it again if it bothers you.”

Steven’s hand settled on her knee.  “You’ve been my daughter for years now Ella.  I wasn’t going to push you into calling me something you weren’t comfortable with.”

I don’t if I can call you that all the time,” she warned softly.  “I’m not sure if I’m ready for that.”

“Ella, you can call me Steven or Dad.  Whatever you’re comfortable with.  You’ll always be my little girl.”

She leaned forward and wrapped her good arm around him carefully.  “I couldn’t have picked a better parent you know?  I kinda lucked out that day.”

“We both did kiddo.”  He pulled back and rested his hands on her shoulders.  “After your debrief with the Council, the Alliance is going to want their own reports, then I think you’ve earned a pretty decent amount of shore leave.  I can get the Admirals onto Arcturus if you’d like to spend some of that shore leave with me.  We can . . . figure out this new facet in our relationship.”

“I promised Zaeed some time.  We have some . . . plans.  But, yeah, I’d like that.”

“It’s a deal then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the over 2 week delay. Holiday and then life happened. I promise to be back onto a more normal posting schedule now.


	21. Chapter 21

_E.S.- You haven’t left on a bounty yet have you?_

_Z.M.- Not yet.  Why?_

_E.S.- Because ten minutes after being medically cleared I got a summons to see the Council.  I’m heading back to the Citadel._

_Z.M.- Thought you were on goddamn shore leave?_

_E.S.- So did I.  Steven claims to have no idea what they want._

_Z.M.- Need me to pick you up from the transport?_

_E.S.- No.  The Normandy’ll be ready to go in 12 hours.  They pulled Joker off his leave too.  I have a feeling I’m back on duty._

_Z.M.- fuckers._

_E.S.- Yeah.  My thoughts exactly._

_Z.M.- I’ll see you soon sweetheart._

The meeting with the council went as expected.  Geth were apparently seen along the edge of the traverse and no one but the esteemed Spectre Shepard could quell irrational fears.  The newly retired Alliance Fleet Admiral signed off on the request just before handing control over to Steven.  It was a fuming Ella that made her way from the Presidium to her wards apartment. 

Zaeed was in the spare bedroom they had renovated into a mini armory.  She sidled up to him at the workbench and grabbed Penny.  Ella never got rid of the original Pinnacle Zaeed had given her.  The old girl didn’t shoot reliably any longer, but had earned the right to sit in a case next to Jessie after Elysium.  They had passed more than a few nights hip to hip lovingly caring for their special weapons. 

Ella took out her frustration by cleaning Penny until she shone.  Zaeed wordlessly handed her supplies as she needed them.  She placed a now gleaming Penny back into her case and hopped up onto the workbench.  Zaeed settled into the cradle of her legs, his hands resting on her waist.

“They’re fucking sending me to the edge of the Terminus systems.  Apparently the Geth have been sighted possibly scoping out colonies.”

“Doesn’t sound like the geth to me.”

“I know.  But I’m ‘a shining beacon of interstellar cooperation’.  Who else would they send?”

He chuckled softly.  “You’re the council’s new big goddamn hero.  Of course they’d send you.”

Ella twined her hands behind his neck.  “I had other plans.”  She couldn’t hide the petulant tone.

He sobered, hands tightening on her waist slightly.  “And we’ll still get the goddamn bastard.  Vido’s days are numbered.  If I find anything from my contacts, you’ll be the first to bloody know.” 

“I know, but I was looking forward to spending more than a few weeks together.  I find myself missing you when we’re apart.” Ella pressed a soft kiss to his scarred cheek.

“I do too sweetheart.”  He pulled away and tugged her off the bench and into the living area.  “When do you ship out?”

“Twenty four hours.  I’ve already messaged Ash and Pressley.  They’re both in.  The rest of my crew is new.”

“Well then sweetheart, I’m taking you on a date.”

Ella raised an eyebrow in disbelief.  “We don’t go on dates Zaeed.  Vacations? Yes.  Dinner? Yes.  Dates? Not so much.”

“Then it’s time I bloody fixed that isn’t it?  Go get dressed sweetheart.” He gave her a teasing slap on the ass that had her eyes rolling. 

“Bastard,” she called over her shoulder as he headed into the bathroom and she went to the bedroom.  Ella contemplated her closet.  She didn’t have a wide selection of what one would call date clothes.  At a loss, she settled on a black tunic and white pants.  A pair of purple boots and jewelry that Elise convinced her to buy on their last shopping trip finished off the outfit.  She left her hair loose.  It amazed Ella that people didn’t seem to recognize her when the tumbling mass wasn’t contained in a ponytail or bun.

Zaeed was waiting for her in the living room.  She drank in the sight of him dressed in a pair of dark grey slacks and a button down white shirt.  The casual elegance had her smiling.  “I’ll say it again.  You clean up nice Massani.” 

“So do you sweetheart.”  He offered her an arm as they left the apartment. 

Ella fully admitted their relationship was nontraditional.  In the nearly decade they had been together, Ella couldn’t remember them going on an official date.  They fit in vacations on shore leaves or dinners out together on the Citadel.  From the start their time together was finagled between his contracts and her leave time, so Ella wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

They made their way to the Kithoi Ward and a decent reproduction Irish pub.  Warm bread and shepherd’s pie was washed down with stout, dark beer.  Ella told him about her time spent with Steven and he filled in a few of the black holes that made up his past.   

After dinner, they wandered the wards, ending up in an asari-run casino.  Ella dabbled in a few games of quasar while Zaeed put his luck into roulette.  Eventually, they wound up at a table in the bar that overlooked a dance floor and game tables.  A waiter delivered their bottle of whiskey and glasses.

Ella pointed to a young asari dancing with a drell after she poured both of them generous glasses.  “Tell me a story.”

Zaeed cocked an eyebrow.  “A story?”

“Yeah.  Give me their backstory.  Tragic or not.”

He was hesitant at first, but warmed quickly.  One would point out an individual or couple, and the other would weave a story.  Some were complex and twisted, some simple but tragic, and others humorous or deadly.  Slowly, the stories trailed off until they sat in easy silence, Ella’s hand resting under his.  She leaned against him, head against his shoulder.  “This was fun.  I think we need to date more often.”

She felt soft puff of air at his amused laugh.  “Guess we will sweetheart.”  His lips ghosted over the crown of her head.  “Let’s go home sweet Ella.” They collected Ella’s winnings and hailed rapid transit.  His arm wrapped around her shoulders as they walked from the vehicle to their apartment.  As they approached the door, Ella twisted under his arm to face him.

She sent him a coy smile.  “Know how first dates usually end?” 

“I have an idea sweetheart.”  He pressed her back up against the door as he skimmed a kiss over her lips.  It was ridiculously chaste and incredibly sweet.  She felt his lips curve against hers before he pulled away without deepening it. 

With a mischievous grin of her own, Ella opened the apartment door and slid inside, letting the doors snap shut in his face.  She made it halfway across the living room before a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and tugged her back.  Laughter filled the room as Zaeed scooped her up into a fireman’s hold and stalked towards their bedroom, grumbling under her breath.

She was still laughing when he dropped her in the middle of the bed and knelt next to her, attacking the buttons on her pants.  Ella swatted his hands away playfully.  “What kind of girl do you think I am?  Putting out on a first date?” 

“My kind of girl,” a possessive edge tinged his words.

“That I am,” she agreed on a laugh, toeing at her boots.  Zaeed stopped her, pulling her leg up to rest against his chest.

“That night in Ireland, the first night we shared a bed, you had on boots that were goddamn sin.”  His hands traced the short zipper of her boots and along her pants, up to her knee.  “I took you back to your room and watched you peel them from your legs and imagined what you looked like under those bloody black jeans.  It was exquisite torture sleeping next to you that night.”  He took off the first boot and lowered her leg, repeating the motion with her other.  “And now . . .” He paused a moment to take in the sight of Ella spread out in the center of the bed.

“And now what?” she prompted quietly.

“Now I know what’s under those bloody clothes and it’s exquisite torture waiting to take them off of you again.”  He drank in her lazy smile as he stretched his body over hers to capture her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella's Outfit: http://missmeggo929.tumblr.com/post/68023154286/ellas-date-night
> 
>  
> 
> I do promise to update a bit more frequently. The past month has been crazy and things should *hopefully* be settling down again!


	22. Chapter 22

Linc had just managed to fall asleep when someone began pounding on the door to his cabin.  Heedless of his sleep clothes, he let the distraught looking marine in with a scowl.  “What in the hell is so important you had to interrupt the four hours of sleep I get?”

“Automated distress beacon, sir.”  The young man stammered through words.  “It’s . . . it’s the Normandy sir.”

Linc straightened, sleep completely forgotten.  “Have they responded to any of our comm requests?”

“No sir.  We’re the closest Alliance vessel.  Approximately three hours out if we leave now.”

“Get a course set.”

Linc changed into a fresh uniform and headed to the CIC.  He kept a silent vigil over the galaxy map, watching as they approached the automated beacon.  The nearly desperate hails sent to the Normandy were met with static.  As they approached Alchera, Linc made his way towards the pilot.

The Normandy was gone.  Pieces of debris floated above the atmosphere.  He picked out multiple rescue pods and sent up a silent prayer to whatever deity oversaw this corner of the galaxy that Ella was on board one of them.  Linc set to work, barking orders to have the escape pods collected and sending reports back to Arcturus.

The elevator trip to the engineering deck felt like it took years.  His gaze never wavered from the doors, adamant his best friend would be waiting for him inside one of those pods.  The crew began the painstaking task of triaging the Normandy’s crew.  Pods were opened, names were compared to the ship’s crew logs, and injuries assessed.  The worst were taken directly to medical, while those who were uninjured were sent to give reports of what exactly happened.

With each passing pod, the knot in Linc’s throat grew tighter.  Each door opened and the same question was asked, “Where is Commander?  Is she hurt?”  Linc did his best to soothe worried crew members.  When he pulled Williams from a pod, their eyes met in mutually growing despair.

The last pod was empty except for a lone survivor.  Joker sat strapped in, cradling his obviously broken arm against his chest.  He wouldn’t meet their eyes.  Linc grabbed the edge of the pod for support, mind reeling that _she wasn’t there._

“Ella?”  Linc winced at the desperate note in his voice, the unasked question.  The despondent pilot shook his head once before a medical team ushered him up to the med bay.    

He fled the engineering deck and made it back to his quarters before he lost control.  Linc’s hand made contact with the bulkhead as he blinked back tears.  His terminal began to chime an incoming vidcall.

_Hackett._

* * *

The message came in during the middle of dinner.  His yeoman, obviously dressed for off duty activities, rushed into his dinner meeting.  He’d never see the woman look frantic before.

“Admiral Hackett, sir, we’ve begun receiving messages from our ships in the Terminus Systems.  Two of them have received automated distress signals from The Normandy.”

His dining guests excused themselves quickly at that point.  Steven and the yeoman made their way to his office where briefings were beginning to arrive.  He said a silent thank you when he realized Commander Marshall’s ship would be the first to arrive on scene in Alchera.  Ella would need a familiar face.  He refused to contemplate anything other than her safe return.

Steven spent the next hours in contact with Anderson.  The council would want to be kept abreast on the situation.  He debated contacting Zaeed, but decided against it.  No one needed a repeat of Elysium and Steven wouldn’t put it past his friend to commandeer a ship and fly off halfcocked.

The first report back from Linc had him reeling.  The ship was gone; a debris field the only indicator the anything had ever been there.  Escape pods had been jettisoned and his team was rounding up survivors.  The young commander promised an update when they were through opening the pods.

Steven waved the others from his office and he waited alone.  An hour passed, then two and no word from Marshall.  Impatient, he hailed the young officer.  The incessant beeps cut through the empty office until Linc made the connection.  One look at the man and Steven’s stomach sank.

“I need a sitrep Commander.”  Steven was surprised at how steady his voice seemed.

“We’ve opened all the manned pods, sir.  A majority of the crew survived with minor injuries.  Moreau and another are currently receiving more intense medical treatments.”

“Losses?”  He watched Linc’s eyes darken.

“Twenty one are presumed dead sir. In . . . including Ella.”  Nothing could disguise the cracking of Linc’s voice.  The two men stared at each other through the vidcomm, neither quite sure what to do next.  The chimes of Linc’s door broke through the silence. “I have to go now sir.”

“Understood Commander.  Please . . . keep me informed of any changes.”

“I will sir.  We’re sending a recovery team to the planet’s surface.  If anything changes . . .” he trailed off.

“Hackett out.” He cut the link and pressed thumb and forefinger into his eyes as he sank onto the couch.  There was no disguising the tears that he couldn’t keep contained.  His daughter adopted or not, had been taken from him.  Even with a suit and oxygen, no one survived falling through atmosphere. 

He reined in the desire to throw things, instead sending off a message to Anderson and the rest of the council.  Steven ignored the persistent video hails that began almost immediately.  There was no way he could handle another vid call.  The message would have to do.  Unable to wrap his mind around the ramifications or damage control, he slipped from the office and blindly made his way home.  It was only when he entered the silent apartment that he remembered Zaeed.

* * *

Some part of his gut made him turn his omni tool back on.  Ella had a lead on Vido and promised an update within the day.  They both knew communication right now would be sketchy at best.  Anything coming or going from Omega was open game for being hacked and neither wanted that.  His bounty was a paranoid bastard and he didn’t need anything giving him away until he was separated from his goon squad.

A single message awaited him when the program.  Steven had simply written “call me.”  It was time stamped a few hours previous.  The simple words shouldn’t have made him pause, but they did.  Zaeed melted into the dark alleyways of the station and pulled up the most secure channel he could.

He was startled by the red rimmed eyes and haggard face that met his over vid chat.  “You look like bloody hell.  What happened?”

“There was . . . A ship was . . .” Steven couldn’t seem to form the words.    

“Spit the goddamn words out Steven.”  Zaeed disliked the sense of panic he was beginning to feel.

“An unknown enemy shot the Normandy down over Alchera seven hours ago.”

One simple sentence stopped his world from spinning.  “Ella?”

“She wasn’t aboard the life pods.  A rescue team tried to make it to the surface, but a massive weather pattern prevented it.  No one could have survived the crash, let alone the following storm.  The Alliance and council have declared her killed in action.” 

Zaeed felt his world shatter into a million pieces.  The only person he cared about in the whole goddamn galaxy was gone.  All he could do was nod at the image of his friend and shut off the feed, ignoring Steven’s requests for him to not do something stupid.

He made his way through Omega, oblivious to the people and dangers around him.  The pulsing lights of Afterlife brought the world back into focus.  His bounty sat across the dance floor from him, four krogran bodyguards flanking him.  Zaeed watched them until they left the nightclub.  He numbly followed them into the dirty streets, unhooking his rifle. 

They turned to face him when the first bullet sunk between the merc leader’s eyes. 


	23. Chapter 23

_S.H.- I’ve started going through Ella’s room.  She left you a box._

_Z.M.- Why the bloody hell would she do that?  We had a goddamn apartment._

_S.H.- I’ve barely come to grips with that Massani._

_Z.M.- It wasn’t a goddamn secret.  At least I didn’t keep it a bloody secret._

_S.H.- I know.  Do you want me to ship the box?_

_Z.M.- Fuck.  I’ll be on the next goddamn transport.  You better fucking have whiskey._

_S.H.- I’ll pick up another bottle._

Steven closed the message box and took a drink of scotch straight from the bottle.  It had been six weeks since The Normandy went down over Alchera.  The first few weeks had passed in a swirl of interviews, investigations, and inquiries.  The public ceremony on Elysium was one of ANN’s most watched broadcasts.  That night he, Anderson, Zaeed, Linc, and Karin got drunk to Ella’s memory until none of them could walk straight. 

He hadn’t been able to open the door to Ella’s room until the night before.  Her will had been straight forward.  Her clothes she wanted donated to a woman’s shelter.  Liara, Ash, and Tali were to get very specific pieces of jewelry from her collection and her jewelry from Zaeed was given to him.  Her remaining possessions were to be given to Hackett to decide what to do with.  Anything left at the apartments were given to either Zaeed or himself.  The credits she had earned over the years were also to be divided between the two men. 

The faint scent of her lilac perfume lingered in the recycled air.  She had spent most of her recovery with him.  Her accidentally referring to him as Dad created a new maze of emotions and strings they had been working through.  Steven may have grumped over Zaeed’s presence with her once or twice, but his friend truly cared about Ella.

Finding the boxes stashed under her bed made his heart break all over again.  He pulled the crumpled letter from his pocket to reread once again.

_Steven,_

_If you’re reading this, then I guess something’s happened to me.  Not surprising.  I’m guessing Spectres don’t get to live long lives.  And I still can’t believe you put my name forward.  I guess all I still see is the scared orphan who just wanted a stupid bowl of ice cream on her birthday.  If something’s happened and I haven’t had a chance to say it, thanks.  For everything.  For wanting to take in that scared little girl.  For watching over me the best you could.  For giving me a place to stay when I first joined the Alliance.  For those extra credits you got added to my first chit.  I know it was you, so don’t try to lie.  You were the first person who put their faith in me without expecting me to jump through their hoops.  I just hope I lived up to your faith._

_Yours,_

_Ella_

The letter was dated a few days after Ella had been granted Spectre status.  There was a letter for Zaeed on top of his box.  Steven wasn’t sure how his friend would react to the contents, if it was anything like his.  With a sigh, he folded the paper carefully and placed it back in his pocket. 

The door chimed a notice that he had a visitor.  He set the bottle of scotch on the bar and went to chase the reporter, or his yeoman, away.  All he wanted was a few days to grieve in private.

The man standing at his door was not a reporter, nor his yeoman.  He was, in fact, a representative for a rather prestigious London-based university and wanted to discuss a possibility with the Admiral.  Steven reluctantly invited the young man in and offered him a scotch, which he declined.

“So, what exactly is it you want?”  Steven poured himself a glass and swirled the alcohol around in his cup.  Manners dictated he drink from a glass when he had an unknown visitor.

“The university wasn’t sure you had received our letter of condolence.  I’m sure you were besieged with them after Commander Shepard passed away.  We were also wondering if you had given any thought to our proposition.”

“I’m not aware you sent me one.”

“We were interested in setting up a Commander Shepard Memorial Scholarship fund.  The gift would go to a few deserving individuals who came up through public welfare systems like orphanages and group homes.  As the commander’s next of kin, any formal decisions would need to be made through you.”

Anger roiled through Hackett as he clenched the glass tightly.  This wasn’t the first proposition he’d received about using Ella’s name or likeness to hawk a product or group.  Even the military had decided to capitalize on her infamous name by setting up a memorial on Elysium.  Steven had been adamant any money received from said memorial go to a fitting charity.

The representative cleared his throat, pulling Steven away from his musing.  “I’m not interested in granting the Commander’s name to a group she had no previous connections with, good intensions or not.”

“I see.  We thought as a graduate of the university-“

“A what?” 

The man’s eyes widened at Steven’s suddenly sharp voice.  “The commander holds two degrees from our programs.”

“In what?  And when?”

“She received a degree in Xenogenic Studies four years ago and one in Intergalactic Politics two years ago.”

Steven contemplated the man again.  “Have her records forwarded to my account and I’ll review them.  I’ll be in contact with a final decision.”

The representative promised delivery of the records promptly and said his goodbyes.  Steven returned to her room and began combing through datapads she had stored neatly in a crate at the back of her closet.  He couldn’t contain a watery chuckle as he found a few that contained information on both subjects near the back.  He threw the datapad back and decided to wait until Massani arrived.  Steven intended to find out why Ella hadn’t told him about her education. 

* * *

He slept longer than expected thanks to the scotch.  Steven had just finished preparing a very late breakfast in an effort to chase away the hangover when Zaeed let himself into the apartment.  The bounty hunter looked worn out and pissed off.  He shoved a plate across the table and they ate in silence. 

Zaeed walked to the bar and cracked open a bottle of whiskey and Steven grabbed the near empty bottle of scotch.  The two men made their way into her room and stared miserably at her belongings.  Steven broke the uncomfortable silence.

“Did you know she went to college? Twice.”

Zaeed stared at him in shock.  “When the bloody hell did she do that?”

“So you didn’t know?”

“No, I didn’t goddamn know.”

Steven pulled up the documents the university has sent over.  Ella had taken accelerated classes during shore leaves or in addition to regular military trainings.  It took her nearly seven years to complete the first degree.  Large gaps in time passed while she was on confidential missions and trainings, yet she managed to finish both near the top of her class.  “Why the hell wouldn’t she tell us this Zaeed?”

“She ever tell you the gang followed her most of her goddamn military career?  Tried to force her into working for them?”

Steven glared at the other man.  “No.  I didn’t.”

“Course not.  She didn’t want you to bloody worry.  I didn’t know until a few months ago.  The stupid bloody woman was so determined to keep her past from following her; she kept parts of herself walled off from me.  And you apparently.”

“I didn’t care.  She knew that.”

“Didn’t fucking matter.  She cared about it.  My guess?  Those two goddamn diplomas were another way she tried to prove to herself she wasn’t a street rat anymore.”

Steven didn’t have an answer for that.  He knew it was true.  If he had known how much his adopted daughter warred with her past, Steven would have done . . . something.  He watched Zaeed open the letter sitting on the crate labeled with his name.  His hands curled around the paper, creasing the edges slightly.  With a muttered curse he stormed out of the room towards the balcony.

Zaeed’s hands trembled as he lit the cigarette.  He shoved the paper into Steven’s hands.  “Stupid fucking woman,” he muttered.  Steven glanced over the letter.

_Zaeed,_

_So, I guess if you’re reading this, Steven’s found the boxes I’ve left and I’m probably gone. We both knew when I became a Spectre something might happen to me, even if neither of us said anything.  I just . . . I love you.  I have for as long as I can remember.  I love how you never expect me to be anyone but me.  How you drag me off to new colonies and planets because you have cabin fever.  I love watching you sleep and that you’re always there when I wake up.   I’ve never felt quite as safe as I do when you’re near.  But, I know you Zaeed.   Don’t let my death consume you.  Don’t chase down ghosts or try to avenge me._

_Just please, remember me as I was._

_Ella_

Steven’s eyes were suspiciously damp after reading the letter.  He handed it back without speaking.  Eventually they made it back into Ella’s room and opened their respective crates.  Steven’s held holos of them at various functions and events, plus the occasional vacation they took.  A hardbound first edition book on space stations sat near the bottom.  It wasn’t the copy he had given her anonymously as a child, but seemingly just as important.  One of his dress hats she had stolen off his head at a formal reception had yellowed slightly. 

Zaeed’s similarly held holos of them on vacations and shore leaves.  He refused to put them up at the apartment in case someone ever broke in.  She laughed about his paranoia, but apparently stashed them anyways.  Silly trinkets he sent her over the years when he was away on jobs also filled the box.  Near the bottom were some of the older mods he had sent for her first pistol.  She hadn’t used the weapon in years.  It sat on a workbench in the apartment next to Jessie.

It took nearly a day, but they managed to get her clothes boxed up and prepared for donations.  Steven left her hats sitting in the closet and Zaeed didn’t argue with him.  They boxed up her jewelry and datapads and put it back in the closet.  Neither was willing to part with anything they didn’t have to.  They finished off by getting drunk and reminiscing about the blue eyed slip of a girl who had stolen their hearts so many years before.


	24. Chapter 24

One year.

It had been an entire goddamn year since some unknown ship shot down The Normandy and taken Ella away from him.  Zaeed didn’t believe the council’s statement that it was the geth.  Neither did Steven, even if he hadn’t actually said anything.  They had fought when the statement had been released.  He hated that Steven let them manipulate Ella’s death into a publicity stunt while burying the real cause.  The two men hadn’t spoken in months.

Zaeed hadn’t spoken to anyone in months truth be told.  He stopped taking most bounties and the ones he did had low survival odds.  His Citadel apartment sat empty.  Elise still sent him occasional messages saying she stopped by to clean or air the place out.  Each message was a bullet through his heart.

Omega was his home now, if you call it that.  He spent most of his time in little shit hole apartments until they kicked him out.  Occasionally he’d take out a Blue Suns merc for the hell of it, but he left most of that to Archangel.  The enigmatic man, or woman, settled on Omega not long after he did.  He avoided Afterlife for the most part, but not tonight.

He had caught sight of an ANN broadcast while wandering the streets earlier that day.  Hackett stood at the base of a newly formed monument on Elysium.  It was meant to “honor” the great Commander Shepard.  All he saw was a ploy by the council and alliance to use Ella’s name.  The haunted look on his friend’s face had him finding the nearest bar.

He barely sat down when an asari waitress brought him a halfway decent bottle of whiskey.  “Aria says if you’re going to drown your sorrows, you might as well not be drinking the shit you call beer.”  The young female gave him a once over.  “If you decide you want company, I’m off in a few hours.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”  Zaeed forgot the asari promptly after she left the table.  He poured a very generous three fingers and saluted the self-proclaimed queen of Omega, earning him a miniscule nod in return.  He slumped into the booth, embracing the numbing haze of whiskey.

The bottle was a third of the way done when the cat suit clad brunette slid into the booth across from him.  “Not interested,” he nearly growled before returning to his glass.

“You don’t even know what I’m offering Mr. Massani.”

“Don’t goddamn care.  I’m not interested.”

“I’m putting together a team for –“

“What part of not fucking interested didn’t you understand,” he snarled.

She slid a datapad across the table to him.  “The part where I can not only offer you a great deal of credits, but the chance to save the human race with humanity’s first Spectre.”

His hand flexed around the glass he held.  “Too goddamn late lady.  Or haven’t you heard the great Commander Shepard died last year.”  The woman’s self-satisfied smile set him on edge.

“Death isn’t necessarily permanent Mr. Massani.  And if the credits aren’t enough to persuade you, maybe the whereabouts of Vido Santiago will get your attention.”

“You know where Vido is?”

“We have someone on the inside, yes.”

“Who exactly is ‘we’ lady?”

“Our organization is dedicated to the advancement of the human race,” she replied enigmatically.

He stared at her a moment.  “Terra Firma has shit for funding so you’re with bloody Cerberus.”

“Very good Mr. Massani.”

“I’m a goddamn bounty hunter, not an idiot.”

“Now that I have your attention, would you like to hear more?”

“Don’t need to bloody hear more.  Half the credits up front and the information on Santiago.”

“Quarter of the credits up front and when Commander Shepard is ready to go, we’ll forward you the information on Santiago.  You’ll need the help Mr. Massani.”

“Half the goddamn credits up front and Shepard brings me the information on Santiago.”

“Done.  We’ll be in touch.”

“Got a goddamn timeline princess?  Or a name?”

“I’m Miranda.  You’ll know the timeline soon enough.  Enjoy your drink.”  Her sales pitch apparently finished, Miranda stood and left him alone with his thoughts. 

Zaeed abandoned the half empty bottle of whiskey and made his way back to his latest bolt hole.  The rundown apartment smelled of sweat and stale alcohol.  He paced the small living quarters as he contemplated the last hour.

Ella was dead.  He was sure of that.  She would never let him, let alone Steven, believe she was dead for over a year.  So that meant Cerberus was using her likeness or, even worse, a clone to further their own agenda.  Zaeed couldn’t let that happened, no matter how good the cause was.

Anger bubbled in him.  Not only would he not let Ella’s memory be used like that, he wouldn’t let them hurt Steven even more.  His friend would cling to the hope that Ella was alive if he knew.  With the amount of power Steven had, he’d be a formidable ally for Cerberus.  They wouldn’t hesitate to use a clone to gain access to the alliance fleet admiral.

So, he would wait.  Cerberus would come calling again.  And he would handle whatever machine, or clone, wore Ella’s face.  But not before finding out where Vido was.  Killing Vido would be a fitting tribute to her.  And when that was taken care of, well, the credits Cerberus was willing to pay him up front would make a decent down payment on a ship and a deck full of explosives.  Might as well take care of the shit hole that was Omega into hell with him.

 


	25. Chapter 25

The shaking started when she got into the cabin of the new Normandy.  The room was too big, had too many blind spots.  Not to mention a terror inducing sky light.  Ella could only imagine the nightmares she’d have waking up under that thing.

She sought refuge in the bathroom, but that wasn’t much better.  The glowing scars mocked her from the mirror.  Chakwas assured her that the scars would fade with time or, if she was impatient, surgery.  Ella wasn’t convinced, but she wouldn’t tell the doctor that.  Finding Karin and Joker after waking from death had been her only comforts so far.

Ella shuddered and shied away from thinking of her death.  The past two days had been surreal. One moment she was panicking, trying to plug the leak in her suit and the next moment a voice was yelling at her that she needed to fight.

Her response was automatic and engrained.  Ignoring a yelling voice on the street meant the cops, or worse, found you.  So she woke and fought through a strange ship where she had to rely on a very group who she despised.  Ella had never forgiven Cerberus for Akuze, for what they did to Linc.  To find herself now on a ship emblazoned with the symbol felt like the worst type of betrayal to her friend.  One more insult added to a list longer than she cared to think about.    

She hadn’t believed them at first.  There was no possible way she had been gone two years.  Finding Tali on Freedom’s Progress destroyed that notion.  Her quarian friend’s icy reception at the colony was the confirmation she needed.  Then Joker had shown up and taken her to the Normandy.  After her conversations with both him and Karin, all Ella had wanted was to hole up in her compact cabin, only to find out Miranda had taken it and she had this monstrosity of a captain’s cabin.  At a loss, she told Joker to head to the Citadel.

Ella waited until the night cycle began before venturing out again.  The mess was blessedly empty when she grabbed a few ration bars and fled to the engineering deck.  Someone had set up a cot in the cargo hold, which was all she really needed.  She preferred the smaller space.  Plus she could see the door from just about every angle in the room.

Curled up on the small cot, Ella contemplated Zaeed and Steven.  To her knowledge, neither man realized she was . . . undead.  She doubted either would respond well to her reappearance.  Not that they wouldn’t be happy eventually, but Zaeed in particular had a hard enough time trusting people on a good day.  If he thought she had been lying to him for the past few years, well, Ella didn’t want to guess at his reaction.

She was still awake when they docked on the Citadel.  With Joker’s help she slipped past The Illusive Man’s handlers and got lost in the Citadel crowds.  She made a quick stop to buy clothes that didn’t have the Cerberus logo plastered over it before heading to the wards. Ella was standing outside the apartment when she realized Zaeed may have moved on in the past two years.  The thought had her almost doubled over in pain.  For Ella, it had been less than a month since they had seen each other compared to the two years it had really been.  With a deep breath, she entered her door code.

It opened.  The doors closed with a quiet snick behind her.  “Zaeed?”  Her call was quiet, tentative.  There was no response and she ventured farther into the darkened home.  Not much had changed in two years.  The only additions seemed to be the holos Ella had left him in the box on Arcturus.  Ella trailed a finger across the faces that smiled at her from a frame on the wall.  So lost in thought, she didn’t notice the sound of the door opening behind her.

He hadn’t expected it to be standing in the apartment.  Cerberus had contacted him two days ago, requesting he finish up his bounties and be prepared to meet Commander Shepard on Omega.  Zaeed planned to visit their apartment one last time before disposing of the machine, or clone, they were parading around as his Ella.

For one brief moment, he could almost imagine it was her.  They even got the clothes right.  Dark jeans and a soft looking grey shirt were topped by a cropped off leather jacket and gray riding boots hugged the trim figure that haunted his dreams.  The memories were doused when she turned and Zaeed caught sight of the glowing scars.  He had it pinned against the wall, knife held loosely against its neck in moments.  

Zaeed’s heart clenched one as eyes that matched Ella’s stared at him in shock.  “I don’t goddamn know how you got in,” he growled at it, “but you’re not fucking walking out of here alive.”

“Zaeed,” it breathed at him.

“Quiet,” he ordered.  “What are you?  A clone?  A goddamn VI?”

It struggled slightly against his hold.  “It’s me Zaeed,” the voice insisted.  “Cerberus brought me back.”

“Ella died.  You don’t fucking come back from that.”  His knife slid closer to her neck.  “I won’t let you goddamn you use her.”

“Listen to me Zaeed,” it pleaded quietly.  “It’s me.  I can prove it.”

His laugh was harsh.  “Not bloody likely." 

“Fuck this,” it murmured and he found himself thrown across the room by a small burst of biotic energy.  It straddled his chest, throwing his knife to the side and pinned his hands to the floor.  “Listen to me for just a minute you bastard.  I can prove it’s me.”  It waited until he met those crystal clear blue eyes.  “I met you inside an ice cream shop when I was twelve.  You scared an older boy away from me and called Steven to come get me.  When I was fifteen I watched Vido Santiago try and shoot your face off and managed to scare him off, but I didn’t tell you that until years later.  The morning after Elysium in fact.  We didn’t speak for months after you found out.  You and I are the only ones who know most of that Zaeed.”

He stilled under her and she paused to look at him.  “Please believe me.  I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t.”  Zaeed still didn’t respond and she let out a defeated sigh, sitting back.  His hands shot out and curled around her, pulling her up against his chest.

“Zaeed?”  Her voice was muffled against his shirt.

“You’re goddamn alive,” he murmured against her hair, tightening his grip on her.

“Yeah.”  He felt her shudder out a breath, then two.  Her shoulders began to shake.

“Ella.”  Zaeed pulled her away slightly.  Tears marred her cheeks.  “Sweetheart, what’s the matter?  I believe you.”

Her head dropped back against his chest.  “I woke up alone,” she whispered.  “There were gunshots and voices yelling at me.  I didn’t know where I was.  No one was there.”

The tearful admission erased any lingering doubts. Only he, Steven, and Linc knew her terror of waking alone in strange places.  Zaeed pulled her tight against him.  “You’re safe now sweetheart.  I got you.”  He held her as the shudders wracked her body.

Eventually Ella pulled away slightly and wiped the tear trails off her face.  “I really hope Steven doesn’t react the same way you did.  I’m not sure I can handle it.”

“He doesn’t know yet?”

“I came here first.  I . . . needed to know if you were still here.  Or if you had moved on.”

“I’m still here sweet Ella.  But you need to let Steven know.”

“I know.  Anderson sent me a message.  It’s why I’m on the Citadel.  I’m hoping he can arrange a face to face meeting.  I don’t want to tell him over vidcomm.”

“Want me to go with you?”

“No.  I . . . I’ll be fine.  Will you go to the Normandy and wait for me?  I don’t wanna be alone on the ship.”

“I need to pack a bloody bag, but I’ll meet you at the damn ship.”  He pulled her down one last time to brush his lips against hers.  “I can’t goddamn believe it.  I don’t bloody understand how, but I’m glad you’re back.”

Ella pressed a soft, familiar kiss along the edge of his scar.  “I’ll leave you to pack.”  She pulled away reluctantly and stood.  “Meet you at the ship,” she called softly before stepping through the door.

She made her away to the Presdium quickly.  Zaeed’s response gave her a clear idea of what exactly she might be facing when she got to Anderson’s office.  They didn’t have quite as many moments, but Ella was sure she could figure something out.  David’s yeoman was obviously suspicious, but waved her into the office anyways.

It wasn’t David waiting for her.  Steven and Linc were both standing in front of the counselor’s desk.  Each had a weapon drawn, but thankfully not pointed at her.  Ella scrubbed her hands across her jeans nervously.  “Could we not use those today?  It’s already been a long few days.”

“I don’t know who you are,” Linc started.   He didn’t sound angry, but hurt colored his words.  He knew about Cerberus then.  

Ella cut him off.  “On our first shore leave I may have misjudged how much I had to drink.  I wound up in your hotel room instead of my own where I kissed you and promptly passed out.  The next morning you handed me a chocolate ration bar, called me ‘doll’, and said it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” She watched him blink owlishly and lower his weapon.

Steven scowled at the younger man before meeting her gaze.  “Hi Steven,” her voice was quiet, tentative.

“Commander Shepard is dead,” he said bluntly.

Ella tried to not be hurt.  “Yeah I was,” she sighed.  “I don’t understand most of it honestly, but they brought me back.  I don’t believe it and it’s happening to me.  But I can prove it’s me.”

“Major Marshall may be swayed by stories, but I won’t be.”

“I’m going to try regardless Admiral.  I’d appreciate if you’d listen to me.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll make it an order.”  She chose the phrase on purpose and was relieved when he nodded reluctantly.

“”You tried to adopt me, but couldn’t.  It wasn’t until I was an adult that I legally became a family member in the eyes of the Alliance.”

“As touching as that is, any decent search would find that information.”  His face hardened as she held up a hand.

“Yeah, but they don’t know how deep it all went.  You watched over me until I ran away.  In fact, buried somewhere in your collections of books is one you gave me anonymously for Christmas.  You took it back when I ran away.  On page 47 there’s a pretty bad doodle of an alliance cruiser.”

“I left a crate for you under my bed at the apartment in Arcturus.  In case something ever happened to me.  One for Zaeed too.”  Steven’s jaw tightened a bit as she continued.  “I called you Dad for the first time after the battle with Saren.  You were upset and scared that I didn’t go to Huerta.  Only three people know about that Steven.”

Steven tossed the pistol onto the desk and strode across the office and swept her into a bear hug.  “It’s you,” he murmured repeatedly against her hair.  Ella wrapped her arms around him and held on.  His eyes were suspiciously damp when he pulled away.

Linc took the opportunity to swoop in for his own hug.  “I knew the rumors couldn’t be true doll.”  

“Not . . . entirely.  Cerberus brought me back.  I would never choose to work with them.”

“I know doll.  I’ll let you talk to your . . . Steven.  But I’m taking you out for drinks.”

“Soon Linc.  I promise.”  

The two men nodded at each other and Linc headed for the door.  “He’s reporting back to David isn’t he?” she asked idly.

“We needed to be sure Ella.”

“I don’t blame you.  Your reaction was . . . calm compared to Zaeed.”

Ella never thought she’d be so happy to see Steven’s familiar scowl.  “You’ve already seen him?”

“I was under the impression I was meeting David,” she reminded him.  “And it wasn’t planned.  I was supposed to pick him up on Omega.”

“Pick him up?”  Steven led her to the balcony.

“Yeah.  Apparently I’m assembling a team since my original group is AWOL or unavailable.  He’s one of the members.”

“While normally I wouldn’t be excited about the two of you on the same ship, I think it this case it’s best.  He’ll keep you safe.”

“What?  I’m not able to just because I’m a zombie?”  The joke fell flat.  

Steven clasped her chin in his hands, examining the glowing scars, and then looked at her.  

Ella shrugged uncomfortably.  “Cybernetics.  Apparently they needed help putting humpty dumpty together again.”

Steven pulled her in for another hug.  “I don’t care.  You’re here and that’s what matters.”

“Can you do me a massive favor Steven?”

“I can try.”

“Can you set up some sort of dummy contact account?  No way am I not letting you know what’s going on.  Cerberus be damned.  I wouldn’t put it past them to block messages to and from each other though.  But Zaeed may be able too.”

Steven’s laugh echoed through the room.  “If I needed any more proof that’s it.  Gods I missed how innocently devious you are Ella.”

“I take after my Dad in that way.'  
  
“That you do kid.”


	26. Chapter 26

Ella finally tore herself away from Steven after a few hours. Her last stop on the Citadel was to recruit a thief. Cerberus failed to mention she would need to help Kasumi with a heist the very day they recruited her. She made her way back to The Normandy hours later than expected. An irritated looking Zaeed sat in the copilot’s chair next to Joker.

He trailed her into the elevator, ignoring her scowl. “Took your goddamn time sweetheart.”

“So, much to my surprise, Steven and Linc were waiting in David’s office. I couldn’t just leave.”

“That’s not what’s got you scowling sweetheart.”

“No, it’s the shifty thief that I recruited who needs us to fly to Bekenstein right now to infiltrate and steal a damn greybox from some weapons dealer’s party.”

“Wouldn’t happen to be Donovan Hock would it?”

“That’s the one. Why?”

“Got my own damn invite. Guess I’m going to a bloody party.”

The elevator doors opened and Ella opened her cabin with a shudder. His hand wrapped around her upper arm. “What’s the matter sweetheart?”

She sighed and stepped in. “I don’t like the cabin. It’s . . . too big. To exposed. And there’s that.” Ella pointed to the viewing window set over the bed. “There’s no way to shutter it. I tried.”

Zaeed carefully put his bags down and opened one. “Maybe we can make it feel a bit more comfortable sweetheart.” Ella watched as he pulled out a few of her favorite holos from vacations, a soft blanket she would curl up under, and Penny sitting in her case. Underneath that she caught a glimpse of her favorite sweater and jeans.

She tugged him away from the bag and into a hug. Her head rested against his chest so she could listen to his heartbeat. Zaeed ran his hands up and down her back softly before settling on her waist. His thumbs teased their way under the soft grey fabric of her shirt. Ella pulled away reluctantly and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “I have an hour to get ready and I do not need the distraction.”

His groan was heartfelt as he pulled her back towards him. “I’ve waited two goddamn years sweetheart.”

“I know, but I am not going to this party smelling of sex and whiskey.”

“Now you’re just teasing.”

“I do it so well though.”

“Mouthy bitch. I missed it.” He let her go reluctantly only to follow her into the private shower. She batted his hands away as he tried to help her undress.

“I will freeze you in a stasis, shower, and leave without you if you don’t let me get ready,” she threatened. He relented and let her shower in peace. Zaeed took a moment to unpack his bags and put Jessie and Penny into the glass display cases. Ella emerged from the small room in a cloud of lilac perfumed steam. He couldn’t resist pulling her in for a brief but intense kiss before making use of the bathroom himself. Zaeed rushed through his own shower and shave.

He took the short set of stairs down to the living area in the cabin and froze. Ella was in the process of very slowly slipping dark black stockings on. The delicate lace tops stopped mid-thigh and he nearly swallowed his tongue as she attached them to the garter straps that peeked out from under the dress hem.

He couldn’t contain the groan as she repeated the process with her other leg. Ella rolled her eyes as she stood and smoothed wrinkles from the dress. The white sheath clung to her upper body and flared just slightly at the skirt. Wide black lace emphasized the sides of the dress. “Goddamn sweetheart,” he muttered as she slid a knife into a holster strapped to her thigh. “Can’t we skip the goddamn party?”

“No. And I know that look. I’m leaving before you muss me up.” Ella stepped into the heels sitting by the stairs. Zaeed’s hand curled possessively over her hip as they waited for the impossibly slow elevator to deliver them to the CIC.

“I have something for you sweet Ella.” He handed her a well-worn jewelry box.

“Is that?”

“Yeah it is.” He opened the small box and pulled out the red and black necklace he gave her years before. Ella carefully removed it from the soft material and clasped it around her neck. Her response was cut short by the opening of the elevator doors and an overly perky thief.

The three made their way to Hock’s estate in separate shuttles. Kasumi briefed Ella on the details of the heist and what exactly she needed to do. The security guard’s suspicions of their gift drew the esteemed host himself. Hock refused to let Kasumi enter, but escorted “Allison” personally.

The weapons dealer took it upon himself to give her a tour of his home, including a private gallery. Ella let the man ramble as she catalogued the security system and guard placement. Kasumi encouraged her to keep Hock talking; they would need his voice imprint to open the vault. A hired guard let out a discreet cough to gain Hock’s attention. He escorted her back to the party and brushed a kiss against her knuckles with a murmured apology for leaving her.

She had barely taken two steps towards the vault when a hand settled against her hip and guided her to a secluded alcove. Zaeed crowded her into the shadows as his hands cradled her head. “He had his goddamn hands on you,” he nearly growled at her before claiming her lips in a desperate, possessive kiss. Ella sank her teeth into his lower lip in retaliation before sinking into the kiss. 

She pulled away reluctantly after a few moments. “While I appreciate the enthusiasm,” she murmured, “you cannot do that every time another man touches me.”

“And why the goddamn hell can’t I?”

“Because we don’t need our cover blown Massani.”

“I don’t like his hands on you.” His face set in a stubborn mask.

“I don’t like his hands on me either, but it’s part of the job. You can’t handle it, you stay ship side.”

This time he did growl. “Can’t I just shoot him in the goddamn head?”

“Sadly no. We’re here to steal, not kill.”

“Take the bloody fun out of it why don’t you.”

Kasumi’s voice crackled over the earpiece Ella wore. She sent Zaeed an apologetic look. “I need to cut power to the vault and grab a DNA sample.”

“I’ll get the bloody sample. You cut the goddamn power.”

Ella spent more time than necessary finding the power cutoff, giving Zaeed time to finish his part of the mission. She was getting ready to pull the switch when Hock reappeared at her elbow.

“What drew you to my library Ms. Gunn?”

She feigned an embarrassed smile. “You got caught me Mr. Hock. I have a passing interest in classic literature, yet haven’t had the experience of seeing so many first editions. I couldn’t pass them up.”

“Please call me Donovan,” he insisted. “I’m impressed Ms. Gunn. Most do not see the worth in literature.”

“If I can call you Donovan, then you must call me Allison.”

Hock slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow. “If you’d like, I can show you my private collection. Not now,” he apologized, “but perhaps after the other guests have left for the evening?”

“I’m sure we can arrange something,” Ella agreed, her voice nearly a purr, then turned as another joined them in the small library.

“Massani? I must admit, I’m surprised you showed up to my little gathering.” Hock seemed to forget the woman on his arm.

“I was in the goddamn area. Thought I’d come see what all the fuss was about.” His eyes slid to Ella and he smiled. “Ms. Gunn, it’s bloody good to see you again.”

“You as well Mr. Massani.”

“You two know each other?” Hock’s voice had taken on a slightly jealous note.

“Mr. Massani and I share some . . . common acquaintances from our past. So our paths have crossed.”

“I’ve goddamn enjoyed it Ms. Gunn. Have you not?” The implication was barely veiled. Ella simply raised an eyebrow in an amused smirk and tightened her hand around Hock’s arm. “Hock, I have a bloody proposition for you. Can you spare a few goddamn minutes?”

“Of course. Allison, darling, would you wait here for me while we discuss business?”

“I’d be happy too. The books will keep me from being lonely.”

The two men left, Zaeed pulling the door closed tightly behind him. Ella said a silent thank you and went about cutting the power to the vault’s security system. She met Kasumi outside the door and ignored the thief’s pointed looks. Cursing the thief’s lack of planning, therefore no under armor suit, Ella hiked the dress’s skirt up and donned her gear.

The two made their way to the vault where Kasumi easily located the greybox, but managed to trigger an alarm. They fought their way through waves of Hock’s private guard, only to get trapped. After the first YMIR Mech, Ella tapped into Zaeed’s ear piece. “We could use a little help Massani.”

“On my way Shepard. Just needed to get something. I’ll clear the way from the goddamn extraction point.”

The waves of troops kept coming and for the first time since waking up, Ella felt like herself. She wasn’t fighting Collectors or arguing with The Illusive Man, she was killing bad guys. Falling back into a rhythm, she and Kasumi fought their way through Hock’s vault until they emerged on a launch pad, only to find the bastard had a gunship.

Ella had barely taken aim, attempting to use her biotics to pull the ship down when she caught sight of Zaeed. He pulled up a rocket launcher and sent two missiles directly into Hock’s ship. The first took out the shields, while the second destroyed the aircraft. She and Kasumi focused on finishing off the ground troops.

It was a quiet group that made their way back to the Normandy. Kasumi appeared to be lost in her own thoughts and disappeared the moment the shuttle landed. Ella began stripping out of her gear to hand off to a Cerberus operative when she remembered what she had on underneath. Zaeed sent her a questioning look when she sent the young man away.

“Kasumi didn’t plan well,” she explained as she pulled away her chestplate. “She remembered my armor, but nothing else so I had to improvise.” Zaeed’s eyes darkened at the glimpse of bare thigh before Ella managed to pull the dress down. The armor wound up in a pile to be cleaned later. She had barely padded into the elevator before he spun her around and pressed her back against the wall.

The kiss was heady, tinged with desperation and barely contained emotion. Ella blindly pressed the button to her cabin, and had EDI lock the video feeds, as Zaeed’s hand slipped under the skirt of her dress, only to trace along the top of her stockings. “These are goddamn sin,” he muttered against her skin. “There were so many bloody nights I laid in our bed and thought about our times together, thinking I’d never get to goddamn repeat it. And now that you’re here, I plan to relive some of my favorites. Got a problem with that sweetheart?”

He smiled wickedly when all she could do was nod no, looking at him through wide eyes. Zaeed bunched the skirt up over her hips. “Do you remember the first night on the colony sweet Ella? You were so goddamn pissed off at me for being there. Until I did this.”

He twisted the small scrap of fabric covering her until it tore. With a devious wink he dropped to his knees and slid her leg over his shoulder. Ella’s hands dropped to tangle in his hair. He slid one hand around to rest on her ass as he licked a strip up her pussy. Ella’s back arched off the elevator wall as his tongue rediscovered the places that made her whimper and beg. 

His hands pinned her hips to the wall as lost himself in the taste and feel of her. The memories that kept him company at night the past two years paled to having his Ella twisting and whimpering under him. Zaeed was relentless, his tongue and teeth driving her to the edge with surprising swiftness. Ella let out a cry as his tongue flicked against her clit. Zaeed growled against her as he repeated the motion. The hands buried in his hair tightened as her body arched. He felt her shudder as she came with a quiet cry. Zaeed licked and soothed her through the orgasm until she rested back against the wall again. 

He let her leg drop back to the floor. He stood, an unrepentant grin plastered on his face. Ella twined her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. She licked the taste of herself from his lips as Zaeed hoisted her up into his arms.

The elevator doors opened with a silent swish as he stepped through them into the small alcove in front of her cabin. Zaeed carried her through, then turned to rest her up against the outer elevator door. “Do you remember the night of the gala sweetheart?” His voice was low in her ear. “I had you pinned against a wall in the goddamn elevator. All I could bloody think about was lifting your skirt and taking you right there.”

He nipped along her jawline as her hands dropped between them. Ella fumbled with his belt and the zipper of his pants. She grinned in triumph when her attempts were finally successful. Together they managed to push and pull fabric out of the way until Zaeed’s cock sprang free. Ella gave it a few rough strokes before sliding him against her pussy. She positioned him at her entrance and sighed when he surged into her. His thrusts were shallow, but quick. His teeth settled along her neck, nipping a path along of small bruises against her skin, her hands flexing on his neck to pull him closer. Her legs tightened around him, pulling him even closer. Between breaths, she whimpered out words of encouragement as her body tightened around him. 

Zaeed pulled her closer, supporting her ass with his hands. His thrust became more erratic as her muscles contracted around him. Zaeed felt her back bow off the wall as she let out a hoarse cry. Ella tightened almost uncomfortably around him as she came. He pushed into her one last time before spilling inside her.

They stood pressed against the wall until their breathing evened. Ella leaned forward and kissed her way along his scar. The familiar intimacy of it had Zaeed relaxing even farther. That changed when her lips reached his ear.

“You’re not the only one with favorite memories,” she murmured softly. “I seem to remember a night we barely made it in the door. You set me down on all fours on the couch and fucked me.” She felt his cock twitch in her and she grinned. “Or the day you helped make dinner by laying me down across the counter?” 

Ella loved the way his groan reverberated through his chest and into her. “Goddamn mouthy wench. I love it.”

Zaeed pulled them away from the wall, her arms and legs twining around him. “And I goddamn love you sweet Ella.”

“I love you too you grumpy bastard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella's outfit: http://missmeggo929.tumblr.com/post/69521834827/ella-parties-with-kasumi


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out I play a little loose with canon. No big changes and will still pretty much follow the storyline. Some interactions may happen with different people though.

Zaeed had hoped to get the details of Vido’s location from Ella after Hock’s party, but both were distracted with getting reacquainted with each other. He convinced Ella to postpone meeting with Aria in favor of helping him track down his bounty. Ella suggested they split the difference since his sources said batarian hadn’t left Afterlife in nearly two days. She’d meet with Aria while Zaeed handled the bounty.

He agreed reluctantly. Watching Ella work was educational. The little thief and Jacob accompanied her while he apprehended the batarian. It was obvious even from a distance Aria had taken a liking to Ella. She might not realize it, but getting the queen of Omega to have a conversation was feat worthy of bragging about. Zaeed got the batarian settled on a secure transport and rejoined the group outside of a quarian’s scrap store. Ella sent Jacob back to the ship and handed enough credits to the young alien that he could book passage off the station.

“You’re a bloody bleeding heart,” he commented.

Ella shrugged. “What better way to piss off Cerberus than give their hard earned money to an alien?”

His laughter was sharp. “Well damn sweetheart, when you put it that way.”

Kasumi’s laugh sounded as she disengaged her tactical cloak. “He’s safely at the transport, with a few extra credits in his pocket. What now Shep?”

“We find the doctor and then Archangel.”

Watching her work from the sidelines at Hock’s party had been interesting. Standing beside her, Ella was a sight to behold. Those innocent blue eyes and persuasive words worked their charms on the guards surrounding the plague infested slum. It wasn’t until she biotically charged the Blue Suns mercenaries that he saw the full range of her skills however.

Zaeed’s heart stopped for a moment when her shotgun bashed against the skull of an enemy. He provided long distance cover, hoping he didn’t accidentally catch his quick moving woman in the crossfire. In all the years they had been together, he never quite realized Ella was the type to fight up close and personal and he wasn’t sure he liked it.  
He swallowed his worries until they managed to not only recruit the ex-STG doctor, but release a cure for the plague across the slums. The fight took hours, but she barely made it back to The Normandy to restock on weapons before heading out to recruit Archangel. Zaeed caught her by the upper arm before Ella made it out of the armory.

“Sweetheart, you need to breathe.”

Ella stared at him blankly. “I don’t follow.”

“You met a goddamn krogan charge with your own sweetheart. You need to rest.”

“Zaeed, I’m fine.”

“You’re not bloody fine.”

Ella pulled away from his grasp and led Zaeed into the lab where Mordin would eventually be working. “Look Massani, I don’t know what the hell your problem is, but this isn’t my first mission. I’ve been doing this a long damn time and I don’t need you managing over my shoulder.”

His temper flared slightly. “You’re walking with a goddamn limp Shepard.”

She tugged on the collar of his armor until they stood face to face. “The faster I get this damn team together,” she murmured quietly, “the faster I get out of The Illusive Man’s slimy hands. I found two damn listening bugs in the cabin this morning. I’m sure the creep has people digging into how far back our relationship goes and it pisses me off.” 

Ella watched as his expression darkened.

“Are you coming with me you grumpy bastard, or are you staying behind?”

“And let the Cerberus flunkies cover your ass? Not a chance sweetheart.”

“No staring at my ass Zaeed.”

“You’re no goddamn fun sweetheart.”

The fight to recruit Archangel was not what either of them expected. Both Ella and Zaeed were surprised, and a bit wary, how easily the Blue Suns leader spilled details on the mission. Ella was certain Vido would know by the end of the day that she was not only alive, but in the company of his rival. What she didn’t know was how he’d respond.  
She did know he’d be unhappy at another betrayal. Both she and Zaeed took a perverse pleasure in turning on the Blue Suns troops aiming for the illusive mercenary. Two concussive rounds hit her shields, but did no damage. She didn’t have time to question the choice of ammo as they made their way across the bridge. By the time they made their way to the second floor, Ella’s curiosity was raised.

Ella fought to hold her elation back when Archangel proved to be Garrus. She left her two favorite snipers to pick off troops while she and Kasumi sealed lower entrances. The final battle between the four man squad and the various mercenary groups was vicious and taxed not only their ammo supply, but Ella’s enhanced biotics.  
Zaeed watched from the opposite side of the room as Garrus was struck by the gun ship. He heard Ella let out an anguished cry as she shot out the ship’s front window and used a biotic pull to forcibly remove the pilot. Three shots of incendiary ammo and she threw the limp body against a far wall. Ella frantically applied medi gel to her former teammate while Zaeed called for extraction.

Three hours later she paced the forward battery uselessly. Zaeed sat perched on shipping crates, watching as she paced and fretted. Her hands flitted to the base of her neck, rubbing along her jack.

“Come here sweetheart.” He waited patiently for her to stop pacing and stand in front of him. He pulled her towards him so she stood in the V of his legs. One hand curled around her lower back while the other began massaging her neck and along her jack. “Vakarian’s a tough son of a bitch sweetheart. He’ll be fine.”

“Fucking Blue Suns,” she murmured angrily. “Stupid fucking gunships.”

Zaeed’s dark chuckle reverberated through her. “We’ll get the goddamn bastard sweetheart.”

The swoosh of the battery doors opening had Ella twisting in his arms. Garrus walked in gingerly, a bandage plastered against the right side of his face. Zaeed left Ella to catch up with her friend and old teammate. He hoped the turian would soothe some of her frayed edges. Ella had only spoken briefly about running into Tali, but he knew her friend’s cool suspicion hurt her.

Ella lost track of how much time she spent with Garrus. The turian was the first person from her past to accept who she was without question. She took her time making sure he was settled comfortably and had Chambers put in an order for decent dextro rations. By the time Ella made it back to the cabin, Zaeed was stretched out on his stomach, snoring away. 

Ella shed the non-Cerberus issued civvies for the comfort of one of Zaeed’s t-shirts. Ella weaseled her way under his arm until her head cradled comfortably in his arms. The bulk of his chest and shoulders blocked her view out of the oversized window above the bed. She just hoped it was enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

It wasn’t. Ella wasn’t sure how long she slept before the crushing darkness of space invaded her dreams. Joker’s lifeless body floated past her as she desperately tried to plug the leak in her suit. She bolted from the bed on a strangled cry, her body fighting for oxygen. A pair of arms wrapped around her before she made it halfway across the cabin. She relaxed against the solid wall of muscle behind her.

“That’s it sweetheart,” he soothed, “I’ve got you. You’re safe sweet Ella.” Without waiting for an answer, Zaeed scooped her up and settled on the couch, pulling a blanket over them. His hands ran over her back until her breathing evened and slowed.

“They say you pass out from oxygen loss before you hit atmo.” Ella’s voice was hoarse with unshed tears. “They’re wrong. Even with the leak in my suit, I was awake enough to feel the first pulls of gravity. It’s shocking in its violence.” She paused and rubbed the dampness from her eyes. “I can’t save them in my dreams. I’ve been awake less than a week and all I see when I close my eyes are my shipmates dying.”

Zaeed’s hands settled at the base of her neck and rubbed softly until the tension began to leave her body. He knew from experience nothing could be said to make the nightmares better. “I can’t make the bloody dreams go away sweet Ella, but I can goddamn make sure to catch you when you wake from them. You’re not alone. Not anymore.”


	28. Chapter 28

Ella had just finished a pre mission meeting with Zaeed and Garrus when The Normandy finished its jump to the Hourglass Nebula.  She was hesitant to bring Garrus along, but he insisted she needed his sniping skills.  The idea of having two people she trusted implicitly also swayed her.  The two males stayed in the armory making last minute mods to their weapons while she went to handle Kelly’s overly perky reminder that she had unread messages.

She cleared through the usual drabble from The Illusive Man and Miranda before stumbling across a message she had honestly expected to receive earlier.  The subject line was all she needed to know who it was from.

_To: Ella Shepard_

_From: *name withheld*_

_Subj: Little One_

_If I had known you’d be as difficult in your second life as you were in your first, I’d have worked harder to get your body to the Collectors.  Or were you unaware I had your body at first?  Once again, you find yourself owing me Little One.  I believe it’s time you paid your dues.  There’s a man on your ship that I’m highly interested in obtaining, Zaeed Massani.  You’ll bring him to me and we might consider our debts a bit closer to even._

_Don’t disappoint Little One._

_Vido_

Ella chose to ignore the message and instead focused on getting Prisoner Zero released.  Garrus warned her once they reached Purgatory that Kuril wasn’t to be trusted.  The prisoner abuse seemed to attest to that.  Neither Garrus or Zaeed handled the attempt to apprehend Ella well and the trio dispatched of the warden and his Blue Suns troopers with ease.  Zaeed chose not to comment on her self-satisfied destruction of the mercenary troops.

_To: Vido Santiago_

_From: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: Not a Chance_

_If I owe anyone for disturbing my death, it’s certainly not you.  And if you think I’ll hand a member of my team over to you, you’re sadly mistaken._

_By the way, checked in with Purgatory lately?  Hope you weren’t one of the many who wanted a piece of me, alive or not.  You’ll be sadly disappointed._

_Ella_

She shut off her omni tool, only to open it back up.  Vido had, once again, unintentionally hit upon a sore point for Ella.

_E.S.- Dad?  Are you busy?_

_S.H.- Are you okay?  Did something happen?_

_E.S.- No.  I’m fine.  Just tired.  Sorry about Purgatory._

_S.H.- Did you really need to blow it up?_

_E.S.- It wasn’t me . . . exactly.  Jack did an awful lot of it._

_S.H.- Ella.  Stop avoiding the conversation._

_E.S.- What!  She did!_

_S.H.-  I’m waiting._

_E.S.- It’s just . . .  Why didn’t the alliance try and recover my body?  Why go to the trouble to build a shrine to me on Elysium, but not try and get my body?_

_S.H.- user disconnected_

Ella wasn’t surprised when a video hail came through moments later.  She pulled up the screen and settled into her chair.  Steven took a moment to drink in the sight of his adopted daughter.  It still didn’t feel completely real to him.

She smiled sadly.  “I’m still here.  Still real.”

“Something I’m thankful for every day kid.”  She watched him lean forward in his chair, his admiral mask firmly in place.  “We tried to land at the crash site hours after The Normandy went down.  Alchera is not a nice planet.  There was a storm and even with our best gear, we couldn’t land.  A few months later Lincoln, not Commander Marshall, but Lincon, tried a second time.  Conditions weren’t much better.  I personally led a team on the third attempt.  We were able to land but nothing could be found.  It was like you had vanished.  All I could find were your dog tags.”

“You have my tags?”  Ella hated how small her voice sounded.

“I do.  I can send them to you if you want.”

“No.  Keep them.  I just . . . needed to know someone cared enough to go back for me.”

“I will always be there when you need me Ella.  But can we keep dying off the table?  I can’t bury you again.”

“You do realize I’m on a suicide mission, right?”

“I realize that if anyone can survive a suicide mission, it’s you kid.”

Ella didn’t know how to respond to the utter sincerity in his words.  Steven seemed to recognize her discomfort and changed the subject.  “Now, what brought this on?”

“How do you think Cerberus got ahold of my body?”

“No clue.  I wondered that myself.”

“It seems odd that they’d want a dead body.”

They chatted until Zaeed returned to the cabin.  Ella laughed at Steven’s disgruntled, fatherly scowl.  It wasn’t until she admitted Zaeed kept the nightmares away that he stopped.  The two men seemed to have a complex conversation consisting only of eyebrow raises and quirks of the mouth before Ella interrupted and shut the feed off.  She made it her personal mission to distract the gruff bounty hunter until they arrived on Korlus to recruit the krogan warlord.

Once again, they fought through Blue Suns mercenaries.  Mordin and Jack accompanied her this time, much to Zaeed’s dismay.  The biotic lived up to her reputation and the salarian doctor proved a beneficial partner when they discovered the perfect tank bred krogan.

Ella supervised the transfer of the tank onto The Normandy before making her way back to the cabin.  Zaeed was surprisingly absent from the area.  She stripped out of the under armor and into a pair of jeans and an oversized alliance hoodie she had stolen from Linc years before.  Vido’s response sat in her inbox.

_To: Ella Shepard_

_From: *name withheld*_

_Subj: Purgatory_

_You play with fire Little One.  I will not tolerate such disrespect for long.  You will give me Massani or pay the price._

Ella bit back a curse as she typed back her response.

_To: Vido Santiago_

_From: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: Threats. . ._

_I don’t tolerate threats Santiago.  Maybe you should think about how I know your last name seeing as you never told me?_

_The only way you’ll get to Zaeed is over my cold, dead body.  And I apparently have difficulty staying dead, so you might want to consider your next move very carefully._

_Check in with Jedore lately?_

_Ella_

Ella barely hit the send button when she was physically picked up from the chair and spun.

“Why in the goddamn hell are you messaging Vido?”  Zaeed’s voice was dangerously low.

She wiggled a bit in his hold until he loosened his grip.  “The bastard thinks he’s the reason I’m still alive, which I don’t believe in the least.  He wants me to hand you over.”  Ella watched his face darken.  She reached up to stroke his scarred cheek.  “He’s sadly mistaken if he thinks I’ll ever hand you over.”

“Is that why you’re taunting the bastard?”

“I’ve taken great pleasure in destroying his troops Zaeed.  He’s played an elaborate game of cat and mouse with me since I was 18.  He needs to realize the tables have turned.”

“I don’t like it sweetheart.  He’s a goddamn bastard.”

“I know.  And we’ll get him.  I promised you that two years ago.”

“We should go now.  We know he’s at the bloody refinery.  I want to put a bloody bullet in his head.  See how he goddamn likes it.”

“Okay.  I’ll have Joker set a course.  Garrus can provide backup.”

He leaned forward to catch her mouth in a demanding kiss.  “I can’t stand the thought of that bastard being near you sweet Ella.”

“I can take care of myself Zaeed.  But I appreciate the concern.”

“Not concern sweetheart.  I bloody love you.”

“I love you too.  But I can still take care of myself.”

“And that’s why you’re my woman.”

“I thought I was your woman because I had amazing legs?”

“Those are a goddamn bonus."


	29. Chapter 29

They didn't get a chance to go after Vido. Ella was on her way to the CIC when The Illusive Man demanded her presence on Horizon. She considered refusing, until he mentioned Ash was stationed there. Worry for her former squad mate took precedence over revenge. Zaeed grudgingly agreed.  She paced between the Armory and the lab.  None of them knew what they faced on the colony.

Horizon was a terrifying disaster. Mordin's defense against the collector swarms worked surprisingly well, but the first time Harbinger called her by name, Ella froze. It wasn't until Zaeed's concerned voice sounded over her comm that she was able to regain focus.  She couldn’t help but glance at each frozen colonist, praying it wasn’t her friend.   Ella's relief at finding Ashley alive was short lived however.

Her former teammate, and friend, was incredibly unhappy to see her. Ashley threw around words like "traitor" and "disloyal" with scalding ease. Garrus and Zaeed both jumped to her defense, but neither was able to convince her that Ella wasn't deserving of the scorn. Quietly, Ella ordered both men to leave her former friend alone before radioing Joker for a pick up.  Garrus and Ella went to help get the colony’s systems online while Zaeed offered suggestions on defenses.

It was a subdued, but fuming, Ella that left the QEC hours later. She had Joker set a course to the Citadel before disappearing into Engineering. Zaeed made his way from the mess to the room she had claimed.  Miranda was nearly pounding on the door demanding entrance.  Ella refused to respond. He couldn't help but be impressed when Miranda admitted Ella had somehow biotically sealed the door and even EDI couldn’t get it open.  He chased the Cerberus flunkie from the door and knocked gently.

"Open the door sweetheart.  It’s just me."

"No."

"Why in the bloody hell won't you let me in?"

"Because I'm tired of obnoxious people who try and do what’s best without even asking for my input.”

“You’ve lost me sweetheart.  No one’s trying to control you.”

“Tell that to my father, Miranda, or The Illusive Man.”  Ella’s voice had taken on a decidedly stubborn tone.

“I’m not bloody getting into a family argument with you about Steven.”

“Will you argue with Cerberus for me?”

Zaeed attempted to keep his exasperation from sounding in his voice. “It’d be a pleasure, but I need to know what about sweetheart.  Open the door and let me in.”

“No.  If I take down the barrier, EDI gains control and then I have to deal with Cerberus shit and I’m not interested.”

Ella stubbornly refused to answer any more questions or open the door. Even Garrus' attempt was met with stony silence. Zaeed was about to start pulling panels off the wall when Joker announced their arrival at the Citadel over the comm. Ella's eerily calm voice announced a 48 hour shore leave.

Zaeed waited rather impatiently for her to finally emerge from the engineering deck. Ella ignored him as she made her way off the ship and towards the Presidium. Annoyed, he stepped in front of her and pulled her into a small café.  He ordered her to sit.  Slightly amused, she waited while he ordered for both of them.

He slid a bowl of lemon gelato and a coffee towards her.  Ella stared at him a moment before taking a bite.  “Is this your way of saying I’m acting childish?”

“I’m saying you’re goddamn pissed and need to relax sweetheart.  What in the hell happened?”

She ate half the bowl before answering.  “The Illusive Man set us up.  He purposely drove the Collector’s to Horizon.  The bastard used Ash’s safety as bait.”  She dropped the spoon into her half empty bowl.  “Then when Garrus and I were working to get communication up and running we . . . intercepted an email.  The Alliance sent her there to spy on me.  They want proof that it was me and that I’m with Cerberus.”

Ella shoved back from the table.  “I want to know why Steven’s doing this.  Why say he trusts me and then turn around to do something like this?”

Zaeed reached forward to clasp her hands.  “I can’t answer that sweetheart.”

“He and David are both here right now.  I need to see them and ask why.”  Ella slid her hands away from his.  “You don’t have to come with.  I can go alone and meet you at the apartment.”

“No offense sweetheart, but I’m not bloody letting you out of my sight just yet.”

“I rescued Grunt without your help,” she reminded him as they headed out the door.

“And we both bloody well know your obnoxious pilot patched me into the comm chatter the entire damn time.”

“Oh!  You _do_ care!”  Ella went onto her toes to peck his cheek, laughing at his grumblings.  They made their way towards the Presidium, ignoring the occasional stares.  Ella heard her name whispered more than once.  They dodged a reporter before making their way up to David’s office.

His yeoman once again seemed reluctant to allow her into the counselor’s office, but Ella’s overly sweet persistence paid off.  The two men seemed only slightly surprised when she marched into the office, Zaeed trailing behind.

“Shepard, this is a surprise.”  Anderson’s voice held a note of question.

“I’m sure it is.”  Ella stepped away from Steven’s outstretched arms, ignoring the surprised look of hurt on his face.  “I had a few questions I needed answered.  In person.”  She stared at the two men, unsure of how to start.

“What’s the matter kid?”  Steven’s voice was a mixture of calm questioning and admiral-esque demands.  The anger Ella had been holding a lid on bubbled over.  Her biotics flashed, rippling over her skin.

“What’s the matter?  Where do you want me to start?  How about the fact that you purposely put one of my old teammates in danger to spy on me?  Or that neither of you seem to trust I’m the real Ella?  Even after assuring me over and over that you trusted I was really me.  What exactly do you want me to do to prove I’m not a fucking duplicate?”

Both men stared at her in surprised shock.  Ella struggled to regain control over her biotics.  She glared at her two mentors and deflated a bit when neither answered her.  With a sigh, she tossed a datapad on David’s desk.  “My latest report.  Not that you care.”

Ella turned and left without another word.  Zaeed followed behind, pausing before the door slid closed.  “She hasn’t slept more than two bloody hours since coming back.  I don’t think she’s slept at all since we left Horizon and you two bastards haven’t helped.  Put that in your fucking reports.”  He left before either had a chance to answer.

Zaeed knew Ella wouldn’t head back to The Normandy while she was upset.  He made his way back to their apartment.  Her hat and boots had been discarded near the door.  The cropped leather jacket was slung over the couch back.  Making his way into their bedroom, he found her standing in the center of the room, bottle of whiskey in hand.

“Sweetheart?”  His hands settled on her waist, pulling her back against him comfortably.

“I’m not a clone.”

He hated the questioning note in her statement.  “You’re not a clone.  You’re Ella goddamn Shepard who likes her noodles too damn spicy and taunts gang leaders.  Whatever those two bastards were thinking, they’re wrong.”    

She turned in his arms and pushed him down against the bed until he sat.  He felt the bed dip behind him.  A tug on his hair had him leaning back to look up at her.  Enthralled, Zaeed watched Ella tilt the bottle to her lips, drinking deep.  She pulled it away and smiled darkly before tipping the bottle.

Zaeed’s mouth parted to catch the stream of liquor.  Impatient, Ella’s head dipped, her tongue darting out to lick the liquor from his lips before chasing the taste into his mouth.  Her hand tightened in his hair as she pulled away, licking the taste from her skin.  He couldn’t contain the growl from reverberating through him as she took another drink.

The bottle was discarded as she reached down to peel her green cami off.  Ella swung around to straddle his lap.  Nimble fingers worked on the clasp of her bra while she tugged at the fabric of his shirt.  His teeth and tongue sought out her breasts, teasing small noises of pleasure from her.  She fisted the fabric of his shirt and pushed him back against the bed.

Her hands trailed up his arms, entwining his fingers in the headboard.  “Don’t move,” she whispered against his lips.  Ella wiggled off his lap to shed her jeans and remove his.  Zaeed gave into the unusually dominate woman as she trailed fingers along his skin.  She took her time, starting near his ankles and working her way up his body.  His hands clenched the headboard tightly as she purposely ignored his growing erection.  Her lips skimmed against his before she set a return path, this time with her lips and teeth.

Zaeed’s patience was nearly gone by the time Ella decided she was done playing.  They groaned, almost in unison, as she slid down on his cock.  She leaned forward, her hands wrapping around his wrists as she rocked above him.  His hips jerked off the bed as he pushed up into her.  Ella pressed a desperate kiss against him as her movements sped up.

With a surprised cry, her body tightened and bowed as she came.  Zaeed’s hands wrenched away from the headboard, grasping her waist and neck tightly.  He held her still as he thrust into a final time before releasing deep inside her pussy.  Ella relaxed bonelessly against him until their breathing returned to normal.      

Zaeed was the first to speak.  “Not that I’m complaining sweetheart, but where’d that come from?”

Ella wiggled against him until she found a comfortable spot.  “Cerberus, the council . . . Steven.  They all want something from me.  I’m a pawn in someone else’s game right now.”  Her hand trailed against the stubble on his cheek.

Zaeed rolled so his body covered hers.  “I’ll let you take control anytime.”  He dipped his head and covered her lips with his.  “But now it’s my turn sweet Ella.”

He felt the tickle of biotics as Ella froze him in stasis.  She laughed and stretched under him.  “We’ll see about that Massani.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella's outfit: http://missmeggo929.tumblr.com/post/71690441670/ella-after-horizon


	30. Chapter 30

An incessant knocking at the apartment door woke Ella the next morning.  Zaeed lay next to her, snoring gently.  With a groan she untangled herself from the sheets and made her way to the living room.  She grabbed a clean dark grey sweatshirt and slipped it on over her cami before answering the door, surprised to see Steven standing in the doorway.  Silently she motioned him into the apartment.

He followed her into the kitchen and sat at the table while she brewed coffee and fixed two cups.  Halfway through his cup, Steven finally broke the silence.  “I knew William’s was on Horizon.  We received reliable intel that the Collectors were targeting the colony and we felt it best to have a trustworthy source out there.”  He paused when Ella let out a snort.

“Reliable intel my ass.  Who do you think sent you that Steven?”  She rolled her eyes.  “It was a trap, all the way around.  The Illusive man used the Alliance, used Ashely, and used me.  And we all fell for it.”  Ella put her cup down on the table with a thud.  “That I can forgive.  What I can’t understand is why have her spy on me?  You knew Cerberus brought me back.  You said you believed me.”  She hated how small her voice sounded.

Hackett couldn’t disguise his wince.  “That I didn’t know about.  Some members of the Alliance believe David and I are being short-sighted in our acceptance of your return.  One of them decided to undermine a direct order.”  He leaned forward and wrapped his hands around hers.  “I do believe you kid.  I would never send someone to spy on you, let alone a friend.  I’m sorry that’s how it seemed.”

Ella fidgeted uncomfortably on her chair, not meeting his gaze.  With a sigh he released her hands and sat back.  “I don’t know how to make this better Ella.”

Steven finished his coffee in silence.  As he stood to leave, she finally spoke.  “I may have overreacted a bit,” she admitted.  He sat back down across from her.  “I felt, no I feel, used.  Like a pawn in some complex game I don’t want to be a part of.  And thinking you and Anderson are a part of it, I cracked.”

“You are a pawn kid.  Cerberus, the Council, the Alliance, they all want a piece of you.  David and I are doing our best to keep the pressure off you so you can get the job done.”

“I . . . thanks.”

“You’re welcome kid.”  He glanced at the clock above the sink.  “I have a meeting I can’t miss.  When do you leave?”

“Tonight.  We’re headed to Illium.”  She couldn’t help but smile at his frown.  “You know I’ve been there before right?”

“Massani is a bad influence.”

“There you go with your preconceived ideas.  It wasn’t Zaeed who took me there and don’t even ask.  I was sworn to secrecy.”

Steven ran a hand through his hair.  “See this?  You’re adding to the grey.”

“You wanted to be a dad remember?  I’m just doing my job.”  She bounced up from her chair to wrap her arms around him.  “I’ll stay safe.  I promise.”

“You do that.”  He brushed a kissed on forehead before letting himself out of the apartment.

Ella was halfway back to the bedroom when her omni tool chimed.  Figuring it was Miranda or Jacob, she ignored it.  The second and third messages were a bit harder to blow off.  Military training was still too deeply ingrained.

_L.M.- You, me, breakfast at the Presidium café._

_L.M.- I know you’re up.  The admiral went to visit you this morning._

_L.M.- The only acceptable reason for not answering me is if you’re doing deliciously nasty things to that bounty hunter of yours._

_E.S.- Sorry to disappoint, but that was last night._

_L.M.- And you didn’t invite me?  I’m hurt doll._

_E.S.- I’ll make it up to you by letting you buy me breakfast.  Half an hour?_

_L.M.- Make it twenty.  My transport leaves in a few hours._

_E.S.- I’ll be there._

Ella traded sleep pants for a pair of jeans and left a note for Zaeed propped against the coffeepot.  Linc was already there when she arrived, a cup of coffee waiting for her.  Before she could sit, he scooped her into a bear hug, pressing her cheek against his uniform.  She returned the embrace readily, enjoying the familiarity of it.

“I still can’t believe you’re alive,” he murmured quietly before letting her go.

“Believe me, it’s my life and I can’t believe they bought me back.”  Ella pulled her chair around so they sat next to each other, only slightly surprised when he twined his fingers with hers.  They had always been more affectionate than regulations allowed, even if it was well known Linc preferred male company.  Ella always suspected Steven had pulled strings to keep the brass off their case.

They fell back into their old rhythms easily, Linc describing his latest relationship with a security systems expert and needling Ella for details on her relationship with Zaeed.  He laughed at the amount of food her biotically charged appetite required.  It wasn’t until the Collectors were mentioned that his sunny attitude fell away.  For a moment, his eyes were haunted.

Ella pushed her chair even closer and rested her head on his shoulder.  “So, remember after I found out about Akuze and wouldn’t leave you alone?  How obnoxious I was?”

“Vaguely.”

“And you finally sat me down with a beer and told me that it wouldn’t have mattered if I was with you or not?  The attack would have happened regardless?”  She felt him shift uncomfortably.  “I’m using your words against you,” she explained gently.  “The collector’s would have attacked my ship no matter what other Alliance vessels were nearby.”

“If we had been closer, it might’ve made a difference,” He argued.  “We might have saved you and you wouldn’t be working with Cerberus now.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.  They would’ve destroyed your ship.  I still would’ve gone after Joker and instead of waking up to find the people I care about alive, I’d be mourning your death.  So just stop.  You rescued my crew and tried to find my body.  That’s enough for me.”

They sat together in silence while Linc thought over Ella’s words.  Wordlessly, he shifted until his arm wrapped around her shoulders.  “You’re something else doll.”

“I learned from the best.”

Ella let him steer the conversation back to a neutral topic until they said their goodbyes.  His parting hug was less intense, but Ella knew her friend would need more reassurances over the upcoming months.  Linc was barely out of the café when his seat was taken by her cranky bounty hunter.

“Have a good breakfast sweetheart?”

“You know I did.  I saw you halfway through.”

Zaeed shrugged and grabbed a piece of bacon off of her plate.  “He looked like someone had kicked his goddamn puppy.  He didn’t need me breathing down his back.”

“Survivor’s guilt.”

He nodded in understanding.  “We all dealt with it differently sweetheart.”

“And how did you?  Deal with it?”

“I shot a goddamn bounty between the eyes then took on his krogan bodyguards.”

Ella leaned towards him.  “Why would you do that?”

He sighed.  “Rage kept me numb sweetheart.  Before you, I hadn’t felt anything in a long time.  When you were gone, I went through a hell of a lot of rage to get back to numb.”

Ella contemplated the man sitting next to her for a moment before grabbing his hand and standing.  It was becoming apparent that very few of the people in her life had processed her death in a healthy manner.  She was determined to regain some sense of normalcy.

“Where are we going sweetheart?”

“Home.  We have seven hours before The Normandy leaves.  I plan to make use of you, the bed, and the stack of vids you, Garrus, and Joker tell me I need to watch.”

“I like the way you think sweetheart.”   


	31. Chapter 31

After Ella’s discussion with The Illusive Man, he forwarded several new dossiers onto her, along with a message that Vido was no longer on Zorya.  He assured her their contacts within the refinery were rectifying the situation.  Zaeed grumbled about another delay, but Ella was secretly relieved she had an excuse to drop everything and rescue Tali.  The comfort of another familiar, friendly face was something she needed.

Ella left Garrus to help get Tali settled into Engineering while she wrote her report for both Cerberus and the Alliance.  Her young quarian friend had promised an omni tool program that would let her encrypt files so tightly, even EDI wouldn’t be able to hack them.  She had just sat down to write when her terminal buzzed an incoming conversation.

_S.H.- I hear things got a little. . .toasty on your last mission.  You okay?_

_E.S.- I’m fine.  We managed to get Tali out without suffering third degree burns._

_S.H.- Glad to hear._

_E.S.- Wait a minute.  You heard?  I haven’t sent my report yet.  Hell, I haven’t even written it._

_S.H.- Look at that, I’m late for a meeting._

_E.S.- Steven, who told you?_

_E.S.- Answer me damnit._

_E.S.- This isn’t done Dad.  I have my ways._

Report finished, she decided to review the information on the two unknown recruits.  She was flipping through information on the assassin when she felt Zaeed’s hands settled on her shoulders.  He leaned down to read over her shoulder.

“A bloody assassin?  What in the hell is the bastard thinking?”

“We already have a genetically modified krogan, the original psychotic biotic, a vigilante, and a mercenary.  Maybe he thought an assassin would fit in perfectly?”

“Mouthy bitch.”

“You love it.  Speaking of mouthy, would you stop gossiping with Steven?  Somehow he knew about Haestrom before I even sent him the report.”

“I didn’t tell him a bloody thing sweetheart.”

She dropped the datapad onto her desk.  “Then how exactly did he know?”

“It’s his story to tell, not mine.”

“So you know who it is?”

Zaeed paused a moment and thought.  “Yes sweetheart, I do.  Will you believe me if I say it’s not something to bloody worry about?”

Ella narrowed her eyes as she contemplated his request.  “Fine,” she grudgingly agreed.  She went to grab the datapad, but found herself tossed fireman style over the back of her grumpy bounty hunter.  “What in the hell Massani?”

“We have four goddamn hours before we land on Illium.  I plan to distract you sweetheart.”

“I need to go over mission plans.”  She let out a yelp as he pinched her ass before dropping her into the center of the bed.

“Later sweetheart.”

Six hours, two showers, and a skipped lunch later, Ella was regretting letting Zaeed distract her.  They had less than a single day cycle to recruit both the asari justicar and the assassin.  After a tense meeting with Liara, she sent Tali and Garrus to do recon on Dantius towers while she, Grunt, and Zaeed went after Samara.  Finding the information on Samara’s target would have been easy if not for the canisters of toxic, biotic enhancing chemicals.  Try as she might, Ella couldn’t help but inhale at least some of the dust as it swirled around the buildings.  The initial surge of biotic powers had worn off, leaving her exhausted.

Unable to rest however, she sent her squadmates back to the ship, while she headed to Dantius Towers.  Ella arrived in time to see a group of salarian workers fleeing for their lives.  With no time to discuss a plan of attack she, along with, Tali and Garrus stormed the tower.  Another routine mission took a turn when they found the first set of workers saved by the illusive hit man.  The discovery of the second group had Ella mentally reassessing the man.  By the time they eventually found Nassana, and the assassin, she fully admitted to being confused, yet she found herself more confident recruiting him than any of her previously unknown crew members.

The trip back to The Normandy was quick and quiet.  Ella was too exhausted to keep up her normal steady stream of chatter.  She also failed to mention to her squadmates or Thane that during the last skirmish, a bullet had made it’s way through her shields and into her shoulder.  The medigel had patched the hole easily and she was more concerned about her biotics.  The toxic substance had taken a larger toll on her than she had previously realized.        

Ella almost regretted not telling her friends however, when she stepped from the skycar and promptly blacked out.  She came to inside the Normandy’s airlock with unfamiliar arms cradling her against their body.  Garrus’ slightly panicked voice sounded fuzzy and distant.

“What exactly happened?”  Her voice sounded weak, even to her own ears.

“You exited the skycar and promptly fainted,” a gravely voice informed her.  Ella tilted her head up to meet Thane’s eyes and immediately shut them against the glaring light.  “It was then we discovered you’d been shot.”

“I was aware of the fact,” she pointed out.

The main doors to The Normandy slid opened to show a concerned Dr. Chakwas waiting beside the pilot’s chair.  Joker had smartly removed himself from the area.

“We’re going to have a long discussion about the physical limitations of your body Commander.”  The doctor’s voice held a note of concerned censure.

“Just putting Cerberus’s upgrades through their paces doc.”

“I’m sure Miranda will appreciate the full run down.”

Chakwas directed Thane to the med bay while Ella continued to grumble she was perfectly capable of walking.  Both ignored her as Karin barraged her with questions about her last meal, the toxic dust, and her gunshot injury.  She was nearly at her wits end when Thane deposited her onto an exam table in med bay.  

The motion sent a spike of pain from her jack to the front of her head.  Her vision greyed and narrowed as she choked back bile.  The cloying haze of painkillers rushed through her system.  Ella was almost under again when she heard the med bay doors open.

“What in the bloody hell did she do this time?”  Zaeed’s voice sounded incredibly close.  She fought to open her eyes, to reassure him she was fine.  The last sight she saw was Zaeed staring daggers into the assassin who still stood at the foot of her cot.  “Krios?  What is goddamn happening here?”  The painkillers pulled her under before Ella could respond.      

The room was nearly pitch black when she finally pulled herself from the drug induced stupor.  Her stomach twisted, reminding her she hadn’t eaten, while her shoulder and head throbbed as she moved. Panic clawed at her chest when she realized she was no longer in the med bay.  An involuntary whimper escaped her as she attempted to free herself from the tangle of blankets.  Ella bit back a pained cry as lights blinded her.  

A pair of hands wrapped around her upper body, hauling her back onto the bed.  She tried to scratch at the hands holding her, but they only tightened around her.  “Shhh, sweet Ella.  I got you sweetheart.”  

She froze at the sound of his voice.  “Zaeed?”

“It’s me sweetheart.”  

She sagged back against him, letting him settle her back into the bed.  He quietly requested that EDI lower the lights and she breathed a sigh of relief.  Zaeed settled into the bed next to her and she burrowed her head against him.  The familiar scent of cigars and soap helped calm her.  

“I didn’t even think.  I’m sorry sweetheart.  I thought waking in the bloody med bay would remind you of Cerberus.”

“It wasn’t you.  The dark, the pain, being hungry.  It just sent me back, that’s all.  You couldn’t have known.”  Ella stayed tight against his side until her stomach twisted in hunger, once again reminding her she hadn’t eaten in close to a day.  No amount of painkillers would help her headache until she ate.  Reluctantly she pulled away and began the process of unwrapping herself from the blankets.

“Where the hell you think you’re going sweetheart?”

“Food.”  She yanked open a drawer on the table beside her bed.  Blindly, she grabbed two ration bars.

“Gardner made you real food.”

“Great.  I’ll eat that too.”  Ella devoured the two ration bars by the time Zaeed returned with the covered tray.  She proceeded to inhale two steak sandwiches, and half a plate of fries before beginning to feel better.  Zaeed watched with a look of faint amusement.  “So, how do you know Thane?”  

“I’m a bounty hunter, he’s an assassin.  Our paths have crossed a time or two.”  His answer was entirely non-committal.

“That’s it?  You’ve just crossed paths?”  

“Don’t go bringing up ancient history sweetheart.  By the way, message your bloody Dad.  He’s messaged me every goddamn hour since you passed out.”

“I can tell you’re avoiding the subject Massani.  I won’t forget.”

He cupped her chin in one hand and grabbed her emptied plate with the other.  “Message you father and when he’s done with you, we’re gonna bloody talk about pushing yourself too hard.”  He pressed a kiss against her before exiting the loft, dirty dishes in hand.

“Obnoxious men,” he muttered to herself, pulling up a blank message.

_To: Steven “Dad” Hackett_

_From: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: I’m Fine_

_Contrary to what gossiping busybodies have told you, I’m fine.  I just forgot to eat and got a bit of a headache.  If I promise to be good and never do it again will you skip the lecture?_   
_Ella_

 

* * *

 

_To: Ella Shepard_

_From: Steven “Dad” Hackett_

_Subj: Re: I’m Fine_

_Not eating does not account for a bullet wound to your shoulder or fighting through clouds of toxic, illegal substances.  Not to mention back to back missions without giving yourself a chance to rest.  So, no, you are not absolved from your lecture. I know Cerberus gave you a nifty body with lots of upgrades, but you’re still human.  I’ve lost you once.  I’d really prefer not to live through that again._

_Dad_

* * *

_To: Steven “Dad” Hackett_

_From: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: Guilt Trips. . ._

_. . .when did you perfect them?_

* * *

 

_To: Ella Shepard_

_From: Steven “Dad” Hackett_

_Subj: Re: Guilt Trips_

_You’ve given me lots of practice the past decade kid._

_I love you.  Stay safe._

_Dad_


	32. Chapter 32

When Ella received the message that Vido had returned to Zorya, neither she or Zaeed wanted to risk losing him again.  She had Joker set a course and the two began to develop a plan of action.  He was less than thrilled when Ella decided that Thane would accompany them groundside.  It was customary for new ground team members to accompany her and a trusted member on the next mission.  It gave Ella a chance to assess her new squadmates.  

The mission began as expected.  Vido had the refinery well fortified with Blue Suns troops.  The three of them dispatched of the fighters with ease.  Ella was taken back by how seamlessly Zaeed and Thane fought together.  It was too practiced to be the first time they had done it.

“Still sticking with your ‘just crossed paths’ story,” she questioned while hacking through the main doors of the refinery.

“Not now Shepard.”

“I expect the full story Zaeed.”

“Later.”  The locks flashed green and the three made their way into the building.  Vido stood on a catwalk, glaring down at them.

“Well Zaeed.  You finally tracked me down.”  

“Vido.”  Zaeed unhooked his shotgun from his back.

“Don’t be stupid Massani.  I have a whole company of bloodthirsty bastards behind me, waiting to take you and your team out.”  His flat eyed stare shifted to Ella.  “And you Little One.  I’m so very disappointed in you.  You would have made quite an . . . enjoyable partner.”  

Vido paused, enjoying the look of anger on Zaeed’s face.  “Actually, take the shot and give them a reason to put you both down.”

Ella surprised them all by laughing.  “Put us down?  You couldn’t manage that fifteen years ago Vido.  What makes you so sure you could do it now?”

“Explain yourself Shepard.”

“I’ll use small words so you can understand me.  Fifteen years ago.  The alley where you attempted to take Zaeed out.  You and your thugs were taken down by a biotic.”

“How did you know that?”  Vido’s attention was fully on Ella and her on him.  They both missed Zaeed making his way towards a gas line.

“For someone who thinks he’s smart, you’re fucking clueless.”

“It was _you_.”  Realization dawned across his face to be chased away by anger.  Before he could respond, an explosion rocked the catwalk.  Ella and Thane had to scramble out of the way of incoming bullets.

“What the hell are you doing,” Ella hissed as Zaeed continued to pound at the gas pipes, setting off explosions farther into the refinery.  

“Opening the gates.”  

All Ella could do was shake her head in irritation as they made their way deeper into the refinery.  They fought through scorching blazes of burning gas and panicking Blue Suns troops.  Halfway through the building, they began hearing the screams of the workers.  They were trapped, unable to reach the valves.  Zaeed demanded they leave them behind.  Ella refused.  

They detoured through the building, shutting off gas valves.  Zaeed couldn’t seem to stop himself from goading her her on at each stop.  He could read the tension radiating off of Ella the farther they went, but his desire for revenge was almost overpowering.  As they reached the rear of the building, he could hear the distinctive sound of engines firing.  He flung the door open in time to see Vido’s gunship taking off.

Zaeed unloaded a clip into the closing bay door before his gun jammed.  He knocked the heat sink free before facing Ella.  “What in the bloody hell were you _thinking_?  We had him in our goddamn sights and you let him get away you damn bleeding hearted bitch!”

“I was thinking I don’t sacrifice innocents for my revenge!”

“Nearly twenty goddamn years of my life wasted because you can’t handle a little bloody collateral damage!”

Ella reeled as if he had actually struck her.  The hurt and betrayal evident on her face had him regretting his words almost immediately.  

Her response was cut short the crackle and slight curling of smoke that served as their only warning as his discarded heat sink ignited a trail of fuel.  They both dove away from the explosion.  Ella futilely scrambled out of the way of a falling support beam.  She let out a scream as it fell across her leg.  Even with her armor and weaves, she felt the sickening crack of bones breaking.

Smoke curled around her, obscuring her view.  A flash of vibrant green and black broke through her hazy vision as she felt the beam lifted off her legs.  For the second time she found herself cradled against Thane as he ran her to the incoming shuttle.  

“For the record, I usually don’t play the damsel in distress,” she managed to gasp out to the drell.

“I didn’t think you did siha,” was his dry response.  Thane had just gotten her settled into a seat when Zaeed managed to make his way on board.  

“Ella-”

“Don’t.  Just don’t.”  She closed her eyes as the bone weave began attempting to knit itself back together.  Ella ignored his second and third attempts to speak to her.  

Zaeed sat helplessly in the shuttle and watched the doctor and Thane cart Ella off for the second time in as many missions.  He slowly discarded him armor and made his way to the showers.  Regret had set in before the shuttle had even left the refinery.  As he approached the doors of the med bay, they stayed firmly shut.

“EDI, open the damn doors,” he requested impatiently.

“I’m sorry Mr. Massani, but no one is allowed access to the med bay unless it is a medical necessity.”

“By whose goddamn orders?”

“Doctor Chakwas made the initial request and Commander Shepard agreed.”

Zaeed stalked away from the med bay and made his way back to the loft.  He knew Ella wouldn’t stay with the doctor longer than necessary and he planned to talk with her as soon as she returned.  Hopefully, he would know what to say by then.  

Eight hours later The Normandy had docked on The Citadel and Ella had yet to return to the captain’s quarters.  Miranda’s voice filtered through the onboard PA system, announcing that while they had docked, all that was planned was a short refuel and supply stop and that shore leave had not been scheduled.  Swallowing his pride, Zaeed made his way back to the med bay.  The glass was still tinted.  Another two hours passed before he finally broke down and asked EDI about Shepard’s current location.

“According to my records, Commander Shepard exited The Normandy three hours ago.”

Zaeed was on his feet and in the elevator before he realized it.  “Where’s her goddamn location on the Citadel.”

The silent pause filled him with foreboding.  “I cannot locate the Commander’s position on the Citadel.”

“What does that bloody mean EDI?”

“Commander Shepard has either removed Cerberus issued armor, or is no longer on The Citadel.”

Zaeed swore to himself and waited impatiently for the elevator doors to open in the shuttle bay.  He was nearly out the doors when EDI’s blue orb appeared.  “Shore leave was not issued on this visit to The Citadel Mr. Massani.  If you choose to exit the ship, I will be forced to report you AWOL to Ms. Lawson.”

“Tell Ms. Lawson I’m a fucking contractor and will take shore leave when I bloody feel like it.”  Zaeed made her way from the docking bays to their apartment in the wards.  It was empty as he suspected it would be, but he needed to be sure.  A quick check with his usual contacts within the wards let him know that no one had seen Ella since they had been at the apartment together a few weeks before. 

He couldn’t find her at the wards clinic or Huerta.  Grasping at straws, Zaeed made his way to the Presidum.  He hoped that she might have taken refuge with Anderson.  As he rounded a corner towards the building, an arm reached out and yanked him into a rather deserted space between two buildings.  A fist made contact with his face.

Zaeed fell into a fighting stance, but a second fist made contact with his stomach and his feet were swept out from underneath him.  He went to unsheath a knife when a familiar voice distracted him.

“I really wouldn't do that.  No one would question an Alliance commander reporting the death of a bounty hunter.  And right now I’m not real inclined to go easy on you.”  Linc’s usually easy going demeanor was nowhere to be found as he towered over the prostrate man.

Zaeed sat up, but stayed seated on the Presdium floor.  “Where the bloody hell is she Marshall?”

Linc’s short bark of laughter held no humor.  “You really think I’d tell you?  I warned you, didn’t I?  I told you if you ever hurt her I’d destroy you.  I just never thought that hurt would be physical as well as emotional.”

“I made a fucking stupid mistake alright?  I let my goddamn need for revenge get in the way and she paid the price.  If anyone deserve the chance to castrate me, it’s her.”

“She _cried_ Massani.  Ella fucking Shepard doesn’t cry over anything.”

“Let me goddamn fix it Marshall.  Where is she?”

“You wanna fix it Massani?    You find her yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that some dialogue was taken directly from the mission. One of the few times I'll actually do something like that :)


	33. Chapter 33

Steven was two hours into a highly classified meeting about Dr. Kenson’s work in batarian space when his omni-tool beeped multiple urgent messages.

_To: Admiral Steven Hackett_

_From: Dr. Karin Chakwas_

_Subj: Your Daughter_

_Steven,_

_Ella has, for a second time, been carried into my medical bay by the new drell crew member.  Neither will tell me the exact reason for her injury, only that there was an explosion.  I’ve placed the Commander on light duty for at least a week.  Perhaps you need to have another conversation with her about appropriate safety protocols?_

_Yours,_

_Karin_

* * *

_To: Steven “Dad” Hackett_

_From: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: You around?_

_Since I’m sure someone has already blabbed to you, this injury is totally not my fault.  Zaeed and I . . . disagreed with mission parameters and it went sideways.  And on a totally unrelated note, there’s no way I can stay cooped on this ship for a week and I really don’t want to stay on The Citadel.  Please don’t ask why?  Is there any way you can smuggle me to London since I’m guessing Arcturus is off limits?  Without Cerberus knowing?_

_Please?_

_Ella_

 

* * *

Steven sent a quick message to Karin assuring her he’d talk with Ella again.  He sent another message, clearing his schedule for at least a week and booked transport to Buenos Aires.  One last message to Commander Marshall guaranteed a private room on a previously unscheduled military transport leaving The Citadel.  Satisfied, he wrote his adopted daughter back.  

_To: Ella Shepard_

_From: Steven “Dad” Hackett_

_Subj: Re: You around?_

_I won’t ask why right now kid, but I have a feeling we’ll be having a serious heart to heart when you get here.  Linc will message you with transport information.  I’m taking you to Buenos Aires.  I bought a retirement home there last year.  Only a handful of people know about it, so you should be left alone for the most part._

_Massani is not invited._

_Dad_

* * *

_To: Steven “Dad” Hackett_

_From: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: Don’t worry  
_

_I wasn’t planning on inviting him._

_E_

 It was an oddly subdued Ella he picked up from the transport depot six hours later.  He wisely chose not to mention her red rimmed eyes.  The drive to his retirement home reminded him of the sullen twelve year old he had returned to the orphanage almost twenty years ago.  Steven was just glad this time she wasn’t calling him a uniform and not speaking to him, even if their current conversation was stilted.

Ella took her time exploring his new house.  Her bags got put into a small bedroom she claimed on the first floor and she eventually settled in the living room near a large picture window overlooking the bay.  Steven handed her a cup of her favorite tea and settled in a chair near her, reading over reports.  He knew Ella would talk to him when she was ready, not before.

He was halfway into the second report when she sighed and tossed a pillow at him.  Ella couldn’t help but giggle at the blandly disapproving glare he sent her.  

“Ready to tell me what happened kid?”

She began to pick at the fabric of his couch.  “So, you know how we found out Vido was on Zorya?”  Ella waited until he nodded yes.  “I promised Zaeed before I . . .died that we’d go after him.  Did he tell you why?”

“He mentioned Vido had attempted to recruit you multiple times over the years.”

“Yeah.  Well, when we landed things went . . . badly.  He decided to improvise and, well, it didn’t turn out so well.  I wouldn’t let the workers get hurt and Vido got away.”

“That doesn’t explain how your leg wound up broken in three different places.”

“We . . . argued and neither of us noticed a heat sink near the oil.  It exploded and a beam fell.”

“Just argued?”  Steven’s voice had taken on a distinctly admiral tone.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Whatever it was made you cry kiddo.  I can’t just let it go.”

Ella let out a watery laugh.  “Part of the package huh?”

“Exactly.”

She tugged the loose thread from the couch.  “He . . . God.  He may have insinuated everything the past twenty years was a waste because we didn’t get Vido.”  

“I think I need to have a talk with Zaeed.”  Her adoptive father’s voice was carefully void of any emotion.  

“Please don’t.  He’ll know I’m with you and I just need some time.  Please?”  Ella turned the full force of her blue eyes on him.  She saw the exact moment he broke.

“Fine.  But I will be talking with him before you return to The Normandy.”  His tone left no room for argument.

Ella nodded her consent.  “So, now that we’re done with big emotional reveals, what’s for dinner?  Because I’m kind of looking forward to something not made from prepackaged rations.”

“Homemade spicy noodles?”

“You know me so well.”  

 

* * *

 

Two days later and Steven was trying to figure out how to entertain an obviously bored Ella.  He woke up that morning to find that she had taken apart every gun in the house and not only cleaned them, but modded them each.  It was painfully obvious she had no idea how to relax and she adamantly refused to speak about Zaeed, Zorya, or Cerberus.  

Karin had messaged him, asking that he pass on a message that Miranda and The Illusive Man were less than thrilled with her impromptu vacation.  Ella had just laughed until she almost fell off her chair.  It wasn’t until the evening of their second day in Buenos Aires that Steven was able to sneak away and do a few minutes of work.

“Why does that look like a statue of The Normandy?  The old one I mean?”  

“Hasn’t anyone told you sneaking around is frowned upon?”

“Nope.  I’ve made my career on it, remember?  Stealth drive ship? Super secret classified missions?”

“I hate when you use logic on me.”  Steven handed the datapad to her.  “We commissioned it to be put down on The Normandy’s crash site.  I received notification it was finished yesterday.”

“At the sight?”  She handed the datapad back to him.

“That’s the official plan.  I was thinking maybe we could go and place it.  Together.  There’s still some dog tags that haven’t been recovered as well.”

She stared at the datapad in his hands a moment.  “Yeah.  I’d like that.”

“I’ll make the plans.”  

Steven was good to his word.  The next morning they left for Alchera in a small, unmarked military frigate.  No one on the crew questioned Ella’s appearance on the ship, but she spent most of the time hiding in shuttle bay.  Steve, the shuttle pilot, was unabashedly excited to return to the Terminus systems where his husband was serving on a small human colony.  Ella let herself get lost in his enthusiastic stories.

Ground side on Alchera was sobering for both Ella and Steven.  The complete destruction of the original Normandy was difficult for both of them to take in.  They decided to place the monument before searching out dog tags.  After the statue was placed by the remains of the galaxy map, Ella began the tireless process of finding each tag.  She refused to leave without all of them.  

Steven stayed by her side the entire time.  The process took longer than it should, but he didn’t have the heart to stop her from reminiscing about her previous ship and crew.  When they found her battered N7 helmet, Steven wordlessly slipped it into a crate.  Neither of them could handle seeing it then.

Dog tags collected, they both headed back to the waiting ship.  Ella kept to herself during the trip back to Earth.  It wasn’t until they had been home for nearly half a day that she mentioned the battered armor.  She wandered into his office and perched herself on the edge of his desk.

“Steven?  If that’s what my helmet looked like, what do you think I looked like?

“Honestly, I try not to think about it.  All that matters is they brought you back.”

“Even if I’m half bionic woman?”

“You’re not half bionic woman Ella.”

“Close enough.”  She pulled up the leg of her jeans to examine the leg that was broken barely a week before.  “I shouldn’t have healed this fast.  I should have scars and bruises, but there’s none.  I’m totally a bionic woman.”  She grinned at his audible sigh.

“Fine.  I try not to think about it, even if you are half a bionic woman.  You’re still you kid.”

“Thanks Dad.”  She hopped down from the desk and leaned over to give him a hug.  “I think I’m going to nap before dinner.  I’ll be up in a couple hours, okay?”

Steven waved her out of the room with a smile.  He set off to get work done.  Ella left in the morning and he planned to spend the rest of the evening with her.  As pissed as he was at Zaeed, he was glad to have an uninterrupted week with his daughter.  

An hour later, an impatient knocked sounded on his front door.  Surprised, Steven made his way to entryway.  Standing outside was a very pissed off bounty hunter.

  
“Where in the bloody hell is she Steven?"


	34. Chapter 34

Steven let the door shut behind him with a thud.  He grabbed Zaeed by the collar and hauled him around, pressing his back against the painted exterior of the house.  “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t have you thrown in the brig until I decide the recruits can use you as target practice?”

“Because Ella’d be damn pissed she didn’t get to take the first bloody shot?”

“This isn’t the time to be funny Massani.  I told you years ago I didn’t care how much I owed you.  You hurt my daughter, I hurt you back.”

“Get in bloody line,” Zaeed muttered, barely loud enough for Steven to hear him.  “Linc’s already bloody gotten his punches in.”

It was only then that he noticed the bruising along his friend’s jaw.  Steven let go of Zaeed’s collar and stepped back slightly.  “Good for him.  You’re still not welcome in my home.”

“How in the goddamn hell am I supposed to apologize when no one’ll let me get bloody near her?  Even the goddamn pilot’s rerouted all my messages from her extranet account.”

Neither noticed the sound of the door opening.  “Dad? What’s with the shouting?”  Ella froze as she took her her Dad and Zaeed going toe to toe.  “Oh.  That’s why there’s shouting.”

“He was just leaving.”  Steven had his admiral voice, and face, on.

“I’m not a bloody soldier you can order around  Admiral .  I need to talk to you sweetheart.”

Ella’s arms tightened around her stomach, before nodding once.  With a slight gesture of her head, she motioned him towards the garden behind the house.  She could feel Steven gaze on them, somewhere between pissed off and concerned she guessed.

The garden had quickly become Ella’s favorite place at Steven’s retirement home.  The sunlight, lush greenery, and clean air was a refreshing change from the sterility of space stations and ships.  She made her way to a small bench nestled between two bushes along the edge of a small pond.  Sitting, she watched as Zaeed paced back and forth in front of her.  When he finally started speaking, it wasn’t exactly what she expected.

“I’ve been a goddamn bastard for as long as I can remember.  I didn’t give a shit about anyone but me.  Even when I was partners with Vido, all I worried about my own goddamn cut.  Then one day I stumble across a red headed slip of a girl and something goddamn changes.  For the first time in my life, I started looking out for someone other than myself and then she disappears and I can’t do a bloody thing to find her.  I’m goddamn useless and not more than a year later the only person I thought I could goddamn trust in the bloody galaxy shoots me in the face.”

Zaeed paused and sat next to her.  “I used rage to blind myself for three goddamn years.  Then I get a bloody message from Steven saying the little red head’s back and all grown up.  So, I go and find her, and all that rage starts to disappear again.  For ten years that it was gone because I had something a hell of a lot better than anger.”

“Then you were taken from me again and Vido was dangled in front of my face as  bait.  That rage came back and was bloody worse because you weren’t there anymore.  And when I finally had him in my sight, all that came back.  I saw red for everything he goddamn did to you, and me.  All I wanted to do was kill the bastard so that anger would be gone.  And instead all I did was hurt the only damn person I cared about.”

Zaeed reached out and took her hand.  “I’ve spent the past week trying to figure out how to undo all the goddamn pain I caused you because you’ve been the best thing to happen in my life.  I regretted the damn words before I finished saying them.”

Ella twisted her hand under his until palms met.  She intertwined her fingers with his.  “You hurt me Zaeed.  I’m not talking about the leg, but your words, your actions.  Once you saw Vido, it was like I didn’t exist.  Like you forgot everything he put me through as well.”

“I was goddamn stupid.”

“You were.”  She tightened her fingers around his.  “I can’t just forgive and forget,” she warned.

“I wouldn’t bloody expect you too.”

“We’ll get through this.  I’m not giving up on us just because we had a fight.”

“Argument might be the wrong word sweetheart.”

“Whatever you want to call it.  We’ll work it out.  Okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed.

Ella squeezed his hand once more before pulling away and standing.  She brushed a tentative kiss against his bruised cheek.  “I’m going back inside.  My ride to Omega leaves at 0700.  Meet me there?”

“I’ll be there.”

“Good.”  Ella turned and began working her way through the garden.  She had only taken a few steps before turning to face him one last time.  “I love you.  That hasn’t changed.”

She watched as the tension still present in him seemed to melt from his frame.  “I’m glad to hear it because I love you too sweet Ella.” 

“Good.  I’ll tell Linc he doesn’t need to punch you again.  He was  very insistent he get in at least one swing.” 

“Thanks for that sweetheart.”

Ella’s laugh trailed off as she entered the kitchen.  Steven was standing at the counter, studiously not looking out the window towards the retreating figure.  “Massani is not invited for dinner.”

“I didn’t expect he was.”

Steven let out a deep sigh..  “You forgave him.”

“No,” she corrected, “I accepted his apology.  There’s a big difference.”

“You plan on forgiving him.”

“Maybe.  We have time to work on it while we’re dealing with the Collectors.”  She quirked an eyebrow as he began cutting the potatoes on his board with more force than necessary.  Ella laughed at stream of words muttered under his breath.

“I’m sorry.  Did you just threaten to have Zaeed dropped out at military base that only receives supplies once a year?”

“Yes.  Last I heard they needed a new training dummy.  Two birds, one stone.”

“Do I need to remind you I’m thirty one, not twelve?”

“You’re still my daughter.”

“Would you like a list of the men who have actually broken my heart over the years?”

He paused and thought a moment about it.  “Are any of them in the Alliance?”

Ella hopped up on the counter, ignoring his disapproving scowl.  “A few of them are actually.”  She pulled the knife from his hands and set it aside.  “Dad . . .”

“What?”

“I know it’s part of the deal that you worry about me and I’ve come to learn that father’s want to fix their kids broken hearts.  The thing is, my heart isn’t broken.  We had an argument.  I admit it was a big one, but one big argument in over ten years isn’t a bad track record is it?”

“But your leg,” he argued.

“It’s not like he set the oil on fire on purpose.  Half the roof was covered in spilled fuel.  For all we know it was my heat sink that ignited the whole mess.  You may have blamed him for my leg, but I never did.”

“I hate when you use logic against me kid.”

“I know.  That’s why I love doing it.”  She snagged a piece of carrot before hopping down from the counter.  Ella popped it into her mouth before wrapping her arms around Hackett’s back.

“Thanks for looking out for me.  Even if I am an adult.”

“You’re family kiddo.  That’s what we do.”  He paused.  “And I want that list of people who broke your heart."

“Nice try Dad, not happening.”

“Can’t blame me for trying.”


	35. Chapter 35

_To: Major Linc Marshall_

_From: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: Thanks_

_Appreciate how fast you got to Aeia.  Taylor might not have survived on this ship.  We have a surprisingly high number of people with daddy issues.  He probably would’ve gotten a bullet to the brain._

_Ella_

_To: Ella Shepard_

_From: Major Linc Marshall_

_Subj: Re: Thanks_

_No thanks needed doll.  We were in the neighborhood.  You could’ve returned the clothes you stole from my apartment though. I leave you in my alone for thirty minutes and you steal half my stuff._

_Linc_

_To: Major Lincoln Marshall_

_From: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: What Clothes?_

_Seriously.  You have more clothes than most people I know.  How can you even be sure I even borrowed a hoodie?_

_Plus, I really enjoy watching Zaeed glower when I walk around in someone else’s clothes._

_E_

_To: Ella Shepard_

_From: Major Lincoln Marshall_

_Subj: Why didn’t you say so?_

_In that case, get back here.  I have more you can borrow._

_L_

_To: Ella Shepard_

_From: Major Lincoln Marshall_

_Subj: Too Late_

_We’re already on our way to investigate a Cerberus base gone quiet or rogue.  Seems to happen a lot hmmm?_

_Speaking of, my favorite biotic found information about Akuze when she was researching Pragia.  Want me to forward it to you?_

_To: Ella Shepard_

_From: Major Lincoln Marshall_

_Subj: No_

_Leave it be._

 

Something about Project Overlord rubbed Ella the wrong way from the moment The Illusive Man requested her assistance.  The fact that the usually closed lipped man refused to discuss it at all made her wary.  Add in the geth and vaguely humanistic screeches emanating throughout the facilities and Ella concerns were validated when they finally met the lone surviving scientist.

 

She, Tali, and Garrus fought their way through the remaining outposts.  Ella had little desire to save the data Archer was working on, more concerned with the human he had plugged into a machine.  It wasn’t until her cybernetics malfunctioned, sending her into a virtual reality, that she realized how horrific the scene was.

 

The VI showed her small moments of the science team attempting to communicate with the geth, and eventually hooking Archer’s brother David into a machine.  Ella fought through the disgust that churned in her stomach until the VI, and virus, were destroyed.  She refused to allow the man to stay with his brother, instead bringing him back to the Normandy and headed towards Grissom Academy.

 

David wanted no one around him, except Ella and occasionally Tali.  For the entire two day trip, she sat in the small room off of engineering with the distraught man, ignoring The Illusive Man’s demands for a meeting.  She personally escorted David to his new home and spent a few hours waiting until he was comfortably sitting in a quiet room.  Ella left a stash of ear plugs sitting by his bed, remembering the comments she heard while inside the VI.

 

Ella made her way back to the Normandy and directly into the QEC.  She spent nearly an hour yelling back and forth with The Illusive Man.  Or more accurately, she yelled, he attempted to placate her with trite sayings and platitudes.  Exhausted and annoyed, Ella bypassed her crew, except for Garrus.  He had found the turian who betrayed him on Omega and wanted to go after him. She agreed and before returning to her cabin, had Joker set course to the Citadel.  She left a trail of clothes from her cabin door to bed, only pausing long enough to tug on one of the oversized shirts she had borrowed from Linc.  Burrowing into the blankets, Ella quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.

 

Zaeed found her in bed hours later, only her head poking out from the blankets.  Since returning from Buenos Aires, things had been strained, but not irreparable between the two of them. His thumb traveled across the line of her chin, pausing where the scar she gained on Elysium once ended.  He softly shifted her hair, thankful she was there, still his to touch, even after his mistakes.  The bed shifted as she stretched and wiggled closer to his warmth.  Shedding his shoes, Zaeed stretched out against her, Ella’s back pressed against his chest.  Her eyes flicked open at the contact, still half blurry with sleep.

 

“Rumor has it half the CIC heard you and The Illusive Man get into it sweetheart.”

“He was unhappy I sent David to Grissom Academy.”

“Ruthless bastard.”

Ella rolled so her head rested against his chest, his arm draped across her.  “How could they do that?”

“Who?”

“David’s brother.  Jacob’s father.  What makes someone throw their family away like that?”

“Greed.  Power.  For some people those are bloody strong motivators.”

 

She was silent a moment.  “I’m afraid I’ll turn into that,” she admitted softly.  “It would be so easy.  No one would question.  Hell, no one can question me except the Council.  I wanted to put a bullet through Archer’s head and leave Taylor to the people he had kept hostage.  And for just a moment, I considered letting all those people burn on Zorya so we could get Vido.”

 

Zaeed’s arm tightened around her in silent comfort.  “Why didn’t you?”

“I already hear enough voices screaming in my dreams.  I don’t need to add more.”

“There’s one big goddamn difference between you and men like Ronald Taylor or Gavin Archer.”

“What’s that?  Because some days, I don’t see it.”

“The fact that you’re asking the damn question shows you care more than either man ever did.”

“That’s it?”

“Not just that sweetheart.  You care more about the people around you than you do yourself, whether you know them or not.  I’ve never met another goddamn marine who’ll give the bad guys a chance to repent and actually stand by their damn words.  Men like Archer or Taylor don’t care who they crush to get to the bloody top.  But sweetheart, you do.  You always have.”

“It’s so easy to forget that though.”

“I don’t think you will, but if you do, I won’t let you go down that path without a bloody fight.  Neither will Steven or Linc.  The thing about family is they watch out for each other sweet Ella.  Even when someone does something stupid.”

“Promise?”

“I promise sweetheart.”

Ella let herself relax against Zaeed fully.  “Stay with me?  I’ve missed you.”

“I’m not going anywhere Ella.”

 


	36. Chapter 36

Ella realized immediately that finding Sidonis was going to be a complicated mission.  Her normally level headed friend was dead set on revenge and nothing seemed to sway him from receiving it.  Once she learned that the illusive Fade was really Harkin, and the Blue Suns were working with him, complicated became downright difficult.  The trio made their way to the factory Harkin was using as an operations base and were immediately met by mercenary troops.

 The three methodically worked their way through the foundry floor, only pausing to hack the doors into a second portion of the building.  Ella’s concerns grew as Garrus mentioned the satisfaction he expected to feel after killing Sidonis.  It was unlike him.  Nothing she said seemed to make a difference.  Before entering the second, Zaeed pulled her aside.

 “He’s going to get himself bloody killed,” he murmured to her softly.

“I know, but what do I say?  How is this any different than us going after Vido?”

“It’s not, and look at where that got us.”

Ella sighed and shook her head.  “I’ll figure something out.”

 A glimpse of movement from the room ahead had them readying weapons.  Not only did Harkin have mercenaries, he had a warehouse full of mecs.  Between Garrus’ tech skills and her biotics, they made quick work of the targets spread out through the room.  Ella watched as the last of the heavy mecs exploded, knocking the a Blue Suns commander back into a wall.  She approached to confirm he was dead when his eyes opened.

 “You’re the bitch from the refinery,” he accused, short of breath.

“I’m also the bitch that has medi-gel that can save your ass.”

“Why the hell would you try and save me?”

She crouched next to him, weapon still drawn.  “Because I want you to get in touch with Vido and deliver a message to him.”

“What makes you think he’ll listen to me?”

“Because you survived the refinery, which means you left with him.  He wouldn’t take cannon fodder onto his personal craft.”  Ella paused until the man grudgingly nodded in agreement.  “So here’s the deal.  I give you medi gel and you deliver a message.  You try and double cross me, I kill you personally.  Understood?”

The man glowered, but reached for the packet of medi gel.  “I’ll pass on your damn message.”

“Tell him I’m enjoying wiping out his precious little mercenary group piece by piece.  I’ll destroy his army, his wealth, his power until he’s a pauper king.  He’ll rule over an empire of dead bodies and broken dreams.”  

The medi gel slid from the merc’s hand.  “Hell, he’ll kill me on sight for telling him that.”

“Then I suggest you stay out of weapons range.”  Ella stood and stepped back.  “I’d leave now.”  She made her way back to Zaeed and Garrus, ignoring the questioning looks both sent her.  “Let’s deal with Harkin.”

 The ex-CSec officer kept the up the charade of tough guy until he made the mistake of turning his lecherous gaze onto Ella.  Garrus’ knee and Zaeed’s rifle butt made contact on the man simultaneously.  It wasn’t long after that Harkin contacted Sidonis.  Ella had to stop her turian friend from shooting the man in his leg.  Her concern over his behavior grew.

 The three made their way to the meeting point.  Ignoring both Zaeed and Garrus’ annoyed voices on her comms, she decided to stand between the sniper rifle and Sidonis.  Her friend eventually decided to stand down, much to Ella’s relief.  Zaeed snagged her arm before they made their way back into the sky car.

 “What in the bloody hell was that?”

“I couldn’t let him do it.”

“So you stood in his crosshairs?  That was goddamn brilliant and stupid.”

Ella watched Garrus stalk towards the skycar.  “He’s going to hate me for a bit.”

“He may, but he’ll come around.”

 The trip back to the Normandy was silent.  Garrus refused to speak to either of them and Ella had no desire to keep up mindless chatter.  She watched him stalk off, hoping she hadn’t ruined one of the few friendships she had.  Half distracted, she made her way back to her cabin.  

 The light on her personal terminal blinked with unread messages.  Most were the usual drabble from The Illusive Man and other Cerberus organizations.  Kahlee Sanders had sent her an update on David, much to Ella’s happiness.  The last message was one she hadn’t expected to receive quite yet.

  _To: Ella Shepard_

_From: Vido Santiago_

_Subj: Your Words_

_You may want to watch what you say Little One.  Even Spectres brought back from the dead have weaknesses.  And many of them are on that precious ship of yours._

_It took Massani over fifteen years to find me.  What makes you think you’ll do any better love?_

_I have plans for you Little One.  Especially now I know what your tastes run towards.   Don’t ever doubt that._

_Vido_

  
She erased the message without responding.  There would be no more goading Vido.  Her actions would have to suffice now.  Ella finished clearing her inbox and lost herself in mission reports and countless staff requests.  It wasn’t until her chair spun that Ella realized she was no longer alone.  Zaeed easily lifted her from the seat and carried her towards the bed.  He twisted to sit on the mattress as she settled into his lap, head resting against his chest.

 “When you stepped in front of that bloody turian, I couldn’t help but think of Zoyra and the workers there.”  His hand ran down her back, soothing her.  “You knew revenge would only be a temporary balm didn’t you sweetheart?  That’s why you stopped Garrus . . . why you stopped me?”

 Ella let out a soft sigh and sat up to look him in the eye.  “In a way.  I knew Garrus would regret the impulse afterwards.  Maybe not for killing Sidonis but for how, and where, he chose to do it.  With you and what happened on Zorya. . . In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you hurt a bystander.  It’s not your style.”

“I’m a bloody bounty hunter sweetheart, not a bleeding heart.”

“Didn’t say you were, but I know you.  You would’ve regretted letting those hostages die.”

Zaeed tangled his hands in her hair.  “How’d you get so bloody smart Sweet Ella?”

She leaned forward until her lips were nearly touching his.  “Just an observation Massani.”  She brushed a soft kiss against his lips once, then twice before his hands tightened against her hair.  Ella’s lips parted on a whimper and Zaeed pressed forward, deepening the kiss.  

 Ella twisted until she straddled his lap, never breaking the kiss.  Her hands twisted into the fabric of his shirt as she pushed him down against the bed.  Impatient hands shook slightly as they they shed pieces of clothes.  She stood long enough to remove his jeans and wiggle free from her own, still clad in her shirt.

 “Do you trust me?”  Ella waited until he nodded yes.  “I wanna try something.”  

His grin turned nearly feral.  “Go ahead sweetheart.”

Ella matched his smile with one of her own before freezing him in stasis.  She crawled up his immobile body.  Occasionally, she would send a small pulse of biotic energy against a place she knew was sensitive.  The sounds of his groans filled the cabin.

 Wordlessly she slid back down his body, taking his cock into her hands.  Zaeed groaned, unable to move as she began an almost torturously slow exploration.  Ella traced his length with the pads of her fingers, her touch no quite firm enough to satisfy.  Her hands would occasionally glow with biotics, sending a bolt of pleasure through him.  After countless minutes, she lowered her head, her tongue following the paths her fingers had taken.  Still bound in stasis, Zaeed could do nothing but lie and take the delicious torment.

 He watched as Ella’s lips curved in a satisfied smile before slipping his cock between her lips.  Enjoyment warred with the need to move, to touch her as her mouth slid down his length.  He caught her glancing up at him and barked out a laugh as she winked at him before focusing on his cock once again.  Her lips tightened around him as she hummed lightly with content.  A warning growl was all he could manage before he came.  Ella’s lips stayed around him until he began to soften.  

 The familiar tingles began to fade as the stasis field faded.  Zaeed’s muscles flexed as he regained control, his hands tangling and tugging lightly in her hair.  Ella curled up against him, pushing his questing fingers away.

 “It’s my bloody turn,” he complained.

“Not this time.  Tonight I win.”

“Just remember sweetheart.  Revenge can be very sweet.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.” 


	37. Chapter 37

_E.S.- My super secret spies tell me you have shore leave the next few weeks._

_L.M.- Hackett is not a super secret spy Doll._

_E.S.- Maybe it’s not him. . .okay yes it’s him.  So. . .shore leave plans?_

_L.M.- I was planning on a vacation.  Why do I feel that’s changing?_

_E.S.- Not changing.  Well, location maybe.  I just finished a few missions on Tuchanka.  There’s one less thresher maw out there now._

_L.M.- Please tell me I mis-read that.  You did not say thresher maw._

_E.S.- I did say thresher maw._

_L.M.- I think I need a drink and an explanation._

_E.S.- Illium?_

_L.M.- Eternity.  Tonight.  You, me, and drinks.  You better be out of uniform doll._

_E.S.- Demanding._

_L.M.- Bring the bounty hunter.  I could use the eye candy._

_E.S.- Do I need to remind you he’s mine?_

_L.M.- A man can dream Doll._

Ella closed the messaging program and stretched back out on the bed, pillowing her head on Zaeed’s chest.  Finding Mordin’s protege and his barbaric genophage studies had been relatively easy.  Helping Grunt kill the thresher maw during his rite of passage had been a bit more taxing.  Her armor had melted in multiple places and she had suffered a few minor burns.  Her upgrades had healed them already, but the doctor had urged caution.  Ella decided it was a perfect time to deliver the Cerberus information on the Shadow Broker to Liara.

“Making plans without me sweetheart?” His voice was a comfortable rumble in her ear, still rough with sleep.  

“Since you’re snooping, you see he invited you as well,” she pointed out.  

“Eye candy?”

Ella trailed fingers across the lines of his tattoos.  “Why do you think I keep you around Massani?  I mean, yeah, you’re handy with a gun, but for the most part you’re here to pretty up the place.”  A brief flex of muscle was the only warning she had before Zaeed had her flipped, pinning her against the bed.

“I’m not bloody pretty Ella.”

“I beg to differ.  My view right now is pretty spectacular.”

“Let’s see if we can’t make it better.”  His hands drug across the fabric of her shirt and Ella couldn’t help but shiver.  Fingers had just delved under the hem when her terminal began to beep an incoming vid call.  “Ignore it sweetheart.”  Zaeed’s lips settled against the curve of her neck, nipping her skin.  

Ella tried to ignore the incessant beeping.  She succeeded in the first and second round of the noise.  By the third time her terminal sounded, both she and Zaeed were completely distracted.  She padded across the room, tugging her hair into a messy knot.  Steven’s concerned, yet aggravated face appeared across her screen.

“Thresher maws?  You had to go after a thresher maw?”

“Hi to you too Steven.  I’m fine, thanks for asking.”  Ella paused, eyes narrowing in accusation.  “Wait a minute.  I haven’t done my report on the thresher maw yet.  How’d you know?”  She watched the concern fade from his face and slight embarrassment take its place.

“I’m aware of what happens on that ship Ella, even if it isn’t an Alliance vessel anymore.  Enough with distractions, a thresher maw?”

Ella shrugged.  “It happens.  You’ll get the full details later.  When I write my report.  Now I apparently need to get dressed and go have drinks with Lincoln and Zaeed.”

“I worry about you kiddo.”  The concern was back in both his face and voice.

“I know you do.  But I’m fine.  You can’t protect me from every injury Steven.”

“I know.  Stay safe on Illium.  No ryncol.”

“Yes sir, Dad sir.”  She shut the video message off with a chuckle.  Zaeed was lounging on the stairs, back pressed against the fish tank.  “You’re dressed,” she said, disappointed.

“I have a few things to do sweetheart.  I’ll try and catch up with you and Marshall later.”

“Are you trying to avoid another fist to the face?  I told you he’s over it.”

Zaeed scowled.  “I’m not avoiding the bloody man.  I’ll find you later.”  He brushed a kiss against her cheek and left the cabin, muttering something about impertinent redheads under his breath.

Slightly surprised by his abrupt exit, Ella spent the next few minutes distractedly figuring out an outfit that wasn’t based around her fatigues.  Eventually she settled on a blue dress that had somehow made its way into her closet.  The front hem hit just above her knees, while the back trailed to mid calf.  Knee high black boots, cropped leather jacket, and silver jewelry finished off the outfit.

Eternity was relatively crowded when she finally arrived.  Most the patrons were asari and turian, with the occasional salarian and quarian thrown in.  Linc was already holding court at a small table, surrounded by a few asari and one of the few other humans in the bar.  Ella couldn’t stop herself from crossing the small dance floor, leaning across the table, and pressing her lips against his in greeting.  

The other chairs were all taken, so she perched in his lap, ignoring the dirty looks thrown her way by the asari.  Recognizing her mood as playful, Linc took it upon himself to order her drinks, wrapping an arm around her waist.  Ella sipped on drinks made with a fruity asari liquor as she and Linc openly flirted.  Eventually the crowd dissipated, leaving them alone.  

“Not that I don’t appreciate the help doll, but what was that about?”

She shrugged and slid off his lap.  “What can I say?  Inspiration struck.”

“Things between you and Massani okay?”

Her smile was absolutely wicked, “They’d be better if Steven hadn’t interrupted us earlier.  Why do you ask?”

“He’s not here and you’re crawling in my lap.  What’s a man to think?”

“That maybe his best friend is tired of being stuck on a ship run by people she can’t trust, has a suicide mission looming on her near horizon and is so damn tired of being so serious all the time?”

He tugged her chair around the table and slung an arm around her shoulders.  “Well then, I’m duty bound as your best friend to liven things up for you.  At least for the night.”  

The next few hours passed in a haze of alcohol and laughter.  Linc scolded her gently for going toe to toe with a thresher maw while Ella countered that a grenade launcher evened the score.  He told her about his recent dating disasters and hinted that she’d have a ring on her finger before long, laughing at the look of shock on her face.  She could feel herself relaxing as the small table filled with empty glasses.  

They were both blurry eyed and tipsy when Linc stood and pulled her out onto the dance floor.  His hands rested on her hips, a sign she was off limits.  Ella didn’t dance often, but it was a skill she had picked up young.  More than once The Reds had sent her to clubs in their territory to distract a mark.

She let herself get lost in the music; eyes closed and body resting gently against Linc’s.  There was a comfortable familiarity about it.  A few songs in, he urged her to spin, her back pressed against his front.  It was only then she felt the gaze settled on her.  Ella forced herself to focus and open her eyes.

Zaeed stood at the edge of the dance floor, gaze firmly on her and Linc.  Floating on a cloud of alcohol induced bravery, her smile was nearly a taunt as she added a bit more sway into her hips and linked one hand around the back of Linc’s head.  She could hear her friend’s chuckle in her ear.  “He’s gonna kill you Doll,” he murmured, lips close to her ear so she could hear.  It was a decidedly sexual pose.  The two stayed together for one more dance as Zaeed watched.  As the song slowed, Linc untangled his arms from her and gave her a gentle push towards the bounty hunter.

She stood toe to toe with him on the edge of the dance floor.  As she reached for him, Zaeed gently batted her hand away.  “I’m walking out that door behind me.  If you follow, you do what I goddamn ask for the rest of the night, no arguments.  I’m in bloody charge until the morning.”  He watched her eyes widen slightly before nodding in agreement.  Without a word, he spun and made his way towards the exit.

Zaeed led her towards a rapid transit terminal  As they approached the terminal he turned to her.  “I want the bloody omni tool.”  It wasn’t a request.  

“Zaeed. . .”

“No arguments sweetheart.”

“And you won’t get any.  But if something happens on the ship, or to the crew. . .” her voice trailed off as he settled a finger across her lips.

“I’ve taken care of it Sweet Ella.  You need a night where the weight of the goddamn world isn’t on your shoulders.  Now, are you going to give me the damn omni tool?”

Ella handed it over and followed him into the transit terminal.  He wouldn’t tell her where exactly they were going, but it didn’t surprise her when they stopped at one of the nicer resorts on Illium.  In addition to traditional rooms, they had multiple private bungalows spread out over their grounds.  Their vehicle took them directly to the door of a private cabin.  

Zaeed watched her prowl around the small one bedroom cabin a bit.  He knew she wouldn’t feel comfortable until she had memorized the layout.  It was a routine they had repeated through the years.  It wasn’t until her third circuit that Zaeed wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her back towards him.  “Enough sweetheart.”  

Ella twined her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a searing kiss.  Her tongue flicked across his before pulling back to nip along his neck in a series of kisses.  Zaeed let her play for a moment before pushing her back lightly.  “I’m in charge tonight sweet Ella, not you.”  He chuckled lightly at the pout that blossomed across her face.  “Lose the boots, and jacket, then get on the bed, on your knees.”

Zaeed waited in the hallway for a moment, shedding his own jacket and button down.  He grabbed a small package off of a side table before making his way into the room, pausing in the doorway to admire her.  Ella had settled herself exactly as he asked, fidgeting, but hands loose at her side.  She glanced over her shoulder as the bed dipped under his weight.  

He reached for her wrist, pulling it gently behind her back.  She stiffened slightly at the quiet snick of a handcuff fastening.  “Friend of mine has access to all sorts of biotic dampening gadgets.”  Zaeed’s tone was almost conversational as he casually tightened the second loop around her other wrist.  “Once I do this,” he pressed a small button on the side, “it’s goodbye biotics.  At least for a bit.”  He wrapped a small piece of cloth around her eyes before leaning towards her.  “This okay sweetheart?”  He didn’t fight to hide the smile that crossed his face when she nodded yes.  

Lips and teeth marked the skin of her back and neck while his hands trailed across the fabric of her dress.  A gentle caress across her chest before changing directions, never lingering in one place for too long.  Nearly silent whimpers caught in her throat by the time his fingers slid under the hem of her skirt.  The two were pressed close enough that she could feel his silent laugh when fingertips met the holster riding high on her thigh.  Zaeed could almost see the questions forming as he left it in place and pulled away.

Wordlessly, he rolled onto his back and reached for her.  Hands on her waist, he lifted Ella, settling her legs on either side of his stomach.  He waited until she was balanced before he pulled his palms down from waist to knee, then up under her skirt.  With a practiced flick, he separated knife from holster.  

The cool metal pressed against her skin, sending a shiver through her body.  Zaeed watched in fascination as her muscles twitched under the cool metal as he slid the flat side of the blade up her thigh.  The knife tip crept under the lace of her underwear before separating the fabric.  “Damnit Zaeed.  I liked this pair,” she complained.

“I’ll buy a new goddamn pair,” his voice low enough to be a growl.  “Now be quiet.”   Ella huffed out an irritated sigh, but was quiet as he slit the lace on the opposite side.  He pulled the knife blade flat back down her thigh before slipping it into the holster.  A few flicks of his fingers had the smooth leather pulling away from her skin and dropped, safely, to the floor beside them.  Zaeed slipped the scraps of torn lace from between her legs and turn his entire focus back on Ella.

His explorations were unhurried as he ignored her impatient sighs that slowly turned to needy whimpers.  The first time she rocked against his hand, Zaeed stilled her with a warning grip of her hips and a stern “don’t goddamn move.”  He held her anchored against him with one hand as his his other continued to tease. Ella’s hips rocked again and his hand pulled away completely before he landed a sharp slap against her ass.  

He kept her on edge, bringing her to the point of orgasm before pulling away.  It wasn’t until Zaeed could feel the muscle in her legs tremble that he slid his thumb across her clit.  Ella let out a low cry as her back bowed, the energy usually expelled through her biotics coursing through her body instead.  He slowed the movements of his fingers, dragging the moment out until she breathlessly asked him to stop.

Zaeed gave her a moment into recover before lifting her off him.  As she caught her breath, he knelt beside her, undoing the cuffs.  He watched the brief shimmer of blue that flashed against her skin before placing both hands in front of her, reattaching the cuffs.  As he leaned her forward, placing her forearms against the fabric of the bedspread, he whispered into her ear.

“That was one sweetheart and the night has just begun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella's outfit: http://missmeggowrites.tumblr.com/post/83832887284/ella-and-linc-go-out-pt-2


	38. Chapter 38

Ella had only been up a matter of minutes when she heard the omni tool start beeping from wherever Zaeed put it the night before.  After a quick search, she found the discarded tool on a kitchen counter, buzzing again.  EDI’s repeated message was concise and had Ella dashing back to the bedroom.

A quick shake to his shoulders had Zaeed more or less awake.  “Shots were fired at Liara’s place,” Ella told him breathlessly, throwing clothes on.  “We need to get over there now.  Kasumi’s going to meet us.”

The rest of the day the three of them spent combing through Liara’s apartment with the help of Vasir, another Spectre.  Finding the hidden data disc was reassuring, her friend couldn’t be too badly hurt if she was still devising puzzles.  Watching Baria Frontiers explode, then fighting through the Shadow Broker forces had Ella regretting her thoughts on Liara’s safety.

Finding her alive was only slightly tempered by the fact that Vasir was an agent for the Shadow Broker.  Liara was terrifyingly intent on destroying the other asari, something Ella hadn’t prepared for.  The deadly fight against the double agent spread across Illium until the two women and Zaeed managed to kill her.  Data in hand, they returned to The Normandy and set course for the Broker’s ship.

Ella spent a few hours catching up with Liara as they approached the star system.  Eventually she excused herself, needing a nap and food before attempting to take the well-fortified ship.  As she made her way to the kitchen, Ella was distracted by the sounds of a hushed conversation in the mess.

“Have you told her yet?”  The gravelly tone of Thane’s voice was easy to identify.

“Not yet”  The sound of Zaeed’s voice had her stopping short.

“Do you think that’s wise?”

“And what the bloody hell do I tell her?”

“It’s simple.  The truth.  Your siha has come back. Do not let your past put that in jeopardy.”

“She has enough on her goddamn mind.  She doesn’t need my problems as well.”

“The Commander is an intelligent woman Massani.  She will figure it out.”  The sadness in his voice made Ella wonder if Thane was thinking of his wife.

“I’ll deal with it when we cross that goddamn bridge.”

Quietly, she returned to the elevator, her appetite gone.  A few ration bars would hold her over until after the mission.  She tried willing herself to sleep as Zaeed and Thane’s conversation replayed in her head.  What didn’t he want to tell her?  He thought it would upset her, that much was clear.  

She did her best to push the unease off until after the mission.  After their talk on The Normandy, Liara was back to her old, slightly sarcastic self, which made climbing on the outside of a ship in a lightning storm a bit less daunting.  Ella would never admit it, but she found shooting the lightning capacitors more fun than she should have.  It was the only bright side in a mission that ended with Zaeed knocked out under a pile of rubble and her fighting a yahg in hand to hand combat.  

Ella forced a complaining Feron and Zaeed onto The Normandy for medical attention before rejoining Liara on the ship.  Together they explored the ship, searching out hidden areas.  Liara told her to make use of the unlocked terminals.  It didn’t take long to find information not only on herself; but every member of her squads, The Illusive Man, her dad, and Anderson.  She made mental note to have Steven talk to David about his drinking.  

Zaeed’s dossier had her pausing.  It seemed the old Shadow Broker seemed unhappy that her relationship with the bounty hunter and escaped even his wide network of spies.  What upset Ella however, was a transmission from Zaeed from about a year before she was brought back to life.  She read the transcript twice, not quite believing the words in front of her.  His conversation with Thane a few hours previous was making more sense.  

She waited until The Normandy was on their way to collect the Reaper IFF before approaching Zaeed.  Chakwas assured her there was no permanent damage from the ship’s ceiling falling on the hard headed bounty hunter.  Ella found him on the engineering deck, throwing knives into the makeshift target he had set up.

The small cot, tucked behind crates now, still felt safer to her than the cabin ever would.  She had adjusted to the gaping skylight slowly, but there were still moments she felt exposed.  Ella watched as Zaeed loosed the last knife, hitting the numbers dead center.  He turned and made his way over to the cot.  

She pushed him away slightly when he sat down next to her.  Ignoring the questions in his eyes, she handed him the datapad.  Before leaving the Shadow Broker’s ship, Ella had downloaded his dossier onto it.  Zaeed’s face went carefully blank as he read the decrypted transmission.  

“Where’d you get this Ella?”

“The old Shadow Broker had lots of interesting files on all of us.  This in particular caught my eye though.”  She pulled the datapad from his limp grasp and glanced it over.  “Just. . . tell me why?”

“Why the bloody hell not?  I didn’t have a goddamn thing to live for anymore.”

“So you decided the best thing to do was ‘suicide by Omega?’”

Zaeed pushed himself off the cot and began pacing.  He made nearly a dozen circuits of the small room before stopping to lean against the wall across from her.  “Remember when I told you I needed a hell of a lot of rage to get numb again?”  He waited until she nodded yes.  “I didn’t stay bloody numb.  I couldn’t take out the people that hurt you because they didn’t fucking exist.  I took more and more reckless jobs until I got one on Kajhe.  I was supposed to take out some goddamn drell assassin.” 

“Are you telling me you were hired to take out Thane?”

“You’re too bloody smart for your own good.  Yes.  I was supposed to take care of Thane.  I trailed him back to his planet.  It would’ve been so damn easy since he was lost in a flashback.  Then I realized where we were.  He was mourning his wife and. . . I couldn’t bloody do it.”  

Zaeed took a deep breath and pulled himself back from the memories.  “When he came to, I realized we had a lot in bloody common.  Damn drell informed me I was in a battle sleep, just as he was.  So we fought together, taking down the bastards who killed his wife.  I couldn’t help you, but I could help him.  Then it was done and Miranda approached me about working with Commander Shepard.”

He began walking slowly towards Ella.  “I wouldn’t let them destroy you like that.  I thought they were using a goddamn clone to use your name.  So I decided the way I could be a big goddamn hero was to take out the imposter and clean up a small section of the galaxy as I went out of it.  Then in you walk and you’re no clone, so the whole little plan I had envisioned gets thrown out the window.”

With a deep sigh, Ella tugged him down onto the cot.  She climbed into his lap, wrapping her arms around him.  Her head burrowed against his neck as they sat there in silence.  “Say something sweetheart.”

She pulled back slightly to look at him.  “I hate that you felt that it was your only viable option, but . . . I wasn’t alive.  I can’t control what happened while I was dead.  I’m just glad you’re still here.  It would’ve been a lonely galaxy if I had woken up and you were gone.”

“I don’t deserve you, you realize that?”

“Why?  Because you’re a gruff, supposedly heartless bounty hunter who most people think fall on the wrong side of the law?”

“That’s exactly why.”

“But that’s why I love you.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Just, no more suicide by Omega thoughts, please?”

“You’re here now.  I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

“Let’s keep it that way.”


	39. Chapter 39

_S.H.- Any idea why I haven’t heard anything from Ella in either an official or unofficial way in over a week?_

_Z.M.- There was an. . .incident.  Goddamn Illusive Man sent us onto a half dead Reaper filled with husks.  If it wasn’t for a fucking geth, we never would’ve made it out._

_S.H.- I’m sorry.  Did you say geth?_

_Z.M.- Long bloody story.  We’re on our way to handle another geth situation.  I’ll have her message you when we get back._

Fighting side by side with a geth and a quarian was the oddest thing Ella had ever done.  Tali had grumbled about coming along, but no one on the ship knew more about the race of AI’s than her.  The decision to not upload the Reaper code was a difficult one, but none of them felt completely comfortable with rogue, unknown technologies being unleashed across the galaxy.  

The minute the shuttle docked, the ground crew knew something was wrong.  There were no crew members bustling around the dock and her calls were going unanswered.  Even EDI was quiet.  Her team each took a separate floor of the ship and it was the same.  Everyone had vanished and there were signs of struggles almost everywhere.  It wasn’t until Ella and Zaeed rounded a corner and found Joker half limp and passed out that she really began to panic.

Jacob and Miranda helped Mordin get Joker to the med bay, while Tali, Legion, and Ella worked on figuring out what happened.  Eventually EDI came back online and informed them that she was now unshackled.  Her systems had briefly gone offline after the attack while her systems adjusted to the change in her security measures.

Surveillance bugs The Illusive Man had placed throughout the ship showed the entire attack.  Ella couldn’t seem to contain the occasional flares of her biotics as she worked to keep her temper in check.  The crew all agreed that it was time to pass through the Omega 4 relay.  They began preparations and Ella conferenced with The Illusive Man, her distrust of the man becoming more evident.

_E.S.- Dad?_

_E.S.- Are you there?_

_E.S.- Damnit, please be there._

_S.H.- What’s the matter kiddo?  Are you okay?_

_E.S.- The Collectors took my crew.  Everyone but Joker and my ground team._

_S.H.- Everyone?_

_E.S.- Yeah.  I. . .we’re going through the relay in a few hours.  I don’t know what’s going to happen._

_S.H.- I do._

_E.S.- What?_

_S.H.- You’re going to get your crew back and take out whatever’s waiting behind that relay.  Then you’re coming home and joining me back on Arcturus._

_E.S.- What makes you so confident that’s what’s going to happen?_

_S.H.- Because it’s an order kiddo.  You’re coming home._

_E.S.- I. . .Thanks.  I’ll do my best._

_S.H.- You always do.  I love you Ella._

_E.S.- Love you too Steven._

* * *

The Collector’s ship revealed horror after horror; piles of bodies, genetically modified Protheans, enough storage pods for countless victims.  Ella struggled to compartmentalize.  The only thing keeping her going was the need to rescue her crew.  At this point it didn’t matter if they Cerberus or not, no one deserved this as an end.

Her team seemed to feel the same, grim determination as they made their way through the base.  Each firefight seemed to take a bit longer, the Collector’s pushing back a bit more.  Ella was honest with herself that finding her crew in the behemoth of a base was either a miracle or a trap.  She sent Mordin back to The Normandy with the survivors, knowing they’d need medical attention almost immediately.  

When they finally had to split, Ella was torn.  She hated leaving any of her crew behind as a diversion, even if she did trust Garrus to keep them safe.  Jack’s biotics protected them from the seeker swarms until the last push.  The began to waver slightly as her biotics were strained.  Finally, Ella placed a hand on the other woman’s shoulder.  “Let me do the rest,” she murmured, casting her own barrier.  As they approached the far door, she felt the familiar shot of heat through her amp as it failed.  Ella pushed through the pain, getting her group to safety.  

Together, her ground team fought their way through the rest of the base, ignoring The Illusive Man’s demands they preserve it.  There was nothing worth keeping on the ship of horrors, as she’d taken to calling it.   The humanoid reaper proved difficult, but not impossible to destroy.

They made a mad dash through the crumbling base, making it to The Normandy in the last few seconds.  Zaeed and Grunt made it onto the ship easily, but a falling piece of debris meant Ella had to jump for her.  Her fingers clasped at the edges of the ship’s door as Grunt and Joker took pot shots at the swarms of Collector’s closing in on them.  Zaeed hauled Ella into the ship with a muttered “I got you sweetheart.”

 

* * *

Exhausted, Ella pulled up a vid-chat and settled onto the couch in her .  The ship had just broken through the Omega 4 relay and was slowly limping its way back towards Omega.  Steven answered the hail on the second buzz.

She gave him a tired smile.  “We’re back.  Everyone is accounted for.”

“Any injuries?”

“A few here and there.  Mordin and Chakwas are taking care of them.”

“And you?”

“Me what?”

“Ella,” his voiced carried a hint of warning.  

“I burnt out my amp and had a chunk of the Collector’s base try and crush me, but overall, I’m okay.  I’ll just have a headache until I get a new amp.”

She watched as relief settled across his face.  “What’s next Commander?”

Ella sobered slightly.  “Now I tell The Illusive Man to fuck off, get my ship fixed, and make my way to Arcturus to face the music.”

Steven ran a hand across his face.  “I’ll meet you on Omega.  My fleet is heading that way to deal with a situation.”

“What kind of situation?”

“One I may need your help with.  But first you need to get an amp and about twelve hours of rack time.”

“That I can do.”  Ella turned towards the door as it slid open, her face softening as Zaeed stepped through.

Steven’s gaze settled on the bounty hunter.  “Get some sleep kiddo.  I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Bye Dad.”

Zaeed waited until she had closed the vid chat before making his way into the small living area.  “You okay sweetheart?”

Ella held her arms up and he obliged in picking her up, carrying her towards the bed.  “Sore,” she admitted.  “My head hurts.”

“We need to get a goddamn stash of amps for you.”

“Makes sense.  I’ll have EDI put in a request- oh wait, we don’t have to make requests anymore.”

Zaeed lowered her into the bed before kicking off his own boots.  He pulled the blankets up around them gently and let Ella curl up against his side.  “We deserve a goddamn vacation.”


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to go in a slightly. . .modified route for the next few chapters. Most of the major things will stay the same. A few others will change, but the overall ME3 story will be there.

“I don’t bloody like it.”

“So you’ve said.”  Ella looked up from the mission information Steven had sent her from Omega.  “This is what I do Zaeed,” she commented mildly.  “I’ve been working infiltration missions since I was nineteen.  This is no different.”

“You’re infiltrating a damn batarian prison.”

“You make it sound like I haven’t done it before.”  

Zaeed plucked the datapad from her hand.  “Care to repeat that sweetheart?”  

Ella rolled her shoulders and stretched out on the couch, pillowing her feet in his lap.  “I’m guessing the reason Steven asked me is that I’ve infiltrated a batarian prison before.  The slave camps are harder oddly enough.”

His hands wrapped around her calf, rubbing lightly.  “I’m going to kill your bloody father.”

“Why?  He didn’t have a say in it.” Ella grabbed the pad back from him.  “What do you think I did before entering the N program?”

“I tried to not think about it sweetheart.”

“I’ll be fine.  Steven’s sending me new Alliance issued armor to Illium.  Once we drop off the last group, I’ll head to Aratoh.  I’m guessing you’re staying aboard?”

“Damn right I am.”

 

* * *

_ E.S.- I have Kenson.  Something’s not right though. _

_ S.H.- What do you mean? _

_ E.S.- Something feels . . . off.  She’s being cagey.  We’re going back to the base.  I’ll let you know in a few hours. _

_ S.H.- See what you can find out.  I expect to hear from you in three hours.  Understood Commander? _

_ E.S.- Understood sir. _

* * *

_ Z.M.- That goddamn fancy armor you sent her went offline nearly 24 hours ago.  Where the fuck is she Steven? _

_ S.H- I don’t know.   _

_ Z.M.- What do you mean you don’t bloody know?   _

_ S.H.- There was a huge spike in adrenaline, and her medigel was deployed.  Last reading we had was a large dose of tranquilizers entering her bloodstream and then nothing.  We have her last coordinates, but the base was on a damn asteroid.  We’re doing the best we can. _

_ Z.M.- Send me the bloody coordinates.  I have a source who can figure it out faster than your goddamn marines. _

_ S.H.- Sending them now.  My ship is already heading that way. _

_ Z.M.- She better not be hurt Steven or I’ll goddamn kill you. _

_ S.H.- Get in line Massani. _

Zaeed shut the messaging program down.  “EDI, you get those coordinates?”

“I did.  I’ll have the Commander’s location in approximately three minutes.  Should I request that Joker set a course?”

“Do it and send them to Hackett once you're done.”

Nearly a day later, the Normandy docked with Hackett’s ship.  The admiral made his way on board alone, ignoring the sideways glances from Alliance personnel.  Officially, the Alliance still hadn’t recognized Ella as being a non-Cerberus operative.  Zaeed met him at the airlock, impatience evident in his expression.

“Her suit went online just a few minutes ago.  I can’t get comms to work, but her vitals are good.”

“You’re bloody sure it’s her.”

“The suit recognizes her biometrics.  It’s Ella.”

“Patch the link into the Normandy.  EDI, keep an eye on her will you?”

“Of course.”

Steven paused and glanced at the blue orb that appeared next to Joker.  “Why do I suspect that is  not a VI?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“No, I’d rather be in the dark on this one honestly.”

“Good.”

The two men made their way to Shepard’s cabin, neither speaking.  EDI confirmed that the suit biometrics were in fact working, and she had found the comm signal.  They could listen and record, but not respond to anything Ella said.  The sound of gunfire filled the small living quarters, both flinching when they heard her mutter about losing shields.  

Zaeed began pacing the room when he heard Ella give the orders to commence with The Project, even after hearing the expected casualties.  “She must have a bloody good reason to go through with that.”  His relief at hearing Ella try and call for an evacuation was cut short.

“That’s Kenson.”  Steven glanced over to EDI’s interface.  “Is there anyway you can patch us through her visor?”  The vid screen crackled to life as they two men watched her fight through the base.  Kenson fought her at every turn, doing her best to sabotage The Project.  The two exchanged a look when the doctor began ranting about The Reapers.

“She’s bloody indoctrinated,” Zaeed muttered.

Both men ran towards the door when the feed cut out during an explosion.  EDI took control of the elevator, directing it to the shuttle bay.  They both changed into armor in record time as they settled into the shuttle.  Neither was waiting any longer.

 

* * *

  A bolt of pain shot through her head, pulling her back from the darkness.  The persistent drone of the VI warned her they were drawing closer to the relay.  Ella willed the room to stop spinning as she got to her feet.  She blindly began following the computer’s directions towards the evacuation shuttles.

The ensuing firefight passed in a daze.  It quickly became evident he she had a concussion.  Each time she used her biotics was agonizing, but ammo was low, she had no choice.  At least her new amp was still working.  Sheer luck had her finding the comm towers.  Ella slumped down beside the console, willing her repairs to go faster.  

She didn’t look up until familiar yellow and black armor flashed into her sight.  “I got you sweet Ella.”  At Zaeed’s words she sagged, letting him and Steven take her full weight. 

“We have to get out of here.  The relay. . . sorry.  So sorry,” she managed to get out before going under.   

 

* * *

The familiar scents of the med bay were the first thing she recognized.  Two familiar voices, one feminine and one masculine, murmured quietly beside the bed.

“You don’t give her enough credit sometimes Steven.  She’s a strong woman.”

“I sent her in there.”

“You sent her to do a job she’s done before.  Don’t give me that look, I’m well aware of what the Commander did before she joined the N program.”

The silence, only interspersed by the slight rustle of fabric had Ella prying her eyes open.  Karin had wrapped her arms around Hackett in a hug that was too familiar to be just about comfort.

“So does this mean I get to start calling you Mom?”  Ella’s voice was scratchy, but loud enough to be heard.  They pulled apart to look at her.

“I would prefer you continue to call me Doctor or Karin, at least for the time being Commander.” Chakwas glanced between the two.  “I’ll go inform Mr. Massani you’re awake.”

“Now I know how you seemed to know about my missions before I finished them.”  Ella struggled to sit up until Steven offered his arm.  She took it thankfully.  “How long was I out?”

“Not long.  It was decided to let you sleep while your upgrades dealt with the concussion.”  Karin watched Ella’s  commander mask fall into place.

“No one made it out, did they?” Steven’s heavy sigh told her everything she needed to know.  “I didn’t have a choice.” 

“I know.  Your . . . VI was able to patch us into your comms and visor.  Both have already been forwarded to Alliance brass.  The batarians are out for blood though.”

“I figured they would be.”  Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes.  “I let them die.  I saw that screen saying 305,000 batarians were there and I did it anyways.  How do I live with that?”

“By remembering how many people you saved.  You’ve given us time to prepare kid.”

She sniffed the tears back.  “It’s only gonna get worse, isn’t it?”

He wrapped his arms around her.  “I’m not going to lie to you, things are going to get a hell of a lot worse.  We’ll do what we can to prepare before they get here though.”  Steven rubbed soothing circles against her back.  

The quiet swish of the med bay doors had Ella looking over Steven’s shoulder.  Her first thought was Zaeed looked  tired .  She waved him forwarded as her dad stepped back.  “We’re going to need to discuss what happens next Ella.  The Admiralty Board as already said they want to speak to you and we need to find somewhere safe.”

“I trust you Dad.  You tell me where I need to be, and I’ll be there.”

Steven stepped aside so Zaeed could take his place, heading towards the door.  “I’ll be in contact in a few days.  Until then, I’d suggest Joker keep you out of Council space.”

As the doors slid shut, Zaeed cupped her face in his hands, staring at her.  “Never bloody do that again Ella.”

“I feel like I have to point out, the infiltration and extraction went fine.  I didn’t didn’t know she was fucking indoctrinated until it was too late.”

“Mouthy, stubborn woman.”

“Yes, yes I know.  Can we get out of here?  As much as I love Karin, I want my own bed.”

Zaeed slid an arm under her, helping Ella stand.  “I’ve been given strict instructions from the good doctor.  I’m to try and get you to comply with a few days of bedrest.”

“I can think of some things we can do.” 

She didn’t try to hide the laugh that bubbled through her at his muttered response.


	41. Chapter 41

_S.H.- Where in the hell are you?_

_E.S.- Playing hide and seek._

_S.H.- You are an almost 32 year old highly trained Alliance marine and Spectre.  You do not play children’s games._

_E.S.- How do you think I stayed so sharp?  Speaking of, I need to go before you can track this omni tool.  Bye Steven._

_S.H.- Ella get your ass back to the base._

_~User disconnected, trace failed~_

Ella dropped the borrowed omni tool into Vancouver Bay with a sigh.  She’d feel guilty if she hadn’t also slipped the original owner a credit chit to replace the tool ten times over.  Avoiding the traffic cameras along the road, she made her way to the small park she had seen from gilded cage.

Steven and David both claimed it was for her own safety.  It had taken the Alliance board three weeks, but they finally agreed there was nothing she could to prevent destroying the relay.  Too bad the batarians didn’t see it that way.  She hadn’t left the base since arriving and her hulking shadow followed her every footstep.  No non military personnel were allowed to visit, even Zaeed.  They needed to keep up the pretense she was actually in military confinement, not protective custody.  David and Linc had been trying to stop by at least daily, but even that wasn’t consistent.  Steven hadn’t visited her once.  

Five weeks into her confinement, Ella had seen her window of opportunity and taken it.  Vega had been called away and the replacement shadow didn’t pay enough attention.  It had only taken moments for her to slip the guard and make her way out a shuttle bay door, one of the few that didn’t have cameras.  Liara had messaged her coordinates to multiple bug out bags her network had set up, just in case.

Her alliance fatigues had been changed out for a pair of jeans, black hoodie with white stripes along the right arm, and a pair of running shoes.  Using one of the credit chits that Liara had promised were untraceable, she bought a grey ball cap, shoving her distinctive red hair under it.  In under thirty minutes, she had gone from most recognizable human in the galaxy to just another Vancouver citizen.

The small park overlooked the Alliance dry dock facilities.  Pushing her luck, Ella wandered closer to see what the growing number of tourists were enthralled by.  Sitting outside the main doors, was The Normandy, waiting to begin the next set of retrofits.  She gave the ship a single wistful look before heading back into the park.  It wouldn’t do her any good to get closer to the ship, someone might recognize her.

She found a bench near the back of the park that had clear lines of sight to the two main entrances.  Ella knew it was only a matter of time before Steven tracked her down, but that didn’t mean she had to make her eventual recapture easy on him.  Slumping down, she pulled a datapad out of her knapsack, checking on the data Liara had sent her.  

_~Secured Line Opened~_

_L.T.- Shepard, are you okay?_

_E.S.- Yeah.  I just needed to get out from under the alliance’s thumb for a bit._

_L.T.- Goddess, I thought the worst._

_E.S.- Sorry.  I should have realized you were tracking the chit._

_L.T.- And I should have expected you to slip your captors eventually._

_E.S.- Any news I need to know?_

_L.T.- I’ve updated the data on your pad.  It seems quiet and there have been no signs of activity from the Omega 4 relay.  I do have reports of two ships entering the relay, but not yet returning._

_E.S.- Keep an eye on it for me, will you?  I wouldn’t put it past The Illusive Man to try and dig up pieces of tech._

_L.T.- Of course Shepard.  You only have to ask._

_E.S.- Thanks Liara.  I owe you._

_L.T.- It’s what friends do.  I believe you have an incoming visitor Shepard.  You may want to leave._

_E.S.- Thanks!_

_~Secured Line Closed~_

Before Ella could make her escape, a body flopped down next to her.  “Nice escape Doll.  Hackett’s going batshit.”

Ella sighed and settled back down onto the bench.  Linc had apparently been off duty when Steven raised the alarm.  Her casual clothes, paired with his jeans and leather jacket gave off the impression of a couple on a date.  “Seriously?  Did he call in everyone?”

“Just David and I at the moment.  I’m sure the cavalry will be sent out sooner rather than later.”  Linc kicked at her shoes.  “He’s worried for you.  You don’t know what could be waiting out here.”

“If he was that concerned, he would’ve stopped by at least once.  I haven’t seen him outside of the board meetings since I got here.  I am bored beyond belief and the admiralty board will let me do nothing.  I can’t even use the gym at the same time as anyone else.” She pressed her hand against the amp port behind her ear.  “They even tried to take my amp away.”

Linc’s arm settled around her shoulders and tugged her her closer.  “I know it sucks and I won’t even tell you it’s for your own safety.  They’re being overly protective.  Let me talk to Steven and my Dad.  See if we can get them to relax a bit.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”  Ella knew things between Linc and his father were strained.  They rarely talked about Admiral Marshall and she didn’t want to add stress to the already tenuous relationship.

“We had lunch the other day and actually talked some things through.”

“Seriously?  This is what happens when I’m on house arrest.”

“Not arrest.”

“Call it what you want Linc, but I’m currently confined to a set of apartments, have a guard on me twenty four seven, and can’t have visitors.  Sounds like prison to me.”

“We’ll figure someone out Doll.  We always do.”  Linc hopped up from the bench and offered her a hand.  “Let’s go.  I can’t just leave you here and I have a hot date tonight.”

Ella rolled her eyes, but took his hand.  “At least you get to date.  I have no idea where Zaeed is.”

“Want me to pass on a message?”  Linc couldn’t help but notice the way she brightened.  It was the first hint of his best friend that he’d seen in weeks.  She had slowly begun withdrawing into herself and he knew she wasn’t sleeping through the night.  He was worried.

“Just . . . tell him I miss him.  And that he needs to stay safe.”

“I’ll pass it along.”

Together they walked slowly back towards Alliance headquarters.  She made him wait outside the transport depot as she stashed the bag, datapad, and credit chits.  The closer they got, the more he noticed her shoulders slumping, her feeting starting to shuffle.  When Ella refused to show him how exactly she had slipped security in the first place, he knew she planned on doing it again.  If she did that, it wouldn’t be so easy finding her the next time.  Linc was the only one who seemed to realize that if Ella wanted to disappear, they would never find her again.  Between growing up on the streets, years of infiltration missions, and having the Shadow Broker for a friend, it wouldn’t be that difficult.

Once inside, Linc used the minor amount of leverage he had to bypass security and take her directly back to her rooms.  Vega was waiting in the living room.  Ella barely made eye contact with her shadow and sent a half hearted wave in his direction before escaping into her bedroom.

“Lola’s not doing too good.”

Linc stared at the closed door.  “No she’s not.  Keep an eye on her Vega.  I wouldn’t put it past her to try it again.”

“I’ll try and keep her distracted.”

Linc thanked the younger man and made his way out of Ella’s apartment.  He made his way back to the borrowed office he was calling home for now.

_To: Admiral Steven Hackett, Admiral Anthony Marshall, Admiral David Anderson, Zaeed Massani_

_From: Major Lincoln Marshall_

_Re: Commander Shepard_

_Ella’s back in her apartment.  She stashed a bag in the transit depot three blocks north of HQ, but I doubt it’s her only one._

_If we don’t do something soon, she’ll slip past the guards again.  And the next time she disappears, she’s not coming back.  So stop treating her like the criminal you all said she wasn’t and start treating her like a human being._

_I lost my best friend once before, I’d prefer not to go through that again._

_LM_


	42. Chapter 42

Admiral Hackett and the board had refused to loosen their rein on Ella’s confinement, even after Linc pleaded her case.  Their paranoia at her safety had become stifling.  She stopped eating most meals and refused to leave her apartment, despite the Admiralty Boards demands she attend their meetings.  Even Zaeed hadn’t responded to Linc’s messages.  Feeling hurt and betrayed, it took Ella less than a week to devise her escape.

Two months into her confinement, Ella did exactly what Linc warned she would do.  An alarm was pulled inside the building, requiring everyone to evacuate.  In the shuffle and press of bodies, Ella managed to slip away from Vega and secondary guard put on her, and disappeared into the night.

Triggering the alarm had been childishly easy.  A quick burst from her biotics overloaded the sensors.  It would be labeled an accident and blamed on the practicing recruit class.  Slipping her guard and Vega had been a cakewalk.  Ella felt slightly guilty about giving James the slip.  He was a good guy, but the walls had begun closing in on her.

The locker she had taken Linc too on her first escape was a ruse.  It’s location had been busted, so she knew better than to return there.  Instead, she made her way to rapid transit terminal on the opposite side of town and grabbed a second bug out bag Liara had left for her.  A quick message to her friend assured her she was fine, but on the run this time.  Liara’s response had been quick and to the point.  A private room had been booked under a false name on the next public transport to Ireland.

* * *

 

_From: Steven Hackett_

_To: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: Get Back Here_

_I don’t care how you did it, but get your ass back to HQ.  That’s an order._

_SH_

* * *

_From: Lincoln Marshall_

_To: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: Where are You?_

_Doll, I know you’re pissed off and upset, but the batarians are out for blood.  I’m not sure how long we can contain that you’ve disappeared.  After that it’ll be open season on you._

_Just let me know you’re alive okay?_

_LM_

* * *

_From: Zaeed Massani_

_To: Ella Shepard_

_Subj: Bloody Hell_

_Get your ass back to Vancouver sweetheart.  I can’t bloody keep you safe when I’m dealing with the shit going on off world._

_ZM_

* * *

_From: ~Information Withheld~_

_To: Steven Hackett, Lincoln Marshall, Zaeed Massani_

_Subj: Commander Shepard_

_I’ve been asked to inform the overbearing men in her life that Commander Shepard is alive and well in an undisclosed location and is well trained enough that she can defend herself against outside attacks.  She would also like to remind them that since she is not a prisoner, and has been stripped of her Alliance rank, she does not fall under their jurisdiction._

_SB_

* * *

 

Ella had been pleasantly surprised that the bar she had frequented her first official shore leave was still around.  She figured no one, outside of maybe Zaeed, would even remember the place.  As it was, she barely remembered telling her asari friend about the time she had spent there.  The owners had renovated the space above the tavern into a small hotel.  Ella gladly booked a few weeks, knowing she’d have to stay on the move to avoid the Alliance.

A trip to a local barber had her long red hair shorn into a cropped pixie cut and dyed a deep brown.  It was a drastic enough change that she barely recognized herself in the mirror.  She traded in her bright tops and knee high boots for thick sweaters and well worn work boots.  Liara kept the credit chit well funded, so she didn’t need to find work.

The Shadow Broker sent her files of encrypted data on the Reapers.  Ella didn’t know where exactly her friend was, but the information seemed to be pointing in the right direction.  She spent hours tucked away in the corner of the pub or along the shoreline pouring over the information, making notes and sending them back to Liara.  They both tactfully didn’t discuss that the information was then being fed directly back to Hackett.  

For the first two weeks of her stay, Liara would forward the messages from Linc, Steven, and Zaeed.  Linc’s were full of concern and fear for her safety.  Zaeed’s were a colorful combination of threats and dire promises of what would happen when he found her.  Steven’s started official sounding demands and devolved into parental based guilt trips.  She finally let Liara message them back, but refused to respond after that, instead focusing on doing what she could to stop the Reapers using unofficial channels.  

Huddled in her corner booth at the pub, Ella idly made notes on the datapad in front of her, fingers absently toying with the necklace she wore.  A flash of blue and white armor near the door caught her eye.  She sunk farther into the shadows as a small contingency of Blue Suns troops amassed around a table in the center of the room.  Locals quickly paid their tabs and hurried from the bar. Even the bartenders and owner made themselves scarce, leaving only a few brave, or drunk, souls in the room with the mercenary gang.  Ella contemplated her own escape when Vido stepped into the room.

She couldn’t leave.  If anyone would see past her transformation it was him.  Ella didn’t believe for a second that the Blue Suns leader wasn’t aware of her escape from Vancouver.  Finding her here would most likely prove disastrous.  She also didn’t want to destroy the pub.

Idly, she scooted into the corner of the booth, pulling her legs up onto the bench.  She propped the datapad up on her knees, further obscuring her face from the rest of the room.  The bulky burgundy sweater and dark pants made her look more like a young man, instead of a woman.  Ella took a moment to be thankful the crew around him this time were all humans.  She didn’t need the complications of batarians on top of the Blue Suns leader.  

Listening in on their conversations, she quickly realized Vido had moved his base of operations to a town nearby.  Publically, he was letting another man run the show, but it was still Santiago who was really in charge.  He was overly confident that the local authorities and Alliance had no clue to his whereabouts.  

Her datapad was soon full of notes about upcoming jobs and shakedown runs.  There were enough missions to keep her busy for months.  Her mind raced to plot out which jobs could be sabotaged with a precision one person team.  Ella had promised the mercenary boss he would be the king of ruined empire and he had provided a very nice way for her to accomplish it.

Ella spent the better part of the evening waiting the crew out.  Each passing hour saw the members getting drunker and rowdier.  Eventually, two of the mercenaries started to throw punches.  The bar devolved into a chaotic mess and Ella fled to the staircase behind the bar.  She swiped the security card and made it to her rooms with none of the Suns troops recognizing her.  

From her third floor apartment, Ella was able to identify the skycar that the Suns were using.  It was the only one with an armored guard standing beside it and it was conveniently parked below her window.  She dug through a box of high tech gadgets that had arrived a few days prior.  Liara had requested she field test some of the more recent inventions her techs had devised. Using her biotics, she pushed over a few garbage cans in the alleyway behind the bar and watched as the guard jumped.  Ella dropped the tracking device onto the roof of the vehicle, confident the Shadow Broker’s device would be untraceable.  

Ella waited until the inebriated crew of mercenaries stumbled from the bar at close.  Vido himself got into the vehicle she had marked, while the others crowded into a larger transport behind him.  As they pulled away, she pulled up the trackers information.  

  
It was time to hunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella's outfit: http://missmeggowrites.tumblr.com/post/85726541729/ella-in-ireland  
> Ella's face reference and haircut (sort of NSFW): http://missmeggowrites.tumblr.com/post/85830037824/ella-chops-off-her-hair-and-goes-brunette


	43. Chapter 43

_ E.S.- How difficult would it be to get me a set of Blue Suns armor? _

_ L.T.- Ella, are you sure about this? _

_ E.S.- Liara, I’ve spent the past three months causing small problems throughout their organization.  They’re getting suspicious.  Now is the time for me to take it down completely.   _

_ L.T.- You are aware that Admiral Hackett and Mr. Massani will undoubtedly realize you were involved if something happens. _

_ E.S.- Which is why I plan to be very far away once it’s done. _

_ L.T.- You’ll do this with or without my help, won’t you? _

_ E.S.- Pretty much. _

_ L.T.- The armor will be there tomorrow.  I’d remind you to be safe, but I doubt you’ll listen.   _

Two days later Ella was her confidence in taking the base alone.  The infiltration part had gone splendidly.  The security guards were mediocre at best and the basement had been left wide open.  Planting her explosives without raising an alarm had gone almost too easily.  She was halfway through her exit plan when all hell broke loose.

The small group of troopers she had latched onto after exiting the basement were apparently a new recruit squad.  The two batarians in charge decided on a last minute change of plans, herding the small group to the outdoor training area.  When they demanded all the recruits remove their helmets, Ella prayed her position at the back of the group, along with the drastic changes in her appearance, would keep them from recognizing her.

It didn’t work.  The drill sergeant’s four eyed gaze settled on her, she watched his eyes widen.  He barely yelled “That’s Shepard,” before she sent the entire group flying with her biotics.  Her VI sounded a countdown in her ear and Ella began weaving and dodging her way across the open field towards the safety of the woods behind the compound.

A few stray bullets pinged against her shields, but not enough to cause permanent damage.  She made it almost to the tree line when a shuttle settled in front of her.  Vido jumped down from the hovering craft, weapon already drawn.  

“Well, well.  I heard you went AWOL from the Alliance.  Should have figured it was you messing with my jobs.”  He glanced around.  “Where’s your ugly partner in crime?  He’s never far from you anymore is he?”

Ella shrugged, aware of just how much time she didn’t have to verbally spar with Vido.

“That’s all I get, hmmm Little One?”  He walked forward, grabbing her by the collar of her armor.  “We’re going back to my little hideaway and you’re going to tell me exactly what you were doing here.”

“Do you really think that’s gonna happen Vido?  You’ve been trying to get me since I was eighteen.  Hasn’t worked yet.”

His gun raised, pressed against her temple.  “I’ll persuade you.”

A vicious grin split across Ella’s face as the voice in her ear began the last moments of the countdown.  “Nice try Vido.  Better luck next time.”

Her biotic barrier flew up just as the building behind them exploded.  The power of the blast sent her flying, along with Vido and his shuttle.  Even with her added protection, Ella felt the jarring impact when her back collided with a tree.  

With a groan, she pushed herself up from the ground and stumbled towards the motorcycle she had stashed in the woods earlier that week.  Shedding her armor, Ella made her way towards the neighboring town and the hotel room she had called home for the past three weeks.  Exhausted, she collapsed onto the bed, letting sleep drift over her.

 

* * *

_ Z.M.- Someone blew up a bloody Blue Suns base in Ireland.   _

_ S.H.- I’m aware.  I already have a small group of troops headed that way.  I’ll be there in less than 24 hours. _

_ Z.M.- Leave your goddamn troops in Vancouver.  I’ll go get her. _

_ S.H.- Let me handle this Massani. _

_ Z.M.- Fuck that.  You’re the one who locked in her in a goddamn tower and then never managed to visit her.  Knowing Ella she’s still holding a grudge. _

_ S.H.- You really think she’ll take seeing you much better? _

_ Z.M.- Can’t hurt to try. _

_ S.H.- You have two days Massani, then I’m coming for her. _

 

* * *

For the first time since leaving The Normandy, Ella not only slept through the night, but a full eighteen hours.  It was only the angry growls of her stomach that finally woke her.  She half heartedly shoved dirty clothes into a leather knapsack before pulling on a black and grey cable knit sweater and the softest jeans she owned.  Room emptied, she settled her bill and made her way towards the nearest off world transit depot.

A familiar flash of yellow and black caught her attention.  Zaeed stood across the street, very obviously looking for something.  Ella hurried down the street, missing his double take at her retreating figure.  Hoping to lose him, she ducked into a restaurant, prepared to sit him out.

Two large burgers and countless plates of fries later, Ella figured it was safe to venture back out onto the street.  Just to be safe, she decided to go out the employee exit and stick to the alleys.  She went to signal for her check when an armorless, cranky, bounty hunter slid into the booth across from her.  

“Did you really think a bloody haircut would change you that much sweetheart?”

She settled back into her booth with an eye roll.  “Good to see you too Massani.”

“Good to bloody see me?  I’ve spent the past three goddamn months trying to find you.  And then you go and blow up a fucking Blue Suns base?  Alone?”

“No idea what you’re talking about.  I’m just a tourist.  One who’s late for a transport.”

Lightening fast, Zaeed’s hand wrapped around her wrist.  “You’re not bloody going anywhere.”

“Why?  Am I your next bounty?  The Alliance get tired of waiting for me to come crawling back to them?”

“I promised your bloody father I would bring you home.”

Ella’s face went deadly still.  “I don’t have a father.”

Not for the first time, Zaeed was thankful that Steven let him try and find her first.  Those words would have killed his friend.  “You don’t mean that sweetheart.  He was trying to protect you.”

“Don’t I?”  Her hand clenched under his.  "I'm the one who was locked away and forgotten.  I woke up each night alone, in a strange place that I couldn't leave.  The Admiral didn't visit once.  The only family I knew abandoned me under the pretenses of protecting me.”  She turned angry eyes on him.  “And did you fight for me?  Did you push to see me or contact me?”  She cut him off before he could formulate an answer.  “Don’t forget my favorite shadowy friend before you try and lie to me.”

Ella yanked her hand from his.  “I’m done.  With everything.  I trusted three things in my life and they’ve all turned their back on me or made me a scapegoat.  I’m better off on my own.”

Zaeed pinned her with his stare.  “I’m not letting you bloody walk away from us.”

“What are you going to do?  Slap the biotic cuffs on me and haul me back to Vancouver?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

“You can try,” she warned, her voice deceptively calm.  Angry eyes clashed and Ella let her biotics ripple just slightly.  For the first time in twelve years, Zaeed saw the ruthless glint of a street wise predator.  The Alliance had polished her rough edges into a razor sharp weapon and, for the first time, she was willing to turn that weapon on him.

With a frustrated sigh, Zaeed held his hands up in surrender.  He watched as Ella stood and pulled the leather sack across her chest.  He leaned forward slightly, to place a bug on the bottom of the bag, only to feel the familiar tickles of a stasis field.

“You’re nowhere near as subtle as you think you are Massani.”  She peeled the device off her bags, tossing it onto the table.  “Don’t try and follow me.  I won’t be so nice the next time.”

“I’m not giving up on us Ella.”  

She barely heard his words over the blood rushing through her veins.  “But I am.”  With her parting words, she threw the now compromised credit chit and ID’s onto the table, and walked out the door.


	44. Chapter 44

She was on Mars when the Reapers hit.  It was a perfect place for Ella to hide.  Close enough to Alliance outposts that no one would consider it a safe haven, and far enough away that the colonists didn’t take a second look at a quiet, withdrawn newcomer.  Liara left her alone for the most part, unsure how to help her friend.  

Ella had pulled away from anything related to her old life.  She refused to discuss her past with the good natured residents of the small city.  The colonists chalked it up to another wounded warrior who ran out of credits.  Their little settlement was no stranger to the hollowed eyed gazes of former soldiers,  and if she heard the whispered rumors that the strange newcomer looked an awful lot like Commander Shepard, she never addressed them.   

The small communal restaurant slash bar had become the base of her operations.  She rented a small room on the second floor.  Ella was in the process of transferring files back to Liara when the comms went down.  It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence and she didn’t think twice about it until a vid screen that usually showed the latest biotiball games was suddenly filled with the horrors unfolding on Earth that she moved.  

Ella grabbed Garrett Caldwell, the ex Alliance pilot and current bartender, and shoved a datapad and small comms device into his hands.  “You know that ship I’ve had in dry dock for the past month?  Get everyone you can aboard it and go to the Citadel.   Now.”

“I don’t have clearance.  They won’t let me land.”

“That datapad has everything you need to get clearance.  Now get moving.”

Recognition darted across his face.  “The rumors are true.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” she called over her shoulder.  “Get moving soldier.”

“I’m not a soldier anymore.”

Ella paused in the doorframe.  “I have a feeling we’re all going to be soldiers again, whether we like it or not.”

Once inside her sparse rented room, Ella dug out the armor Liara had sent over weeks ago.  She hadn’t touched it, hadn’t wanted to.  She rolled her eyes at the N7 stripes running down the arm.  Those could be removed once the colonists, Liara, and the data they had been decrypting were safely on the Citadel.  Ella switched out the weak civilian amp she had taken to wearing for her state of the art one Jack had custom made for her.

Out the window, she could see Garrett helping evacuate the school with the help of a handful of retired marines.  Satisfied they were going to save as many colonists as they could, Ella began the trek towards the outskirts of the colony.  She had a small modified mako sitting in an empty prefab, courtesy of the Shadow Broker.  As she reached the edge of town, a shuttle emblazoned with the Cerberus logo flew overhead, dropping troops as they went.  Swearing, she flipped on the comms.

“Garrett?”

“Shepard?”

Ella let out an exasperated breath.  “Fine, yes, I’m Commander Shepard.  Now listen, Cerberus just landed.  You need to get that ship off the ground while I distract them.”

“Cerberus?  What in the hell are they doing here?”

“If I had to take a guess?  They’re after something at the archives.  Or me.”

The comms went silent a moment.  “You’ll meet us there right?  At the Citadel?”

“I’ll do my best.  Now get that ship out of here.”

He couldn’t hide the teasing note in his voice as he replied, “Yes ma’am.  And Hannah. . .or Ella?  Stay safe.”

Ella softened for just a moment.  “Ella is fine.  And thank you.”

All it took to distract the Cerberus troops was a few frag grenades and an up close look at her face.  The shouts of “Shepard’s here!” reverberated through the small colony as their attention switched from the dry docks to her location.  She played cat and mouse with them until the dull roar of engines signaled the ship’s departure.  Once they cleared the colony, Ella deployed a tactic she hadn’t used since Elysium.

Using her biotics she lifted canisters of fuel and explosives, only to use her shotgun to tear them apart, the shrapnel and explosions decimating the troops.  As the waves of oncoming soldiers slowed, she took to biotically charging the small groups.  Months of pent up tension and frustration boiled to the surface.  Destroying the Blue Suns base hadn’t exactly been a challenge.  She was only slightly thrown by the savage amount of satisfaction she took in single handedly clearing the colony of Cerberus flunkies.  

Ella paused a moment in a futile attempt to rein in her temper.  Her biotics flared slightly as she slowly regained a tenuous hold over them.  Once she felt somewhat under control, Ella made her way to the now abandoned Cerberus shuttle.  The onboard VI adjusted the settings and she set it to autopilot.  Raiding the small armory in the shuttle, she restocked her heat sinks and applied medigel to the small cuts and abrasions she earned during the fight.  Trying to raise Liara on the comms was a failure, so Ella was prepared for the worst.

Ella set the vehicle down near the rear of the archives.  She hadn’t seen any sentries, but Cerberus was known for their underhanded ways.  Avoiding doors that might be trapped, she pulled off the cover to a ventilation shaft and wiggled her way into the main room.  Once inside, she disposed of the guards easily.  They were spread out and sloppy, making her job simple, but before she could lock down the facility, the main elevator kicked on.

Gun ready and grenades within reach, Ella positioned herself near the entrance.  As the doors opened, she ducked out from behind her cover, only to overheard familiar voices arguing.  Weapon still poised to shoot, she stepped in front of the open door, surprising the three Alliance operatives.  Linc was the first to recover.  The look of utter relief on his face was quickly masked by a smug grin.  "Love the hair doll."

Ella rolled her eyes, but tugged at the cropped strands.  "Missed you too."

"Enjoy your vacation?"

She shrugged.  "Visited Ireland.  Blew up a mercenary base."

"So, just a normal few months right?"

“That’s it?”  Ashley’s disbelieving tone broke into their conversation.  “She left Vancouver, went AWOL, and refused to help us and all you got is ‘love the hair?  For all we know she’s working with Cerberus.’”

The trio all took a step back when Ella’s face twisted in barely controlled fury.  It was an unexpected sight that one sane person really wanted to face.  “I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself Lieutenant Commander.”

Before Ashely could respond, Liara tumbled out of the vents, shooting at oncoming troops.  After the asari brief them on the situation, Ella sent Vega back to the shuttle.  They would need to be ready to go at a moments notice.  He was unhappy, but eventually conceded.

Ella, Ashley, Linc, and Liara made their way across the archives.  She pretended to not notice the concerned looks the asari shared with Linc.  Once they reached the tram, and Ashley once again questioned her loyalties, Ella let the fine grip of her temper go.  After a rather tense verbal beat down, she charged into the oncoming masses without hesitation, taking chances her old drill instructors would say were reckless.  By the time the reached Dr. Core, and realized she was an AI, Ella was flying high on adrenaline.  At least that’s the excuse she gave herself for nearly destroying the robot body after it injured Ashley.

They settled into The Normandy.  Ella left Linc to deal with the Alliance and Steven.  It didn’t matter that the stripe on her uniform marked her an N7.  She was done with him and the Alliance.  Shedding the armor, Ella settled into the bed, ignoring the empty feel it had.  She changed into a pair of Alliance fatigues, the only clothing she could find onboard.  She debated ripping the insignia off the sleeves.  Instead, she toyed with the necklace she wore in lieu of dog tags and contemplated her next step.  Comms were still sketchy at best, but she had to try.

_ E.S.- Garrett? _

_ E.S.- I’m really hoping you’re not answering because the comms are still spotty. _

_ E.S.- Let me know the ship got there.  Please? _

_ G.C.- Yeah.  Yeah we’re good.  The ship landed an hour ago.  A Commander Bailey met us.  We’ve been given a temporary place to stay on the docks. _

_ E.S.- Good. _

_ G.C.- Are you. . .are you going to meet us?  Our group I mean.  Ellie’s missing you something fierce. _

_ E.S.- There’s a few things I need to take care of, but I’ll find you after we land. _

_ G.C.- How’d you know they were coming for the colony? _

_ E.S.- I didn’t. _

_ G.C.- But, what about the ship? _

_ E.S.- It was insurance.  I’ve learned that lesson the hard way.  You always need a backup escape plan or two.  _

_ G.C.- Well, that backup plan saved my little girl and I, along with most of the colony.  We owe you. _

_ E.S.- You don’t owe me anything.  I should probably grab a few hours of sleep before we land on the Citadel.  I’ll message you when I can okay? _

_ G.C.- Stay safe out there Shepard. _

_ E.S.- Same to you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Face Reference for Garrett Caldwell- http://missmeggowrites.tumblr.com/post/85823367189


	45. Chapter 45

Ella woke from the dream, gasping for breath and clawing at her chest.  A soft, familiar voice sounded from the edge of the bed.  “You’re safe Doll.  You’re on the Normandy and we’re headed towards the Citadel.  Breathe.”  Once she scooted towards the edge of the bed, he gently pressed her head down.  “Breathe.  In and out.  Just like that.”  The familiar cadence let her think, for just a moment, she was back on Arcturus and things were simple.

Linc toyed with the short brown strands on her head until her breathing settled.  “I’m okay.  I’m okay now.”  She let out a deep breath.  “How far away from the Citadel are we?”

“Joker said our ETA is fifteen minutes.  Huerta’s on standby to take care of Ashley.”  He hesitated a moment before continuing.  “Steven asked to speak to you.”

Her shoulders stiffened slightly.  “I have nothing to say to him.”

Linc held his hands up in surrender.  “I’m just the messenger Doll, but I can tell you the past four months haven’t been easy for him.  Or me.”

“I can’t deal with him right now Linc, but I am sorry I hurt you.”

“We need you Ella.  There’s no one in this universe that knows more about the Reapers.  You don’t want to be part of the Alliance?  Fine.  But you’re still a Spectre.”  His hands settled gently on her shoulders.  “If there there was a different way, I’d tell you to take it, but nowhere is going to be safe soon.”

Ella let him briefly pull her into a hug.  “I know,” she whispered against his uniform before pulling away.  “I’ll do what I can, but for now we need to get Ashley to Huerta.”

They had barely wheeled Ashley onto the elevator when Bailey told her the council requested her presence.  She and Liara made their way to Udina’s office, data about the Crucible in hand.  When they arrived, the council was in the middle of a heated argument with Admiral Hackett over vid-comm.  Ella cleared her throat, gaining the attention of the room.  

She ignored the Alliance Admiral, instead focused on the four councillors in front of her.  No matter how much she and Liara cajoled and threatened, the asari and salarians refused to send aide.  The only glimmer of hope she had was the turian.  Frustrated, Ella turned to leave the meeting, only to hear the Admiral request she stay.  Liara gave her a subtle nod and pushed her back to the hologram.

“Admiral?”

“Ella. . .”  His voice trailed off.

She fidgeted slightly, staring at a spot over his shoulder.  “Did you need something sir?”

“Can we talk?”

“I believe Dr. T’Soni forwarded all pertinent data to you already.”

“Damnit kid, it’s been four months.  Stop giving me the cold shoulder.”

“Try  six  months Steven.”  Ella’s shoulders stiffened, the brief burst of emotion fleeing.  “With all due respect  sir , I have a meeting with the turian council member.  If we have nothing further to discuss, I should be meeting him.”

Even with the spotty reception, she could see his shoulders sag.  “That’s all Commander.  Hackett out.”

* * *

_ K.C.- Ella came by the hospital to check on Ashley Williams.  She stopped to speak to Dr. Michel and when I approached her, she made her excuses and left immediately. _

_ S.H.- She refused to speak to me as well.   _

_ K.C.- The Normandy needs a doctor. _

_ S.H.- I’m aware of the fact, but I can’t force her into it.   _

_ K.C.- My understanding is they’re leaving for Palaven in a few hours.  I’m not sure she can find someone that quickly. _

_ S.H.- I’ll see what I can do, but for now, stay put.  If we push her too much, she’ll bolt for good. _

 

* * *

The docks were already beginning to fill with terrified refugees.  Batarians, turians, asari, and humans huddled in small groups.  Dazed looking individuals were searching through lists of survivors, trying to find loved ones.  Ella wove her way around groups, oblivious to the whispers that seemed to follow her.  She made it halfway across the docks before a small bundle of energy wrapped around her legs.

“Miss Hannah!  You made it!”  

Ella swung the the little girl up into her arms with a smile.  “I told your Daddy I would.”

“Daddy let me fly the ship!”

“Did he now?”  The little girl nodded enthusiastically, a riot of tight curls bouncing around her head. 

“To be fair,” a deeper voice interjected, “the VI was technically flying at that point.  But Ellie certainly helped.”  Garrett’s smile seemed to fill his face.  “Glad to see you made it Ella.”

“Daddy, this is Miss Hannah, not Ella.”

Ella shifted the little girl higher onto her hip, adjusting her hold.  It had become second nature to carry the little girl around.  “No Miss Ellie.  Ella is my real name.  I was playing pretend for a bit, but your Daddy figured out my real name.”

Ellie frowned.  “So do I call you Miss Hannah or Miss Ella?”

“Whichever you want sweetie.”  

Ella couldn’t help but return the girl’s smile.  “I like Miss Ella.  It sounds like Ellie.”  She pointed to a half healed cut that ran across Ella’s cheek.  “What happened?”

“I hurt myself.”

The little girl turned to her father.  “Daddy, kiss it better!”  The two adults froze as the little girl began to pout.  “You’re supposed to kiss owies better and Miss Ella’s daddy isn’t here.  Kiss it better.”

Seeing her try and hide a flinch at the mention of a father, Garrett had leaned in, a small smile playing across his face.  “The boss gave me an order,” he murmured quietly, pressing a soft kiss to the bruised skin of her cheek.  

 

* * *

Zaeed’s omnitool didn’t stop pinging.  Linc and Steven had been messaging him nearly nonstop since The Normandy arrived on the Citadel.  Hungover and smelling of stale sweat, he stumbled through a rapidfire shower.  A hasty cup of coffee and a few painkillers later, he was out the door, headed towards the Presidium.

By the time he arrived, all that remained was a shell shocked Liara and Linc speaking in hushed tones.  Neither could believe she had actually refused to speak to Steven.  They had hoped that when made to speak, somewhat, face to face with her father, their friend would relent.  Zaeed could have told them they were mistaken.  Her quiet announcement she was done with him and their relationship still haunted him.  

He missed her at Huerta by meer minutes.  The hurt on Karin’s face reinforced the fact that Ella was still unhappy with the people she once considered family.  It didn’t bode well for his chances of getting her to talk to him.  In a last ditch attempt, he tried tracking her through the docks.  What he saw stopped him with shock.  

Ella stood at the edge of a group of survivors, a young girl in her arms.  The little girl was oddly content, arms clasped loosely around Ella’s neck.  It was obvious to anyone around that this wasn’t their first meeting.  A man, most likely the little girl’s father, stood near them.  He took a moment to size up the other man.  The other man stood at about his height, but had a much broader build.  His physique reminded him of the bouncers that stood outside of most human run clubs.  Ella’s fair skin contrasted beautifully against the darker hue of the other two. 

Resentment and a small thread of jealousy churned through his stomach.  The casual intimacy in front of him left Zaeed feeling as if he had been sucker punched.  The three traded easy smiles and the little girl even reached out to run a finger over Ella’s cheek.  As the man leaned towards Ella, Zaeed found himself propelled towards the small group, anger barely in check. 

Her cheeks had flushed under the other man’s kiss, a flustered smile making it’s way across her face.   Zaeed wanted to do nothing more than throw her over his shoulder and lock her away in their apartment until she talked to him.  Her biotics, the little girl she held, and the fact that the kiss seemed to have landed on her cheek, were the only things stopping him.  As he neared the group, the little girl pecked her own kiss against her cheek.  

“Is your owie all better Miss Ella?”  

“It is sweetie.  Thank you for worrying.”

Zaeed stopped in front of the small group. “Hello sweet Ella.”

He hated how she stilled, face going blank.  “Zaeed.”

“Going to introduce me to you friends sweetheart?” Zaeed scowled at the other man, who blinked in confusion before returning the scowl.

“Zaeed Massani, Garrett Caldwell.  Garrett this is Zaeed.  And this little one is Danielle Caldwell.”  Her voice softened as she spoke to the girl.

“Pleasure,” he said between gritted teeth.  “I need to bloo- to talk to you.”

Garrett’s eyes narrowed just slightly at Ella’s curt nod.  With an exasperated sigh aimed at the men, Ella brushed a soft kiss against Ellie’s curls.  “I need to go for a bit Ellie.”

“You’re comin’ back right?  You’re gonna stay with us?”

“I’ll come and visit,” she promised, “but right now I have to go stop some bad guys.”

“Like Daddy used to do?”

“Just like that.”

The little girl nodded once before reaching towards her father.  Garrett scooped her into his large embrace.  Zaeed couldn’t help but notice the gentle hand he ran down Ella’s arm before letting go.  

“Keep everyone safe here, will you?  The guys listen to you.”

“I will.  See you soon Ella.”

With a tired farewell smile, she spun on her heels and began walking towards the docks elevator.  Zaeed hurried to keep up with her.  He forgot how fast she could move through a crowd when she wanted to.  The elevator was empty when they stepped into it.  Ella wiped a hand across her eyes, one of the few outward signs of the stress he knew she was under.

“What do you want Zaeed?”

“I told you, to bloody talk.  Come home.”

“I leave for Palavan in less than two hours.  I don’t have time to visit your apartment.”

“You mean our goddamn home.”

“No, I meant your apartment.”

Irritated, Zaeed crowded her into the corner of the elevator.  He considered it a minor victory that her biotics only flashed instead of slamming him against the wall.  “I don’t goddamn care what you said in Ireland sweet Ella.  I haven’t given up on us, even if you have.  I tried to live for two horrific years without you, I’m not doing it again.”  

As the doors opened to the docking bay, he stepped away.  “I won’t bloody force you to come back, but I’m still going to be here for you sweetheart.  I love you and I’m pretty damn sure you still love me.”  

Without waiting for her answer, Zaeed stalked out of the elevator, leaving Ella to her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ellie's face reference: http://missmeggowrites.tumblr.com/post/85824415829/perfectionbelle-yahoo-com


	46. Chapter 46

_ To: Admiral Steven Hackett, Major Lincoln Marshall, Admiral David Anderson, Zaeed Massani _

_ From: Dr. L T’Soni _

_ Subj: The Commander _

_ I’m concerned for Shepard.  I’ve had EDI attach a video of Ella’s fight on Menae.  She’s becoming more reckless with each battle, this last one culminating in her going head to head with a brute.  I’ve never seen a platoon of turians be shocked, but she managed it.  She’s refused medical treatment and EDI’s records show she barely sleeps two hours at time.  During a sparring match with Mr. Vega, they both walked away with bloody noses.  I believe Ella may have cracked a rib, but her upgrades healed them before I could be sure.   _

_ If it weren’t for her sound tactical decisions for the team and others outside of herself, I would think Ella treats each of these fights as a suicide mission.  Garrus has managed to coax her to eat something other than ration bars, and I believe I’ve convinced her to allow Dr. Chakwas to rejoin The Normandy when we return to The Citadel. I would suggest the addition of a calming presence on the ship.   _

_ L.T. _

 

* * *

After getting EDI’s new body settled into the cockpit with Joker, Ella requested they return to the Citadel.  The Normandy would need supplies for their dextro visitors and she wanted to check on Ashley and Thane.  She had also, very reluctantly, agreed to allow Karin back onto the ship.  Ellie had sent her a message, asking Ella to visit them on the docks again.

Her visit with Ashley went surprisingly well, but left Ella emotionally raw.  Lost in her thoughts, she found herself staring out the windows of Huerta, not able to focus on anything.  A familiar hand landed on her shoulder.  “Siha?”

Ella turned and nearly threw herself into Thane’s arms.  He gently guided her to a quiet corner of the hospital silently.  

“You are not well Siha.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“You will not be.  I see the signs on your face.  You have fallen into battle sleep.”

“If you haven’t noticed, we’re facing quite the battle.”

“But you are not alone.  I see loneliness and anger.  Why?”

“It’s a long story Thane and I don’t have that much time.”  She leaned forward, resting her head against his chest.  “Join us on the Normandy?”

“I would be a liability, not an asset.  There are others you can lean on.”

“No I can’t.  They forgot me.”

“Did they forget you truly?  Or did they fear for you?”

Ella shook her head.  “Doesn’t really matter either way.”

“It does, but your anger makes it difficult to tell the difference.”  He tipped her head to look at him.  “I will stay here.  Your friend in the hospital may be a target, along with the child and father.”

She smiled.  “I should’ve known you’d be watching over people.”

“It is what we do siha.  I hope that soon, you will remember that.”

Ella replayed Thane’s words while waiting for her food at the small cafe on the Presidium.  She needed a few hours of respite from the onslaught of requests for help.  The latest one was Grissom Academy.  She was trying to figure out how to rescue the students and ignore Zaeed’s shadowy presence when a pair of military fatigues joined her at the table, her food in hand.

She tensed before realizing it wasn’t Hackett.  “Can I help you sir?”  

The older man sized her up before smiling.  Ella did a double take.  It was a smile she had seen countless times on a much younger face.  “I’m here in an unofficial capacity, so you can drop the sir.”

“Well then, Mr. Marshall, can I help you?”

“Lincoln said you were perceptive.”

She waved her fork slightly before digging into her food.  “It’s the smile.”  Ella ate half her plate before realizing he hadn’t spoken again.  “Are you planning on just watching me eat, or did you actually need something?”

“Steven Hackett is a brilliantly driven and focused son of a bitch.”

Ella put her fork down, pushing the food away.  “I’m not discussing the Admiral.”

“Good.  I just want you to listen.”  Anthony Marshall waited until Ella looked back at him.  “I’ve known Hackett since we were eighteen.  The man is brilliant, but he can be single mindedly driven.  The past six months he’s been focused on only one thing and that’s you.”

She bit back an angry laugh.  “I’ll have to respectfully disagree with that.”

“I figured you would.”  He stood, a look of regret crossing his face.  “I went many years not speaking to my son as you’re aware.  There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to have that time back.  Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

No longer hungry, Ella picked at the food on her plate until her omnitool beeped an incoming text chat.

_ G.C.- I was taking a walk with Ellie when we saw The Normandy had docked.  Are you going to get a chance to visit? _

_ E.S.- Probably not.  This was a quick refill stop.  I’m hoping to be back within a week or so. _

_ C.G.- Ella? _

_ E.S.- Yeah? _

_ C.G.- The man on the docks.  I’ve seen him a few times since.  He. . .the two of you have a past don’t you? _

_ E.S.- Yes. It’s. . .very complicated. _

_ C.G.- I figured as much.  Look, if you ever need to talk about it, or anything, I’m here okay?  I can have someone watch Ellie and we could grab a bite to eat. _

_ E.S.- I appreciate it Garrett.  I may take you up on it. _

_ C.G.- I need to go.  Ellie’s managed to get herself into trouble.  Again. _

_ E.S.- Give her a hug from me, will you? _

_ C.G.- I will.   _

Ella shut down the chat when a bowl was placed in front of her.  “No charge,” the waitress said with a smile before wandering off.  She looked down at the tart smelling bowl of lemon gelato.  A quick scan of the Presidium and she found him standing in the shadows of a storefront.  With a sad smile, he melted into the crowds.  Minutes later, Ella found herself still staring at the half melted dessert.  Confusion, anger, and hurt swirled into a ball in her stomach.  Emotionally exhausted, she made her way back to the safety of her cabin.

She found Linc waiting in her cabin on The Normandy when she returned.  He stared into the empty fishtank, only glancing at her when she stepped all the way in.

“If you’re here to offer some tidbit into my psyche, you can shove it.  I’ve heard enough today.”

“Too bad.  I saw video of your fight on Menae.  It was. . .impressive.  And terrifying.”

“I needed to stop the brute before it destroyed the wall.  My way seemed easiest.”

“By charging the thing, jumping on its back, and stabbing it?”

“It worked didn’t it?”

“This isn’t like you doll.  You’ve pushed limits before, but these risks you’re taking now are just plain stupid and deadly.”  He tugged her down onto the couch, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.  “You can barely control your biotics and I know you’re sleeping even less than usual.  Talk to me Ella.”

She relaxed against him for just a moment, sagging under the weight.  “I’m alone Linc.  After Arahot, when I  needed  help, they just left me.  So I left and that’s when they decided I was worth looking for.  And not because they wanted to, but because I was a liability.”  Ella sighed and pushed his arm from her shoulders.  “It’s better this way.  I’ll help defeat the Reapers and go back to a life alone.  At least no one can hurt me then.”

Linc’s heart broke as she pushed off the couch.  “What about Garrett and Ellie?  The rest of those colonists?  You’ll leave them too?”

Her smile was sad, worn down.  “They didn’t know Ella.  They knew Hannah, an Alliance veteran with a chip on her shoulder.  That’ll get old and they’ll leave.  That’s the part of me people like Linc.  The pretty, polished mask.”

“That’s a load of bullshit.”

“It might be, but at least it’s honest.”  She stood and made her way to the terminal.  “Before you ask, you’re welcome to stay on board, but I don’t need a babysitter.  It’s my ship, my rules.  If you don’t like it, you can get off before we leave.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily.”  

Distracted by the newest reports popping up, she sent him a hurried nod of approval.  “Oh, do me a favor then?  Our shuttle pilot is also working as our requisitions officer.  Maybe you can share some of contacts you’ve made?”

Sighing dramatically, Linc pressed a kiss against the crown of her head.  “The things I do for you doll.  You’ll owe me,” he warned.”

“Yeah, yeah.”  Linc missed the hint of a sly smile playing across her face.  “Or you’ll owe me,” she murmured softly as he made his way towards the elevator.


	47. Chapter 47

_ L.M.- Were you aware of how attractive your shuttle pilot was? _

_ E.S.- Yes.  He’s also grieving, so don’t push it. _

_ L.M.- I’m not.  We had a long talk about his husband yesterday.   _

_ E.S.- You dealt with emotions?  That’s. . .new. _

_ L.M.- Don’t read into it Doll. _

_ E.S.- I wouldn’t if I didn’t already know you’ve managed to cajole him into leaving the ship for a bit.  I appreciate it.   _

_ L.M.- Don’t mention it.  Seriously.  Don’t. _

Ella shut off the messaging program just as she entered the elevator.  In the two weeks since she’d last been on The Citadel, she’d dealt with a trio of cranky dignitaries, fought her way through Grissom Academy to save the students, and Jack, and helped rescue the remaining female krogran from Sur’Kesh.  All she wanted was a few hours where no one needed “just one favor”.  When Garrett had messaged her, offering to take her to dinner, Ella jumped at the chance.

Fingers ran through her shortened locks, now back to a brilliant red.  Jack had taken one look at her and spent the entire trip back to the Citadel harping on her to dye it back to the original color.  Tired of the nagging, she finally agreed and immediately regretted it.  Linc took it as a sign she was letting go of the anger that he said plagued her; Ella disagreed.  

To prove her point, she changed out of fatigues right before docking on the station.  It was her way of reminding them she hadn’t agreed to rejoin the Alliance.  The light blue knit sweater was already well worn, a pair of jeans and simple low slung boots finished off the outfit.  She had been surprised, yet delighted, to find out that Garrett had saved some of her things from the small apartment she had rented from him.  

The elevator doors hissed, opening to reveal Garrett waiting patiently on the other side.  His welcome, familiar grin eased some of the knots in her stomach.  “Like the hair,” he commented.  “Much better than the brown.”

Unsure of how to answer, Ella deftly changed the subject.  Conversation flowed easily as they made their way towards a small restaurant that had popped up outside of the wards.  It was small, secluded, and she should have expected Zaeed to be there.  

She very deliberately ignored the scowling mercenary at the bar, instead focusing on Garrett.  He had been working with C-Sec to set up a patrol around the docks.  A few of their friends from the Mars colony had begun to volunteer their services.  A young asari had opened something of a school, much to Danielle’s chagrin.  Ella promised to visit soon and handed over the small trinkets she had purchased for his daughter and a few of the other children.  

As their empty plates were cleared, Garrett reached across the table to rest his hand gently over her wrist.  “You want to talk about it?”  His question was quiet, without judgement.

“Talk about what?”  Ella watched from the corner of her eye as Zaeed tossed a chit onto the table and stalked out his scowl even more pronounced.

“Look, I might not have known you long, but this. . .unhappiness that you carry with you isn’t getting any better.  At first I chalked it up to your service, but this is something else.”

Ella fidgeted, her hands tangling in the chain around her neck.  She ran her fingers back and forth over the stones before letting out a deep sigh.  “It’s incredibly complicated Garrett.  And I can’t tell you everything.”

“So tell me what you can or want to.”

They sat there in silence for a few minutes while Ella struggled to decide what to do.  Garrett was ex military, and she assumed, special forces.  In the few months they had known each other, he had been nothing but welcoming and understanding.  Sharing pieces of her history would be easy, but sharing brought back those strings she was so determined to let go of.  Even as she prepared to decline his offer, Garrett’s omnitool buzzed a familiar chime.  Ellie needed something.  

Garrett looked over at her with an apology already forming in his eyes.  “Ellie has reminded me, again, that I promised to take her to the arcade by Tiberus Towers.  I’m sure she would love it if you joined us.”  

“I appreciate it, but I should be going myself.  I need to visit a few more people before we leave for Tuchanka.”

“Ellie’s going to be disappointed you couldn’t come with, but she’ll understand.”

“Give her a hug from me.  Tell her I’ll be around longer next time.”   
Garrett pulled her in for a brief, friendly hug.  “Good.  You need to rest.”   
“Easier said than done.”

“Hey.”  He pulled his shoulders down so they could meet eye to eye.  “I was serious when I said you could talk to me.  Whenever you need.”

“Thanks Garrett.”  Impulsively, she brushed a kiss against his cheek, much like the one he had given her on the docks.

They parted outside of the restaurant, Garrett heading towards the elevators, Ella towards Purgatory.  She had to deal with Aria’s  summons to join her.  The deep thrum of music echoed through the club, which was surprisingly full for such an early hour.  

The self proclaimed queen of Omega offered up the mercenary groups Ella had worked so hard to rid the galaxy of.  Having them join the fight on Earth would be risky, but possibly needed.  When the asari handed over a datapad with the pertinent information, she had to bite back a laugh.  Vido was still using a proxy to conduct his business.  It was surprising that Aria hadn’t realized that yet.

She thanked the asari before making her way to the nearest of the multiple bars.  Two shots of ryncol later, Ella was beginning to feel a pleasant haze envelope her.  It wouldn’t last long, but for a few minutes she could forget the world outside the club’s doors.  The third and fourth shots went down like water and she rose, planning to lose herself on the dance floor.  

A pair of familiar hands settled on her waist, directing her towards one of the smaller, private VIP areas of the club.  Ella knew it was a bad idea, but she couldn’t remember exactly why.  Her sense of balance decided to momentarily disappear and she stumbled back against the wall of muscle behind her.  The room spun pleasantly as she found herself lifted and carried towards the couches that lined the empty room.

“I’m still mad at you,” she muttered against his chest as heavy, tattooed arms settled around her.

“I know you are sweetheart.”

For just a moment, she let herself relax in his arms.  “I shouldn’t let you do this.”

She felt more than heard his sigh.  “I told you I wasn’t bloody giving up on us you stubborn woman.”

“Why not?” Blurry eyed and just shy of drunk, she stared him down.  “Why now and not then?”

Zaeed ran a hand through the short hair that curled behind her ear.  “Now isn’t the time sweet Ella.”  He regretted the words the minute they left his mouth as her face slacked and went hollow.

“Right.  Not the time.  Because you say so hmmm?  Be a good girl and sit and wait until it’s a good time for you.”  Ella pushed against his chest and he refused to let go. 

“I’m not having this conversation while you’re bloody drunk.”

“We could fix that,” she threatened, letting her biotics ripple just slightly.  

“Damn stubborn woman.”  Zaeed twisted, depositing her onto the couch.  Before pulling away, he brushed a kiss across her cheek.  “I’m not letting you go, but I’m not bloody letting you goad me into a fight sweetheart.”

Ella watched as he turned and walked out of the small room, tears prickling behind her eyes.    



	48. Chapter 48

_ Mordin was dead. _

_ Ashley nearly shot her. _

_ Thane was dead. _

Ella stared down at the blood soaked clothes she wore numbly.  The past day few days had been horrific.  They cured the genophage, but Mordin sacrificed himself.  They stopped the damn Cerberus bomb on Tuchanka, but Victus’ son sacrificed his own life.  All Ella had wanted when they approached the Citadel was a few moments peace.  Instead, she watched as her friend gave his own life for her and the salarian councilor.  She made her way from the hospital blindly, oblivious to the calls of doctor’s and C-Sec officials.

_ S.H.- EDI lost track of Ella thirty minutes ago.  She’s not on the Normandy, the docks, or at the hospital.  Where else would she be Zaeed?  You know her Citadel haunts the best. _

_ Z.M.- No goddamn clue.  I checked a few places in the wards and there was no sign of her. _

_ S.H.- Do you think she left?  Her behavior’s gotten increasingly erratic. _

_ Z.M.- No.  I think she’s hiding somewhere.  You know Ella, she doesn’t feel safe unless she has multiple goddamn bolt holes. _

_ S.H.- We need to find her. _

_ Z.M.- Check the damn docks again.  I’ll visit a few more places she may have gone. _

Zaeed let himself into the apartment, only to stop suddenly in the doorway.  Ella stood in the living room, clad only in the tight body suit she wore under her armor.  She stared listlessly at the photos on the wall, making no movement to acknowledge the closing door.  “Sweetheart?”  He called softly, not sure how she’d react.

Tear filled, hollow eyes looked at him.  “I follow orders.  I do what they tell me and everyone leaves and everyone dies.  Use me as a weapon and put me back on the shelf without checking for damage.”

He crossed the room slowly, pausing in front of her.  “Come on sweetheart.  Let’s clean you up.”  

Ella nodded once before he picked her up, not trusting her to get there under her own power.  His worries increased when she didn’t make a sound as he stripped the tight suit from her frame, taking note of the bruises and abrasions that still hadn’t healed.  They were old, something that he hadn’t seen since Cerberus had equipped her with skin and muscle weaves.  Her fingers tangled into the chain she wore around her neck.  Closer inspection made him realize she was wearing the necklace he had given her years ago.  Black and red stones peeked from between her fingers.  He’d think about why she was wearing it later.  

Zaeed stepped away long enough to send Steven a message that she had been found, but needed to rest before situating them both under a warm stream of water.  Ella stood placidly as he ran a washcloth across her skin, washing away as much of the dirt and blood as he could.  Her eyes drifted shut as he worked shampoo and conditioner through the short pixie cut and rinsed the soap from her body.

Wrapping a towel around her, Zaeed carried her into the bedroom, tucking the blankets around her.  As he stepped away, Ella grabbed onto his wrist.  “Don’t go,” she whispered.

He leaned down, brushing damp strands of hair from her forehead.  “I’m just going to order food sweet Ella.  You need to bloody eat something.  I’ll be right back.”

“No.  Stay.”  Her fingers tightened and he relented, crawling into the bed beside her.  

Zaeed hesitated only a moment before pulling her tight against his side.  His hand ran up and down her arm softly, watching as her lashes began to flutter and close.  The way her shoulders already twitched, he knew she’d be awake sooner rather than later as the nightmares overtook her.  

_ Z.M.- I don’t know how long she’s out for, but she’s finally sleeping.  Not that it’ll do any bloody good. _

_ S.H.- What do you mean? _

_ Z.M.- Her skin’s a bloody canvas of bruises and cuts.  Even her own damn upgrades can’t keep pace with her.  I doubt she’s eating enough to fuel them either. _

_ S.H.- Damnit.  Do we pull her off the front lines? _

_ Z.M.- We tried that once and she bloody disappeared.  Do it again and she won’t do us the favor of letting us know she’s okay. _

_ S.H.- That’s my feeling too. _

_ Z.M.- She needs a few days to heal at the very least.  I’ll see if I can convince her to stay here at least a day. _

_ S.H.- Good luck.  I have a feeling you’ll need it. _

_ Z.M.- Thanks for the bloody encouragement. _

Zaeed spent the remainder of the night keeping watch over the sleeping figure.  More than once she shot up from the bed, calling out names of lost friends and some he didn’t recognize.  Each time she seemed unaware of him soothing her back to sleep.  As morning dawned, he finally fell asleep next to her, one hand gently curled around her shoulder.

A few hours later Ella woke, her stomach grumbling loudly at her.  Pushing the blankets away, she was surprised to find Zaeed laying next to her.  Everything after the hospital had passed in a haze, she only vaguely remembered making her way to the apartment.  Everything felt like a dream.  Unsure of what exactly happened, she made her way from the bed silently.  Her clothes still sat in the dresser, so she pulled on whatever she could find.

As she made her way towards the door, Ella realized that sometime in the past day, she had destroyed her omni tool.  It was the only way EDI had of tracking her.  It also had her credit chit information stored on it.  While debating a return to the apartment where she kept a spare, a skycar pulled to a stop in front of her.  Linc’s father exited it the vehicle, a small smile playing across his face.

“My son mentioned he’d be busy with getting The Normandy ready and that you might need a ride.”

“How’d he know where I was?”

Anthony Marshall shrugged as if it didn’t matter.  “He knows you well Commander Shepard.”

Ella reluctantly accepted the offer, settling into the passenger side.  It came as no surprise when the vehicle bypassed the docks and settled into the flow of traffic.  

“Where’s Admiral Hackett expecting me this time?”

“I told him you’d figure it out.”

“Give me one reason I shouldn’t walk away the minute this car lands?”

“Because Linc may not have sent me, but he did send empanadas,”  Anthony motioned towards the back seat, where multiple wrapped pastries sat in a box.  Ella’s stomach rumbled a response for her.  He gently pushed her hand away as she reached for one.  “I’m under strict instructions you get them after seeing your father.”

“Two now, the rest after,” she bartered.   
“Sold.”

Ella was licking the remnants of sweetened filling from her fingers as they stopped in front of a high end apartment complex.  Anthony handed her a keycard.  “Neutral ground,” he explained, then paused before continuing.  “Just. . .remember it’s not the Admiral in there, it’s just Steven, just like you’re Ella, not the Commander.”  With his parting words, Linc’s father pulled away. 

Ella wasn’t sure what made her enter the building, much less get in the elevator.  The anger that had been her constant companion hadn’t disappeared.  She knew it would be easier to let the walls stay up.  Separate was safe and she wasn’t sure how much more her heart could take.  

The two story apartment was beautiful, but intimidating.  Uncharacteristically shy, Ella waited until Steven’s head and shoulders popped out from behind a wall.  His welcoming smile was hesitant.  Neither seemed sure how to broach the awkward silence that had settled between them.  Unnerved, Ella made her way to the oversized fireplace, staring into the flames.

“I’m surprised you came.”

“I am too.”  She was startled at how much the disappointment on his face hurt.  “Can you just tell me one thing?”  Ella took his silence as permission.  “Why would you keep me confined to what was basically a fancy brig and forget about me if you believed me?” 

“Forgot about you?”  Pain was evident in Steven’s voice.  “I never forgot about you Ella.  I spent hours every day figuring how how to protect you.  They wanted to kill you Ella.  Message after message of threats of your death and so much worse."

She stared at him a moment. "You really think this is the first time I've gotten death threats?"  Her laugh was devoid of humor.  "I'm a street kid with the luck of developing biotics, I was a damn good infiltrator before becoming a Spectre.  Then I died and came back working with Cerberus.  I've gotten death threats, and worse, for just being who I am.  So honestly?  The batarians don't scare me all that much anymore."

The sound of Steven’s hand slamming against the counter pulled her out of the haze of hurt and anger that was building.  “Do you think I don’t know that?  I couldn’t protect you from  any of it.  I couldn’t get you out of the hell you grew up in.  I couldn’t save you from years with The Reds.  I couldn’t keep the Collector’s from killing you or Cerberus from bringing you back, but I could damn well protect you from this.”

As he spoke, Steven crossed the room.  He reached towards her, then dropped his hand to his side.  “I messed up not visiting you,” he said softly.  “I got so caught up on protecting you physically, I forgot that you needed more than that.  There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t regretted that.  But I will  never regret keeping you safe.”

He panicked for a moment as Ella’s entire body seemed to sag.  Steven wrapped his arms around her as her shoulders began to shake.  Hot tears soaked into the material of his shirt.  He murmured nonsensical words of comfort as months of pain, frustration, and fear bubbled to the surface.  Eventually the sobs slowed and Ella’s breathing slowed to normal.  “I’m sorry I just left.”  Exhaustion and regret tinged her words.

“We both screwed up.  We’ll both fix it.  That’s what family does.”

Half a day passed before Ella finally left the apartment that she learned once belonged to David and now belonged to her.  She hesitantly took the dog tags he offered and Steven reluctantly agreed that the mercenary groups could be an asset to the war effort.  He gave her coordinates to a weapon they thought might help stop the Reapers and asked her to track down a doctor attached to the project.  The raw feelings on both side didn’t disappear, but were well on their way to healing.

The Normandy was still quiet when she arrived.  The crew still had a few hours of shore leave left and re-stocking had finished sometime the night before.  Months of lackluster sleep paired with a roller coaster of emotions, Ella wanted to do nothing but fall into her bed and sleep, if only for a few more hours.  She was halfway across her cabin when she realized it wasn’t empty.  Zaeed had stretched out along the couch.

“You disappeared on me sweetheart.  Again.”

She winced, not realizing how it would seem.  “I’m sorry.  You looked peaceful.  I didn’t want to wake you.” 

He stalked across the cabin, and into her personal space, until her back was pressed against the glass of her fishtank.  A tank that had apparently been filled in the past day.  “Next time, wake me.”  His fingers traced the neckline of her shirt before dipping in to tug at the chain around her neck.  Eyes locked as he freed the necklace.

“Nice necklace sweetheart.  Helluva surprise to find you wearing it yesterday.”  A flush worked its way up Ella’s cheeks, making Zaeed grin in return.  “You know what I think?” he breathed softly, lowering his head towards her.  “I think you bloody missed me.”

“In your dreams.”

“Every goddamn night.”  Zaeed paused a hairs breadth away from hers.  “I did miss you sweet Ella.”  His lips settled over hers in a demanding, almost bruising kiss.  Fear, anger, and frustration boiled through the kiss as he pressed her back tightly against the tank behind her.  Lips, teeth, and tongue sought out the places that made both whimper and shiver with anticipation.  

Zaeed pulled away with a half gasped curse.  His hands threaded through Ella’s hair, holding her close.  “I’m taking you on a goddamn date the next time you dock.”  His tone left no room for arguments.  With one last firm, parting kiss, he walked towards the door.  “I’ll see you soon sweetheart.”

 


	49. Chapter 49

The hushed sounds of conversation drifted down from Dr. Bryson’s lab.  When Ella had left the young woman, she had been alone.  “Dr. Bryson?  Ann?”  The voices quieted and she reached for her weapon as a large figure stepped towards the top of the stairs.

“Ella?”

“Garrett?”  Her hand fell away as she took in the uniform he wore.  “What are you doing here? And. . .what are you wearing?”

A look of embarrassment crossed his face.  “Bailey recruited me after the Citadel attack.  I mainly work the docks, but when I heard about Ann, uhhhh, Dr. Bryson’s, attack I offered to take the case over.”

A hint of a smile chased over her face at his stumble.  “It looks good on you.”  Ann appeared behind him, wiping away tears that still welled in the corner of her eyes.  After a few quiet words between them, Ann and EDI began the search to narrow down Leviathan’s possible location.  Garrett stepped up to Ella as she poked through piles, looking for clues.

Ella elbowed the man slightly.  “So, you and Ann hmm?

He colored slightly.  “We. . .have a past.  She was on Mars for a bit right after Ellie came to live with me.  The timing was. . .wrong.”

“And now?”

“She just lost her father.”

“I’m not saying ask her out but, being there for her.  It’s more important than you think.”

Garrett wrapped an arm around her shoulder.  “Speaking from experience?”  He paused.  “You look less worn down Ella.”

“I’m getting there,” she confirmed quietly.

EDI’s interruption ended their conversation as they went back to looking for Leviathan.  Garrett held the doctor’s shoulders as she agreed to connect with whatever Leviathan was.  She watched the concern flicker over her friend’s face as Ann’s eyes darkened and voice deepened.  Once they determined where the weapon was, she left Garrett to get Ann settled.  Ella didn’t hide her smile when the young scientist asked him to bring Ellie over.

_ Z.M.- I thought we were going on a bloody date. _

_ E.S.- I needed to handle this Leviathan thing.  As soon as we clear it up, I’ll be back on the Citadel to deal with the Merc gangs.   _

_ Z.M.- I don’t like it. _

_ E.S.- Join the club, but we need them. _

_ Z.M.- Let me handle them sweetheart.  I’ll handle Aria. _

_ E.S.- Fine.  But I doubt you’ll get far with the Suns. _

_ Z.M.- I’ll wait for you to handle that one. _

_ E.S.- Will it count as our date? _

_ Z.M.- Oh good, you’re back to being a smart ass.  I bloody missed that. _

_ E.S.- I. . .missed it too. _

_ Z.M.- Let me know when you’re done.   _

_ E.S.- I will.  I love you. _

_ Z.M.- I love you too sweetheart. _

Hours later Ella stared at the ancient, rusting diving mech wondering how she got into the situation.  Ashley and Garrus were doing their best to keep the Reaper troops occupied as Cortez strapped her into the machine.

“Steve, if this thing breaks on me, I’m coming back as a ghost and haunting you until the end of time.”

“Relax Commander.  She should work just fine.”

“Says the man not having to dive how many hundred feet in it.”  Ella did her best to bury the ball of anxiety that rolled in her stomach.  She didn’t enjoy open water as it was and the idea of diving made her nearly nauseous.

“Make it back alive and I’ll tell you about the date I have planned with Linc.”  

“Wait.  What?”  The glass slid into place, muffling her surprised outburst.  As the mech began making its way towards the roiling waters, Ella managed one last, deep breath before plunging into the darkness.

* * *

_ To: Zaeed Massani _

_ From: Steven Hackett _

_ Subj: Ella _

_ Karin looked her over thoroughly.  Other than a bloody nose and headache she’s physically fine, even if she did manage to scare all of us, again.  She’s going to give me a heart attack.  I just get her back and she goes diving off the side of a boat in an ancient mech? _

_ I would suggest you be there to meet her.  We both know how well she can hide things if necessary. _

_ And we’ll discuss the  other thing in person when I arrive. _

_ S _

* * *

The apartment wasn’t empty.  Ella had half expected Zaeed to be busy dealing with the demands of the various merc groups.  She had heard rumblings of a situation on Omega as well.  She was surprised to find lights on and a vaguely spicy scent wafting from the kitchen.  Zaeed, apparently having heard the swish of closing doors, came to stand in the doorway.  He took one look at the heavy leather coat and thick forest green cable knit and knew she hadn’t been entirely truthful with the doctor.

“Cold sweetheart?”

“Just a bit.”  Her smile was sheepish and resigned.  “You know it’s not fair when you all gang up on me, right?”

“We just got you back.  We’re not taking any bloody chances.”  He motioned towards the bathroom.  “The bathtub is waiting sweet Ella.  Go warm up while dinner finishes.  You’re still too bloody skinny.”

“It’s been two days,” she retorted quietly before shedding the jacket and sweater in the living room.  He followed behind, picking up the discarded clothes and dumping them in a hamper.  Ella had lowered herself into the steaming water, head resting against the edge.  Zaeed quietly lowered himself onto the floor beside her.  His hands tangled into her short mess of hair.

Neither spoke as he slowly worked out knots of tension that had formed around her amp port and neck.  Eventually her shoulders relaxed and his hands went from massaging to soothing.  “I missed being able to just touch you,” he told her in a hushed voice.  

Her eyes opened slightly as she peered up at him through long lashes.  “I shouldn’t have run.”

“You had every goddamn reason to run sweetheart.  Both Steven and I were idiotic as Linc pointed out numerous times.”  His thumb traced down the line of her neck, working on the tight muscles.  “It’s our bloody fault, though I plan to lay most of it at your father’s feet.”  Zaeed was rewarded with a soft chuckle.

In the quiet solitude of their apartment, the two began the slow process of reconnecting.  Zaeed told her about his quest to take out Cerberus cells that were popping up with alarming frequency.  Ella told him about Ireland and her time spent on Mars.  They avoided talking about Vido, or her relationship with Garrett and Ellie.  He surprised her by mentioning that the civilian militia she had authorized had requested his assistance in training and that he agreed.  

The water was nearly cold before Ella decided to emerge.  For the second time in as many visits, Zaeed dried her off.  This time though, she would remember the heated look in his eyes as he wrapped a towel around her.  Ella was just about to suggest they move into the bedroom, when the door chimes began to buzz insistently.  With a low grown and muttered “goddamn cockblocks,” Zaeed stalked out of the bathroom, waiting until Ella was in the bedroom before opening the door.

A frowning Steven stood in the doorway, waiting impatiently to be let in.  “Where is she?”

“Nice to see you too Steven.”  He move aside so the admiral could enter.  “She just got out of a bloody bath.  She’s getting dressed.”

Steven’s eyes flicked towards the closed door, then back at the bounty hunter.  “What are you thinking Zaeed?”

“Keep your voice down.  And I’m thinking it’s been a damn long time coming.

“But why now?”

“Because she needs a bloody future to look towards.”  Zaeed ran a hand across his eyes.  “And so do I.  There’s always been some goddamn reason we shouldn’t and I finally realized I don’t care anymore.  I’m marrying her if she’ll have me.”

They stared at each other a moment.  “I think your timing sucks Massani,” Steven finally said on a sigh, “but I know there’s nothing I can say to change your mind.”

“There isn’t.”

The two men were still eyeing each other up when Ella emerged from the bedroom.“It’s been a long time since you two did that,” she commented mildly.  “If we’re done with the metaphorical pissing contest, we need to get going.  I apparently have a date with a merc boss tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella and Zaeed's bathroom (minus the window) http://missmeggo929.tumblr.com/post/87615101993


	50. Chapter 50

_ To: Ella Shepard _

_ From: Vido Santiago _

_ Subj: My Help _

_ Little One, _

_ I told you eventually you’d come crawling to me, needing my help.  If only you had listened to me years ago.  I’m sending you clothing fit to be seen in and the directions to our meeting place. _

_ We’ll begin negotiations there and. . .see where it leads us. _

_ Vido _

Ella flat out refused to wear the clothing Vido sent her.  It was too short, too tight, and a walking advertisement for the Suns.  She put the blue and white monstrosity straight into the garbage behind her apartment.  With EDI’s help, she tracked down a black asymmetrical dress.  The hem began mid thigh and sharply angled down to just barely skim the floor while the single strap left her arms, and majority of her shoulders, bare.  As she walked towards the door, Zaeed stopped her.

“You’re missing something sweetheart.  Close your eyes.”  Eyes twinkling, she complied and felt a soft weight settle along her collarbone and wrist.  A small box was placed in her hands.  “Open up sweet Ella.”

She peered in a nearby mirror and couldn’t help but laugh.  Yellow stones winked from a pendant around her neck and a string of stones around her wrist.  A matching ring sat in the box she clasped.  “Marking your territory Zaeed?”she asked, sliding the ring onto her right hand.

“Bloody right I am.”

Don’t worry.  EDI’s going to track me and I doubt Vido’s goons are smart enough to figure it out.  I put a dummy tracker in the hem of my dress to throw them off as it is.”

Zaeed pressed a hard kiss against her lips before stepping back.  “I’ll see you in a bit sweetheart.”

“You better.  I remember being promised a date.”

“First we deal with Vido.  Then you get your bloody date.”

Ella had grudgingly agreed to take Vido’s transportation.  He refused to tell her where exactly they were meeting.  When the skycar stopped in front of one of the nicer restaurants on the Citadel, she wasn’t too surprised, but the nearly empty dining room gave her pause.  Vido was the only patron and a handful of his goons stood watch throughout the room.  He had picked a small table that overlooked the Presidium lake.  The welcoming smile turned to a frown when he took in her outfit.  “I’m disappointed Little One.  I spent many nights envisioning you in the dress I chose.”

Ella shrugged gracefully, noting the way his eyes settled on her exposed skin.  “It didn’t fit.  I thought this might be a suitable replacement.”  Ignoring his outstretched hand, Ella sauntered towards the table, taking the glass of alcohol a waiter offered before sitting.  She couldn’t prevent him from pushing her chair in, but deliberately let her muscles tense as his hands settled on the exposed skin of her shoulders.  He settled into the chair across from her, a self satisfied smirk on his face.  

As he went to motion the waiter towards them, Ella gently wrapped her hand around his wrist.  “Let’s discuss business first.  No need to ruin a good meal with unpleasantness.”

“Perhaps you are right my lovely Little One.” 

She let the mercenary boss outline what exactly he had planned for them.  Ella would funnel resources and information to his organization.  Once he felt her  _ debt _ had been paid, she would begin to see financial benefits.  The Suns would, of course, offer her protection.  They didn’t want to worry about losing their prized possession.  Ella maintained her facade of cool indifference while internally, she seethed.  

“And of course, the more. . . _ personally _ invested you are with me, the faster those debts would be paid off Little One.  It would be most beneficial for you to accept that offer, given your acts in Ireland.”  Vido’s hand covered hers, squeezing slightly.  She fought the desire to let her biotics flare.

From behind his back, Ella noticed the flash of familiar Alliance blue.  _ Showtime . _  She leaned back slightly, deftly removing her hand from under his.  “And Massani?”

“You left him, did you not?”  Vido shrugged, an air of casual indifference settling over him.  “Bounty hunters like him have accidents all the time.  Especially in times of galactic war.”

She hummed a noncommittal sound, raising her glass, pretending to take a sip.  She wasn’t naive enough to think Vido wouldn’t press his advantages, including drugging her glass.  With exaggerated care, she set the flute back down and leaned forward slightly, a coy smile on her face.  His eyes gleamed as he mirrored her position, eyes only darting to the neckline of her dress once.

“You know what I think Vido?  I think I promised to make you a pauper king and I did just that.  I’m well aware of the . . . financial troubles you’ve faced since I started my little quest back in Ireland.  The destruction of your base was quite costly.”  She paused, watching the smug confidence on his face morph towards anger.  “I did exactly what I promised.  And the rest,” she trailed off, then shrugged.  “I’ll leave it up to the others.”

His hand shot out, wrapping her hair in his fist.  “I’m tired of being nice Little One.  There are no others who will help you.  Not anymore.  You’ve left your precious Alliance and Massani wants nothing to do with you.”

“Think again Santiago.”  She let her biotics flare, throwing him backwards, ignoring the sharp pain of pulling hair.  The prone figure landed a few feet from her.  As he stood, Vido called for his guards and stuttered to a stop when he realized they were missing.  His skin turned deathly pale when two figures stepped out from either side of the restaurant.  Zaeed came to stand next to her, Steven approaching the mercenary from behind.  

“You’re a king without a kingdom Vido.  That was my promise to you.  The rest, well, my father and Zaeed would like to have . . .words with you.”  As a final insult, Ella laid a hand against Zaeed’s armor and smiled at him.  “I’ll see you at home Zaeed,” her voice full of promise.  His answering smile was tight and as the two men approached the panicking mercenary, Ella turned and exited the building.  Her job was done and she trusted Zaeed and Steven to deal out a justice they saw fit.  

She was home less than half an hour when Zaeed made his way through the door.  Ella handed him a glass of whiskey that he took with thanks.  Wordlessly, she followed him to the small workroom they set up off the main bedroom.  Each piece was carefully put away and as he reached for a dress shirt, Ella stopped him.

“Thought we had a date sweetheart?”

“I’ll take a damn rain check.”  She watched as he down the rest of his drink, setting the glass next to Jessie on the workbench.  He met her smile with one of his own and she intertwined their fingers, guiding him back into the bedroom.  

Zaeed stopped her in the middle of the room.  Nimble fingers found the zipper of her dress.  Inch by inch he lowered it, placing soft kisses against the soft skin he exposed.  A slight push sent the gossamer fabric gliding down her upper body.  Ella’s hands pushed at the dress impatiently until it pooled at her feet.  

Matching her impatience, he tugged Ella back against him, her back pressed tightly against his chest.  Calloused, rough fingers pulled against the soft skin of her stomach before dipping into the scrap of fabric that covered her.  His thumb settled against her clit, setting a firm quick pace.  There was no soft, gentle seduction.  Months of bottled emotion exploded as he slid one, then two fingers deep into her.  Ella grasped at the fabric of his clothes, steadying herself as he set lips and teeth to the curve of her shoulder.  Zaeed sucked a bruising kiss against the curve of her neck as she came with a cry, hips pushed tight against his hand.

Ella sagged back against him as he reluctantly pulled his hand away.  Zaeed didn’t give her a chance to recover, carrying her towards the bed.  Laying her in the center of the bed, he divested them both of their remaining clothes.  Ella twisted to lay on her side, pulling him flush against her.  Their previous urgency faded as they traded kisses.  No longer satisfied with gentle touches, she wrapped her leg across his hip.  

A self satisfied smile crossed her face as Ella reached down and guided his cock into her.  They paused, both enjoying the long denied feelings.  Slowly, they both began to move.  Side by side, neither led and neither followed.  Together they found a rhythm and angle that had both shuddering with sensation.  Zaeed’s head dropped against hers, foreheads pressed together as Ella’s breath began to speed.  “Together sweetheart,” he murmured, hand clenching possessively over her hip.

Ella nodded her assent, their tempo increasing.  She clutched at his arm, blunt nails scoring a path along his tattoos.  Zaeed felt her body tighten, the long remembered familiarity bringing him closer to the edge.  Her biotics flared as she came, the extra sensation sending him over the edge with a hoarse cry.  Blindly he reached out, rolling onto his back, Ella pressed against his chest, his cock still deep inside her.  

Neither spoke as their breathing evened and skin cooled, both content in the knowledge that the other was there.


	51. Chapter 51

The metal docking tube shifted and twitched under her mag boots.  A phantom hiss sounded in her ears and Ella slapped the air hose on the back of her suit.  She froze on the twisting metal, fighting to get air into her lungs.  

 

The comm in her ear buzzed to life.  “Ella?  Sweetheart what’s wrong?  Why did EDI patch me through?”

The familiar cadence of Zaeed’s voice pulled her from the panic that had set in.  “Just keep talking to me.”

“Where are you?”

“On a broken docking tube working my way to a geth ship while they and the quarians try to destroy each other.”

“You need a distraction?”   
“It’d be nice right about now.”  

Zaeed heard the ripping of metal and Ella’s shuddering breath over the comms.  “Our stuff’s all unpacked.  I even helped that friend of yours and his daughter move in.”

“You met Ellie?”

“She called me Mr. Zaeed the entire time.  She has too much bloody energy.”

“It was sweet of you to offer it to them.”

“We didn’t need two apartments.”

“It was still sweet.”

He heard the distinctive thud of bay doors closing.  “You alright there sweetheart?”

“I am.  I’m in the ship now.”  The relief was evident in her voice.  “I think we need to have a party.  The Normandy’s gotta dry dock soon.”

“It’s a bloody date.  Now go broker some more peace.”

“That’s the plan.”

 

* * *

 

 “What do you mean you can’t bloody tell them apart?”  Zaeed growled at the young marine.  

James took a step back, hands up in surrender.  “Lola and the clone were both hanging out the back of the Normandy.  We hauled both of them up and now we don’t know which is which.  Brooks and Cerberus did their homework.”

“Let me see them.”  The Normandy’s dry dock had not gone to plan.  Instead of the break he had promised her, Ella had flown directly from Rannoch to Thessia.  The mission had been draining on her.  Zaeed and Steven had finally cajoled her into returning to the Citadel, only to be shot at, fall through a glass fish tank, and having to infiltrate a casino party, culminating in a firefight through the Citadel Archives.  When Garrus messaged him saying they had both Ella and the clone, this wasn’t exactly what he expected.

The two identical women sat in the cargo bay, multiple weapons drawn on them.  Both Ellas watched his approach. Zaeed looked between the two, taken aback by their almost identical looks of frustration.  Muttering under his breath, he paced in front of them for a moment.  Eventually he stopped to stare again.  “What’s the first bloody thing I ever bought you?”

“A pistol.  A Pinnacle right before I went into boot camp,” one Shepard replied, sending the other a smug grin.

The second Ella’s lip twitched just slightly as she leaned back.  Eyes locked on Zaeed, her lips curled into a full, soft smile.  “A bowl of lemon gelato.  Right before my twelfth birthday as we waited for Steven.”

“Well now, that wasn’t so hard was it sweet Ella?”

The clone leapt to its feet, biotics flared, but Ella was faster.  Well honed instincts had her slamming the clone to the ground.  Multiple shots rang through the Normandy’s bay, each finding its mark.  Zaeed stepped between Ella and the clone, blocking her from witnessing the last struggling breaths of her double.  

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, turning her gently.  “Come on sweetheart.  We’re going to the arcade and then home.”

Ella blinked the confusion from her face.  “Why the arcade?”

“I think Ellie needs a stuffed hanar to go with the bloody volus we got her, don’t you think?”

“Are you trying to distract me from the dead clone on my ship?”

“Without a doubt.  Call up the slip of a girl.  She and her father can meet us there.”

 

* * *

Ella watched from the balcony as her crew slowly began to settle down for the evening.  More than a few of her friends were happily drunk; laughing as they danced or showed off some skill or another.  Inhibitions loosened by alcohol, her crew slowly began to pair off.  She’d have to tease Linc mercilessly whenever he and Steve emerged from wherever they had snuck off too.  Vega and Ashley spent most of the night circling each other while Garrus and Tali were exchanging longing, if slightly hazy, glances.  Even Garrett had snuck out early, cheeks darkening when Ella had asked him to give her best to Dr. Bryson.

Her own counterpart had been noticeably absent the past hour and she was feeling decidedly put out.  Ella glanced over her shoulder, towards the wrapped package on the bed.  It had taken a ridiculous amount of work to get her surprise ready without her gruff shadow knowing about it.  She knew the end was drawing near.  They all did if she was honest and she wanted him to have something to remember her by.  Just in case.  

Hands settling on her hips pulled Ella from her reverie.  She leaned back against Zaeed, pushing the sleeves of his shirt up to trace along the lines of ink.  “You know it’s generally frowned upon to disappear from a party being held in your home,” she commented idly.

“Had a bloody errand to run.” 

“At midnight?”

“Citadel never sleeps,” he quipped before tugging her backwards slightly.  He turned, refusing to unwrap his arms from her.  They awkwardly shuffled towards their bedroom, giggles bubbling from Ella.  She finally managed to wiggle free and scooped up the package from the bed.  Unexpectedly shy, she handed it to him, a blush working its way across her cheeks.

Interest piqued, Zaeed sat, slowly pulled away the plain brown paper and flipped the locks on the case.  

“Why exactly did you wrap Jessie sweetheart?”

“Just. . .pick her up.”

Confused, he did as she asked, only to feel the weapon respond for the first time in years.  Amazed, he inspected every inch of the weapon.  “How in the bloody hell?”

Ella’s shrug was careless, yet she hadn’t stopped blushing.  “I asked Liara if any of her techs could devise a way to repair her.  Don’t worry, I’m the only one who actually did the work on her.  No nameless faceless grunts got their hands on Jessie.  I just. . .thought it was time she fought in battle with you again.”

Almost reverently, he placed the rifle back in its case before pulling her down onto the bed with him.  Strong, tattooed arms wrapped around her back, his head resting in the crook of her neck.  Ella’s arms wrapped around his neck and shoulders, her cheek pressed against his crown.  Neither was sure how long they sat their twined together, the party below forgotten.  

Minutes, or hours, later  Zaeed slowly loosened his hold slightly, pulling back to smile at Ella.  “You’re bloody incredible sweet Ella.”

“All I did was fix your rifle.”

“That’s not all you did.”  He unwound an arm, reaching blindly for the table beside the bed.  “I’m no bloody good with words, we both know that.  But I do know that I love you.  I have for a long goddamn time and I don’t want it to bloody end.”  A hint of a smile crossed his face.  “I have something for you too.”

Ella untangled her arms, sitting back slightly.  Zaeed handed her the small square box he had hidden away not long after their suicide run through the Omega 4.  Her hands shook slightly as she opened the palm sized box.  Black and red stones shone from the platinum bands interwoven between them.  Her fingers tangled into the necklace she now wore constantly.  Zaeed nudged her fingers away gently.  “I gave you that the first time I told you I loved you.  Seems right I give you something matching when I ask you to marry me.”

“Marry you?”  

He chuckled at the stunned look on her face.  “I just said I planned to be here a long time.  Makes sense I marry the woman I love doesn’t it?  Marry me sweet Ella.”

Eyes wide, she nodded slowly, slipping the ring from the box and onto her finger.

“Have I left you speechless?  Is that a yes?”

“Yes.”

“Yes to what?”

“To all of it, yes.”  She pressed her forehead against his, letting out a shocked breath.  “I will marry you Zaeed Massani.”


	52. Chapter 52

_ The silence was overwhelming. _

_ The Citadel was never quiet. _

_ It must  be a dream. _

The breath stealing pain that shot through her rid Ella of any notions this was a dream.  The quiet darkness was what remained of the Citadel.  She had no idea if the damn Crucible did what it was supposed to.  All she could remember was sitting next to David, watching the life slowly leave his face and waiting for her own to do the same.  Only the distant voice of her father over the radio had broken through the haze.

_ She could still hear him _

Steven’s voice was dim, even in the silence of her tomb.  Unwillingly, Ella pried her eyes open, taking in the rubble that encased her.  The comms, knocked free of her ear as the station had crumbled around her, crackled to life again.

“Ella.  Talk to me kiddo.  I need to know you’re there.”  Steven’s voice held a desperation she had never heard before.  Pain coursed through her arm as she tried to lift it.  Panting, she dropped it, instead nudging her head closer and, by pure luck, engaged the comms.

“Too loud.”

“Thank the Gods.  Where are you kiddo?  We have shuttle en route to the Citadel.  You did it.”

“Citadel’s destroyed.  I’m lost in the rubble.”

“I’m not losing you.”

“Might not have a choice.”  Ella glanced down at her pinned leg as a wave of nausea, then darkness washed over her. “Just let me sleep Dad.  I’m so tired.”

“You’re not giving up now Ella.  That’s an order.”

“Tell Zaeed I love him?  Please?”

“Tell him yourself when you see him again.”

“I love you too Steven.  Remember that okay?”  

* * *

Steven’s comm crackled as the line to Ella suddenly cut off.  “Ella?  Talk to me kiddo.”

Static was his only response.    Desperately, he kept attempting to reach her as the shuttle he had commandeered raced towards the space station.  Zaeed, who had been stationed at the Forward Operating Base, had made a beeline towards the beam that connected Earth to the Citadel as soon as the Reapers were handled.  He, along with Wrex and Kasumi, would meet Steven on the docks.

“Where in the bloody hell is she?”  The panic in Zaeed’s voice was foreign to those around him.

“I don’t know.  I raised her on comms for a minute before they cut out.”

Zaeed’s look was sharp “Cut out?”

“Yes.”  Steven had no qualms lying to his friend.  Admitting Ella might be dead helped neither of them.

“Then we better bloody get to work.”

For almost eighteen hours they dug through piles of wreckage, looking for anything that might give them clues as to Ella’s whereabouts.  They were nearing on exhaustion when a grim faced Kasumi appeared seemingly out of nowhere.  The little thief had found a way into the Keeper tunnels.  Both men recoiled at the bodies lined up along the passageway, the insect like race already disposing of Reaper tech that lined the walls.

The tunnels led to a central platform, near what they assumed was the center of the station.  It was there they found David’s lifeless body, along with The Illusive Man’s.  A somber Steven arranged to have both bodies removed, while Zaeed stared at the pool of blood to the left of Anderson.  A trail of droplets led towards the edge of the platform then disappeared.  

“We’ll find her.”  No one around them believed the desperate optimism in Steven’s voice.

 

* * *

Something woke her from the pain-induced blackout.  Ella was unsure of how much time had passed, only that the once quiet station now echoed with sounds, muffled as they were.  The rubble above her had shifted slightly and she wasn’t sure if that was a good sign, or bad one.  

 

Fighting against another wave of blackness, she tried to activate her comms again.

Frustrated tears burned the corners of her eyes.  Her right arm was nearly useless.   The Cerberus implants were failing. In a last ditch attempt, Ella slapped at the omni tool with her left hand.  A weak flash of orange filled the small rubble cavern before she slid back into unconsciousness once again.

 

* * *

“We got a ping.”  Kasumi’s excited announcement cut through the fog that had settled around Zaeed days ago.  By day two, people were discouraged, day four had dawned with looks of pity sent towards those who still expected to find Ella alive.

“A ping?  When?  Where?”

“A few minutes ago, to Admiral Anderson’s omni tool.”  Her voice was subdued with the mention of the deceased man.  “He was the last person she contacted on it after being sent up here by the beam.”

“Did we get a bloody location?”

“Yes.”  The simple, one word answer brought him more hope than Zaeed had in days.  “David, Grunt, and Wrex will meet us there.”

The thief handed him a set of coordinates, not far from where they were already searching.  It was a quiet, yet hopeful group who surveyed the damage.  Part of the wards had dropped in this area, leaving large beams criss crossed over each other.  Smaller pieces of rubble had settled over them.  

“What are we waiting for?” Wrex demanded.  “Let’s find her.”

It took hours to slowly remove the smaller pieces of rubble.  Zaeed and Steven directed surviving C-Sec and Alliance teams.  A group of asari and krogan combined their efforts to clear larger pieces with their biotics.  Kasumi had finally forced the two men into taking a break when Grunt’s battlecry cut through the air.

Zaeed watched as the tank bred krogan emerged from under a beam cradling a dusty and damaged set of armor.  His heart stopped for a moment when he realized just how limp the body was.  The crowd parted as both he and Steven took off towards Grunt.

“My battlemaster breathes,” he announced as the men skidded to a stop in front of him.  “I will carry her to Huerta.”  No one argued with the krogan, who snarled when anyone he didn’t know approached.  It wasn’t until Dr. Michel met them at the hospital that Ella’s “tank baby” surrendered his battlemaster.

The private waiting room was crowded with former teammates as they waited for the doctors to emerge.  Hours passed before an exhausted Dr. Michel met with them.

“The Commander is stabilized, but still critical.  None of us have the training or experience with the numerous upgrades Cerberus gave her to know what exactly may happen.  She’s been moved to a private room.  For now, family only may visit her.”

Relief tinged exhaustion flooded through Zaeed as he dropped to the chairs behind him.  His hands dashed over tired eyes that came back suspiciously damp as Steven clasped him on the back.  “We have her back.  She’s still here Massani.”

 

* * *

“It’s been three goddamn weeks sweetheart.  You need to bloody wake up.”  Zaeed took Ella’s limp left hand in his.  Calloused fingers traced over the ring she still wore.  “You’re too fucking quiet.”

“She’ll wake up.”  Steven stood in the doorway, two cups of instant swill they were calling coffee.  “Her last scans showed the swelling going down.  She just needs to rest.”  He handed Zaeed a paper cup and sipped from his own absently.  “You need to rest Massani.  You’re no good to her dead on your feet.”

“I’m not leaving her.”

“Then at least try and sleep.  The couch isn’t too uncomfortable.  I’m here for the next few hours.”  Ella’s crew that had been stationed on Earth had set up a visiting schedule so she was never alone.  Kasumi read from the novels she had pilfered through the years, while Grunt and Wrex told her increasingly wild tales of their exploits on Tuchanka.  Jack was usually quiet, but Zaeed swore he heard her reciting poetry a few days before.  He brushed a kiss against her knuckles before carefully tucking Ella’s hand back under the blankets.

“In a bit.”  Zaeed stood, letting Steven take the chair beside her bed.  It had become somewhat of an evening routine.  Steven had pulled out a datapad, reading through the massive quantities of reports that piled up through the day.  He often commented on them to his daughter.  Zaeed would take a chair closer to a window, staring out over the artificial lake of the Presidium and try to sleep until the admiral eventually kicked him out.

He couldn’t relax though, not completely.  The beeps and clicks of the machines surrounding Ella was hypnotic, but not soothing.  Zaeed jumped whenever someone entered the private room and eventually gave up the pretense of sleep.  Staring at, but not seeing the lake, he heard a sharp beep emanate from behind him.  He thought nothing of it until a low, familiar, feminine moan filled the room.

Both he and Steven lurched towards the bed.  Ella’s good arm fought against the blanket, which was quickly pulled away.  Zaeed grasped at the fingertips not encased on her right arm.  “It’s okay sweetheart.  We’re here.”  He heard her breath hitch and the machines beep again.  “Open your eyes sweet Ella.  You’re safe, I promise.”

Her hand clenched once around Steven’s, before her eyes opened slowly, blinking against the artificial light.  She looked first at Steven, then Zaeed, confusion crossing her face.  “Why am I here?” she rasped, voice harsh with disuse.

“You’re at Huerta kiddo.  Your injuries are pretty bad.”

She swallowed, trying to wet her throat.  “Supposed to be dead.  It told me I’d die,” she mumbled.

“Who told you you’d die?”

Ella’s eyes clenched as doctors and nurses began to fill the room.  “Supposed to be dead,” she repeated once more before Zaeed and Steven were escorted from the room to let the doctors work.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dog/Everest- http://missmeggowrites.tumblr.com/post/91060408404/handsomedogs-untitled-jim-zuckerman

A large group of doctors wheeled Ella away after she woke for a battery of tests.   It soon became clear that her cybernetics wouldn’t start functioning again, even if she was awake as they had hoped.  The leg she had broken on Zorya had been re-injured and a piece of falling debris had crushed her armor, damaging the muscles in her right arm.  They would both heal, but the process would be slow.

She refused to speak to anyone after the doctors left her room.  Concerned, Steven and Zaeed pushed to have her released from the hospital.  Her injuries would need to heal, but could be done outside of the sterile environment of Huerta. Two days after waking, Ella found herself aboard a private shuttle on her way to Buenos Aires.  Steven’s retirement home had been left relatively untouched during the Reaper onslaught.  Remembering how much she had enjoyed her last visit, they both hoped it would aide in her recovery.

The first two weeks Ella did little but sleep and watch old vids that Steven had collected over the years.  She rarely spoke to anyone and responded to messages with one or two word responses.  Physical therapists visited nearly every day and her participation was rote and halfhearted at best.  Even the threat of more doctors and a return trip to the hospital wouldn’t get her to open up.  Zaeed’s concern grew with each passing day.

A month into her convalescence, Zaeed disappeared one afternoon, leaving Ella to the whims of her physical therapists.  By the time he returned, the house was nearly empty and Ella had returned to her usual spot to stare at the city that was slowly rebuilding.  He found her there most afternoons.

“I got you something sweetheart.”

Ella barely acknowledged his words, her eyes flicking towards him just slightly.  He saw the moment she took a double take.  Zaeed very gently deposited the ball of white fluff into her lap.  The pup wasted no time in giving her a series of licks, then settling down on her lap.  

Sad, but not quite as distant eyes landed on him.  “Why?” she asked, voice hoarse with disuse.

“Because you wanted for bloody ever one and now you can have one.  Do we need another goddamn reason?”

Her shoulders twitched in what may have been a shrug, but her fingers twined in the soft fur of the puppy.

Nearly two months into her recovery, Zaeed found her propped up against a counter in the kitchen, her walking cane within grabbing distance.  He watched from the doorway as she sliced ham and onions to add into an omelet.  Home fries sizzled in another pan.  Her movements were slow and clumsy, her arm still firmly encased in a sling, but it was the first time he saw her voluntarily use it outside of therapy.  The still unnamed puppy tumbled around her feet, chewing on a toy Karin had dropped off a few days previous..

“Are you planning on standing there all morning or will you carry these to the table?”  The gentle teasing that had been absent from her voice for so long was back, at least for a moment. 

Zaeed pushed off the doorframe to cross the kitchen.  Before grabbing the plates, he brushed a kiss against her hair.  Ella leaned into the touch, another first since they arrived in Buenos Aires.  He took advantage of her good mood, filling her in on as much news as possible, sneaking bites of ham to the growling ball of fur.  She slapped at his fingers, a small smile ghosting across her face.

“Have you named him yet sweetheart?  I can’t keep calling him Dog for the rest of his goddamn life.

“Dog.  That’s. . .creative Massani.”

“He’s your bloody beast.  You name him.”

“He has a name.  It’s Everest.”

“Everest hmmm.  Fits.  He’s going to be a mountain of a dog.”

That morning marked a change in Ella’s mood.  For the next month she willingly participated in physical therapy and was polite, if still slightly distant, with her doctors.  Friends slowly began to visit as The Normandy finally limped its way back into the Sol system.  Zaeed refused to admit to tearing up slightly the first time he heard her laugh.  Grunt had slung her, gently, over his back and carried her out to the beach, intent on spotting sharks, Everest barking at the krogan the entire time. 

They had been at the house nearly three months when Zaeed woke in the middle of the night to an empty bed and missing puppy.  The doctor’s had removed Ella’s leg cast the previous day and she had begun exploring, the overgrown ball of fur her constant shadow.  He made his way through the darkened house, not finding her in any of the usual spots.  Movement along their small strip of beach had him throwing on shoes.

“What in the bloody hell are you doing on the beach at two in the goddamn morning?”

“Digging for seashells.  Then I got distracted.”

“Seashells? In the middle of the bloody night?”

“Hear that?  It’s called quiet.  I enjoy the quiet.  You’re disturbing the quiet Massani.”  Her voice had taken on a decidedly irritated tone.

With a sigh Zaeed sat down next to her on the cool sand.  Everest curled up against his leg with a sigh.  Ella had gathered a small collection of shells in differing sizes and colors.  He grabbed one from the pile and brushed the sand from it.  “What’s with the bloody shells sweetheart?”

She studiously avoided his gaze for a moment.  “Mordin wanted to collect seashells.”

Zaeed examined the shell he held in his hand.  “Did I ever tell you the damn salarian cornered me on the ship to discuss our ‘reproductive habits’?”

Ella couldn’t contain the giggle that bubbled up.  “That doesn’t surprise me.  His first week on the ship, he pulled me aside and assured me his lab was stocked with a variety of reproductive aides and protection.  He always did try and look out for all of us.” 

She began the slow process of brushing sand off of the shells and placing them into the small container she had brought down with her.  Once finished, Zaeed took the box under one arm and helped her stand with the other.  Once inside, Ella twined her arms around his back and rested her head against his chest. 

“So, the doctor’s gave me some other interesting news yesterday.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve been medically cleared to resume certain . . . activities.”

“Is that so?”  Zaeed extracted himself from Ella’s grasp and stepped away slightly, the box of seashells abandoned on a table.

Ella let out a surprised laugh when he, gently, swung her up into his arms and walked her towards the window seat.  She had turned the nook into her own space covered in pillows and blankets.  Zaeed settled her onto the sill, his hands threading through her hair.

The first kiss was tentative, almost innocent.  Zaeed had been cautious while she healed, both physically and emotionally.  It was Ella who finally deepened the kiss. Still, his hands didn’t move from her neck.  She covered his hands with her own and slid them down, from collarbone to waist, then under the soft fabric of her shirt.  His hands traced over new scars, some from the final push, and others from surgeries during her recovery.   Together they removed first his clothes, then hers.  

Zaeed settled comfortably between her legs.  Her fingertips sketched over the familiar lines of his tattoos, following them down the length of his body.  Ella bit back a startled moan as his thumbnail scraped across the sensitive peak of a nipple.  Eager to draw the sound from her again, he repeated the motion. 

She shifted restlessly against him, delighted to feel the press of his hardening cock against her stomach.  Ella reached between their bodies to stroke him, drawing a muted groan from the bounty hunter.  It morphed into a deep chuckle as she grinned at him. 

“Two can play that game sweetheart,” he murmured quietly.  Zaeed gently licked at her nipple before replacing tongue with teeth.  His thumb continued its attention on the other.  Ella’s back arched, pushing her even closer towards him.

Distracted by his ministrations, Zaeed missed the tell-tale tingle of biotics being released.  He startled, thrusting up into Ella’s hand as she channeled the energy into her hand, teasing his cock with the energy.  Her laughter reverberated through both of them before he pulled away.  His hands slid down her body, settling between her legs.  Zaeed’s finger slid easily into her, Ella’s body clenching tight in response. 

Her hand tightened on his cock and then released.  “Please,” she whispered.  “I’ve missed you.”

He was tempted to ignore her pleas, but months of waiting had him impatient as well.  Zaeed pulled his fingers from her and slowly sheathed himself inside of her.  He was still, until Ella wrapped her legs around him.  They moved together slowly, reveling in each low moan and tremble of muscles.  Zaeed stilled in her as she came, her body tight around him.  As she relaxed, he began to move again.  His pace quickened just slightly as her sensitive body clenched and twitched around him.  It wasn’t until she cried out on her second orgasm that he came with her.

They stayed pressed together as their bodies cooled.  Eventually he pulled away to carry her into the small office they had redesigned into a bedroom on the first floor.  Ella settled against his side, falling asleep almost instantly.  Zaeed’s arms tightened around her as they slept.  For the first time since the beginning of the war, she slept without nightmares.


	54. Chapter 54

Their wedding was a surprise to most.  A few weeks after her cast was removed, Ella announced she had no desire to wait any longer to get married.  She didn’t want it to turn into a publicity stunt or fight reporters for months on end.  Zaeed was content with whatever Ella planned.  She managed to guilt Steven and Linc into clearing their schedules for an unexpected trip to Buenos Aires.  Karin attended with her father and Ella was delighted to see that Linc brought Steve with him.  

Linc had taken one look over vid comm at the outfits both she and Zaeed had planned on wearing and declared them unsuitable, even if it wasn’t a large celebration.  He ignored Ella when she pointed out that dress clothes were not in demand during the rebuilding of Earth.  Two days later, her best friend stood outside her door, two large parcels in tow.  Linc handed one off to Zaeed and demanded Ella try on the other.  

As Ella smoothed the royal blue lace sheath, she had to admit Linc had picked a beautiful dress.  The lace sleeves covered the scarring on her arms without looking dowdy.  Linc had also supplied a pair of silver sandals she had slipped into before donning the dress.  Silver and sapphire jewelry on her wrists and ears finished off the simple, non traditional outfit.  Ella had done her own hair; one thin braid braided into the rest of her hair.    

“You look absolutely gorgeous kiddo.”  Steven stood in the doorway of her room, a bouquet of wildflowers in his hands, Everest darting past him.  Ella gently shushed the exuberant pup, careful he didn’t muss her dress.  Steven held the flowers out to her.  “Couldn’t let you get married without flowers.”

Ella took them with a smile.  “Thanks Dad.  Is everything ready?”

“It’s just like you wanted it.”  He slid her hand into the crook of his arm. 

The entire service took place in the garden outside of Steven’s retirement home.  The blooming flowers and small pond provided all the atmosphere Ella wanted.  Zaeed waited impatiently with a local justice of the peace.  His outfit was a pair of black dress pants, button down the same shade as her dress, and a simple vest. Steven brushed a kiss over her cheek before taking her hand and placing it gently on Zaeed’s.

The ceremony was simple, yet achingly sweet.  Both Ella and Zaeed had composed their own vows to the other.  The justice of the peace spoke briefly about the dedication and love the two of them shared, before pronouncing them man and wife.  Zaeed placed an almost delicate kiss over her lips until Ella grinned and deepened it.  

The small group made their way inside where a small lunch was waiting.  After eating, Ella took a moment to divide her bouquet of wildflower in two.  With a mischievous smile, she plopped them down in Karin and Steve’s laps.

“Look at that.  You caught the bouquets.  I expect to be invited to the weddings.”  She laughed as they both blushed and stammered while Steven and Linc both stared at her wide eyed.  

“On that note, I’m taking my wife on our honeymoon.”  Zaeed scooped Ella up and walked out the front door, depositing her gently into a waiting sky car.  The small wedding party made their way to the front to see them off, including the dog who was staying with Karin and Steven.  Ella waved happily from her seat until they disappeared from view.  They didn’t travel for long before Zaeed stopped the vehicle in front of a very large, very empty looking house nestled between trees.

Ella looked at the house with a hint of suspicion.  “I love you and I know we’re married now, but I’m not having sex with you in a random abandoned house.”

“There’s a bloody reason I brought you here sweet Ella.”  He extended a hand and helped her from the vehicle.  He motioned for her to go in before him.  The house that she thought had been empty, was in fact, well furnished.  She made her way from room to room in amazement.  Each had been decorated in a style; some in asari fashion, others in turian or salarian.  She was  able to pick out hints of art from the drell, quarians, and krogan.  Her fish, once living on the Normandy, now swam lazy circles in their tank inside the master bedroom and an oversized dog bed lay in a corner.  

“What?  How?” Disbelief colored her voice.  

“I bought the place a few weeks after we got here.  T’Soni found out and offered to help bloody decorate it.”  His hands settled on her waist.  “Your crew each sent pieces of their homeworld for you.”

“I love it.  I can’t believe you did this.  But. . .you didn’t want to live on Earth.”

“Can’t I change my mind?  I’ll live on Earth, happily, with you sweetheart.”

Ella looped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.  “How did I luck out?” she whispered against his lips.

“Don’t think there was luck involved.”  Zaeed settled his hands on her waist, walking her gently back towards the bed.  He sought out the zipper that ran along her back.  As her knees bumped against the mattress, he lowered the zipper slowly, helping her peel the delicate lace from her arms.  The dress puddled on the ground with his help while Ella attacked the buttons of his shirt.  Eventually he pushed her hands away, taking over the task himself.  

Ella sat, unbuckling the thin sandal straps around her ankles before scooting up the length of the bed, stretching out against the soft fabric of the comforter.  Zaeed, finished with the task of undressing himself, slipped his hands between the silk of her underwear and her skin.  He pulled the delicate fabric down her legs, dropping the scrap of fabric on top of her dress.  

Zaeed settled into the cradle of her legs, using one arm to brace himself above her.  “Bloody gorgeous,” he murmured, lowering his head towards her.  The kiss began softly, but quickly deepened.  His free hand traced the length of her arms and along her breasts and neck, greedy for the feel of her skin.  Not to be left behind, Ella trailed her hands along his side and back, nails digging in occasionally. Her leg hooked behind his thigh, pulling him even closer. 

She arched up against him, rubbing his cock against her clit slightly.  Ella let out a quiet whisper moan as she repeated the movement.  His gravelly laugh filled the room and pressed into her.  Zaeed paused a moment, his forehead drifting forwards to lean against hers as they adjusted.  Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper and he bucked forward slightly at the sensation.  “Move dammit,” she murmured against his mouth.

“As you wish sweetheart.”  The rhythm was slow, easy.  No hurried rush to completion as bodies arched and pressed, both finding and giving pleasure equally.  Kisses were interspersed with quiet sounds of satisfaction and whispered words of praise and love.  Pleasure coiled in both of them until Ella’s hips arched and she cried out quietly.  Zaeed’s hips stuttered against hers as he groaned almost in unison with her.  

They stayed there, suspended in the moment, until eventually Zaeed rolled onto his back, pulling her tight against his chest.  The room quieted as their breathing evened.  He almost missed the sleepy “I love you,” she mumbled against his side before yawning, eyes drifting shut.

“I love you too sweet Ella.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella's wedding attire: http://missmeggowrites.tumblr.com/post/93132466999/missmeggo929-ella-gets-dresses-up


	55. Chapter 55

Ella was running late.  Zaeed waited outside of the newly constructed military barracks for his errant wife.  A few weeks after their wedding, Steven approached his daughter with an offer.  The reapers had targeted cities with large military populations, including the Interplanetary Combatives Academies.  Post war, the alliance had begun rebuilding the N1 facilities, no longer at Vila Militar, but outside of Buenos Aires. 

Knowing his daughter had no desire to return to active duty, Steven suggested Ella take over the training of up and coming biotics.  It was a well known secret that, given the number of exploding ships and exposure to eezo, more and more children would be born with biotic abilities.  The alliance hoped to have a well developed training strategy in place for when those children grew up.

After weeks of discussion with her husband, Ella agreed to lead at least one recruit class.  Both had been surprised when she took to it with surprising ease and one class quickly turned into a full time position.  While his wife spent her days teaching military recruits, Zaeed began working with local law enforcement.  His history with mercenary groups made him an ideal candidate to help set up task forces and departments aimed to reduce the swelling numbers of small street gangs.  His success in Buenos Aires meant his services were being requested by more and more agencies around the world.

This evening, however, was supposed to be about the two of them.  Ella had more than once told her friends that in the months since getting married, they dated more than in the twelve previous years and Zaeed secretly agreed.  He was mentally reviewing their weekend plans when the slight twitch of his jacket drew his attention.  His hand clamped down on what he expected was an adult pick pocket, but it was too thin, too fragile.  Zaeed’s gaze shifted downward.  A pair of terrified brown eyes stared back at him under a cap of riotous curls.  He placed the boy at no more than seven or eight.

“Picking pockets is a dangerous activity kid.  Pick the wrong one and it ends badly.”  He walked the boy over to a bench and pointed.  “Sit down and tell me why you thought that was a smart idea.  And don’t bloody lie to me.”

The young boy kicked at the concrete.  “I was just hungry ya know?  Thought you might have a chit or something.”  For a moment, Zaeed was sent back in time nearly twenty years to the moment he first met a twelve year old Ella who wanted nothing more than a bowl of gelato.  He was about to respond when she appeared at his side.

The look she gave him was curious, but her smile warm.  “Who’s this?”

“Haven’t gotten around to names.”  

The boy took in Ella’s all black uniform and started to fidget.  “I’m sorry okay?  I didn’t mean it.  Just, let me go and I’ll go home.  I promise.”

If Ella was startled by his reaction, she didn’t show it.  Instead, she sat down next to the frightened child.  “It’s okay,” she soothed.  “I’m not a cop.  Or a social worker.  No one’s going to take you away.”

“That’s what they all say,” he muttered.

“I know.  It’s pretty hard to trust grown ups.  Especially when they want to put you in a home.”

“We’re not going back!”

“I’m not going to send you back.  But I do think maybe you  need a good dinner.  Am I right?”  She watched him fidget a bit, eyes darting to the park down the road from where they sat and decided to take a chance.  “It’s a hard job being a big brother isn’t it?”

Zaeed’s eyes narrowed, while the little boy’s widened.  “How’d you know?” 

“I learned how to be a good guesser.  So, how about this,” she offered.  “That’s my husband.  His name is Zaeed.  My name is Ella.  He can go down the street to the cafe on the corner and get us a booth.  You and I can go get your brother or sister and all of us can have a nice dinner.  After we eat, we can talk about what should happen next, okay?”

The little boy glared suspiciously between Ella and Zaeed before the hunger won out.  “It’s a deal.”  He stuck a hand out and they shook.

Together, the two walked towards the small park.  The boy grudgingly offered that his name was Andrew Manning, but he wanted to be called Drew.  He didn’t say much after that.  They made their way towards the playground and a little blonde haired, green eyed girl who sat in the sandbox.  As they approached, she stopped digging and held her arms out for Drew. 

“C’mon Lizzy.  We’re gonna go have some dinner, okay?”  He helped the little girl up before looking at Ella.  “Lizzy doesn’t talk.  Not since Mom died.”

“That’s okay.  I’m sure you know what she likes to eat.” Ella crouched near the little girl who was half hiding behind her brother.  “I think we can even find some ice cream.  What do you think?”  

Lizzy gave her a shy smile before extending her arms out.  Ella scooped the little girl up and reached for Drew’s hand.  Together they headed for the small cafe.  Ella let the siblings sit together, knowing both would feel more comfortable.  She and Zaeed watched as the two small children ate their way through a bowls of macaroni and cheese, chicken strips, vegetables, multiple glasses of juice, and the promised ice cream sundaes.  

Halfway through the meal, Zaeed leaned in towards his wife.  “We can’t let the moppets sleep on the bloody street,” he murmured softly to her.

“I know.  I’ll see what I can do.” 

She waited until the two children had almost finished their meals before broaching the subject.  “Drew, I know you don’t want to go to a home.  I’m guessing you and your sister ran away from one.”

The panicked look crossed his face again.  “They were gonna take her away!  Put her with all the girls and me with boys.  I promised Mom I’d watch her.”  He looked as if he was ready to run.

“I know and I’m not asking you to go to one.  But I was thinking you two could come stay the night at our house.  We have a big guest room that the two of you can share.  Then in the morning, we can visit a friend of mine and see if we can find a place for you and your sister to stay together.”

She watched as emotions flashed across the boy’s face.  He hadn’t learned yet how to keep his expressions blank.  Drew looked at his little sister before nodding in agreement.  

The ride back to the house was tense.  Andrew spent most of the time whispering into Lizzy’s ears.  The little girl was more interested in peering out the windows.  When the arrived, she held her arms out for Zaeed, who swung her easily into his arms.  The gruff bounty hunter walked the two kids through the house while Ella sent an urgent message to Liara, asking for information about the two children.  

Once finished, she made her way to the living room and found Lizzy curled up next to Zaeed watching the original Blasto movie.  Drew had settled in beside his sister, but kept an eye towards the door as well.  Everest had wormed his way onto the couch as well, his head resting under the boy’s arm.  Ella brushed a kiss against the crown of Zaeed’s head before snapping a quick picture with her omni tool, laughing at the glare he shot her.

Both kids fell asleep before the movie finished.  Together they carried them to the smaller guest room on the second floor.  Ella removed socks and shoes before tucking both children into the bed, leaving them where Andrew could see them.  She remembered the fear of a center director locking up a child’s shoes.  It was used to deter those who were habitual runaways, but always seemed to instill that the children had no say in their own lives.  Everest settled at the foot of the bed.

Ella rejoined Zaeed on the couch, cuddling up against his side.  “Liara wrote back.”

“And what does the Shadow Broker have to say?”

“Andrew and Elizabeth Manning were orphaned a month before the reaper invasion.  Their father was killed in action during the Battle of the Citadel, Lizzy was born a few months after he passed away.  Their mother was involved in a skycar accident.  Two weeks after being sent to a group home, they disappeared.  Records trail off once the war starts.”

Zaeed wrapped an arm around her shoulder with a sigh.  “You wanna keep the bloody moppets don’t you sweet Ella?”

“Maybe.  We both know there’s more orphans than foster homes right now.  They’d most likely end up in separate group homes.  He’ll figure out a way to wiggle out of custody before that.  They’ll be back on the street within a week.”

“He’s going to run before the night’s over with,” Zaeed pointed out.  “First thing the kid did was figure out where all the goddamn doors were.”

She twisted in his arms to face him.  “You like him.”

“Smart kid.”

“So . . . does that mean we’ll foster them?”

“What do you bloody think?”

Ella leaned forward to press a kiss against his lips.  “I goddamn love you Zaeed Massani.”

“You better sweetheart.  You’re stuck with me.  And I might have messaged Steven to see what needs to be done to become foster parents while you settled the moppets in for the night.”

His words were punctuated by the beep of an incoming message.

_ S.H.- Why exactly is your husband asking me how the two of you can become foster parents? _

_ E.M.- Because my husband has a soft spot for street kids.  He may have almost been pickpocketed by a seven year old who’s currently asleep in our guest bedroom along with his three year old sister. _

_ S.H.- . . . Tell Zaeed he’s a bleeding heart. _

_ E.M.- I will.  So . . . about that foster parent stuff. . . _

_ S.H.- And you’re even more of a bleeding heart.  Luckily I still have some connections.  The department head of Children’s Services was more than happy to have Commander Shepard licensed as a foster parent.  Dr. T’Soni had already forwarded him multiple glowing recommendations as well as the safety specs of your house. _

_ E.M.- You’re amazing Dad. _

_ S.H.- I love you too Kid. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew Manning: http://missmeggowrites.tumblr.com/post/79875028948/pjbooth-i-just-like-making-icons  
> Elizabeth Manning (Yes I realize the face reference is older than 3, but you get the jist): http://missmeggowrites.tumblr.com/post/79874998642/you-never-used-to-be-like-this-how-would-you


	56. Chapter 56

It was just after dawn when Ella heard the telltale sound of small feet on the wooden floor.  She peered out of the kitchen to see a very sleepy looking Lizzy being led towards the front door by Drew.  “It’s a long walk into town.  Would you like breakfast before you go?”

The boy startled, accidentally knocking his sister to the ground.  Zaeed appeared at the end of the hall as Lizzy began to cry.  Muttering under his breath, he swept the little girl up, his hands running over her back soothingly.  

Drew glanced nervously between the two adults.  Ella held her hand out to him.  “Come into the kitchen with me so we can talk.”

He refused the outstretched hand, but made his way to the table.  Ella handed him a bowl and asked him to start cracking eggs.  He had finished half the carton before blurting out, “Aren’t you going to yell at me?  Or call the cops?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Cuz that’s what grown ups do.”

“That’s what  some grown ups do.”  She sat down across from the scared looking boy.  “I was your sister’s age when I got put into an orphanage,” she told him.  “I don’t remember my parents.  I was fourteen when I ran away and lived on the streets.”

Drew stared at her, wide eyed, eggs forgotten as she spoke.  “I know what it’s like to go hungry and I know what it’s like to not know where you’re sleeping at night.  It’s scary and you don’t know who to trust.  Anyone in uniform is a bad guy who wants to throw you back in a home.  They don’t listen and they don’t care.”

“I don’t want them to take my sister away.  I promised my Mom I’d take care of her.”

“I know.  And that’s a pretty big responsibility.”

“I can do it.”

“I’m sure you can, but maybe you’d take a little help?”

“Like what?”

“Why don’t you and your sister stay here?  Zaeed and I are foster parents, so it’s okay that you live with us.  You and Lizzy can stay here together.”

“You mean stay with you until they can find a group home for us, right?”

“If that’s what you’d like.  Or you could stay here for awhile.”

Drew sat back in his chair, thin arms crossed across his waist.  Ella saw distrust warring against hope on his face.  Eventually, he let out a deep sigh.  “I’m not calling you guys Mom and Dad.”

“I don’t think either of us expect you too,” she assured him softly.  

“Would I get my own bedroom?”

“I think we can arrange that.  You can even help decorate it if you’d like.”

He nodded a few times before sticking his hand out. “It’s a deal.”

Ella sealed the bargain with a handshake.  “It’s a deal,” she repeated back to him.  “Now, let’s get those eggs ready.  I’m hungry.”

The transition from a family of two, to a family of four had its ups and downs.  Both kids had their fair share of nightmares that had them screaming in the middle of the night.  Lizzy refused, or was unable, to speak to anyone, including her brother.  Andrew’s first response to most situations was to flee.  After their first disagreement about going to school, Zaeed found him huddled behind a tree in the woods behind the house, hands clenched tight in Everest’s fur. 

For every rough moment however, there were two happy ones.  Lizzy often cuddled up to Zaeed during movies or tv time and sought him out when she got upset.  Ella began building model ships with Andrew after finding him in her office one night playing with the ones salvaged from The Normandy.  Giggles could be heard from both rooms at night as they played with toys that seemed to arrive daily.  The backyard was quickly converted into a play yard where both Lizzy and Drew would spend their afternoons, more often than not with Everest.  Weekend mornings were spent in cuddled in bed, the kids enthralled with the fish tank.

A month into their new arrangement, her Dad and Karin arrived for a weekend visit.  Initially, both children seemed hesitant to go near them, both finding refuge next to Zaeed.  It wasn’t until David whispered that they recognized Steven from Alliance posters and news, that Ella realized their fears.  She sat down next to Steven and explained that  he was the one who adopted her.  Not long after, Lizzy crawled into his lap and Drew had wheedled a promise to visit a dry docked cruiser.

One afternoon, Drew made his way into Ella’s office after school.  It wasn’t an uncommon event, but he was so quiet, she felt the need to check up on him.  She found him tracing a hand over the miniature version of the original Normandy.

“What’s up kiddo?”  She hadn’t expected him to jump, almost guiltily.

“I’ve seen pictures of this ship at school, but it doesn’t look the same.”

Ella gently pulled the model off it’s base and handed it to him.  “That’s because there were two versions of this ship.  The SR 1 and the SR 2.  This is the SR 1.”

Drew turned the model in his hands.  “During school today, we were talking about the Council.  There were pictures.”

“What sort of pictures?”

He pointed to a datapad sitting beside him, a picture from the day Ella was sworn in as a Spectre staring back at her.  “She looks an awful lot like you.”

“That’s because she is me.”  Ella tapped the model gently.  “The SR 1 was my ship until he was destroyed.”

“You’re a Spectre.”

“I was a Spectre.  I retired after the war.”

Drew handed the model back to her.  “Will you tell me stories?”

“Of course.  But you know who tells them even better?”

“Who?”

“Zaeed.  Why don’t we go as him to tell us some of his favorites?”

The model forgotten, Drew ran from the room, yelling at the top of his lungs for Zaeed.  Watching him run from the room, Everest barreling after him, left her with a contentedness she hadn’t felt in a long time.  

After that, Ella began inviting team members to meet the children.  The Normandy’s crew were quickly enchanted by the two children.  Grunt had chosen to stay on Earth and would often stop by and take Drew to the beach and shark watch with him.  The krogan quickly became a pseudo older brother to both children.  Liara became a quick favorite of Lizzy’s after they spent an afternoon digging holes in the backyard, searching for artifacts.  The prothean trinket Liara had hidden for her to find now sat proudly on a shelf in the little girl’s room.  Linc, Steve, and Vega were frequent visitors and inevitably joined whatever mischief the siblings had devised.  

Garrus, Tali, and Wrex each made a special trip back to the Citadel to meet the two.  Drew insisted on Wrex teaching him to headbutt, to Zaeed’s amusement and Ella’s dismay.  She ignored her husband’s whispered comment about the moppet becoming like his mother.  She also ignored the longing that shot through her after being called Mom.  That same trip, Tali and Garrus offered to take the two for an afternoon.  By the time they brought the kids back to the apartment, Garrus’ sharp shooting skills had won both Lizzy and Drew multiple large stuffed animals at the arcade.   

Four months into the children living with them, Ella’s presence was requested by the council.  She reluctantly agreed to the meeting.  Her three days on the Citadel alone seemed to drag by.  Returning home, she was surprised to see Steven’s sky car sitting outside her house.  Ella let herself in, kicking her shoes off as she entered.  Silently, she padded through the house, towards the murmuring voices in the kitchen.  Steven and Drew were deep in conversation and she was hesitant to disturb them.

“Why does Ella sometimes call you Dad and sometimes call you Steven?”

“Well, you know how I adopted Ella?”

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t lucky enough to adopt her when she was little.  She was even older than you when I first met her and she didn’t get to be part of my family for a very long time.  So sometimes she calls me Dad and sometimes she calls me Steven.”

“Do you like it when she calls you Dad?”

“It makes me very happy when she calls me Dad.”

The two men were quiet and Ella almost joined them.  Drew’s next words had her stopping though.

“Do . . . do you think if we stayed with Ella and Zaeed for a long time, we might be able to call them Mom and Dad?”

Ella could almost see the look of concentration on Steven’s face before he answered.  “While you have to ask them for sure, I think they would both be very okay if you called them Mom and Dad.”

“Do you think they want us to stay with them?”

“I know for a fact they want you to stay with them kiddo.”

“If . . . if we get to stay with them, can I call you Papa?  Some of the other kids have grandpa’s and they call them Papa.”

“Nothing would make me happier than to be your Papa, Andrew.”  Steven’s voice was noticeably choked.  Ella had to wipe her own eyes before pulling up a message to Zaeed.

_ To: Zaeed Massani _

_ From: Ella Shepard _

_ Subj: Get Home Now _

_ Z- _

_ I think it’s time we finished filling out those papers you have hiding in your desk. _

_ You know which ones.  The adoption paperwork you haven’t requested and started working on. _

_ E _


	57. Chapter 57

The annual gathering at Ella and Zaeed’s home hadn’t been planned at the beginning.  The entire galaxy seemingly shut down on the first anniversary of the reaper war.  Celebrations were held on just about every home world, colony, and space station.  Ella had invited James to spend the holiday with them since he was part way through his first N level. Linc and Steve showed up the day before and made themselves at home, as they were known to do.

The next year, more people showed and by the third it was unofficially known that any of her crew were welcome at the house.  This year was different though.  Five years had passed since the war ended and the party was an official one.  Ella had extended invitations to every and all crew member she could find.  Most had accepted.

Ella sat on the porch overlooking her backyard.  She watched as a small herd of children darted in between groups of adults and tables laden with enough food to appeal to any palate.  Drew and Lizzy had been bouncing off the walls for weeks, excited to finally get to meet and play with their “cousins” spread throughout the galaxy.  Garrus and Tali had followed in Zaeed and Ella’s footsteps, adopting both a turian and quarian left orphaned after the war.  Jacob and Bree had brought their two little ones and Wrex was accompanied by a handful of baby krogan.  Ella had even convinced Ann and Garrett to visit.  Ellie and Lizzy were almost identical in age and had quickly become fast friends.  

Her old crew had settled into the general chaos of the party with ease.  Her group of engineering minded friends were debating the newest upgrades to their respective ships.  James and Ashley had mysteriously disappeared not long after she had arrived.  Ella only hoped they made it to their guest room this time, especially with children around.  Linc and Steve, newly married, were glued to each other as they made their way from group to group.

Liara and Feron arrived together and Ella glad to see they had finally realized what everyone else had; their mutual respect for each other was a bit more than that.  Jack, Grunt, and Kasumi had joined the herd of kids in a rather noisy game of hide and seek.  The groups dynamics ebbed and flowed as people left one group and joined another.  The only people missing were Karin and her father, who were attending the  official  events Ella wouldn’t.  Every so often, a person or small group would head into the house.  

Over time, Ella had built a small memorial to the friends she lost during the war.  The shells she collected for Mordin sat on a shelf alongside the datapad of his songs.  Thane’s prayer book and a small vial of sand from the beaches of Kajhe sat on another.  A damaged piece of her original N7 armor sat next to a small statuette of Legion.  A bottle of Canadian lager and a picture of the original SR1 crew had it’s own small area.  Sometime during the day, Ella knew each of her crew members would visit the shrine.  It was as much of a tradition as the party itself.  

“Are you tired Mama?”  Lizzy’s question brought Ella out of her daydreams.  The eight year old stood next to her lounge chair, stroking Everest’s silky ear.  Zaeed’s prophecy of the dog being a mountain had come true.  He outweighed both kids combined, but had always been a gentle giant.  They had all been relieved when Lizzy had started speaking not long after the adoption was finalized.   No one had been surprised though, that her first words had been to the dog.  He took his job of protector seriously, dividing his time between the kids and Ella.  Zaeed often complained that he was left out in the affection.

“Just a little bit honey bee.”

“I’ll sit with you.”

“Your father will be out in a minute.  Go and play sweetie.  I know how excited you are to have your friends here.”

“I’m here now Moppet.”

“Daddy!”

“Quiet sweetheart,” he warned.  “Don’t wake your brother.”  Lizzy hopped up on her toes to press a kiss onto her newborn brother’s cheek before heading back into the yard.  Zaeed settled next to Ella, their six week old son cradled in his arms.  Her head rested against his shoulder as she smiled at her sleeping son.

“I still can’t believe he’s ours.”  The arrival of Alexander Philip Massani had been a surprise to everyone.  Not long after they adopted Drew and Lizzy, Ella’s doctors had informed her conceiving a biological child of her own was close to impossible.  They had been content with their family of four and neither worried over the diagnosis.  Finding out their family of four would be a family of five had been happy moment for them all.

“I bloody can.  He got his lungs from you sweetheart.”

“Right.  Because his Daddy is so quiet.”

“Just watch.  He’ll be trying to head butt his cousins in a few years.”  

“That only happened once!”

“Once was enough.”  As his son began to whimper in his sleep, Zaeed shifted him to rest against his heart.  

Ella couldn’t keep the smile off her face at how easily he was able to comfort their son.  She glanced back out over the party and her smile softened.

“What’s that look for sweet Ella?”

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

She gestured out over the group of people gathered.  “I never pictured this.  Through everything that’s happened; the group homes, living on the streets, The Reds, even my first few years in the Alliance.  I never once thought I’d wind up with a home, or friends, and a family of my own.”

He pressed a soft kiss to Ella’s forehead before handing her their son.  “If someone had told me buying a little red headed slip of a girl some ice cream would end like this, I would’ve thought they were crazy.”  

“I’m glad we were both wrong.”

“Me too sweetheart.”  He stood and offered a hand to Ella.  “Now let’s go introduce the newest moppet to the rest of the family sweetheart.  I think they’re getting impatient.”

“Only if you stop the fighting over who gets to be godfather.  Last I heard Grunt had suggested they all battle a thresher maw.  First one to kill it gets the honor.”

“They’re your crew,” he reminded her.

“But they’re  our family.”

“Very true, sweetheart.  Very true .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ella and Zaeed's story is done, at least for now.


End file.
